Parents have gone against their word!

[Kiro]

I understand that everyone wants her to know that it is haram etc and what the Quran and sunnah says about it...and im sure she already knows this
But a few of you are coming across very harshly towards the sister, which can in actuall fact can push her further away from islam and more onto him to get away from being judged and spoken to so harshly.
Nobody here is perfect or pious, we all sin in some form or the other and may anger Allah knowingly or unknowingly, the doors of repentance to Allah are always open if there is emaan in the heart.
The sister clearly knows its wrong but is oviously going to find it difficult to leave or walk away from somebody who to HER she loves and finds happiness with, she clearly does not want it to end and would rather be married to the guy in a halal manner
Sometimes people need to take a down to earth approach when giving advice yes mention Quran & sunnah no doubt but also try to be understanding to her situation and try to think and feel how she does in her situation
The harshness is what drives people away from the deen and further into haram...
"this is haram your haram etc etc" yesss they knoww !! So help them understand in the best way possible while being empathetic to their situation, while remembering that you yourselfs are not perfect and to hold off the judgy tones

We should all be encouraging her and helping her emaan raise, and maybe one of the brothers could speak to him and befriend him and help him find islam

they're just speaking the truth, it might come across as harsh but they've spoken the truth

there's not really many ways in saying it

 

[muslimah_B]

they're just speaking the truth, it might come across as harsh but they've spoken the truth

I dont dent theyre speaking the truth, but there is way to speak to fellow muslims, the way you speak and give advice can determine wether they take it on board and act on it or just ignore it as its come across in a judgemental manner
eg

A sister is wearing sandals and another sister tells her she shouldnt wear them its haram go put shoes on... shes not going to pay attention and find it very rude

If the sister says... sis you have cute feet but sister we dont show our feet, men can find them attractive, and covering them is part of our hijab... she is more likely to take it on board and act upon it.

There are etiquettes on giving advice and how you should..
Nobody here would like to be spoken to in a harsh manner when asking for advice and help
These exact reasons are why muslims born or reverts turn away from the deen due to harshness of other muslims when asking for help (im saying in general aswell not directly at anybody here)

 

[Serinity]

The truth may be salty and bitter, the lie may be pleasant and sweet.

so please, say the shahadah. Cuz I know you've said kufr. Idk whether you've repented from it tho.

 

[Kiro]

I dont dent theyre speaking the truth, but there is way to speak to fellow muslims, the way you speak and give advice can determine wether they take it on board and act on it or just ignore it as its come across in a judgemental manner
eg

A sister is wearing sandals and another sister tells her she shouldnt wear them its haram go put shoes on... shes not going to pay attention and find it very rude

If the sister says... sis you have cute feet but sister we dont show our feet, men can find them attractive, and covering them is part of our hijab... she is more likely to take it on board and act upon it.

There are etiquettes on giving advice and how you should..
Nobody here would like to be spoken to in a harsh manner when asking for advice and help
These exact reasons are why muslims born or reverts turn away from the deen due to harshness of other muslims when asking for help (im saying in general aswell not directly at anybody here)

I know but sometimes these posts can come across as harsh when they're not. It's their job to convey the teachings of Islam the best they can but it's not their job for the receiving end to like the message and teachings of Islam better.

The sister asked on a Islamic forum and I understand [MENTION=38408]Serinity[/MENTION]'s posts may have come across harsh but he was just being honest. There's not much you can say.

Sister Egyptian, you can't convert him and Allah won't put blessings into a marriage that was born out of the haram.

 

[Serinity]

From the bottom of my heart: You are not in love. this love is but haram love. Infatuation, a crush.

I've been there, it is not love, it is something that will suck the living happiness out of you one day, it will be your course of grief. Like sweet poison that takes it toll at the end..

Allah SWT does not bless haram relationships with love - rather it is fueled by the shaytaan - illusionary dreams and feelings, that bring nothing but pain.

you just don't see it, you're poisoned by this haram love - you've been blinded. Please wake up.

painful experiences that came from haram relationships, etc. should serve as lessons that make us wiser and stronger. MAY Allah SWT make you feel the pain, out of His Mercy. Ameen.

Pain and sorrow can be your teacher - but it can also be your destroyer. Allahu alam.

 

[muslimah_B]

I know but sometimes these posts can come across as harsh when they're not. It's their job to convey the teachings of Islam the best they can but it's not their job for the receiving end to like the message and teachings of Islam better.

The sister asked on a Islamic forum and I understand [MENTION=38408]Serinity[/MENTION]'s posts may have come across harsh but he was just being honest. There's not much you can say.

Sister Egyptian, you can't convert him and Allah won't put blessings into a marriage that was born out of the haram.

I understand that, but thats why we should be carefull how we speak even on here to people, to try our best to not come across in a demeaning way or harsh way, you may not care how it comes across but for the person recieving it, it can be very upsetting and for anybody with low emaan or little to none it can be the pushing point of them staying or leaving

 

[muslimah_B]

From the bottom of my heart: You are not in love. this love is but haram love. Infatuation, a crush.

I've been there, it is not love, it is something that will suck the living happiness out of you one day, it will be your course of grief. Like sweet poison that takes it toll at the end..

Allah SWT does not bless haram relationships with love - rather it is fueled by the shaytaan - illusionary dreams and feelings, that bring nothing but pain.

you just don't see it, you're poisoned by this haram love - you've been blinded. Please wake up.

painful experiences that came from haram relationships, etc. should serve as lessons that make us wiser and stronger. MAY Allah SWT make you feel the pain, out of His Mercy. Ameen.

Pain and sorrow can be your teacher - but it can also be your destroyer. Allahu alam.

I honestly agree with what you said up untill you made that dua wich tbh i dont agree with.

We all agree that what she is doing is haram, wether it is love or not only Allah knows whats in their hearts and what their intentions are, but i dont think you should be making dua for the sister to feel pain... rather we should be making dua for her emaan to rise and for Allah to guide her and give her strengthen her

The guy could revert and they get married, they repent for their mistakes...Allah is all mercifull and will continuosly forgive us whilst we still have emaan in our hearts.

If youv been there then you should know how hard it is and be more empathetic towards the whole situation

 

[Serinity]

Bismillahi rahmani raheem,

Consider this, internalise this - don't feel offended or try to blame other people. Look inside yourself - blame yourself, and fix yourself. Don't blame others for your pain. Now:

Know that Allah SWT may punish someone by giving them pleasure, either by a boyfriend or girlfriend, business, women, cars, etc. And they get happy, their ego takes hold, and they think "I really feel nice!" or something.... But that may but a punishment in disguise, or something.

Now, please take this as a wakeup call, and internalise that you are deluded, and that you need to see clearly. Your boyfriend won't bring anything, he is just another child of Adam, a potential Muslim, yes, but not one yet.

your intentions may be good, but your actions are not good. If your actions are bad, your intentions go out the window. If I go kill children and say "I really just want to love them......<3" doesn't matter.

you are committing wrong, so whatever your intentions are, know that if what you do is haram, your intentions whether good or wrong, will not justify it.

 

[Serinity]

I honestly agree with what you said up untill you made that dua wich tbh i dont agree with.

We all agree that what she is doing is haram, wether it is love or not only Allah knows whats in their hearts and what their intentions are, but i dont think you should be making dua for the sister to feel pain... rather we should be making dua for her emaan to rise and for Allah to guide her and give her strengthen her

The guy could revert and they get married, they repent for their mistakes...Allah is all mercifull and will continuosly forgive us whilst we still have emaan in our hearts.

If youv been there then you should know how hard it is and be more empathetic towards the whole situation

The dua is a beautiful dua. Very beautiful. Very Merciful. There is much much wisdom in it, I feel. May Allah SWT bless us. Ameen.

May Allah SWT forgive me for whatever I said of wrong. Ameen.

Now take the shahadah, EgyptPrincess, cuz you said open clear kufr in a post.

 

[Kiro]

Sister, I'm sorry you feel like this. And I know it can be hard. And that it can be conflicting.

But remember, your parents raised you, changed you. Your mother gave up her figure (her beauty) for you for more than 9 months and went through the biggest pain imaginable just to bring you into the world. Fed you and changed you, they were patient with you when you just kept crying and disturbed their sleep. Cleaning your urine and defecation. They didn't have to this for you. Don't forget the favours of your parents and before you become the one that looks after them like they did with you when you were a baby.

You love your parents but your parents love for you is unimaginable. What they've done for you even if you deny the favours they have done for you, is even bigger the the favours of that man.

They love you and they will always be your child no matter what harsh things they say to you. We should honor them in the best way we can or atleast we can try to honor them in the ways we can whether it is making a cup of tea for them or doing the laundry or cleaning the dishes.

Don't hurt your parents more than you need to.

And Allah loves his creation many times than parents. By the will of Allah, he feeds you, clothes you and showers you. Sincerely ask yourself. Who is more deserving, Allah; the most compassionate and mercy beyond your imagination, the kindest over a man (a creation of Allah).

I know, even if you don't think I'd understand. Yes you love this man but if you're still with him then you're choosing him over Allah.

But if you ever get the questions around your heard. Because of this Islam, I can't do this or I can't do this. Allah isn't wishing hardship for you but he wants you to avoid hardship. Allah is above all examples when you have a father that forbids a child from doing this and the child gets really angry and upset or even attached. They just want what's best for you.

He seemed like a nice man, if possible. Get him to come back and so Islamicboard can do some dawah.

But if you really love Allah, if you really believe in Islam. Leave him for the sake of Allah, the longer you're with him then the harder it will be.

This life is temporary so don't fall into the trap of this world over the eternal.

 

[muslimah_B]

The dua is a beautiful dua. Very beautiful. Very Merciful. There is much much wisdom in it, I feel. May Allah SWT bless us. Ameen.

May Allah SWT forgive me for whatever I said of wrong. Ameen.

Now take the shahadah, EgyptPrincess, cuz you said open clear kufr in a post.

In my humble opinion we should only be making dua of pain etc to people who are in a position to deserve it, such as those who openly leave islam slandering it whilst calling people to shirk, or those who kill or harm muslims...

What exaclty did she say that was kufr, could you please post it so if it is infact kufr she may see it and repent in sha Allah

 

[EgyptPrincess]

[MENTION=38408]Serinity[/MENTION] I don't need to say shahada because Allah swt knows my true feelings. I said some things which were of my opinion, I never said they were true. Allah knows best.

I have said all I can say and I don't know what else I can say or do. Serinity you seem to be under the illusion that non muslims can never have a sound marriage, I know of an elderly couple who married at 20 and they're not in their 80's so don't tell me non islamic marriage cannot work out. I also know of some Muslims who married and divorced in a few years...

He may rip my heart out and I will be emotionally scared for life but I don't believe he will. He would do anything for me I know it, the last thing he wants is to upset me. Of course I know what I am doing is wrong and Allah knows my intentions. I don't want someone else... I don't want a controlling man like my father, I don't want a man with a beard or a man that cannot provide very well for me. I want this man and Inshallah he'll be guided to Islam, with my support.

I will click my fingers and he will come running, I can help him understand Islam and by the will of Allah he will become Muslim. I am in such an emotional state right now, I am split into two different people, love for Allah and my parents and love for my boyfriend. I know that my heart should be full of love for Allah but it's not at the moment and the love I have for my boyfriend is so strong (some might say alhamdulillah if he was my husband) but I know it's haram love.

At this point the only thing which will stop me from pursuing this path is if he turns me back and sends me home again like he did last time. He knows the state I am in and the sadness I have so I doubt he will send me back again. Besides this is only for a few months because I leave for uni then and Inshallah he is Muslim by this point.

I will continue to read what you all post and reply to PM's from the helpful sisters jzk but I won't reply here on the forum. It's too stressful to argue a losing battle. I continue to pray Inshallah and Ramadan is coming up which I will fast and Inshallah my iman grows stronger and perhaps he will convert when I teach him some more about it. If we learn about it together I think he will become interested in it.

Yes Allah guides whom he chooses but people sometimes need a push in the right direction, usually from a friend.

I don't know what else to say... imsad

 

[Serinity]

Here is the kufr post:

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-...-parents-disowned-daughter-3.html#post2892456

And I didn't say that kafirs can't have good marriages, but that it can be a punishment in disguise. Allah SWT may take someone at their greatest moment in life - lots of children, cars, good parents, etc.

A Muslim may be going through tons of trials, divorces, pain, family problems, but Allah SWT loves him.

The "good" moments you go through with your boyfriend, is just an illusion. The life of this world is enjoyment, but the Hereafter is better.

Do you really think that Allah SWT will bless this sinful relationship? I don't think so.

May Allah SWT guide you. Ameen.

 

[Misbah0411]

Here is the kufr post:

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-...-parents-disowned-daughter-3.html#post2892456

And I didn't say that kafirs can't have good marriages, but that it can be a punishment in disguise. Allah SWT may take someone at their greatest moment in life - lots of children, cars, good parents, etc.

A Muslim may be going through tons of trials, divorces, pain, family problems, but Allah SWT loves him.

The "good" moments you go through with your boyfriend, is just an illusion. The life of this world is enjoyment, but the Hereafter is better.

Do you really think that Allah SWT will bless this sinful relationship? I don't think so.

May Allah SWT guide you. Ameen.

Unfortunately, that is clear cut kufr which explains so many other of her posts.

 

[Freedom]

I've been reading the posts in this thread. I usually have a lot to say, but I don't even know what to write this time.

 

[Serinity]

Unfortunately, that is clear cut kufr which explains so many other of her posts.

True, some are very unislamic, and quite poisonous too.

she doesn't see clearly, may Allah SWT guide her.

I don't see why she is holding unto this poison.. Like an addict on crack or something.

I apologize if I offended, in advance.
May Allah SWT forgive me If I said wrong. Ameen.

 

[muslimah_B]

Unfortunately it is clear cut kufr... denying the Quran or stating it has defects or it not complete is denying Allah and denying Allah is perfect point blank..
After reading it maybe the sister is in need of rukya as no sane muslim would say such things about the Quran... astagfirllah

Tbh sometimes things are very hard to let go of and take some time, something you may find easy, to another person it could be the hardest thing in the world to them

Wallahi i had the hardest time giving up music and doing my eyebrows
Then Allah sent me a dream that scared the poop out of me and i stopped music from that moment, i still have my odd days where im tempted to but i know its shaytan and his waswas.
Eyebrows i read the hadeeth about being cursed... and was like no way am i going to be cursed for this
(I honestly see sisters getting their eyebrows done in ramadan and it makes me shudder) i tell them about the hadeeth in the best way i can, iv done my job and from that point on its up to them

As long as we have made our point that it is indeed haram, it is upon her either listn and act or not to listn

 

[Kiro]

True, some are very unislamic, and quite poisonous too.

she doesn't see clearly, may Allah SWT guide her.

I don't see why she is holding unto this poison.. Like an addict on crack or something.

I apologize if I offended, in advance.
May Allah SWT forgive me If I said wrong. Ameen.

Unfortunately it is clear cut kufr... denying the Quran or stating it has defects or it not complete is denying Allah and denying Allah is perfect point blank..
After reading it maybe the sister is in need of rukya as no sane muslim would say such things about the Quran... astagfirllah

Tbh sometimes things are very hard to let go of and take some time, something you may find easy, to another person it could be the hardest thing in the world to them

Wallahi i had the hardest time giving up music and doing my eyebrows
Then Allah sent me a dream that scared the poop out of me and i stopped music from that moment, i still have my odd days where im tempted to but i know its shaytan and his waswas.
Eyebrows i read the hadeeth about being cursed... and was like no way am i going to be cursed for this
(I honestly see sisters getting their eyebrows done in ramadan and it makes me shudder) i tell them about the hadeeth in the best way i can, iv done my job and from that point on its up to them

As long as we have made our point that it is indeed haram, it is upon her either listn and act or not to listn

That was a while ago. The sister must have changed, it's likely she doesn't believe there are defects anymore

 

[EgyptPrincess]

Unfortunately, that is clear cut kufr which explains so many other of her posts.

You're right... now I look back at what I said I cannot believe I said that. :astag:never would I think that. I think I said that after I had a massive argument with my father and I was very mad with him because he was using the Quran to justify (legitimately) my relationship with him as haram and I was very ignorant to this and so I shunned the Quran. Oh allah forgive me! I resaid Shahada and never will I say anything like that again. I am just weak at controlling my emotions. Allah knows my intentions and my thoughts and my feelings!

I regret saying this so much and forgot I even said it...

This was the week my father kicked me out and I was extremely emotional and angry and not thinking clearly. I just looked back and I said some other terrible things. I am the worst of Muslims :astag:

 

[muslimah_B]

That was a while ago. The sister must have changed, it's likely she doesn't believe there are defects anymore

Im using tap talk so i cant see properly when posts where made or maybe its just me and my newbness to taptalk lol