it took me years before i finally accepted islam.
basically one day i decided to do a little google because i had seen some shia muslims protesting the movie "the davincci code." these shiahs were holding up pictures of jesus and i was shocked. i had no clue that muslims believed in jesus. though i was born in albania, i moved to the USA very young and my parents never taught me about islam as they were actually christians.
so after this google search i began to get interested. i learned that what these shia muslims were doing was haram.. to have portraits of jesus. but, i learned that islam still believed that jesus was a prophet, but that this jesus was different than the jesus of the bible in many attributes.
but i quickly grew an interest in islam. a religion where the holy book is straight from god, not man-written.
in all honesty, for about two years i didn't want islam to be the truth. i didnt find the religion appealing to me, being a drinker and living the typical american lifestyle. but yet, for some reason, every night, i found myself online reading up on islam, or reading the qur'an. i kept telling myself that islam wasnt the truth but inside i just had a feeling that cant be explained, but im sure all of us have felt it.. you just know its true no matter how hard you dont want it to be.
at the beginning of christmas day, 3 years ago, i finally accepted that islam was true, whether i liked it or not. i just told myself "quit lying, life is short, accept the fact."
however, unlike many, just because i accepted it was the truth doesnt mean i instantly became a muslim.. nay, in fact it was like another year and a half before i accepted islam. but, after at least admitting it to myself, i became more open minded and willing to learn. and i continued to learn and learn, and in my heart i just couldnt deny islam.
now as i had said.. at first i didnt want to be a muslim. i kind of just knew that i had to be. kind of like something you cant choose. but, after reading and learning more, i quickly became fond of islam and my perception of this religion changed significantly.
finally i said my shahadah and have been a muslim ever since.
certainly i have followed many users on youtube who have helped me. i also have learned tons from forums like this, multaqa ahl al hadeeth, and many other places. websites have been a big help for me, especially fatwa websites. certainly without the internet, i dont know if i would have ever been introduced to islam. for all i know, right now i could still be thinking what i thought years ago... so, i do credit the internet. but ultimately, it was that feeling i got inside me that made me choose islam. that inner feeling was undeniable. no matter how hard i tried to disprove islam(and i viciously tried,) it just didnt work.
so, there's your answer. i know it's long, but i feel that this answer isn't as simple as black and white, and i'm sure that many other people have similar stories to mine.
