:bism:
I think I answered it in the beginning lines of the post.
It is obvious you can not improve overnight.
I think that for you, the major obstacles are "great poverty, lack of time, harsh communist parents, not beeing married".
It is normal under such conditions, even if among best muslims not to feel good.
Some reference:
https://hadithanswers.com/poverty-and-kufr-disbelief/
I do not know a way put for you except a lot of dua and dhikr as in the post above, in the process of improvement in deen and dunya.
Maybe you need to move to another place and get a job or marry.
It takes you if really, really slow, an half hour to recite 100x.
Additional dhikr and duas are needed in addition to ruqya you read.
You must increase the nawafil.
Please tell me your recitation plan if you have any.
For now on, my advice is to recite as in abpve post and Manzil after every salat. That is enough insha Allah.
That is at most 3 hours daily, spread over 24 hours.
If it is to hard for you, then 100x.
Thanks brother. I'm not poor, I'm working online and earning salary. I just can't afford to buy so many stuff you told me to, probably because those are much cheaper where you live than here.
I have a raqi and everything is going good. There are days or weeks when everything is so perfect and smooth. But as soon as I get better, I minimize my ruqyah thinking sihir is over, of course I understood now that it was a shaytan's trick. Now I'm back to it. And I felt stuff with waswasas starting when I started regularly with Bakarah and much improving my deen, like daily bringing something new, like extra ibadah, extra good deeds... Obviously that's what makes shaytan panicking and then attacking me with these ideas.
I don't want to go too transparent about me, my life etc here in forum, for forum is for anonymous people.
As for Muslims around me, it's also getting better. I discovered some people might turned to Allah and I'm trying to get more and more in contact with other Muslims for I must do my best not to be alone and surround myself with believers. As I didn't manage to get information from our Islamic centers whether I can come to mosque without praying matt, and no one knew this, Allah arranged it for me, I went to the mosque finally after 2019. So this all is improving alhamdulillah.
I don't have to move anywhere, I believe these things will be sorted out inshaAllah, I just need to keep doing my best.
I don't know where you are and how's winter time over there, but here where I am (Europe), daily prayer times switch quickly. If I'd recite all that after every salaat, my working time would be over and we, Muslims, have to balance Dunya and AKhirah. So I have weekends for that and After Isha and Fajr.
Besides my ruqyah, I do make duas from Quran and Sunnah, I recite Quran regularly and memorizing it, and whenever possible doing many other stuff, including preparing for next Ramadan.
And again, it's not about what I do, it's about shaytan's reaction and me needing to read and repeat out loud the truth for Allah is very Generous, Merciful, Caring and shaytan tries to scare us. In my mind I'm aware that we can't perform Hajj today, nor give 50 sadaqas a day, nor spend hours repenting for making a mistake with telling about something which could have small amount of false information... I believe if I'd do all that things at the same time, I'd break and lose my imaan. That's probably shaytan's plan.
That's why I'm asking everyone to quote sunnah, Quran etc here, where I can come and re-read it again at the same place. Now I'm ok. Brother Labayk wrote some important things and Allah helped me find many other stuff online.
And I'm highly educated, I have Master degree in law
.