planning

[~TwinklingStar~]

and no i will not have kids with all of them and in a way i will be only haveing 1 wife becouse the are rest back home and are islamicly correct and it doesnt take to much to please them (in money terms) and they not influenced by the west and yes i do agrea that haveing 4 wives here will be difficult but back home its a peace of cake

This is Immaturity at its highest...Misinterpretatting the laws of Allah to suit ur own whims & fancies.

You're supposed to treat all your wives EQUALLY !!!

1. You are required to spend equal time with each one of your wives..if you're only going to live with one & be a vacation husabnd to the other 3, you'll be answerable to Allah for your injustice in treating your wives inequally.

2. You're not going to have kids with all of them...meaning you're going to deny 3 women the right to children , which again is a sin.

3. You think women back home only need money, not love, affection & care of a husband... ohh, you poor misguided soul.

Marriage is NOT a joke...It has to be taken very very seriously. Imo, you're not even capable of being a husband to one, let alone four.

 

[S_87]

and no i will not have kids with all of them and in a way i will be only haveing 1 wife becouse the are rest back home and are islamicly correct and it doesnt take to much to please them (in money terms) and they not influenced by the west and yes i do agrea that haveing 4 wives here will be difficult but back home its a peace of cake

ok where the hell is 'back home' and why in the world are you going to mary 3 women from 'back home' when you have no intention of even being a husband to them? that is such a crap idea and are you trying to say that 'back home' people are not 'influenced by the west' because HA HA HA.
Women are women wherever they are and NO its not a piece of cake.

Please concentrate on your school work because i dont think youre a day older than 14.

glo- no he doesnt need her permission

 

[glo]

glo- no he doesnt need her permission

I see.

Would the husband be required to tell each wife about the others ... or could he have 4 wives without each of them knowing about each other?

 

[convert]

I see.

Would the husband be required to tell each wife about the others ... or could he have 4 wives without each of them knowing about each other?

hypothetically he could. practically, it would be neither easy nor advisable.

 

[AhlaamBella]

SubhanAllah. Being recently married I know my husband couldn't cope with pleasing another wife and treating her the same way he treats me. I think bro Yusuf needs to think hard and CLEARLY about what he is planning to do. I also advise he seeks Islamic advice from a respected and knowlegable scholar. Good luck justifying ur actions bro.

Oh and FYI; when I say "respected and knowlegable scholar" I don't mean a village Imam from "back home".

 

[glo]

hypothetically he could. practically, it would be neither easy nor advisable.

I was wonderfing whether he is Islamically required to tell each wife about the others, or whether he could do it in secret ...

 

[~TwinklingStar~]

I was wonderfing whether he is Islamically required to tell each wife about the others, or whether he could do it in secret ...

No evidence appears neither in the Qur’an nor sunnah requiring the permission of the first wife if her husband wishes to marry another wife, and therefore he is not required to ask her permission. However, he needs to be judicious in taking this decision and to weigh it carefully with respect to benefits and drawbacks and to look with the eye of wisdom at all of the considerations pertaining to the matter, and he should strive all he can to conciliate, reassure, and satisfy his first wife, in order to ease and mitigate the effect of the matter upon her.


http://islamqa.com/en/ref/61/second wife

 

[Sampharo]

i just wanted to see responces on this i plan on have 4 wives who are virgins is this wrong mindset i know i got permishion from allah has given green light but i just want to see what you think how would you feel if you had a family member with this mindset

and no i will not have kids with all of them and in a way i will be only haveing 1 wife becouse the are rest back home and are islamicly correct and it doesnt take to much to please them (in money terms) and they not influenced by the west and yes i do agrea that haveing 4 wives here will be difficult but back home its a peace of cake

Dear Yousef,

Entering into a marriage is a binding contract and a large commitment upon which the nuclear structure of Islamic society is built. Marriage and divorce are not a game, and Almighty Allah gave the most details in the Qur'an about how solemn this contract is, especially the role of men in protecting and maintaining their wives.

First there are conditions to having multiple wives. First you need to provide justice, and that includes treating them similarly without favouring one over the other, providing for them equally in spending money and shelter, as well as time and marital relations. Already you say you think of only living with one and having children with her and not the others, and that is not permissible.

Second there is spending ability. People who marry several wives must be able to provide for all of them equally and sufficiently. You may not marry more than one if you can hardly spend on one. If you live with one in the west and three more are back home, whatever you spend on the first you have to spend on the other three. Not doing so violates the first condition and also is deceiptful to do so based on that they will not know what you are spending in the West on the first wife.

Those are conditions without which marriage to multiple women is not permissible. However, they are not solely sufficient to allow it:

For example, it is not permissible to marry a woman while planning actively not to procreate with her. She has inalienable rights to have a family and children and you have no right to prevent that. Also, you are not allowed to marry and then abandon them physically, for marriage to several women has been specifically allowed in order to aid with inproportionate numbers of women to men, that all women can have chastity and have a husband to which they share compassionate love and intimacy and physical oneness.

Additionally, if you live in a country that disallows polygamy, you are not allowed to break those laws and keep things in secret.

As for not informing the wives about each other, yes it is indeed not a prerequisite to not seek permission or inform the wives that you will marry someone else, but it is Islamically not permissible and not allowed to be deceiptful and marry a woman without telling her you are already married and that you are planning already to marry more. It is her right and the right of her guardian to perhaps have conditions that they are notified and just as God has given you the right to marry and they don't have the right to prevent you, she has the inalienable right to have her emotions and trust trampled on.

Finally and most importantly, as mentioned in the beginning Yousef, marriage is a sacred commitment between two people, and taking God's allowances and gaming them like that for rediculous reasons is HIGHLY sinful. It is NOT permissible to marry four women out of challenge or to give yourself fame.

So to answer your question, yes this is a very wrong mindset.

And God knows best

 

[yusuf18]

ok where the hell is 'back home' and why in the world are you going to mary 3 women from 'back home' when you have no intention of even being a husband to them? that is such a crap idea and are you trying to say that 'back home' people are not 'influenced by the west' because HA HA HA.
Women are women wherever they are and NO its not a piece of cake.

Please concentrate on your school work because i dont think youre a day older than 14.

glo- no he doesnt need her permission

no sorry your wrong maybe my english is not good becouse its my second langue and im 18 and muture so its not right you calling me 14

 

[yusuf18]

This is Immaturity at its highest...Misinterpretatting the laws of Allah to suit ur own whims & fancies.

You're supposed to treat all your wives EQUALLY !!!

1. You are required to spend equal time with each one of your wives..if you're only going to live with one & be a vacation husabnd to the other 3, you'll be answerable to Allah for your injustice in treating your wives inequally.

2. You're not going to have kids with all of them...meaning you're going to deny 3 women the right to children , which again is a sin.

3. You think women back home only need money, not love, affection & care of a husband... ohh, you poor misguided soul.

Marriage is NOT a joke...It has to be taken very very seriously. Imo, you're not even capable of being a husband to one, let alone four.

there will be no injustice note the money is the only thing i have to be fair profhet muhammad said this (o allah this is what i can do but don't blame me something which i have no control over which is the( love) sahi muslim

 

[AhlaamBella]

Bro you're acting like a 14yr old. Ur english has nothing to do with it

 

[yusuf18]

You're still a boy; it's too early to be thinking about this sorta stuff. Concentrate on your studies for now, son, and I can assure you that by the time you're mature enough to get married, you won't be thinking this way. Unless of course you ended up being another sorry excuse for a man whose brain is situated in a certain body part that is definately not his head, then all I can do is pray the poor women you try to con into marrying you aren't as foolish as you are n send you home with a good kick where it hurts. And I hope - although I doubt - you will then understand that there's more to marriage than what you have in mind...

Good luck, bro :X

i finshed my studies and also how the hell can you say its to earlry in this day of age were there is loads of fitna profhet muhammad encouaged people who have money to get married and not wait sorrry you advise is wrong

 

[convert]

i know when i was 18, i was far from mature. i mean, i could grow mean sideburns but thats the extent of my maturity.

 

[yusuf18]

Is that true?
I always thought a man was supposed to ask his wife's permission to marry more wives ...

subanallah wake up sister why would he neeed her permision when he has got it from ALLAH the most great subannalah stick to the sunnah

 

[AhlaamBella]

Right bro yusuf. Stop mouthin' off and read what we are saying to u! No wonder people turn from Islam because they believe it abuses women. Do you know where they get that from? Immature people like u who take rulings of Islam on face value and don't get the correct understanding of it. Sure get married if you are able. DON'T ABUSE A RIGHT ALLAH HAS GIVEN U! Because that's is what you are doing right now!!!

 

[yusuf18]

Right bro yusuf. Stop mouthin' off and read what we are saying to u! No wonder people turn from Islam because they believe it abuses women. Do you know where they get that from? Immature people like u who take rulings of Islam on face value and don't get the correct understanding of it. Sure get married if you are able. DON'T ABUSE A RIGHT ALLAH HAS GIVEN U! Because that's is what you are doing right now!!!

sister i do have correct understanding and dont ever even in you mind think that islam abuses women just look at the west you can treat the women like peace of meat and they exploit her and whats worse is she thinks it ok becouse the men tricked and said express yourself but in islam you have to honour the women and marry her not just 1 night and say bye

 

[Yanal]

Wait you want four wives at once ?

 

[Sampharo]

sister i do have correct understanding and dont ever even in you mind think that islam

Yusuf, as a scholar of Islam I can tell you beyond a shred of doubt, that no you DON'T have correct understanding of Islam. You were told by myself and others so many non-permissible things, and instead I am seeing you arguing with the people here and morover saying more things out of ignorance:

there will be no injustice note the money is the only thing i have to be fair profhet muhammad said this

Absolutely incorrect. You must provide them with equal time and equal marital physical relationship. You must spend the night in the bed of each one equally. If your heart favours one, that is not a sin. If you APPLY different treatment based on that and spend more nights with one than the other, it is not permissible. This is UNANIMOUS amongst all Islamic math-habs, that means that all of the scholars and Imams say this. Do not make up your own rules to find an excuse to do what you are planning to do.

And you already said that you will not spend equally anyway since you said the three will not know about what is in the West, so even that you are already breaking.

 

[AhlaamBella]

sister i do have correct understanding and dont ever even in you mind think that islam abuses women just look at the west you can treat the women like peace of meat and they exploit her and whats worse is she thinks it ok becouse the men tricked and said express yourself but in islam you have to honour the women and marry her not just 1 night and say bye

What you plan to do isn't any better. Ship them back home and deny them children. You're wrong brother.

 

[yusuf18]

What you plan to do isn't any better. Ship them back home and deny them children. You're wrong brother.

ok the denying children bit was abit of sorry allah knows if i will