please help i am very depressed and i don't know what to do

[mikhail_reza]

Please I need help. I am only 15 years old and i have already tried to kill myself twice. I suffer from depression and anxiety and I'm just so lost. Everyday i cry for at least two hours. My mother calls me a pagan, says ill have my first child by the age of 18, and she says horrible things. She says that open mindedness is bad. she keeps saying such horrible thigns about me like im not a virgin, like im a pagan, like i dont believe i Allah. she says that having friends is bad for you. i do not have bad friends that are bad influences, i ahve very good friends. but she says such horrible thigns about me. being in a state of depression all the time you can understand how ahrd this is. im just so lost. i see people my age hanging out, having fun and being kids. but here i am crying myself out for hours. why is this ok? why is it acceptable for my parents do say such horrible things about me. why dont other people go through this. how come im the one that cries himself to sleep every night. im not even allowed to cry anymore ive been forced to cry silently. everythign in my life is a failure ive tried getting good grades, ive tried being happy, ive tried worshipping Allah, and every time i feel myself getting better my parents come in and destroy all the happiness ive created. i really need help very badly i dont know what to do. i know this site is very helpful ive read it before and i need help. please, i am afraid of what might happen. nobody is ever there for me, i really hope you guys will be even thoygh i dont even know you. just please help me.

 

[DanEdge]

Greetings,

I'm sure that others here will offer moral support for you, as I do.

I would suggest talking to a professional counselor. No matter where you are in the world, there are always professionals who will know how to help you with these issues. If you are feeling suicidal, there are 24-hour help lines that have people who will talk to you and help you though your troubles. There is always help; do not rely solely on internet contacts! Find a local professional who can help you.

Sincerely,

--Dan Edge

 

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum Mikhail,


(smile) Welcome to this Forum. I hope you continue to participate with us. Each voice is a Gift, because each person has their own, unique perspective, that can help others to think and grow.

(smile) It's not easy being 15 at the best of times, and it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. Dan's idea is not a bad one: can you look around and find out what ressources there are that you can access? Unfortunately, psychologists cost a fortune, (smile) and being 15, you perhaps don't have a fortune... I don't know where in the world you are writing from, but in Canada, there are special Kids Help lines (yes, I know, you're not a kid anymore, really, but they help teens, too. (smile) In fact, I suspect that most of the people who phone these lines are teens). There are also suicide prevention lines. Even if you're not feeling on the edge of suicide right now, I suspect they could direct you towards local resources. You could also try approaching any sympathetic teachers, or school counsellors, or doctors or nurses... Are any of the parents of your friends the sort you could talk with? Do you have any neighbours you could confide in?

I know you feel very alone, and feel like everyone else is happy, and only you are suffering. But I assure you that there are others who have problems, too. And problems worse than your own, perhaps. Does that mean your problems are not serious? No, of course they are serious. But if you can spare some sympathy for others in suffering, you may be surprised to find yourself feeling a little better.

You know, whatever anyone tells you about your relationship with God, at the end of the day, its something just between you and God. (smile) And no one can take this away from you. If you focus on Allah alone, and try to be the best that you can be, you'll be going down the right Path. (smile) You'll make mistakes, of course. (sigh) Maybe some big ones, even. But if you keep your eye on the goal of seeking closeness to God, you'll be surprised what you can get through and accomplish. (smile) And Allah is so Loving and Warm and Forgiving.

(smile) Some people think that if they are to rely on Allah alone, that this means they must never seek help from people around them. But this is a mistake. It is often through other people that Allah Sends His Help. (gently) And if you are crying silently every day, please look for His Help.

(smile) And there is help beyond people, too. You can connect with animals, perhaps. You can walk through the woods. You can make yourself something tasty to eat. Read a good book. Write a poem or a story to express your feelings.

(smile) And you can help others. Volunteer at a food bank. Chat with an elderly person in a park, in a mall. Raise money for a cause. Smile at a baby. Share a treat with a friend.

(smile) You don't have to do all or any of these things I've mentioned. They are just ideas. What I am trying to say is that while you may feel helpless right now, you are less helpless than you think you are. You are able to reach out to others (I didn't say it was easy... but you have the capacity to communicate, right?)... so see to whom you can reach out... and do it. You are also able to give to others. You know, even just your friendly smile could make another person's day. That's a pretty powerful thing, you know. You are also able to give to yourself, whether it be a treat or a kind thought... (smile) Yes! Think of your good points. You got good grades? Ma sha Allah! Good for you! (smile) And you can call out and lean on Allah, always. He won't always Give you what you think you need... but He will Send you some form of aid... you just have to open your heart to see it, sometimes. (smile) And He always Listens.

(gently) I'm afraid I don't know all the particulars of your situation, so my advice is only of a general sort. But one thing I can tell you: it is a strong person who can admit to weakness and seek help. (gently) Be strong, my dear. You've reached out to us on this Forum... now try to reach out onto the world around you. (smile) And if you want to continue to participate with us on this Board... then please do.


May Allah, the Loving, the Kind, Enfold you in His Care.

 

[LaSorcia]

I am so sorry you are suffering so much. I suffered terribly at your age, too. Thankfully, God helped me to see that one day that part of my life would be in the past and no longer in the present. This helped me, along with much prayer, to get through my ordeals. I am now grown up and very happy, and following God. Making duas for you, God bless you!

 

[greenhill]

Welcome to the forum. Another cry for help welcome.

Allah tests people. There must be something He has for you, and you're not doing well.

I can't advice because it is your life. Only you know how the seconds, minutes and hours go.

For sure, 2 attempts on your own life should be a serious signal to you. That you are not at your time to 'go' yet. That you have another reason for being than to chase after death.

First and foremost, you have to set in your own mind and heart what you want in life. Only you can achieve it. Nobody can do that for you.

Then set yourself up to be that change. Be patient.

Talk to your mum. Tell her that you need to talk to her. 1) tell her she does not need to ever repeat those things you mentioned. You can repeat the list for her so that she gears it coming from you and will probably be shocked that you remember them all. Tell her it's already in your head that will not be forgotten. So, she does not have to ever repeat it. It is not healthy. 2) have your routine. Do all needfull stuff and reward yourself with friends time. Don't go over board.

Develop some other interest or activity.

Log on to IB ;D and be active.

But it all starts (or ends) with you. Let Allah decide the end (result), we 'put in' while we live. Depression or feeling sorry for ourselves is to me a luxury. In the real world, we have no time to waste the good hours, minutes and seconds on being depressed or sorry for myself. Maybe stop, take a breather, take stock of the situation, weigh alternative start again. Enjoy the fruits.. and share!

Anyway, here's wishing you a great stay.

eace:

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you mikhail_reza; and welcome to the forum, from a grandfather,

Don't despair when you read this.....

'the youth of today are lazy, they get drunk and they are disrespectful'

This message was found written on a three thousand year old tomb in Egypt, so nothing changes in the eyes of the older generation. If there is one thing harder than being a teenager, it is being the parent of teenagers, and there is a very good reason for this.

Every parent was a teenager once, they probably got into trouble themselves, they probably ignored the advice of their parents, and they don't want to see their own children make the same mistakes they did. Hopefully this makes some sense.

I always looked on my grandfather as a saintly kind of man, it wasn't until after his death, and I was much older, I found out he got his girlfriend pregnant and they had to run off and get married when he was seventeen, that was about a hundred years ago.

It is a fearful thing being a parent, you have to let your children walk out the door on their own, you have to trust them, this is very hard to do. As a parent, you read about the horrible things that teenagers do, you also hear about them being victims.

You sound like a sensible young man, maybe try and be a bit more understanding of your parents insecurity. In a very short time you will gain your independence, patience and trust in Allah will help you.

In the spirit of praying for hope in our lives

Eric