Please Help Me!

[anonymous]

Assalomu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh brothers and sisters,

Before I ask for help, I just want to say that I have no intention of saying anything bad about my mother. I am doing this because I need help as I have no one that can help me.

I wanted to wear the hijab and I tried my utmost best to convince my mom and even asked my dad to help, but she keeps saying no. I tried explaining and explaining but she keeps getting madder EVERYTIME and keeps telling me that after I get married, I can do what I want, meaning I can wear the hijab after I get married. I tried SO MUCH but it did not work.
I don't know what to do in this situation.

Also, my house has family pictures; only in my parents room. I asked her if we could take them down but she said no. She said that she does not want to follow my rules and when I get older and buy a house, I will be able to do what I want. And you might say, " Just explain to her that angels will not come into the house..." I know 100% that she will still say no. I took pictures out of my own room. I hope Allah(SWT) knows my condition and I hope angels can come into my room.

I am very frustrated. It is very hard to follow Islam this way.
Brothers and sisters, what should I do?

 

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:


may Allah reward you sis for ur intention to follow the Islamic rules.

May be , u can give ur mom some good Islamic books / Audio / Video CD on importance of Hijab. Also is it possible to invite a female scholar at your res and arrange a discussion with mom and other women relatives , neighbours ?

As it's Fard , try to solve this problem with mom first . May be , later u try to convince her on photo .

 

[Snowflake]

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

Masha Allah. May Allah bless all mothers with a daughter like you. Hijab is fardh for a female who has attained puberty. Allah says in the Quran:

"It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision: if any one disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path." [Qur'ân 33:36]

When you venture out, or be anywhere you will be seen by non-mahrams, wear your hijab darling. And tell your Mum that you would never have disobeyed her if it wasn't the Command of Allah that you wear hijab. If she fears you will be attacked, tell her that Allah is your Protector. Allah commands that we honor and obey our parents, but we are to no longer obey them if they call us away from the religion of Allah. Insha Allah the fatwa below regarding the seriousness of obligation will give you evidence from the Quran & Sunnah to show to your mum.


http://islamqa.info/en/ref/93145


Wa alaykum assalam

 

[tango92]

i think your mum will crack if you "disobey/rebel" long enough, she will get used to it.

but it will be hard for her because she realises she doesnt have the control over you as she once had....

 

[anonymous]

Jazkhallah Khair brothers and sisters.

What I forgot to tell you was that she is not letting me wear it for a reason: no one will want to marry me. I tried telling her that if it was written for me, that if Allah(SWT) wanted me to marry someone, then I would marry that person, regardless of me wearing the hijab. The other day I tried convincing her and she almost had a heart attack :hmm:

 

[Imaduddin]

Re: Please Help Me

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh



I was in the same situation with my parents, especially my dad when it came to the beard. When I hadn't intended to grow it yet, I used to ask my dad for his permission. But when I went for Umrah, Alhamdulilah, a couple of months ago I just let the beard grow and my dad said nothing because I just did it for the sake of Allah. Don't get me wrong, my dad too is religious, but he just never gave me permission because where I come from it's a big issue, they say you follow wrong teachings and call you an innovator and what not.

So I learned a good lesson from that, if you ask your parents to do something religious which they see other people not doing or due to lack of sound knowledge, they refuse your request. And on top of that they sense your fear of their approval and thus they do not give you permission.

My advice to you sister, set a date and tell your mother about it. Say to her, on this date I will wear the hijab and if you don't like it throw me out and have the whole world speak about it. Use reverse psychology on her. If you are steadfast, Allah will help you, Allah never forsakes those who are steadfast. If you ask your mother for permission, she sees that you aren't steadfast which is a sign of weakness.

I have had this same problem with my dad, I have now learned how to deal with it Alhamdulilah. Remember, you are commanded to obey your parents so long as they command you to that which is halal. If they command you to what is haram, then you have the permission/command of Allah to not obey them.

I hope that is helpful insha Allah. So set a date and tell her with full conviction that you plan on wearing the hijab, and to show her your seriousness and conviction in doing so, tell her to kick you out afterwards if she wants to but first you will wear it. Remember that a mother would give her life for her child. See what her response will be and work on that.

 

[Asiyah3]

Wa alaykum as-salaam warahmatullahi wa barakatuh

As for family pictures, there could be a difference of opinion on this. If your mom follows the opinion which says camera photos are permissible, then you should respect each other views and not let Shaytaan cause problems between you.

Source: http://spa.qibla.com/issue_view.asp?ID=9334

Prioritize. First, try to convince your mom about the hijab, because that is obligatory. As far as I know, you are not obliged to obey your mom if she asks you to disobey the Creator. Another solution would be, stay in the house and don't go in front of non-mahrams.

May Allah grant you sabr.

 

[Abz2000]

i agree somewhat with bro imaduddeen's suggestion
the Quran clearly tells us

[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica]"And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents--his mother beareth him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years--Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is the journeying.
But if they strive with you to make you ascribe unto Me as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not.
Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who repents unto Me.
Then unto Me will you return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.--"
[Quran 31:14-15]

[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica] and

[/FONT]We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not. Ye have (all) to return to me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did.
Quran 29:8

if u put your trust in Allah and fear Him, He will make the best way for you sister, it's His Promise.

 

[anonymous]

The truth is, I am not trying to be mean, but it is very easy to say, "Just wear it, your mom will come to like it" but it is very hard to actually do it. I know that if parents go against what Allah(SWT) has commanded us to do, we can then disobey them, but I can't. Me saying, "I can't" sounds disobedient but I am very lost. 100% of me wants to wear the hijab but only 10% of me can stand up and talk to my mom. I would try to wear it but I am afraid of her reaction, I mean she said that if I do this a few more times, I will give her a heart attack.
I hope this is just a test from Allah(SWT).
:unhappy:

 

[tigerkhan]

Allah SWT keep u steadfast and easy the matters for u.