People need to be nicer to new muslims

[AnonymousPoster]

I am new to practicing islam and one thing that always bothered me and kept me away from it for a long time was the way i was treated by my fellow muslims. The area i live in, most of the muslims are asian or middle eastern or african. They did not welcome me in any way, in fact when i first tried to attend masjid, a group of pakistani girls picked on me. One of them picked on how i was dressed even though im sure it was proper, she just didnt think i was "stylish". I didnt have a shawlar kameez like they did, its not my culture so i didnt have any of that. i only had a long skirt and sweater and hijab.
another girl from that group told me since i dont know how to pray i should just go home and watch tv because theres no point in me going to masjid
i was going there to learn!
it made me very sad and hurt and i didnt go for a while after that, i stayed home and learned at home what i could...but i still wanted badly to meet fellow practicing muslims


now that im more confident in islam, i go to masjid, but still most the people there they dont try to talk to me they dont try to befriend me and it makes me sad. i try to smile and talk to some of the women there but they only reply a little and then ignore me and talk to the people they know.
this is no good! how am i gonna be able to feel good about being muslim if no muslim treats me good? its not nice!
last friday i went and i tried to talk to some of the girls my age, they started talking arabic to each other and i felt very uncomfortable, then they walked away to get ice cream and they did not invite me.
another time i went...i was asking a older women some questions and she was answering me pretty good but then she asked me some things to and when i answered her she would tell me i am a bad muslim girl and that i have a lot of work to do. why did she have to say i am bad? why cant she say that i have some work to do but she can help me...not make me feel like i am a lost cause!


i am not scary to look at, im a normal euro-american girl. my family is not religious but i want to be. i feel the need to be......but i cant do it alone, the community needs to be more welcoming to us new muslims. they need to support us better and teach us.

i am so sad to have iftar alone. and suhur....and eid all alone. imsad

my point is, please, if you see someone new at your masjid, welcome them. be kind to them and talk to them....they need you.

 

[cat eyes]

salaam sis ramadan mubarek don't worry i am your new friend now :statisfie and guess what i am revert also and it is hard to find the right friends i know what it feels like. loads of times i felt ignored but i always spoke up to feel included because my parents always pressured me..

it did work for a while but i found that i was attracting those older women with screaming babies haha wanting to know how i found islam...
i am sorry to hear your situation.. yeah there is muslims like that sis..they are not one bit friendly, i came by those girls also like i once was sitting in a group of girls at the masjid and one girl started telling me to come with black niqaab next time, i told her as far as i know its not compulsory to cover yourself infront of women.

and i was only new at that time just with simple hijab and then she starting talking about it to much with the other girls kinda hinting at me you know and one woman kept on boasting about how her husband was an arab and he was rich and stupid things like this.. she was to high and mighty to speak with me for a long time so sister i know what it feels like...

but now as i am getting older i am finding good friends through going to classes and learning about islam.. i am finding quite alot of pious girls alhamdulilah.

but sister if its to bad i would suggest you tell the imam thats over the masjid and tell him that they are alot of girls treating you badly and back biting then inshallaah he will give them all a lecture about the punishments in the grave about talking bad to your sister..

 

[markislam]

sister i am also a new muslim can you tell me from which place you are ?. the place where i go. the people are so helpfull.

 

[GuestFellow]

Asslamu Aliakum.

It is a good reminder. Sorry to hear other Muslims are not being friendly towards you. Even Muslims at my school were never kind to me. At the mosque I know other boys that tend to have a negative attitude towards me for no reason.

I would simply ignore them or like the sister Cats eye stated tell the Imam.

 

[TrueStranger]

Sorry to hear that sis. I don't go to the majid, but I went to MSA meetings few times. The Arabs mostly sat/talked with the Arabs, the Africans mostly sat/talked with the Africans, and the Asians sat/talked with the Asians.

It was sad, but I think it's just like any other group of people. We have to remember that they are not only Muslims, but people with different cultures and perspectives. Some people are loud, some sound rude, other seem like they are big headed. It's something that is ingrained in their culture. You've to see the cultural perspective as well as the person's character. Those people should be more open-minded when it comes to New Muslims.

A group of people kept complaining about the character or personality of a woman's child. The woman kindly reminded them that she "gave birth to a child, not the personality of the child". We all have our own personality (good or bad) forgive them dear.

May Allah reward you with pious friends. :statisfie

:wa:

 

[Rasema]

Pray for them so Allah changes their hearts. Kids can be cruel.

Arabs in school(public) welcomed me the most.

 

[nebula]

sis sorry to hear about how ur being treated by ur fellow muslim sisters at ur masjid, those sisters shouldnt be acting like this they should fear Allah. A muslim rasied person is no better then a reverted muslim.

Stay strong inshAllah, if your going through problems like this then look at it in a positive way. Like think that Allah thinks highly of you that he would give you difficulties that he knows you can handle.

2:286. Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. "Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us (Jews and Christians); our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Maulâ (Patron, Suppor-ter and Protector, etc.) and give us victory over the disbelieving people."


go through these articles, its a useful site inshAllah: http://understand-islam.net/site/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=151&Itemid=28

 

[Humbler_359]

I agreed. From what I see, people tend to MIX between culture and religion. They think, culture is part of religion which including behavior, dress, attitudes, and no respect. It is absolutely wrong. It seems to them, culture is more important than the Islamic ways. :hmm:

Apart from cultures, people should remember to respect others same treat as brothers and sisters. Most of them ending up for negative behaviors from the influences of cultures. Parents' responsibles is teach young generation between Islam vs their own cultures. No mixed!

I assure you, you will find truly Muslims anywhere. Please don't get upset from this wrong impressions.

 

[zakirs]

Sorry for whats happening to you sis.May Allah help you in finding better muslims and friends.They are not following the traditions of prophet pbuh when they dont greet the strangers with respect and smile.Remember sis as long as you have your imaan you need not fear or feel bad.And i guess the old woman said so because they come from completely different back grounds, they might have their own different cultures or beliefs.


Ramadan mubarak sis.

Prophet Muhammad SAW in his last sermon said “No Arab is superior to a non-Arab and no non-Arab is superior to an Arab. No black man is superior to a red man and no red man is superior to a black, except through taqwa (fear of God). Indeed the noblest among you is the one who is deeply conscious of God.”

 

[cat eyes]

i think everybody needs to leave there culture on the doorstep outside of the mosque and don't bring it in doors with them! and they should leave there ignorance there also! the imam at my masjid over here is very STRICT.. he don't take none of this nonsense and if he sees something he don't like he will say it out loud in front of anybody.... personally i am not suprized.. its america after all! there is bound to be a load of bad eggs everywher you go

 

[zakirs]

And to add something else.. i believe in the current world converts/reverts are amongst the best of Muslims because they were guided by Allah to his faith.And they used their reasoning to find out the truth.

Indeed they deserve more respect

 

[Rasema]

I think that because you just are becoming a strong Muslim Allah,spw, wants to test you. The incident witht he hijab is good for you to discover that you wear it in the name of Allah and not to cause attention or anything like that.

You probably feel as if no one is like you. Let me quote a hadeeth, I don't remembet its chain, but here I go:
"ISLAM BEGAN AS SOMETHING NEW AND STRANGE AND IT SHALL RETURN TO BEING AS NEW AND STRANGE,SO GIVE GLAD TIDINGS TO THE STRANGERS."

You're a stranger, a passanger on this world, so sis, be kind no matter what they tell you.Unity in Islam is important no matter where you're from. I love my brothers and sisters from Middle East because they fight for what is theirs. Islam is a religion of humanity and unity. We don't judge eachother because someone has called us this and that, we look at eachother as Muslims no matter what they tell you and no matter how sinful we are. If they do clear forbidden things, It's a different story. I'd say avoid them who do.

 

[mathematician]

salamu 'alaykum sister,

First, don't forget that there are few good muslims out there. Yes many people go to the mosque, but even from those that go to the mosque few of them are good muslims.

Also, young people tend to be inconsiderate. Yeah, unfortunately even young muslims tend to be inconsiderate. After all, they are young right?

Be patient, but most importantly, remember the Allah is the Most Wise. So look for the blessings that will insha'Allah come from your situation. By Allah, there is much good in it. I don't know what it is, but it's now up to you to praise Allah and look for the hidden treasures He places in difficult situations.

May Allah ta'ala make you and us among the Righteous. Ameen.

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Can we stay on topic please, theres no need to debate whether Arabs are better muslims or not or whatever it is you guys are debating, frankly it doesnt matter.

The point of this thread is great, im glad someone spoke up about it. I go through this at my masjid with some of the people my age. I sit with this old Lebanese women, she was the first to talk to me, i love her like a grandmother. She teaches me so much.

As for the young girls. Rarely do i see girls my age there, the few that i see, tend to move in packs, like wolves, i steer clear of them unless im introduced by someone i know that knows them. Its like entering a lions den for someone who is not of the same culture. It really is difficult. Thankfully in the past couple of years, there has been an influx of americans, bosnians, albanians etc in that masjid i go to and it has made a world of difference.


The people who treat me the best are the reverts/converts. They are the kindest to me. Im not even a revert, i was born and raised muslim, but did not start practicing until i was about 15 or so due to various reasons. When i did start practicing, i was the oldest kid in the sunday school at the masjid. I got picked on, made fun of, laughed at, pointed at, stared at, insulted etc. My brothers too. In fact, they laughed at my oldest brother so much he stopped going to the sunday school. He refused to go back, they made him feel that bad.

Subhanallah ... may God guide those who behave badly because it is pointless if you go to masjid and you pray and you fast if you do not make people feel welcomed to Islam.
It is a very real and a very big issue in the Islamic community across the country here in the U.S. People need to be kinder and gentler. They need to behave like one big family, and not like a clique.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

SubhanAllah sis, I'm sorry for what you're having to put up with and it's a good reminder to everyone InshaAllah. If I ever met you, I'd love to be your friend :statisfie.

I've never liked the idea of people sitting within their own race/group and it's not something to be proud of. Those people need a serious reality check and they shouldnt preach what they do not practice. Please do not let them stop you from going to the Masjid. A Masjid isn't meant to be labeled with a certain nationality etc. Just remember it's a place to go to worship Allah(swt). Them behaving like this, they're going against Islam since not competing in race except taqwa is allowed. If the ysay anything, remind them that when Islam came, the followers, Sahabas, any Muslim there were basically reverts. So them looking down on you would mean they're making fun of all the Muslims who embraced Islam at the time of the Prophet(saw). As for them also bragging about their status, the first Muslims that were attracted by Islam were poor and oppressed themselves. It's because of what Islam gave them, that they embraced it's beauty.

All the best sister and remember there are still very good Muslims out there. If they do not do their part, Allah will have no problem in replacing them. Lastly I'd like to applaud you for not letting it deter you from Islam :wub:

 

[Tony]

the community needs to be more welcoming to us new muslims. they need to support us better and teach us.

i am so sad to have iftar alone. and suhur....and eid all alone.

my point is, please, if you see someone new at your masjid, welcome them. be kind to them and talk to them....they need you.

100% agree with you, but the Ummah are mere ppl, they change by example so as new muslims we should use our passion and zeal for Islam to wake some of our brothers and sisters into action, we are the ones who can understand and help other newcomers the most. May Allah guide you to the straight path and keep you on it, Ameen. And welcome to Islam sister

 

[blackbeard88]

i know the feeling, i know it all too well, we have muslim student association at my university. they were showing a movie called occupation 101 about the whole palestinian situation. anyway, i really wanted to see the movie and so i went down to the "pilot house" it's a place in the cafeteria, a huge room where different organizations gather and hold events. so when i got there, this guy comes up to me and starts asking me questions like are you muslim? i said no and then it went downhill from there because then he started saying things like oh then why are you here and what are you doing coming to "our" movie night. just a whole bunch of stupid questions then he turned and left and went back to his table of friends and then they looked over at me and burst out laughing. like i was a weird clown or something...not a good example to set for outsiders who might have been curious about islam and what they stood for.

it just gave me a very negative view of muslims in general. then when i introduced myself to one girl who looked nice, she rolled her eyes and said her name and then whispered to a friend that this (talking to me) was soo embarrassing! i felt really bad, i left, i didn't stay, my mother told me after i told her about it, that it was because i wasn't "like them" or "one of them" so therefore, they felt i had no business being there. it just fulfills the stereotypes of muslims, that they are harsh, cold, distant, uncaring and violent. and i'm sorry for what you went through but then you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? is this where you feel you most belong? is this what you truly believe in and want to become? sometimes it's always good to "explore" other faiths out there before committing to just one.

just something to think about.....that's all.