Parents will not accept the guy i wish to marry

[HijabiPrincess]

Asalum alaikum

For the past few days, i am under great distress and i am feeling completely helpless.. My problem is that i have fallen in love with a man who has previously been divorced, his marriage lasted a short time only.. and recently i chose to speak to my mum about this.. I told her about him and how i feel, howevery mum has said that her answer is a complete no, as people are going to talk if i get married to a divorced man.. Also, she says that he does not belong to a good family.. However masha Allah he prays 5 times a day, and tries his best to follow the deen.. But my mum is rejecting him on the basis of his divorce and family.. she says that his family only want me to marry him so they can receive money from my parents but this man is not like that, and i dont know how to explain this to my mum.. i have been feeling very depressed constantly crying, and i just dont know what to do.. Running away from home is not an option as i can not put my family through that but i know that i can never marry anyone other than this man.. Please help me and give me advice.. if anyone has been through anything similar please do share your experience..
Jazak Allah Khair..

 

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:


sis , don't do anymore unislamic things like run away from home . Have patience . Don't rush for marriage.

U may offer Istekhara salat about marrying the guy . Also stop mixing with him as it's haram to do so .

keep praying to Allah to grant what is best for u.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Asalum alaikum

For the past few days, i am under great distress and i am feeling completely helpless.. My problem is that i have fallen in love with a man who has previously been divorced, his marriage lasted a short time only.. and recently i chose to speak to my mum about this.. I told her about him and how i feel, howevery mum has said that her answer is a complete no, as people are going to talk if i get married to a divorced man.. Also, she says that he does not belong to a good family.. However masha Allah he prays 5 times a day, and tries his best to follow the deen.. But my mum is rejecting him on the basis of his divorce and family.. she says that his family only want me to marry him so they can receive money from my parents but this man is not like that, and i dont know how to explain this to my mum.. i have been feeling very depressed constantly crying, and i just dont know what to do.. Running away from home is not an option as i can not put my family through that but i know that i can never marry anyone other than this man.. Please help me and give me advice.. if anyone has been through anything similar please do share your experience..
Jazak Allah Khair..

:wa:

If he is such a practising man then why did he have a relationship with you in the first place? On top of that if you had kept within the boundaries that Allah has set you and did not have an kind of relationship with him then you would not have felt this way right now and you would not have felt this much grief from your parents rejecting him.

Your parents are completely entitled to their stance and the fact that you had a relationship with him and displeased Allah is now showing from the fact that they will not allow you to marry him. You will not find any peace, contentment or happiness by going behind their back to marry him.

So the wrong was yours sister. Relationships are forbidden for a reason and your situation highlights very well the reason for forbidding marriage in Islam.

So what you must do is to firstly stop all contact with the guy in order to ask of Allah what the best thing is for you to do in such a situation. Then make Isthikhara. You cant make it by being in touch with him. Keep making Isthikhara and asking of Allah and put your reliance, faith and trust in him that whatever happens after that is the best for you.

May Allah do what is best for you. Ameen

 

[Ali_008]

:wasalamex

The time that we are living in, situations like these are very common. I advice you that you pay attention to what your parents are telling you. Like it or not, in most cases, you don't just marry a man/woman, but you marry their family as well. You become their honor, and vice versa. You might feel that this man will keep you happy, but let me tell you if his family is as bad as your mom feels them to be then there will only be troubles for you in the future. I have seen with my own eyes a very loving couple turning into mortal enemies of each other just because the husband's family behaves in the most ignorant ways. I'm not saying that the guy can't keep you happy, only Allah knows his dedication as a husband, but you can be sure that it will tough to stick together when you have troublesome family members. Any dirt that a part of the household accumulates eventually spreads (at least a speck) to the entire house.

And don't let such "I'll never marry another man" thoughts rule you. At times of distress, such thoughts do trouble us, and they need to be tackled. Remember that time heals even the most painful and deadliest wounds. Eventually, you will overcome whatever sadness you might face, and be able to turn over a new leaf. In sha Allah, Allah will bless you with something even better in exchange for your patient stance.

Plus, do you know the reason why this man had a divorce to begin with. It could be that because of his family that the first divorce happened.

Don't get so worried over this matter. Allah is watching over all of us, and he will help both you and him, and moreover, if you two are destined to be together, you will together no matter what. Leave it in Allah's hands, and don't take any unwise steps.

 

[muslimgirl_00]

:wa:
Sister, I am in a very similar situation. My mother refuses to let me marry the boy of my choice due to his past. Stay strong, don't make any wrong decisions that will make the situation any harder. When love is involved the matter becomes harder to deal with, carry on trying to talk to your mom even if she is not listening that's what i do and inshallah the situation gets better. Remember, what is meant for us will reach us no matter, but what is not for us will not touch us. I hope everything goes right for you, him and your family inshallah. Stay strong and remember your deen turn to Allah SWT and ask for guidance.