Please Say A Dua For Me - Please Please Please

[BeTheChange]

Brother this has been an ongoing problem for you.

Have you sat your mum down gently and spoke to her about this? How it affects you? Or will the chat have too much of a negative impact on her?

I am sorry to hear you are still going through this.

May Allah swt remove your stress and worries Ameen.

 

[Umm Abed]

You'r welcome, and do post and say whats on your mind, brother, it makes a difference.

Please dont feel so broken because you'r staying there all because of your mother, and that effort will never go to waste. You will see it, eventually, just keep on taking her duas.

Ok so there is some solution if only your mother was prepared to move out. I pray she does change her mind soon and move out with you so you can sell this house and buy one in the right place.

I will continue to pray and make dua for you that you find a way out soon.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Have you sat your mum down gently and spoke to her about this? How it affects you? Or will the chat have too much of a negative impact on her?

Thanks so much for your time and response.

Haha, I try and do that every other day or when the noise gets too bad, but she makes out she hasn't heard me or completely changes the subject which just means she is not interested in that conversation. Or worst of all, she just ignores me for a few days afterwards which is just awkward.

Everyone at home knows I struggle to sleep because of the noise. They all know who sleeps in the room next to mine and they all know how much noise she makes. They have all seen the dramatic weight increase in me. I can't sleep at night so I drink bottle after bottle of pop. I know it's the wrong thing to do but there is nothing else I can do when I feel so down. I cry. I pray. I cry some more and then I feel even worse.

People at work know how much I struggle and they say come and stay at mine if you want. I would do but it's wrong to impose on someone like that and it would be awkward being a guest at someone's house but not knowing how long I would be there for.

You'r welcome, and do post and say whats on your mind, brother, it makes a difference.

Please dont feel so broken because you'r staying there all because of your mother, and that effort will never go to waste. You will see it, eventually, just keep on taking her duas.

Ok so there is some solution if only your mother was prepared to move out. I pray she does change her mind soon and move out with you so you can sell this house and buy one in the right place.

I will continue to pray and make dua for you that you find a way out soon.

Thanks again for posting. I appreciate it.

You see if I lived on my own and they were bothering me like this, I would just give it back to them at 3am. For example, start hammering on the wall that joins our house to theirs, put loud music on, start hoovering, invite everyone from work and have loud parties when I know they are going to work the next morning, have a ventilator fan fitted right up onto their wall and switch it on throughout the night. But I have my Mother in this house and she is totally against retaliating and causing further problems. She says "just because they act like janglees does not mean we have to be the same".

My health is suffering but I am not overly bothered about that. It's my Mother I really worry about. She is a kind and lovely woman. She goes out of her way to be a nice person. She even stops me from hoovering the house when the people next door are sleeping even though they cause us this much harm. She refuses to slam cupboard doors (only thing in our house that is adjoining their partition wall). Basically, she is just too good to be true but she still ends up suffering endlessly. I just want her to have a nice life and be able to relax and not be constantly scared out of her wits.

Sometimes I wish I was like my oldest sister. She is one of the most selfish people I know, but for some unknown reason Allah made me the polar opposite of her constantly worrying about others! :hiding:

Anyway, thanks for listening to me drivel on again. It looks like your prayers are working as the noisy people have not been too noisy tonight. The night is still young mind.

Jazakallah all.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Second viewing tomorrow.

Please all pray for me. All being well my Mother will be coming to view too.

I really hope this works out. I feel so poorly in this house. How the uncouth people next door can make our life hell and sleep at night is beyond me. It's all done on purpose that I know. I have counted at least 30 heavy door slams today and that dratted ventilator fan was on for approximately 3 hours in total today.

I wonder what they get out of it and I wonder why nothing awful happens to them.

 

[Umm Abed]

You'r welcome, thanks for your answer - it is not drivel but legitimate concerns.

Yes I know exactly what you mean - give them back what they give you - and a piece of your mind lol, but that is not an option as your mother does not approve of it and it will just stress her more.

I want to know, does all the noise affect your mother just as it affects you? And why if yes then why is she so willing to live under these circumstance? I know you said she has some relatives or friends living nearby, but still too, its worse living with all that hammering noise and them living nearby than just moving to a quiet and peaceful neighbourhood without the friends/family - and noisy neighbours!

They can hardly be called neighbours because a neighbour cares about the wellbeing of whoever is staying next to him and will never cause any incovenience, but yours are of a different sort!

Its good to know that you are not a selfish person at all and you have tolerated so much, but since it is because of your mother then that is so much worth it.

May Allah make it easy for you and recompensate you with goodness, peace and comfort - and quietness in the neighbourhood. Ameen.

 

[Umm Abed]

Second viewing tomorrow.

Please all pray for me. All being well my Mother will be coming to view too.

I really hope this works out. I feel so poorly in this house. How the uncouth people next door can make our life hell and sleep at night is beyond me. It's all done on purpose that I know. I have counted at least 30 heavy door slams today and that dratted ventilator fan was on for approximately 3 hours in total today.

I wonder what they get out of it and I wonder why nothing awful happens to them.

Oh no, 30 door slams, that is just very bad, wish like slamming the doors on them:hiding:.

So you've found a new house and considering it? May it work out for you and whatever is best, happens for you insha'allah.

What the neighbours are doing to you is oppression, and you must know that the oppressor will pay in this world for his wrongdoings, as there is justice by Allah swt.

Ive heard that an oppressor will get sorted out right in this world, but I do hope that they mend their ways soon hopefully so, insha'llah. May Allah guide them.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

I want to know, does all the noise affect your mother just as it affects you? And why if yes then why is she so willing to live under these circumstance? I know you said she has some relatives or friends living nearby, but still too, its worse living with all that hammering noise and them living nearby than just moving to a quiet and peaceful neighbourhood without the friends/family - and noisy neighbours!

They can hardly be called neighbours because a neighbour cares about the wellbeing of whoever is staying next to him and will never cause any incovenience, but yours are of a different sort!

Its good to know that you are not a selfish person at all and you have tolerated so much, but since it is because of your mother then that is so much worth it.

May Allah make it easy for you and recompensate you with goodness, peace and comfort - and quietness in the neighbourhood. Ameen.

Thanks so much for responding. I really appreciate it. It truly means a lot to me that you are listening to me and assisting me. May Allah bless you.

The noise affects my Mother. She doesn't sleep at night and keeps nodding off during the day, and gets jolted awake with the loud door slamming / ventilator fan / running around and other noise. She is a lovely woman and I don't understand why she won't just admit it is affecting her. She can say no as much as she likes but I know just from looking at her and her general well-being it is really bothering her. She has aged a lot and is now actually very frail. She can try and fool any of us by saying it does not bother us but if the noise penetrates my deep ear earphones and loud music at night, she sure as hell is listening to every last slam / running around / noise from the fan. Sorry, she may be on a lot of tablets that make her drowsy but that noise is just too loud.

We had another discussion this morning about the ventilator fan. It was on again for about an hour at 7.30am this morning and it woke me right up. It also woke my brother up who sleeps on the floor above me. He was not very happy and he was cursing the neighbours when he woke up (I don't blame him but I know it's not the right thing to do). Mother said the noise did not bother her and we shouldn't complain because it was only a bit of noise. Either she genuinely is not bothered by it or she is just too scared of confrontation. I know from past experience that if we brought it up, they would retaliate by slamming doors harder or louder or something along those lines. They have always been of the consensus that it is our house and we can do whatever we like in it. Unfortunately, the Council and the Police here would agree with them. Like I said, from a Muslim point of view it's not on. I do wonder why Allah does not strike them down. It's been years and years of abuse we have had to suffer. I''ve mentioned in my various topics each time the Imaam or a travelling Imaam from around the world has talked about the harms of troubling ones' neighbours and the punishment that will come because of it. It's made no difference to them at all.

Oh no, 30 door slams, that is just very bad, wish like slamming the doors on them:hiding:.

So you've found a new house and considering it? May it work out for you and whatever is best, happens for you insha'allah.

What the neighbours are doing to you is oppression, and you must know that the oppressor will pay in this world for his wrongdoings, as there is justice by Allah swt.

Ive heard that an oppressor will get sorted out right in this world, but I do hope that they mend their ways soon hopefully so, insha'llah. May Allah guide them.

The door slamming is the least of my worries now. It's the dratted ventilator fan that sounds like an earthquake is happening which is annoying me so much now. It's annoying my brother too, so I know I am not going crazy. It's not just me that is suffering. It's the whole family, including Mother, even though she says it's all fine and nothing is bothering her. It was on at 1am this morning and then again at 7.30am. It's been on more or less all day.

Part of me wants to go to their other neighbours house and ask if it is annoying them but I know they probably won't say a thing. They had a huge altercation a few weeks ago when my neighbours crashed their car into their other neighbours. It was my neighbours fault but they blamed the other party (as usual, they do no wrong).

We've just been for the second viewing. I dragged Mother along too. She likes it. They are selling for £110K but want to leave all their furniture. I have no need for the furniture. Would an offer of £90K be too rude? I mean it's a starting point and if they say no, I could always go a bit higher yes? Mother is saying don't offer too much but to be honest, I just want to move. I know if the seller wants the full price, I won't be able to afford it, but I am more than happy to cut out a lung and a kidney to finance it. I HAVE TO MOVE!

I so hope you are right about the oppressor. They need sorting out. I don't mean it in a nasty way. When we were little, I used to play with their kids and we used to be best friends but then they grew up and became bad and started harassing us. I don't know what they get out of it, but they do know how weak the sound proofing is between the houses. Whenever they have had ventilator fans fitted (bathroom upstairs and basement bathroom) they have been right on the edge of our wall, so all the noise comes here. Why would anyone do that? Our ventilator fan in the bathroom is next to one of our bedrooms. We could have had it fitted right up against our other neighbours wall, but why would we want to harass them and wake them up each time we used the bathroom? It's a no brainer and affecting someone like that is just wrong, regardless of what religion you follow. I don't know why they carry on with this torment. They know how ill my Mother is but it's like they have no concern for her health at all.

Anyway, thanks so much for listening to me go on and on again. I appreciate it. You don't know how comforting it is to know that there is someone out there who will listen to me and assist me. It means such a lot to me.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Also, don't you think it's really unfair that we are being forced out of our home?

Yeah. I know there are many other people in the world who are suffering much worse than me but that does not mean we are not suffering too.

 

[M.I.A.]

There is a chapter in the Quran titled the exile..

Maybe something to draw from.

 

[OmAbdullah]

Salaams all,

Hope everyone is OK.

The regulars will know how much I am troubled by my evil neighbours. This weekend has been awful. They have had yet another ventilator fan put in the basement so it's non stop humming sounds on whichever floor I am on in the house and it really is cracking me up. I was contemplating throwing myself out of my bedroom window the other day.

Anyway, I was coming home from work the other day and saw a notice on someone's house saying it was up for sale. I've just been for a viewing and I think I fell in live with the house. It's not hard to do when the place you are currently living in is like hell with the constant noise and harassment which may I add, they do on purpose.

It seems like a really nice house and the price, though quite high, is something that is possibly affordable. I am going to book another viewing and then put an offer in.

Please can I request that you all say some extra special duas for me. I really want for this to work out so I can actually start living like a normal person again.

I know a lot you have said Allah will help in due time. I won't lie, I did lose hope and faith numerous times. There were times when I got really angry with Allah for not helping me but it seems like he has finally come through for me. If this works out, I will go to Jamaat for 40 days! That'a s promise.

Please please please pray for me and please pray this works out.

I'm kind of nervous and excited at the same time I could wet myself!

Please start going to jamaat right now and go for the whole life. This promise of yours "going to jamaat for 40 days" is not right at all. Please remember that Allah is the Most Merciful and Kind but Allah's tests are very hard. Allah has ordered men to go to jamaat 5 times a day in his adult life. You must be obedient to Allah. If you are obedient then Allah will surely deal with those who torture you. If you are not obedient to Allah then Allah's Anger can come on you in any form. So the real treatment is to improve oneself to become a perfectly obedient Muslim.


If you intend to buy the house by taking a loan with interest from a bank, then that may become a very big problem for you. I don't know your circumstances but you know them. So be careful from a bigger trouble.


I pray for you but I think that you have to improve your relation with Allah, that will bring you comfort here and in the Hereafter, otherwise the suffering will not end, and the sufferings in the next world are much more severe.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Please start going to jamaat right now and go for the whole life. This promise of yours "going to jamaat for 40 days" is not right at all. Please remember that Allah is the Most Merciful and Kind but Allah's tests are very hard. Allah has ordered men to go to jamaat 5 times a day in his adult life.

Sorry, how is that even possible?

Do you mean going to the Masjid 5 times a day? I go at least once or twice but I can't any more than that for I am tired and filled with worry and grief.

I know I am not meant to do this, but I will give you an example of the people next door. They only go to the Masjid in Ramadhan and on Eid. They don't go for the rest of the year. So why are they not troubled or oppressed like us? I at least try and make an effort, I respect my neighbours etc, yet this is what happens to me? Don't you think I would be better off being like them and then maybe the oppression will stop?

Anyway, please can everyone keep praying for me as I will be making my offer tomorrow. I hope he accepts.

 

[M.I.A.]

Well,

If you know what upsets you, what worries you or causes your grievances...


Then don't do it to others.

Although you would probably get your butt handed to you anyway...

Wait wut?

 

[Mustafa16]

May Allah make it easy for you, and help you.

 

[Mazpop]

Subhanallah, may Allah make it easy for u and hardship will surely becomes ease

 

[Umm Abed]

Also, don't you think it's really unfair that we are being forced out of our home?

Yeah. I know there are many other people in the world who are suffering much worse than me but that does not mean we are not suffering too.

You'r welcome, and thanks again for your post.

Yes definitely, it is completely wrong and unfair that you are being forced out of your home by your inconsiderate neighbours. No sane person can be normal in such circumstances. And your quality of living is very much compromised.

Your mother seems to be a very resilient person that she can bear so much. The same can be said of you because, after all, you have been living under these extremely irritating noises and everything, but that is a good quality that you and your mother have because it makes you stronger and much more tolerant to many things.

Taking so much tablets is not a good idea as you may know already, the side effects etc, but I do understand your desperation so you'r forced to take them, and even your mother has to take these tablets to reduce the anxiety.

Is switching on the ventilator something new they'r doing? It seems very loud and noisy. Maybe give it another try and speak to them, see if it helps, since you know them from a long time? Ive got this idea: why dont you call them over, have a chat to them and then bring up this problem? Maybe it will help.

It is acceptable to bid for the lowest price for the house, there is nothing wrong in it. Its about what you can afford, so do try from the starting price.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams to you and thanks again.

Mother is very resilient. I have no idea where she gets the energy and patience from. I wish she would tell me or give me the pills to do it too. It would make life so much easier for me. Having said that, she looked really tired again this morning.

I know I should not be taking the tablets but what else is there that I can do? I’ve tried every natural remedy there is: I’ve prayed various parts of the Qura’an to help, I’ve tried herbal tea and sprays, you name it, I have done it. The noise is far too loud to sleep in hence having earphones in all night long with music playing to block out the noise. Last night I downloaded an app with sleep sounds on it but it made no difference as I was so worried and tense.

The ventilator fan is something new. They now have 2. 1 at the back of the house in one bathroom, 1 at the front of the house in the other bathroom on a different floor. The new one is a lot louder, the people who live opposite them are affected by it also. Your idea about speaking to them again is something I will take into consideration and speak to my Mother about. However, I have a feeling she will say no. If we did what you have said, they would retaliate in another way. Like now for example, Mother is the only one at home, so they will increase the door slamming 20 fold, or the other thing is the woman from next door will stand on the balcony at the back of the house and talk loudly to other people in the street moaning that we complained about them. They have done this in the past a few times. I don’t think Mother can cope with the harassment, that really winds her up.

Last night was bad. She was at home all day but decided to hoover the bedrooms after 10pm and then it was slamming wardrobe cupboards and doors for about an hour. By this time it was about almost midnight and I was so worked up I didn’t get any sleep until 3am.

I am on my lunch break at the moment and dreading going home. I hate that my life is like this. It’s like being in hell on earth.

I’m going to put the offer in on the house tomorrow. Unsurprisingly, Mother changed her mind last night and is not going to move, so that put a spanner in the works. We ended up having a huge argument and we are not speaking at the moment. I wish she was not so stubborn. This is for her own good. It would be nice if we could stay where we were, but the people next door are not going to change and Allah is not helping out either. I know this is a test and what not, but the test is becoming far too hard to bear. I am at crisis point. I’ve not even eaten my lunch because my stomach hurts so much from worry.

Thanks for listening to me again. I appreciate it.

 

[aroojali]

ALLAh Pak Bless U with All the Happiness. :barak:

 

[Umm Abed]

Wassalam brother, and thanks for your post.

Its a good trait that your mother has, that she has so much patience, and you too, seems to have inherited that from her, which is a good thing after all. The hardship that you undergo now, you will see that it will help you throughout life to make you more resilient and able to handle different situations.

Although your mother is that patient, there is no reason for her to put up with all the noise and harassment. There is just no need for all this, to put up with toxic neighbours, whose job is only to make noise with ventilators and banging doors and whatever goes with it. Dont they have any other work besides standing there and banging doors?:hiding:

I just want to suggest to you this, while going to sleep, recite 'ya Salaamu' continuously until you fall asleep, and as for the music, it will only increase the anxiety, so best is to not listen to it.

About having a talk with the neighbours, give it a last try, and if you approach them in a non-hostile manner that could help your side.

It must be so tiring not being able to rest or sleep. About the house issue, Id say dont turn it into an argument as this will lead to no where. You could just go ahead with your plans and do what you think is best. Rather not argue with your mother because she will just get angry, and you will just get more stressed out.

Also, always have a good opinion of Allah swt in all conditions.

 

[OmAbdullah]

Sorry, how is that even possible?

Do you mean going to the Masjid 5 times a day? I go at least once or twice but I can't any more than that for I am tired and filled with worry and grief.

I know I am not meant to do this, but I will give you an example of the people next door. They only go to the Masjid in Ramadhan and on Eid. They don't go for the rest of the year. So why are they not troubled or oppressed like us? I at least try and make an effort, I respect my neighbours etc, yet this is what happens to me? Don't you think I would be better off being like them and then maybe the oppression will stop?

Anyway, please can everyone keep praying for me as I will be making my offer tomorrow. I hope he accepts.

May Allah give you success and comfort in every lawful attempt, aameen.


May Allah give you and your Muslim neighbors strength to go to Masjid 5 times every day so that Allah is pleased with you all, aameen.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Wassalam brother, and thanks for your post.

Its a good trait that your mother has, that she has so much patience, and you too, seems to have inherited that from her, which is a good thing after all. The hardship that you undergo now, you will see that it will help you throughout life to make you more resilient and able to handle different situations.

Although your mother is that patient, there is no reason for her to put up with all the noise and harassment. There is just no need for all this, to put up with toxic neighbours, whose job is only to make noise with ventilators and banging doors and whatever goes with it. Dont they have any other work besides standing there and banging doors?:hiding:

I just want to suggest to you this, while going to sleep, recite 'ya Salaamu' continuously until you fall asleep, and as for the music, it will only increase the anxiety, so best is to not listen to it.

About having a talk with the neighbours, give it a last try, and if you approach them in a non-hostile manner that could help your side.

It must be so tiring not being able to rest or sleep. About the house issue, Id say dont turn it into an argument as this will lead to no where. You could just go ahead with your plans and do what you think is best. Rather not argue with your mother because she will just get angry, and you will just get more stressed out.

Also, always have a good opinion of Allah swt in all conditions.

Salaams, and thanks for your reply.

I have not had chance to reply because I have not been too well and things were getting a bit too much for me.

The people next door do work, but I guess they are used to the noise because they are the ones making it. I have at times wondered if the fan makes noise on their side of the house too, but they have placed them in such a way that they are all on OUR side of the house. Not in the middle of their room, not on the side closest to their house, but right up on the edge of the wall which adjoins our property. I wish my Dad had complained to them right at the beginning when they put it in but either he was too chicken or wanted to be patient!

Anyway, I don't want to discuss them any further. They do my head in yet they are constantly blessed by Allah. It actually makes me wonder why I don't start imitating them and maybe then things will go right for me. Does anyone else ever feel like this? You look around and see people so happy but they rarely come to the Masjid unless it's Ramadhan, act like complete jaheels but all the things that happen to them are good? I know some of you will say "they might have everything in this life but they may have nothing in the hereafter", well at this moment in time, I can't even think to the hereafter, I just want a tiny bit of piece to get my life back on track.

The offer I put in for the house got refused. He wanted more, so I met him in the middle and I was hoping he would have said yes, but he refused and said he wants the higher amount which I absolutely cannot afford. I've asked all my family and friends and I can't borrow anymore. I don't work full time because I look after my Mother (as a son and not a carer so I don't get paid for that), and I just wouldn't be able to pay people back. The way my health is going and the way my manager has noticed my performance is deteriorating, I don't even know if I will have a job at this rate! He said he would think about it which I guess means no, but who knows.

Can I ask you all to keep praying for me? I am praying non stop by the way. You are all fabulous learned people and I have faith the one of your duas will get accepted, so please continue to pray for me. If he says yes, this could be the start of a new life for me. I have so many plans for my future and the only way they can happen is if I/we move out from there.