People who "love" to dominate every conversation

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Ansariyah

Ansariyah

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:sl:

I am dealing with a certain individual who loves to dominate every conversation we have. Keeps talking like there is no tomorrow, gives u no chance to give any feedback, just expects u to sit there n listen. Even when u say things like "oh I am sick today" instead of giving u words of comfort and wish u well this person will say instead: "ohh I am sick too, I have the most horrible pain in my eye"..

So we basically keep talking about the eye. Just dont get it. Like even when u are surfing the net etc n ur doing ur homework this person will just keep on talking in the background, even when it knows that u are busy n really cant turn around.

So I end up stopping wat im doing and keep looking at this person and try to listen, but it never stops.

I dont want to crush the feelings of this person and tell them how I truly feel, and it is well a person whos a bit older then me by only a few years...I hate to come across as disrespectful.

I try to be there and just listen but it bores me and I feel stuck. This person is family that I love and care for. If it was someone else I wudve been a bit more straight forward, or just exited the darn building.

I hate to disappoint this person and make them feel like I dont want to listen or that I am not interested in what they have to say, but thats all there is "listen"..If I try to say something it starts with the begining of a word like Ye and before I even add the "a" to yeah..I get interupted and this individul jst keeps on talking.

I dont know wat to do..I feel saddened.
 
:sl:

actually, i know how you feel ukhti
i have to put up with a friend who likes to do that, only im afraid im equally competitive when it comes to dominating conversations, May Allah help me to keep my gob shut.Ameen.

the thing is, when i talk people dont give out a bored reaction, so i assume all is well, and they might want me to shut up LOL. :D (hope not!)

so thats the problem, this person has no idea how annoying he/she is, simply because of the complacent reaction he/she gets!.It may sound a tiny bit mean, but make out as if your that bit bored LOL.

Also, what i find would be most effective and very benificial at the same time, would be to get some sisters together and do a talk on the vices of talking too much. :)

hope thats helped :D

:w:
 
:sl:

Sister, you have no other choice but to tell this person to ease up a bit. You don't have to come off as disrespectful or rude, just use polite words and tell the person to please stop talking. Especially if you are busy with work. By keeping quiet you let this person distract you and control you by always taking your attention. Everybody has a right to their own time and personal space. Inshallah you will get some courage to let this person know. All the best :)

Peace
:w:
 
I think you'll just have to be a bit more clear - soemtimes people are just oblivious to our signals. You might want to just tell them "sorry, I don't have the time to talk right now". If you're talking and they take over, perhaps you can just keep chiming in with whatever you want to talk about. One trick people use is to wait until they take a breath and say "getting back to what I was saying...". It might come across as a bit odd, but the person may get the message.

I know one person like this, but then again he's a know-it-all who loves to hear himself talk and who often makes innapropriate comments... I'd love to tell him to just shut his pie hole but I can't say it like that as I'm friends with his girlfriend (that's the only reason why I tolerate him). Oh, the things we put up with for the people we care about and love.
 
Some people with loud voices do that, and ones with more quiet/soft voice get talked over. but im sure everyone has experienced this...best thing to do is say''okay can i speak now?'' ''listen to me'' or what was mentioned in the above post just to make the person that he/she isnt the only one in the convo

I have to say it is quite funny sometimes aswell, when someone tries to say something but all he can get out is sound effects.
 
Sahabiyaat said:
, May Allah help me to keep my gob shut.Ameen.
Click to expand...

:salamext:

^^ and me too ...Ameen! :-[

Ahem, ask sis Serene what I'm like on the fone :-[ I sometimes forget to take a break to breathe :-[

But erm...I dont really have any good advice...but how about you play them at their own game? Do the same thing and they might back down :D

WassalamuAlaykum
 
tnx guys..but I dont know bout this nemore.
Today I told the person that I have a bad headache and all I got was this "ohh me too, I have a headache too."

LOL...I ended up getting all worried bout the persons headache nd mine was all long forgotten...:-[

Most people in our Family, find this individual very funny (the responses)..and ROFL..but it actually hurts me.

Well, I guess, I jst gotta suck it up. I cant say how I feel, cause this person doesnt even see it. I feel like wats the point of confronting nd maybe this person might get upset.:(..oh and imagine we'll have to talk about hours n hours how this person got hurt by my words maybe.:-[
 
Haha, everyone has experienced this I guess.

Be like me, grab their earlobs or head or hands and stare in their eyes with determination and tell them I WANT TO SPEAK SO SHUT UP. Do it with love, not angry voice... And if they try to say something just say shhhhhhhhh!

If it's an very old individual, just bite your tongue, smile and listen. :skeleton:

If they go "Oh I've got an heachache too" you say "*insert nice word* Can't you comfort me a bit before ranting about your headache?" you grin and smile and it should do it. Don't worry too much about hurting their feelings, you obviously won't, you seem very caring mashaAllah.
 
JσℓιєFℓєυя;987510 said:
:salamext:

^^ and me too ...Ameen! :-[
Click to expand...

Ameen Summa Ameen x10000 :p

Ahem, ask sis Serene what I'm like on the fone :-[ I sometimes forget to take a break to breathe :-[
Click to expand...

Yup :skeleton:

But erm...I dont really have any good advice...but how about you play them at their own game? Do the same thing and they might back down :D
Click to expand...

You don't give them a chance *smacks forehead*

But hey it's kool, gives the other person a chance to relax :D
 
MaiCarInMtl said:
I think you'll just have to be a bit more clear - soemtimes people are just oblivious to our signals. You might want to just tell them "sorry, I don't have the time to talk right now". If you're talking and they take over, perhaps you can just keep chiming in with whatever you want to talk about. One trick people use is to wait until they take a breath and say "getting back to what I was saying...". It might come across as a bit odd, but the person may get the message.

I know one person like this, but then again he's a know-it-all who loves to hear himself talk and who often makes innapropriate comments... I'd love to tell him to just shut his pie hole but I can't say it like that as I'm friends with his girlfriend (that's the only reason why I tolerate him). Oh, the things we put up with for the people we care about and love.
Click to expand...

LMBO!!!!!!!
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
thats hilarious about how to wait for them to take a breath and your friend boyfriend.

Masha'Allah one of my bro in laws is like him I pray Allah swt bestows Jannah upon him and blesses him with many bkessings Insha'Allah but Oh-My-Gosh!!!
once he starts there is just no stopping, interrupting or ending it!
but bless him, he means well though and we have through my sister of course tried to get the message through but man he just does not seem to get it.

lollllllll! so now its come to the point where if he is in the dinning room and everyone is sitting down and he starts everyone maks excuses to use the loo and exits there's 2 loos in our house imagine 5 people needing it at the same time LOL! but still he dont get it... so he is just left there with the little kids who dont even uderstand what he is on about.
 
I saw one of my friends deal with a talk too much elder lady once and it really impressed me.

She took her hand and said " listen to me now sister,I also have something to say"

And everyone was happy. Bless her!
 
ow lol sis your sweet :D

but i think you need to keep trying to get the msg across and enshalah the person will understand..on day

you dont have to say it at onc..its good if you could but maybe drop little subtle hints..[but i guess if she just keeps talking she may not get :S]

errr...yeh but try nehow....:)
 
I never meet so talkative person :-[ but i think i would say somewthing related to home work
 
Maybe next time you get a "headache", you can just go one and on and on and on about it so she can't interject with her own "headache"... Or just tell her "I have a headache, and only YOU can make it worse". j/k, no that's mean... You can think it, but don't say it.

My mother's biological mother is a real chatter. My mother was over visiting her a few weeks back for a week and she just couldn't believe it! The woman has an opinion on everything (even though she may know nothing of the situation), nags constantly and always has to win fights/arguments. My mom even told me that it gets so bad to the point that:
a) she gets chapped lips because her mouth is so dry and she can't drink enough water to keep her mouth hydrated
b) she froths at the mouth (yes, like a rabid person!!!).

I know I can be a major chatterbox at times, but God help me should I ever be THAT bad!
 
This happens to me with my younger sister, she just doesnt shut up, goes from one topic to the next, at the end im like so what were u talkin bout again? But in my situation i just tell her to SHUT UPPPPPPPP and i can get away with it LOL
 
Just talk to him/her about it in a nice way. Otherwise it seems like it's not going to stop any time soon.
 

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