As-salamu alaykum brothers and sisters.
I am in need of some advice regarding getting married to a person my parents don't accept.
I am a 20 year old female and recently I was approached by a guy who I am known for 4 years, we talked about marriage and decided we wanted to get married.
I did istikhara and thought about it for a long time and everything came out positive.
The guy I want to marry is a different culture to me and he became muslim a few months ago. He prays and is learning the Quran everyday. He is 21 years of age and Is going university this September ( I am in my 1st year university). He is a well mannered, lovely guy and I truly believe he is good for me. Marrying him will strengthen my iman and make me a better person. He works and so do it do we have more than enough money to live a happy and comfortable life till we graduate and find jobs.
The problem is when I told my mom about him she was so negative about it. Merely based on the fact that we're from 2 different cultures, she saying he's too young, his parents aren't Muslim and she's making assumptions such as he'll beat you up, he'll take your kids away if you divorce, he'll make you stop university and stay at home for the rest of your life, his parents will hate you (his parents love me and are very positive towards the idea of us getting married), family and friends will think less of me if I marry him and I'll bring shame on the family all because he's a different race.she is trying to push me into marrying someone from my own race and even said she'll give my number to a few suitors even after I have refused. I have 2 older brother who let my mom down and I am the oldest sister of 4 younger sibling I have always been the one helping out with the younger siblings and keeping the family going so I feel like my mom is just taking advantage now. I have fulfilled all my duties as a sister and a daughter and I feel like it's time for me to let go and start my life. I am very mature and understand that getting married is a very big step.
My moms done istikhara as well and said hers was negative but I read somewhere that someone else can't do istikhara for you because they don't understand the situation as well as you.
My Mom also said if I do go ahead with this then I'll have to call my dad and ask him myself she won't help me or talk to him for me and even if he says no then she'll disown me an move back to Africa and take the kids with her.
I don't know what else to do, I really want to marry this person because I feel like he's right for me in this Dunya and hereafter but at the same time I don't wanna give my mom any more trouble and disappoint her like my brothers and I don't want her moving away and leaving me here all alone. I don't know what else to do I'm very stuck.
P.s my mom has never met this guy and is basing everything on the fact that he's from a different race.
Please give me some advice and let me know if you need any more info.
I am in need of some advice regarding getting married to a person my parents don't accept.
I am a 20 year old female and recently I was approached by a guy who I am known for 4 years, we talked about marriage and decided we wanted to get married.
I did istikhara and thought about it for a long time and everything came out positive.
The guy I want to marry is a different culture to me and he became muslim a few months ago. He prays and is learning the Quran everyday. He is 21 years of age and Is going university this September ( I am in my 1st year university). He is a well mannered, lovely guy and I truly believe he is good for me. Marrying him will strengthen my iman and make me a better person. He works and so do it do we have more than enough money to live a happy and comfortable life till we graduate and find jobs.
The problem is when I told my mom about him she was so negative about it. Merely based on the fact that we're from 2 different cultures, she saying he's too young, his parents aren't Muslim and she's making assumptions such as he'll beat you up, he'll take your kids away if you divorce, he'll make you stop university and stay at home for the rest of your life, his parents will hate you (his parents love me and are very positive towards the idea of us getting married), family and friends will think less of me if I marry him and I'll bring shame on the family all because he's a different race.she is trying to push me into marrying someone from my own race and even said she'll give my number to a few suitors even after I have refused. I have 2 older brother who let my mom down and I am the oldest sister of 4 younger sibling I have always been the one helping out with the younger siblings and keeping the family going so I feel like my mom is just taking advantage now. I have fulfilled all my duties as a sister and a daughter and I feel like it's time for me to let go and start my life. I am very mature and understand that getting married is a very big step.
My moms done istikhara as well and said hers was negative but I read somewhere that someone else can't do istikhara for you because they don't understand the situation as well as you.
My Mom also said if I do go ahead with this then I'll have to call my dad and ask him myself she won't help me or talk to him for me and even if he says no then she'll disown me an move back to Africa and take the kids with her.
I don't know what else to do, I really want to marry this person because I feel like he's right for me in this Dunya and hereafter but at the same time I don't wanna give my mom any more trouble and disappoint her like my brothers and I don't want her moving away and leaving me here all alone. I don't know what else to do I'm very stuck.
P.s my mom has never met this guy and is basing everything on the fact that he's from a different race.
Please give me some advice and let me know if you need any more info.
