Please Say A Dua For Me - Please Please Please

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams all,

Hope everyone is OK.

The regulars will know how much I am troubled by my evil neighbours. This weekend has been awful. They have had yet another ventilator fan put in the basement so it's non stop humming sounds on whichever floor I am on in the house and it really is cracking me up. I was contemplating throwing myself out of my bedroom window the other day.

Anyway, I was coming home from work the other day and saw a notice on someone's house saying it was up for sale. I've just been for a viewing and I think I fell in live with the house. It's not hard to do when the place you are currently living in is like hell with the constant noise and harassment which may I add, they do on purpose.

It seems like a really nice house and the price, though quite high, is something that is possibly affordable. I am going to book another viewing and then put an offer in.

Please can I request that you all say some extra special duas for me. I really want for this to work out so I can actually start living like a normal person again.

I know a lot you have said Allah will help in due time. I won't lie, I did lose hope and faith numerous times. There were times when I got really angry with Allah for not helping me but it seems like he has finally come through for me. If this works out, I will go to Jamaat for 40 days! That'a s promise.

Please please please pray for me and please pray this works out.

I'm kind of nervous and excited at the same time I could wet myself! :statisfie

 

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:


may Allah makes life easy for u and grants what is best for this life and hereafter .

 

[azc]

May Allah swt make it easy for you. Ameen

 

[sister herb]

May Allah make things easy to you. Good luck.

 

[BeTheChange]

Walaikumasalaam,

That's fantastic news.

Am glad you are looking around and trying to resolve the situation in a healthy manner.

May Allah swt provide you with what is good for you Ameen.

Let us know how you get on in sha Allah.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams all.

Mom has started playing "games" again saying she doesn't want to move blah blah blah. I can't afford it on my own, so it's back to square one I guess.

I told her if she carries on like this, I will slit my wrists and it will be her fault. Now she is not talking to me.

Why me? What have I done to deserve animal like neighbours and a Mom who acts like a schoolkid? Honestly, it's at times like this I wish I had the guts to just kill myself.

I'm so depressed again. Are you sure I can't play the lottery or rob someone so I have enough money to buy this house?

 

[Scimitar]

Salaams all,
They have had yet another ventilator fan put in the basement so it's non stop humming sounds on whichever floor I am on in the house and it really is cracking me up.

A ventilator fan, in the basement? In the North of England?.... sounds like they be growing cannabis mate, especially with that tell tale clue of constant humming.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

A ventilator fan, in the basement? In the North of England?.... sounds like they be growing cannabis mate, especially with that tell tale clue of constant humming.

I am currently sat in the front room. Their front room is adjacent to ours. Basements are below. They had their basement done up into a bathroom 2 Easters ago (oh I remember the non stop drilling all day, everyday). I can hear the loud humming clearly.

I just walked into the kitchen and I can't hear it there, so it is definitely in the basement which is below the front room.

I couldn't care less what they are growing and doing, I just wish Allah would do something about them and soon.

 

[~Zaria~]

Salaams all.

Mom has started playing "games" again saying she doesn't want to move blah blah blah. I can't afford it on my own, so it's back to square one I guess.

I told her if she carries on like this, I will slit my wrists and it will be her fault. Now she is not talking to me.

Why me? What have I done to deserve animal like neighbours and a Mom who acts like a schoolkid? Honestly, it's at times like this I wish I had the guts to just kill myself.

I'm so depressed again. Are you sure I can't play the lottery or rob someone so I have enough money to buy this house?

Assalamu-alaikum brother,


Is it perhaps possible that you may be more sensitive to noise than the rest of your family ?

(It would seem reasonable that your mum and family members would be just as desperate to leave, considering the severity of the problem.)

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Assalamu-alaikum brother,


Is it perhaps possible that you may be more sensitive to noise than the rest of your family ?

(It would seem reasonable that your mum and family members would be just as desperate to leave, considering the severity of the problem.)

I absolutely agree. Some people freak out when they have to have an injection and others don't. Some people eat one chilli and almost burn up and others don't. We are all different. Allah made me this way for some reason (to suffer more by the looks of it!)

Oh she does want to move. But she is just scared. She has lived here all her life with her husband. He died a few years ago. She can't move on. She still has his pillows ready in bed in case he comes back. Crazy I know but I am not married and don't understand such things.

The house is too big for her too. Her husband had the house extended every way possible and she struggles to get from one room to another. At night time, it takes her forever to go upstairs. So in a way, by downsizing I am doing her a massive favour but the excuses keep coming. What if? But what about?

Also, her Dad was and Aalim so he may have instilled some things into her when she was younger. My Dad was a waste of space and did no such thing.

You must all forgive me for being OTT and dramatic, but when you have non stop noise day in day out, it takes over your life. At this moment in time, I dread coming back home from work and I don't even like work to be honest. I am tired of non stop panic attacks too. In fact, each day is just harrowing to live.

Currently, the ventilator fan is humming away in the upstairs bathrooms, the downstairs bathroom and some stupid idiot thinks it's fun to open and slam doors continuously at almost 10pm on a Monday night when people have work to go to tomorrow!

 

[MidnightRose]

I absolutely agree. Some people freak out when they have to have an injection and others don't. Some people eat one chilli and almost burn up and others don't. We are all different. Allah made me this way for some reason (to suffer more by the looks of it!)

Oh she does want to move. But she is just scared. She has lived here all her life with her husband. He died a few years ago. She can't move on. She still has his pillows ready in bed in case he comes back. Crazy I know but I am not married and don't understand such things.

Also, her Dad was and Aalim so he may have instilled some things into her when she was younger. My Dad was a waste of space and did no such thing.

You must all forgive me for being OTT and dramatic, but when you have non stop noise day in day out, it takes over your life. At this moment in time, I dread coming back home from work and I don't even like work to be honest. I am tired of non stop panic attacks too. In fact, each day is just harrowing to live.

Go for that 40-days Jamaat you mentioned above. Get away for a while. :ia: it'll give you a break and some time to strictly focus on Allah.

 

[~Zaria~]

I absolutely agree. Some people freak out when they have to have an injection and others don't. Some people eat one chilli and almost burn up and others don't. We are all different. Allah made me this way for some reason (to suffer more by the looks of it!)

Oh she does want to move. But she is just scared. She has lived here all her life with her husband. He died a few years ago. She can't move on. She still has his pillows ready in bed in case he comes back. Crazy I know but I am not married and don't understand such things.

Also, her Dad was and Aalim so he may have instilled some things into her when she was younger. My Dad was a waste of space and did no such thing.

You must all forgive me for being OTT and dramatic, but when you have non stop noise day in day out, it takes over your life. At this moment in time, I dread coming back home from work and I don't even like work to be honest. I am tired of non stop panic attacks too. In fact, each day is just harrowing to live.

It may be worthwhile consulting with a psychiatrist.

The 'non stop panic attacks' and significant disruption to daily living - suggests that perhaps there may be benefit in seeking a medical opinion.

***

Nabi :saws: said (translation):

Don’t speak ill of the dead for indeed they reached what they have put forth.”
(Bukhari p 131 vol.2 باب ينهى من سب الاموات Darul Fikr)

 

[hisnameiszzz]

It may be worthwhile consulting with a psychiatrist.

The 'non stop panic attacks' and significant disruption to daily living - suggests that perhaps there may be benefit in seeking a medical opinion.

***

Nabi :saws: said (translation):

Don’t speak ill of the dead for indeed they reached what they have put forth.”
(Bukhari p 131 vol.2 باب ينهى من سب الاموات Darul Fikr)

Salaams,

I have been to a GP about this. They gave me sleeping tablets which I took but I was so wound up, it made no difference. They won't give me anymore, so I now get a friend to buy me some from abroad (you can buy them over the counter in Tenerife).

They also suggested moving out, but I can't afford it unless I come into a lot of money.

Apologies about speaking about the dead like that. I won't do it again.

Please keep praying for me. Thanks.

 

[noraina]

May Allah make it easy for you. Please keep up updated.

 

[~ Sabr ~]

:wasalamex

May Allaah grant you the best in this world and the Aakhirah, Ameen

 

[Umm Abed]

Salaams all.

Mom has started playing "games" again saying she doesn't want to move blah blah blah. I can't afford it on my own, so it's back to square one I guess.

I told her if she carries on like this, I will slit my wrists and it will be her fault. Now she is not talking to me.

Why me? What have I done to deserve animal like neighbours and a Mom who acts like a schoolkid? Honestly, it's at times like this I wish I had the guts to just kill myself.

I'm so depressed again. Are you sure I can't play the lottery or rob someone so I have enough money to buy this house?

Wassalam brother, so sorry to hear about your predicament. How does your mother manage through the noise? That I cannot understand! For once I think you should make a move, instead of threats and frustrations, do consider getting the house you'r looking into.

There is really no reason to put up with this terrible noise. Convince your mother to move, or she can move later on if she wishes. There is nothing wrong in you wanting to move for some peace and quiet.

How does she respond to the fact that you'r are deeply disturbed by all this noise?

 

[Serinity]

As salamu alaikum,

go to the neighbour and tell them to turn off the ventilator as it causes too much noise. If it continues, call the police or some other authority. This can't be legal. I mean, do you think having high blown up music (an example) in the middle of the night from 8 PM to 7 AM is every single day not going to attract negative attention and in the end get me out of the house via. Police?

Get the police or some other authority, there has to be someone with common sense to know that this should be dealt with accordingly. Sorry for sounding harsh, but for harsh neighhbours, there are harsh measures.

May Allah easen you the pain. Ameen. I recommend you to go to Jammat for 40 days, for peace of mind.
And Allah knows best.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Wassalam brother, so sorry to hear about your predicament. How does your mother manage through the noise? That I cannot understand! For once I think you should make a move, instead of threats and frustrations, do consider getting the house you'r looking into.

There is really no reason to put up with this terrible noise. Convince your mother to move, or she can move later on if she wishes. There is nothing wrong in you wanting to move for some peace and quiet.

How does she respond to the fact that you'r are deeply disturbed by all this noise?

Thanks so much for your concern. My Mother has always been very patient. She was married to my Dad from a young age and was always obedient to him. I have been told off for saying bad things about dead people but let's just put it this way, he was not a good husband to her and he was very much of a bully, but she remained good to him and looked after him when he was very poorly and then died. My Mother is suffering quite badly. You just need to look at her. She is pale, withdrawn, jumpy, she has aged a lot over the last year or two. She is always nodding off during the day so I KNOW she is not sleeping at night. Maybe she just likes being a victim, I don't know? Her Dad was quite a big Aalim and maybe he taught her things about patience and what not when she was younger? I don't know.

I simply can't force my Mother to move. I KNOW she does not like it here but at the end of the day, it's her house, she is elderly and not too well and I don't want to force her to make a decision which will make her feel even worse than she is. She knows this house and the people in this street and her sister lives in the street opposite us so in a way, I understand it's not fair for her to be forced out like this. I've tried discussing life would be better in a smaller house that had nicer neighbours, but she keeps shutting off or just ignores me for days on end.

I don't tell her everything about how much I suffer. It's not fair. She has more than enough worries as it is (disabled daughter, son awaiting an operation), I don't want her to worry even more about me. I do tell her I don't sleep too well and I think the others in the family know as I don't hide my sleeping pills, they are there for everyone to see. I try and put on a brave face because if everyone is weak and suffering, it will really make her worry more. She doesn't have many people to talk to. When my Dad was alive, he broke relations with my Mother's brothers so they no longer come over, too much bad blood between them. Plus she is housebound so it's not like she actually goes out and talks to people.

As salamu alaikum,

go to the neighbour and tell them to turn off the ventilator as it causes too much noise. If it continues, call the police or some other authority. This can't be legal. I mean, do you think having high blown up music (an example) in the middle of the night from 8 PM to 7 AM is every single day not going to attract negative attention and in the end get me out of the house via. Police?

Get the police or some other authority, there has to be someone with common sense to know that this should be dealt with accordingly. Sorry for sounding harsh, but for harsh neighhbours, there are harsh measures.

May Allah easen you the pain. Ameen. I recommend you to go to Jammat for 40 days, for peace of mind.
And Allah knows best.

We have spoken to them about the ventilator fan and they said it's their house and they can do what they want. From past experience, we know if we say anything to them, they will retaliate and make it ten times worse than before.

You may want to have a look at this forum. http://www.noisyneighbours.net/forum/forum/2/noisy-neighbour-experiences/

There are heaps of people in the UK and overseas that suffer from noisy neighbours (NN) and the Police / Council will not do a thing about it. Loud parties/music/drug taking, the Council and Police are not bothered and won't help! Bear in mind, I work for the Council and have spoken to them about the noise and they more or less told me to "get a grip". They told me slamming doors all day every day is normal household noise and hoovering at midnight is also OK. Well from a Council's view that's fine, but from a Muslim perspective harming or troubling one's neighbours is NOT on. I've read heaps of hadeeths authenticating that. I do wonder why Allah does not punish them unless I have misunderstood the hadeeths and they are saying it's good to be nasty and evil to neighbours and trouble them. Can someone clarify please?


*****

Just a quick update.

My nephews stayed over the night before last. They wanted to stay and I did everything to convince them not to stay because of the noise. But they did. They didn't sleep until after 1am because of the noise. Each time a door was slammed they were petrified and started crying. When the ventilator fan went on in the morning at about 6am, it was really loud and scared the little nephew so much he wet himself in bed. Poor kid. I might be evil and might listen to music etc and am therefore suffering but why these innocent little children also?

This morning the ventilator fan went on again and I ended up throwing up in bed! Not good is it? I'm absolutely filled with worry and dread again. I wonder what they get out of tormenting us? As I type this, I can hear the stupid man from next door praying the Qura'an. I wonder why he bothers. He goes out of his way to make our life hell and then prays the Qura'an. Stupid stupid man!


In a final last ditch effort, I emailed my local Imam and he has responded saying how he is disgusted that I am still suffering. He too has suggested praying and making dua (I genuinely don't know if I have the energy for doing that anymore), moving (haha, haha) or he has suggested I meet with him just to have a chat because I mentioned to him my Imaan is really weak and I have been contemplating suicide for quite some time now.

Sorry guys for moaning and complaining yet again. I am just feeling so very low and could easily just do something very stupid. I wish Allah would listen to me and help me and I have been patient for so very long.

 

[Umm Abed]

Thanks for your detailed post. Its not easy at all going through so much mental havoc in your life everyday. Your mother is a good person, and Im sure you are overlooking all her faults whatever they may be. Its the best thing you can do for her and yourself.

What a stuck situation you find yourself in. How about yourself moving into a new place and maybe gradually your mother will move in with you? Even if it means just to get some sleep at another place everyday? I feel in that way it will keep your sanity and make difficult situations more bearable on you.

The council not helping is a gross misdemeanour. How are people suppose to have some peace and quiet? It doesnt seem possible.

May Allah make it easy for you.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Thanks for your detailed post. Its not easy at all going through so much mental havoc in your life everyday. Your mother is a good person, and Im sure you are overlooking all her faults whatever they may be. Its the best thing you can do for her and yourself.

What a stuck situation you find yourself in. How about yourself moving into a new place and maybe gradually your mother will move in with you? Even if it means just to get some sleep at another place everyday? I feel in that way it will keep your sanity and make difficult situations more bearable on you.

The council not helping is a gross misdemeanour. How are people suppose to have some peace and quiet? It doesnt seem possible.

May Allah make it easy for you.

Thanks for your response and for taking time to reply to me again. I appreciate it.

And thanks to all the others as well. I know I am looking for an answer which I will probably never find, and I am mainly ranting on here but I really appreciate that you all make time and effort for me. I think it's the only thing keeping me going at the moment.

The thing is, the house I have seen I will not be able to afford. I only work part time. I went part time when my Dad became ill and I had to look after him and do the hospital rounds. Mother is not too well now so I can only work part time. So this house I have seen, I can put a fair chunk into it, but the rest would be a mortgage and because I work part time, I simply cannot afford it. A few friends and family have said they will help, but it's not the amount of money I need. The banks etc only let you borrow 3 to 4 times what you earn and it simply would not be enough.

If my Mother agreed to move, thereby selling this house, it would be affordable. It would be my house, she would put some of the money from the sale of this house to help me buy it and I would pay my Mother each and every last penny back, but she just keep freezing when I ask her to move. I can't keep forcing the issue on her or discussing it with her because that might end up affecting her also and I just don't want to see her unhappy. As a son, I just want her to be happy and not be scared out of her skin each time the people next door want to slam a door / put that dreaded fan on / run up and down stairs / start doing DIY. The house I have seen is in between 2 elderly people's houses, 1 my Mother knows and gets on with and the other 2 are OK also. If she moved there with me, I would be OK going to work full time even as I would know she would be OK there.

Please keep praying for me that this happens and I can finally move out. I'm sat in tears now because this could actually happen and I am so close. Allah please help me.