Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatallahi wa barakatuhu
May Allah grant you shifaa and ease your suffering ameen, and if not then may He pardon you of your sins and increase your imaan and grant you jannatul firdous ameen!
While I have never been through what you are going through, Allah alhemdulilah had blessed me with a condition when I was younger. The only thing I can tell you is that no matter what your health is, there is nothing better than keeping a close relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Me never having any strong religious background when I was younger often made me feel alone, scared, and depressed 24/7 even though my family was there sympathizing with me every step of the way. To give you a picture of my ignorance, all I knew was that Muhammed sallahu 'alahisalaam was our prophet and three ahadith that my grandma used to often tell me. Knowing what I know now definitely would have made me mentally stronger and while I know that illness makes the body weak wallahi there is no comparison to the sickness that is bred from ignorance. I'll return to my illness a million times again and again than to return to that state of mentality once. Like I often tell my friends, be grateful for your sanity and awareness through the knowledge Allah has granted you, some people don't have that.
I am very glad you brought this post up because physical illness or not, everything is from Allah. I have seen people do miraculous things when it came to religious obligations simply because of their iman. Our bodies my restrict us from things, but a person of faith will go out of their way to keep that restriction from affecting his relationship with Allah subhanallah. Jazaki allahu khair, May Allah grant you patience and strength ameen.
fi aman Allah
w'salaam
