Physically unattractiveness

[M.I.A.]

The answer is simple my friend.

Get married to someone that does not call you ugly!

Leave ugly looking in through the window.. Don't open the door for it again.

Or get a blind friend to tell you which one to marry.

DD


...actually i take it back

Have patience and perseverance.

Allah swt raises and lowers as he wills.

 

[uglyman]

The answer is simple my friend.

Get married to someone that does not call you ugly!

Leave ugly looking in through the window.. Don't open the door for it again.

Or get a blind friend to tell you which one to marry.

DD


...actually i take it back

Have patience and perseverance.

Allah swt raises and lowers as he wills.

Your real name is Eddy Murphy isn't it? Well regarding leaving ugly outside my house is not a problem at all. But the moment I set a step on my porch ugly entraps me like a spider web entraps unsuspecting passant. Ugly is always lurking on me waiting to take advantage of meimsad

 

[ardianto]

Your real name is Eddy Murphy isn't it? Well regarding leaving ugly outside my house is not a problem at all. But the moment I set a step on my porch ugly entraps me like a spider web entraps unsuspecting passant. Ugly is always lurking on me waiting to take advantage of meimsad

Do not call yourself ugly, just describe yourself as not handsome like many other people.

 

[Scimitar]

has the Op considered marrying an "ugly" woman? can he see the beauty within her? has he experimented with his own thought processes and shunned his own hypocrisy?

If he feels so hard done by people who call him ugly, surely he can empathise with other "ugly" people, and so, make one his wife? if not - would he be instead, entertaining an hypocrisy within himself?

Why has he not considered these thoughts? is it because he is too caught up in his own ego?

Scimi

 

[Scimitar]

Your real name is Eddy Murphy isn't it? Well regarding leaving ugly outside my house is not a problem at all. But the moment I set a step on my porch ugly entraps me like a spider web entraps unsuspecting passant. Ugly is always lurking on me waiting to take advantage of meimsad

you playing the poor victim is stupid, grow a back bone will ya? you made this thread, invited a conversation and when people speak their mind, you act like a spoilt brat? who do you think you are? get a grip on yourself man. 38 acting 18 my word.


if MIA is Eddy Murphy, you are the grinch and the hunchback of notre dame rolled into one. People in glass houses throwing stones, oof the hypocrisy. reap what you sow kid.

Scimi

 

[uglyman]

if MIA is Eddy Murphy, you are the grinch and the hunchback of notre dame rolled into one. People in glass houses throwing stones, oof the hypocrisy. reap what you sow kid.

Scimi

Salaam brother why do you attack me on my honesty? Know you have shown your real face by calling me Grinch and hunchback of the Notre Dame. Why do you use such harsh words after I have taken a huge step in revealing my story? You actually using my pain and suffering to insult me and to throw dirt in my face and calling me spoilt brat!

 

[uglyman]

if MIA is Eddy Murphy, you are the grinch and the hunchback of notre dame rolled into one. People in glass houses throwing stones, oof the hypocrisy. reap what you sow kid.

Scimi

I will give you a thumb down for this post but can't find it anywhere so THUMB DOWN:hiding:

 

[Scimitar]

Brother - people on this thread have given you advise after reding your heart touching OP - but once they posted, you tooko the wrong end of their proverbial post and continued to rant off against well established members as if they had nothing but ill intent towards you - are you even feeling ok? Obviously not. You are clearly hypocritical in your posts and often lash out towards those who would wish you well - yet when someone like me points out the flaws in your thinking processes, suddenly I am attacking you? All I did was expose your own hypocrisy here for you to consider, sit back, and mull over.

I also posted something which got totally ignored by you, namely this:

has the Op considered marrying an "ugly" woman? can he see the beauty within her? has he experimented with his own thought processes and shunned his own hypocrisy?

If he feels so hard done by people who call him ugly, surely he can empathise with other "ugly" people, and so, make one his wife? if not - would he be instead, entertaining an hypocrisy within himself?

Why has he not considered these thoughts? is it because he is too caught up in his own ego?

why you get so hung up on silly things? why don't you concentrate on the meat of the posts? the worthy aspect which can help you to understand your own unique problems? LOOK - look at that quote i put in this post, and consider it... because in another thread there is a girl who considers herself ugly too - why not approach her if marriage is something you want to fulfil? she is alone, so are you, and you are both kindred spirits in that regard. I'm not your enemy - you are. Fix up.

Scimi

 

[ardianto]

The reason why I urge the OP to change his username is because I don't want to call him with that name and I don't want other people call him with that name too.

I don't want to call anyone as ugly because my fear to Allah, because my grateful for what Allah has given to me. Allah has given me something that made me easy to get someone in the time when I was looking for a wife. I was in position which the girls tried to get me. It could be happen because one cause, ... I am a good looking man.

Live as good looking man made me have sympathy for people who are not as lucky as me because I could see injustice that happen toward them. I often see people insult my friends just because they are far from handsome, while at the same time people praise me.

I could feel what my friends felt, I can feel what the OP feel. The OP is victim of injustice that happen in society.

We could not choose where and from who we would be born. I did not choose to become good looking, but Allah made it happen. Other people did not choose to become far from beautiful, but Allah made it happen.

So please, do not ever insult anyone as ugly because this is same as you insult a taqdeer that has decided by Allah. If you want to insult someone, you can insult me.

 

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum,


(smile) Do you mind if I call you Abdul Musawwir instead? The reason for this is that our Prophet (SAWS) would change the names of people if they were not positive names. To have a negatively evocative name is not Islamic. (smile) People talk much about what is an Islamic name or not, but the truth is that what is important is that the name have a positive, yet not exaggerated or limit-crossing, meaning. Al-Musawwir is one of the Names of Allah. Perhaps you know it. It means: the Fashioner of Forms. (smile) To be the servant of the One Who Fashioned you would be an acceptance of your outwardly form, while affirming the Beauty of His Creation.

(smile) Because there is beauty. (mildly) Still, I feel there is a pain in you which is distorting your perception. I do understand that when you feel pain inside, the Light that comes in may be refracted, and misunderstood. (mildly) When I read Muhammad's first post, I perceived that he was trying to tell you about your inner beauty. But you perceived it differently, through the lens of your experiences.

You are very right. It is hard to be unattractive. (mildly) It is also hard to be old. Alone. Ill. Different. Poor. Addicted to something… (mildly) And you know, physical beauty is no guarantee that you will be treated well or that you will be happy. Especially for women, being beautiful can mean that corrupt men will want to possess you, and perhaps even use you to earn them money or other benefits from other men. And looks don't last… so even those Blessed and enjoying themselves in youth, may end up crashing in middle age. (smile) But probably you've heard this all before? And even knowing these things does not fully ease the pain. Still, we need to look at this truth. It does make a difference. Because if we can transcend our own pain and universalize it, we can learn empathy. (smile) And empathy is the soil out of which compassion, love and kindness grow. And these are things that bring us closer to Allah.

Still, we look for ways to ease this pain. As we should. Allah does not Expect us to seek hardship. Legendary suggested laughing at yourself. Ardianto felt this was not a positive thing. (mildly) I would suggest that it may be a strategy to help. (smile) I will give you an example. I arrived as an immigrant in Canada when I was nearly 14. I had a funny accent, I was awkward and I didn't behave as the popular kids did. So, just as I was at an age most desperate to fit in... I was massively teased, instead. It felt pretty awful. But then one day, when I was nearly 18, someone told me "You're weird!" for the n-th time in my life, in a really nasty voice...and something clicked. In the middle of the school library, I went down on my knees with my arms raised and declaimed loudly "Yes! I am weird! And I'm so happy to be weird! It means that I am unique and different! Oh thank you! Thank you!" (smile) The young woman was so startled and embarrassed (because yes, people were looking), she didn't know what to say. And she never bothered me again. And after that, each time someone said something about me being weird or different, I would smile hugely and say: "Yes! Thank you! I love being weird!" And within a pretty short period of time, people stopped saying this. (smile) And I made friends with some other "weird" people. And my life got much brighter.

I'm not sure if this would be termed "laughing at" yourself, but I wondered if this is what Legendary meant. (smile) And I thought I would offer it to you, in the hope it might give you some ideas that could ease you a little.


(smile) Anyway, I don't know if this helps you at all, Abdul-Musawwir, but I am pleased to make your acquaintance. If you can share some Light with us through this Forum, this would be a Blessing, indeed. And this is what counts for me. (smile) And perhaps for others in this wide world of ours.


May Allah, the Gentle, Help us to find ways to be good to one another.

 

[M.I.A.]

See op, just argue with people until you find your soul mate..

I'm kidding but only just.

All things seem to be a way of conveying what we believe in and who we are

As long as you don't lose sight of that then you can better represent yourself.

 

[ardianto]

Still, we look for ways to ease this pain. As we should. Allah does not Expect us to seek hardship. Legendary suggested laughing at yourself. Ardianto felt this was not a positive thing. (mildly) I would suggest that it may be a strategy to help.

Assalamualaikum, sister.

There is difference between ridiculed because something that is our choice, and being ridiculed because something that is not our choice. I often enough being called "weird" by people, but I always laugh because I indeed, have unique personality which is my own choice.

But if someone being ridiculed because his/her physical appearance?.

Birth is destiny that no one can choose. I am sure, if people could destine their own birth, they would choose to be born as good looking people because it's true, good looking people treated better by the others, while unattractive people often treated worse. This is the reality that I have felt and I have seen.

The unattractive people are human too who have heart, have feeling. They do not expect to be treated in special way, they just want to be treated same like other people. But what other people do toward them?. We can see it in the OP's first post.

If they could choose their birth, they would choose to be born as people with better physical appearance. But they could not choose. This is why they often ask in their heart "why I born like this?". I know that they cry in their hearts when other people ridicule them although they hide it. They can hide their cry, but I can see it in their eyes.

Yes, I don't see positive thing if the OP make a joke of himself because it will make people always insult him. But I see positive thing if he can build his personality.

I have few friends who are far from handsome, but they be liked by people because their attractive personalities. So I am not surprised if there were women who interested to marry them.

Build his attractive personality. This is the advice that I give to the OP.

 

[uglyman]

I also posted something which got totally ignored by you, namely this:


Scimi[/COLOR]

Salaam brother I think you don't read my posts at all! If you had indeed read my posts you had an answer to your so called 'proposed' suggestions!

Again I made a huge step by revealing my story and you suddenly accuse me of hypocrisy? You should think twice or trice before accusing someone and using the same harsh words that I would received from individuals that are only concerned for themselves. This type of individuals always claim to be outspoken morality minded, but in reality they are far from it and don't mind to hurt the feelings from their own brethren.

 

[uglyman]

Build his attractive personality. This is the advice that I give to the OP.

Dear brother you touched my heart and the hearts that like me are in great need of understanding their difficulties that they are always confronted with namely being physically unattractive. Please don't underestimate this dilemma because only individuals like you who have encountered this in real-life whereas by themselves or observed it by their 'ugly' friends can testify that I speak the truth.

There is nothing more confronting than being called ugly all your life on something you want to use to attracted the opposite sexes and to live a happy life. You can't joke with your appearance because this is your way to success i.e. ticket to marriage and attaining Barakah. So making fun of someone's appearance for the sake to be exhumed from humiliation is a bad idea hence it will only make someone more desperate.

 

[Scimitar]

Salaam brother I think you don't read my posts at all! If you had indeed read my posts you had an answer to your so called 'proposed' suggestions!

Again I made a huge step by revealing my story and you suddenly accuse me of hypocrisy? You should think twice or trice before accusing someone and using the same harsh words that I would received from individuals that are only concerned for themselves. This type of individuals always claim to be outspoken morality minded, but in reality they are far from it and don't mind to hurt the feelings from their own brethren.

brother, you have not answered the question i am asking you - I am asking you direct here and now:

WILL YOU MARRY AN UGLY WOMAN?

it's a closed question, I only require a YES or NO answer... play ball, don't be a pain in your own thread.

Scimi

 

[ardianto]

Dear brother you touched my heart and the hearts that like me are in great need of understanding their difficulties that they are always confronted with namely being physically unattractive. Please don't underestimate this dilemma because only individuals like you who have encountered this in real-life whereas by themselves or observed it by their 'ugly' friends can testify that I speak the truth.

There is nothing more confronting than being called ugly all your life on something you want to use to attracted the opposite sexes and to live a happy life. You can't joke with your appearance because this is your way to success i.e. ticket to marriage and attaining Barakah. So making fun of someone's appearance for the sake to be exhumed from humiliation is a bad idea hence it will only make someone more desperate.

Salam, brother.

I do not underestimate your dilemma. I know, it's very hard for you to smile when someone ridicules you. But this is what you should do if you want people stop ridicule you. If you are not dare to make a change, then there will be no change.

Brother, please, do not always thinking that if you are physically unattractive, then people will not like you. You are wrong. There are people who physically unattractive, but they are be liked by other people because their attractive personalities. They always kind and friendly to other people. My friends, for example. Yes, I learn much from my friends, and my advice to build your attractive personality is based from my friends success.

I understand if you feel your life is hard. But, try not to surrender, bro. Try to smile as the first step in making the big change in your life.

Brother, will you smile at me?. Please reply this post and use smile emoticon if you decide to give me your smile.

 

[ardianto]

brother, you have not answered the question i am asking you - I am asking you direct here and now:

WILL YOU MARRY AN UGLY WOMAN?

it's a closed question, I only require a YES or NO answer... play ball, don't be a pain in your own thread.

Scimi

My brother Scimi, for what purpose you ask this question to the OP?. And why you call other people as ugly?.

I am familiar with experience when women call me handsome. But I never insult anyone as ugly because I understand their feeling.

 

[Scimitar]

bro ardianto, I am simply appealing to the OP's logic. nothing more, nothing less.... he really should answer the question if he is genuine.

Scimi

 

[M.I.A.]

TFW OP becomes rich lol.

I'm kidding OP..

Become a doctor

 

[ardianto]

bro ardianto, I am simply appealing to the OP's logic. nothing more, nothing less.... he really should answer the question if he is genuine.

Scimi

But you must understand the OP psychological condition. He always bullied by people and it makes him being sensitive.

Bro, if you ask that question to me, calmly I could answer "If I love her, why not?", but OP regard that question as a form of bullying because that question is indeed, one form of bullying that experienced by people like the OP. I understand if you didn't realize it, but I know it because I observe what happen in society.

People like OP do not expect to get beautiful spouse. They will be grateful if they can find women who can accept them although these women are far from beautiful. But statement like "Since you are ugly, you should marry the ugly too" will make them feel dumped from the society. Feel dumped from society, this is what makes them suffer.

My brother, please try to learn to understand other people's feeling.