Parents arguing.

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unkownkittycat7

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Basically I'm a Muslim girl with my sisters and parents. Recently from the middle of September my parent have been arguing bad. My dad always does his daily routine and goes to sleep aorund 7 PM and wakes up at 10 PM to eat and rest downstairs. But this is really bad arguing to the point where my 6 year old sister has to shout at them to stop. My dad drinks I'm not sure what it is but its beer I think and we Muslims arnt even allowed to drink beer or alcohol but all my sisters know except for the young ones but we never confront my dad about it because we are not scared but I'm not sure we just haven't. My dad drinks his beer then comes downstairs and starts yelling at my mom random stuff like 10 minutes ago he accused her of having a affair with my uncle which we don't even see because he lives far away and my mom dislikes him then he started yelling stupidly about how he has to give money to her which he normally should as my mum has no access to her bank accounts at all. It's actually my parents screaming at the top of their voice I have never heard anyone like that. No one knows about this. I love both my parents but I never want them to split. This has happened before and my older sisters have had to stop them arguing. But my older sisters work so its difficult for us to stop them . my dad just cussed my grandma and called us b*******. But I know he's probably drunk and dosnt mean it. I have been on many websites but I can never find one which I feel comfortable with sharing my experience. I just hate my dad right now. I need help. I'm not comfortable with talking to therapists or school counseling or anything along those lines. And I can't sit down with both of them I feel uncomfortable. I need urgent help!
 
Asalaamu alaiykum sister
My parents, though they are not Muslim, have recently been going through the steps if divorce in America. I blamed my mother firstly, even though my father requested the divorce because she never seemed to want to be involved in the household which hurt us as a family for many years. Eventually I learned of things which had occurred in their marriage which I had no knowledge of and I wish I never did learn it. Allah has a divine plan, which he only knows of. My purpose of sharing my story is that there may be things there that fulfil the conditions for divorce Is islam or other things. These things should be allowed to stay in confidence between the persons involved and allah swt as itnshould be. I understand the hardships of fighting parents, my father drinks as well (not Muslim) and it is hard. What I have learned is not to favor either one, but try to remember that Allah has a plan and that this may be a test for you and your siblings, as well as for your parents and those involved. Forgive them both, for what you do not know, and ask for their forgiveness from Allah swt. Jazakallah khayr for sharing your story with us
 
My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” [Quran; Surah Al-Isra, Verse 24
Refrain from asking things I have no knowledge of
رَبِّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ أَنْ أَسْأَلَكَ مَا لَيْسَ لِي بِهِ عِلْمٌ ۖ وَإِلَّا تَغْفِرْ لِي وَتَرْحَمْنِي أَكُنْ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ
My Lord, I seek refuge in You from asking that of which I have no knowledge. And unless You forgive me and have mercy upon me, I will be among the losers.
Surah Hud - 11:47

Forgiveness for us and our siblings
رَبِّ اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِأَخِي وَأَدْخِلْنَا فِي رَحْمَتِكَ ۖ وَأَنْتَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ
O my Lord! Forgive me and my brother, and make us enter into Your Mercy, for you are the Most Merciful of those who show mercy.
Surah Al-A'raf - 7:151


Inshallah these duas benefit you and you family ameen
 
I am not sure how old you are or your older sisters, but I would say that someone "adult" needs to sit down with both your parents (separately) to discuss the situation as its not a healthy environment for a 6 year old. From what I have experience with, there are times when poeple need an intervention, a wake up call for them to realize that things need to change. Either way it's best to sit down and communicate with them, as this is clearly effecting the whole family. I will also suggest speaking to an imaan if it's a religious advice that you want, those with knowldge can lead you to a better path inshaa Allah. For now be patient, and make allot of dua. May Allaah ease your burden.
 

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