Parents

[Ummu Sufyaan]

can you show physical affection to your parents? in other words, do you have trouble with this? if yes, what do you think the reasons are?

what form of physical affection do you show to your parents? do you kiss/hug them? or is your definition of physical affection more along the lines of doing favors for them, buying gifts?

how should one go about showing physical affection to their parents (in the form of hugs and kisses)? is it a bad thing if someone cant hug and kiss their parents.

 

[xsmilesx]

I think it should come naturally to show affection for your parents in one way or another, you just have to figure out which way is easiest to you and which comes naturally. I'm sure showing physical affection does not outweigh any other. If your actions prove that you do love your parents, then that should be one box ticked?

For some people i have seen, it is not normal or "easy" for them to just go upto their parents (or any other family member) and just hug them or kiss them and this is usually because they are not used to it, they haven't been doing this most of their lives so it is just weird or awkward for that to happen.

I certainly do not think it is a bad thing if someone can't kiss and hug their parents... These two things are just symbols that represent affection lol.

 

[glo]

My mother was widowed when she was still quite young with two young children and a third on the way. For a long while we children were what kept her going.
I always feel quite close to my mum, but we don't necessarily show our affections in a physical way.

I was in Germany recently to stay with my mum because her second husband (my stepfather) has been very ill in intensive care for over 5 months. Some days he seems to improve, then he deteriorates again ...

One day he had been particularly bad and very restless, and my mother was distraught by the end of the day. After we got home from the hospital and had eaten our evening meal, she just cried and cried!
In the end there were no words left to console her, and I ended up just holding her and hugging her. I remember thinking how strange that felt, and that all my life she had been the one to hug and hold me - and now it was my time to hold her!

 

[Beardo]

If you can't hug your parents, then I would say there is a barrier that you need to overcome. It's just symbolic to your relationship itself. You have to be on physical affection with at least one of your parents.

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Well in my culture parents dont take much effort to hug or kiss their child. They obviously love you but they dont show it by words or physical affection.
For a long time I only kissed my parents on Eid, which is like twice a year (i know its bad..)
Upbringing in my culture is kinda very strictly business. In my teenage years I actually asked myself the question why my parents didnt.
So I started just giving them a kiss when i went to bed and all. I noticed it made them kinda happy, you could see the joy in their eyes. After a while i got bored with it;D
Now I just ask my mum for a hug when I have a hard time at school or work. There's nothing like a good mommy hug!
Anyways I know I will approach my children differently, do it with my little cousins (7 years and below) as well. I give them a hug or a kiss whenever I feel like it and they do the same.
Thats how it should be!

 

[Asiyah3]

can you show physical affection to your parents?

:wa:
As long as my friends aren't present :embarrass Just kidding.
Yes, hugging is ok, but kissing on cheeks is a bit weird (unless someone leaves the house).

in other words, do you have trouble with this?

Not really.

if yes, what do you think the reasons are?

I personally think that a child treats his/her parents the same way the parents treat them. In the same manner, because of that hugging is "normal", and kissing rare in my family.

what form of physical affection do you show to your parents? do you kiss/hug them?

I rarely hug my dad. Usually he hugs and kiss me. I sometimes might massage my mom's back, though the intention here isn't to 'become closer' to her. And I might hug her now and then.

or is your definition of physical affection more along the lines of doing favors for them, buying gifts?

In my family love is something self-clear. Like you know your parents love you even if they don't show that kinda affection. Instead of the words we hear on Hollywood 'honey, I love you', you often at most hear 'I missed you".

how should one go about showing physical affection to their parents (in the form of hugs and kisses)? is it a bad thing if someone cant hug and kiss their parents.

If a child can't hug and kiss their parents, I'd say their relationship is quite cold so yes.

 

[S<Chowdhury]

can you show physical affection to your parents? in other words, do you have trouble with this? if yes, what do you think the reasons are? .

Definitely gets harder as you get older to show affection towards parents, when you get to the stage of teenagers, you rarely show affection especially in guys its not a thing we are use to, I just feels awkward so rather avoid it. I'd agree with nashia that the love is there but we rarely show it physically apart from special occasion like Eid. But to me doesn't feel like i missing out on much i know they love me soo do i really need to be shown physically, personally No. Its more of woman thing really LOL ;D

 

[brotherubaid]

Kiss them on the head , just imagine how they will feel , specialy if they are old , when entering the house go to them n kis them on the head , when leaving the ghouse do the same , just imagine how much it will mean to them n how much duaa they will make for u, specially if in your culture or family no one does it , arabs do it all the time , they kiss the forehead n head in general of their parents. Its a beautiful thing

dont know why one should be shy about it m your prents are a GREAT way for your jannah , take the most advantage of this great opportunity while they are here with u , DID ANY ONE HEAR SHEIKH BUDIARS KHUTBAH FROM THE PROPHET SALA LAHU ALIHI WA SALLAMS MOSQUE THIS FRIDAY?

Speaking to them politely , nicely , smiling , being nice to them , these are all great deeds that most of us are missing on.

may Allah make me n all of us from thsoe who treat their parents as Allah and his messenger commands n those who take the most advantage of their presence by being nice to them and serving them and showing the affection.

may Allah help us

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

interesting replies...i do kiss and hug my mum when she is upset, etc/on eid...but no, not randomly im afraid she hugs me too actually when i give her gifts (i usually take that opportunity to show her physical affection which i cant do otherwise...its my excuse i guess)...thats the easiest way i can show my affection for her (which is a little disgraceful actually)...so yes indirectly is the way to go for me...again a little disgraceful.

any ideas how i can be nicer to my mum :hiding:

Kiss them on the head , just imagine how they will feel , specialy if they are old , when entering the house go to them n kis them on the head , when leaving the ghouse do the same , just imagine how much it will mean to them n how much duaa they will make for u, specially if in your culture or family no one does it , arabs do it all the time , they kiss the forehead n head in general of their parents. Its a beautiful thing

dont know why one should be shy about it m your prents are a GREAT way for your jannah , take the most advantage of this great opportunity while they are here with u , DID ANY ONE HEAR SHEIKH BUDIARS KHUTBAH FROM THE PROPHET SALA LAHU ALIHI WA SALLAMS MOSQUE THIS FRIDAY?

Speaking to them politely , nicely , smiling , being nice to them , these are all great deeds that most of us are missing on.

may Allah make me n all of us from thsoe who treat their parents as Allah and his messenger commands n those who take the most advantage of their presence by being nice to them and serving them and showing the affection.

may Allah help us

no i didnt, care to post it?

 

[Ansariyah]

I dont know wat I wud do if I cudnt physically show any effections towards my parents. Its natural for us 2 kiss good night, n early in the morning when we wake up both my parents are usually up first when I come down the stairs they kiss me on my forehead n I do the same thing for them. Honestly its such a blessing for me alhamdulilah.

I think its easier to show effection wen uve been raised wit effection urself...

theres nothing weird about showing effection.

 

[CosmicPathos]

I realize that serving my mother is my only ticket to seek God's forgiveness. So I try to kiss her on the forehead as much as I can and try to help her. Sometimes I get angry when she says something which I find stupid but I am working on that and I realize that is my fault because i should not find anything which she says to be stupid. Mine and her thinking should be one, unified, since the material and biological nature of my brain is related to her body.

For the first time in my life I am going to be living away from my mother for at least 4 years, inshAllah. Her value in my eyes will rise exponentially during this time ....

 

[glo]

I think receiving a hug from your child is a beautiful thing!

My son is a teenager now and finds it quite uncool to show his mum physical affection. But once in a while he gives me a hug and a kiss out of the blue - and that always means so much to me! Mostly because I know that when he does that he really wants to and it comes from his heart. That fills me with great joy!

 

[AhmadibnNasroon]

I hug and kiss my mom all the time. My sis does too, we can't help it, she's like 4'10" and so adorable, lol

 

[muslimahhhh]

If you can't hug your parents, then I would say there is a barrier that you need to overcome. It's just symbolic to your relationship itself. You have to be on physical affection with at least one of your parents.

^True say. I really show alot of physical affection to my mom (hug & kiss, or even brush her hairs) & emotional affection to both parents (always tell them how happy you are to have them as your parents & thanks Allah daily for having them).

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

I wish I gave them lots of hugs and kisses when I was a teenage. Give hugs and kisses while you can, you will never know when you would lose them.

I wish can give them hugs and kisses. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon. Ameen

 

[glo]

I wish I gave them lots of hugs and kisses when I was a teenage. Give hugs and kisses while you can, you will never know when you would lose them.

I wish can give them hugs and kisses. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon. Ameen

Have you lost your parents, sweet106? imsad

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

My mother, a month ago.
My Dad last year.

 

[glo]

My mother, a month ago.
My Dad last year.

I am so sorry to hear that!
It must be a really hard time for you.

May God keep your parents, and may he guide and comfort you.

 

[Insaanah]

My mother, a month ago.
My Dad last year.

sister,

Innaa lillahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji'oon. imsad

May Allah forgive them and have mercy on them, save them from the punishment of the grave, and bestow on them a place in Jannatul Firdous. Ameen.

May Allah grant you sabr and make you a means of sadaqatul jaariyah for them. Ameen.

 

[جوري]

ameen to the du3a.. may Allah swt make you steadfast on Iman dear sis