Problems With My Marriage Please HELP

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Selam Aleykum brothers and sisters in Islam....

My wife has lately been very edgey and i can never seem to do anything right.
We generally have a good happy marriage but lately it has been very bad and not good! She will now threaten me saying that it will be over and she will leave me and divorce is the only option and when i try to talk to her she will shut me out and wont want to talk.

Now i know that i havent done anything wrong. She has stopped breast feeding lately so i know that her hormones are all over the place but she seems to think that divorce is the only way. We try to talk about things but she says she is not happy in the marriage anymore. She says our love life is no good, its too much of a routine, she doesnt feel love towards me and so on....
I pray to ALLAH that this is just a hicup along the way but its still not a good feeling when you hear things like this. One day she will be really good and nearly as good as she used to be, then the next day she changes like the wind and goes all cold on me. I have tried reasoning with her and she seems to listen to an extent then seems like she has already made up her mind. I dont want my marriage to end!
I ask for your prayers and dua's please in this situation and that my marriage will improve and things will get better between me and my wife. Please brothers and sisters i ask you for your help as well with this. May Allah please accept all our prayers and grant us a place in Paradise next to each other and protect us from harm and evil that affects our daily lives. Amin

Thank you all Selam Aleykum
 
Wa'alaikum as'salaam,


Did this start all of a sudden? If so it could be a matter of jinns and black magic by someone otherwise, i would suggest islamic marriage counseling.
 
Is this your first child? How old is the baby now?
I stopped breast-feeding my children when they were around one year old, and by then I felt exhausted and physically drained.

How long have you been married?
 
:sl: brother.

InshaALLAH I will keep you in my prayers.

Best thing is to contact a scholar as he will give the best possible advice or as the brother mentioned - marriage counceling.

Keep your faith in ALLAH(SWT) and do dua to ALLAH(SWT).

:wa:
 
:sl: it could be very well her hormones acting up or insecurity issues that she has and this is how shes

expressing herself to you. has anything ever happened in the past with the two of you thats making her like

this? (i don't want to know what it was) but im just curious as to know there might be many a reason why

shes acting this way. people don't act that way for no reason unless black magic was done on the person.

one of these common signs are getting angry for no reason at all and feeling no love for the person. anytime

you talk she gets annoyed even listening to your voice. these are all the common signs of black magic.
:wa:
 
As the people above me has stated, this sounds too much like black magic. I have had firsthand experience with magic, my family was almost torn apart due to it but alhamdullillah everything turned out ok in the end. I pray that everything will be fine on your end

Recite this dua

BISMILLAAHI WA BILLAAHI BISMILLAAHI WA MAA SHAAA-ALLAAHU BISMILLAAHI WA LAA QUWWATA ILLA BILLAAH QAALA MOOSAA MAA JI-TUM BIHIS SIH’R INNALLAAHA SAYUBT’ILUH INNALLAAHA LAA YUS’LIH’U A’MALAL MUFSIDEEN FAWAQA-A’L H’AQQU WA BAT’ALA MAA KANOO YA’-MALOON FAGHULIBOO HUNAA LIKA WANQALABOO S’AAGHIREEN

[In the name of Allah and with Allah: in the name of Allah-that which Allah wills (takes place); in the name of Allah- there is no power nor strength save with Allah. Musa said : What you have brought is sorcery; verily Allah will soon make it vain: verily Allah does not put in order the work of the mischief-makers. Thus the truth was established, and what they were doing was made vain.So there and then (Firawn and his enchanters) were defeated and made to look small, humiliated]
 
wa alaykum us-salaam

when she is a more calm mood, then advise her about her actions and ask her why she thinks your marriage isn't as good as it was before...maybe (if her words are true) ask her how it could improved...the point here is try to get her to reach a compromise that what she says is hurtful and if your relationship needs rectifying somewhere, then it should...so what im getting at is that is you give and take until you reach a point of compromise where both of you (if/where necessary) have to put in the effort to improve your marriage.

whatever you do dont ever give her a divorce when she is going through an emotional time, becuase she is probably just saying that on impulse.
 
bro, do u and ur mrs pray? How does she feel about praying and stuff?
Not sayin u do, but help more with the baby, could u have the baby at its grandparents or a friends so u two could spend time quality time together, maybe go for a walk or meal, and understand each other again.
Its prob the tiredness of looking after a baby full time.
InshAllah it will be ok
 
well i child is now nearly 2......maybe some form of evil eye/ black magic could be a possibility.....
i do pray to ALLAH for patience and strength and to help us through this hard time we are facing....
i dont really want to confront her too much about things as this sometimes just gets her going and makes her even more made at times.....
when it is possible i have voiced my opinions and told her how this is affecting me and that her thinking negative will do neither of us any good....i tell her that i understand that her hormones are changing and that this is just a part of life but she has friends that are going through similar things and i think their problems are bringing her down as well.....i do hope that things do get better between us and she does come back down to earth and be normal once again...

She is not the same person i married at the moment....i just pray to ALLAH that things do improve....

thank you all for your prayers and kind words they do help....

i will try and find more dua regarding been cursed/ or black magic and how to overcome it....

May ALLAH help us all and save us from the Hell fire!
AMIN
 
i thought we werent supposed to believe in black magic???

anyway back to the OP concerns...

After having a child every emotion is everywhere!!!!!!!! and i am not saying its right but its soooo hard to keep the attitude in check... for some women. (me me me me me)

anyway (and these are just ideas)

do you sometimes take the child from her just to say sweety go relax, watch a movie you want to, take a bath whatever you wish just have some you time?

have you tried bringing her favorite flowers home and leaving them a place she will find them

have you tried letting her sleep in the morning (once in a while) and taking care of the kid 1-2 hours (sleep deprivation is a huge factor for mood changes)

have you tried something stupid like getting a comady (i dont know if you watch movies or not) or something romantic and sitting together feed each other ice cream. or making her a dinner (i know thats not traditionally a mans job) and i am not saying you have to but just anything anything anything to show her that you love her and that she is beautiful to you....

after having a child and your hormones are all over and the body changes and we (females) sometimes feel like we are discusting and fat and no one loves us (i am not saying it makes sesnce i am just saying its a very NORMAL way to feel after it...

if she is angry give her a little space or say what can i do to help you i know your busy. i know this is a ruff time but its a ruff time for both of you...

does that make sense????
 
Assalamualikum.Do not all the time keep on blaming black magic as that should be the last option.

As a woman I would like to share something here.

Women are agreesive and not "normal" during their PMS which is 1 or 2 weeks before the period comes.The hormon changes can cause thsi problem.Women say thinsg without thinking and eventually they regret what they say and usually what women say is the opposite.If she said she doesn't love you,it means she loves you and perhaps she just wants to hurt you and make you more angry.As a husband you must understand that this is not done by herself but she was tempted by syaitan.

That is the reason Allah gave men to divorce women and not the other way around.As a man I advice you to tolerate with her at least for the sake of your child.

When she is angry,she say things that is not even reached the brain but she come out through her tongue.When she is calm down,she will realise that what she did is wrong.

When she is angry..pls never ever irritate her more or say words which will cause her anger more.It is either so say sweet things to her and make her laugh or jsut walk away from the scene till she is calm down.

Perhaps she needs to go through anger management course or she needs to keep herself busy with more Islamic things such as memorising Quran and so on.

The last option I could say is 3rd person.You have to find out and investigate in sha Allah.

Allah knows the best.
 
well i do what i can to make things more easier and better for her,
i will take care of our child, make dinner if i can or clean up around the house. Clothe and change our child.
take her out of the house or to mums to give her space.
I really do what ever i can. I believe that i treat her like one in a million and always respect and love her.
Divorce is not an option for me at all and nor do i ever want to consider it. She is the one that has mentioned it and brings it up. She mite think that it will make her problems go away but if only she knew that its going to create more issues.
I dont think she has prayed lately and if i do try and mention prayers/ duas to her then it seems like i am been too pushy and forcing her to do things so i dont say it anymore. I do what i can and hopefully she see's the faith/iman that i have and it encourages her.
I am been as patient and strong as i possibly can Supan ALLAH.
I thank ALLAH for giving me the patience to carry on with this and Insallah He will help me through this.

I sometimes try to look at things thinking that ALLAH is just testing me to see what i do and i know that he wont put us through more than what we can handle but sometimes it is just so hard.

Thanks for all your support and advice, it doesnt go unnoticed :)
 
revert2007 said:
Assalamualikum.Do not all the time keep on blaming black magic as that should be the last option.

As a woman I would like to share something here.

Women are agreesive and not "normal" during their PMS which is 1 or 2 weeks before the period comes.The hormon changes can cause thsi problem.Women say thinsg without thinking and eventually they regret what they say and usually what women say is the opposite.If she said she doesn't love you,it means she loves you and perhaps she just wants to hurt you and make you more angry.As a husband you must understand that this is not done by herself but she was tempted by syaitan.

That is the reason Allah gave men to divorce women and not the other way around.As a man I advice you to tolerate with her at least for the sake of your child.

When she is angry,she say things that is not even reached the brain but she come out through her tongue.When she is calm down,she will realise that what she did is wrong.

When she is angry..pls never ever irritate her more or say words which will cause her anger more.It is either so say sweet things to her and make her laugh or jsut walk away from the scene till she is calm down.

Perhaps she needs to go through anger management course or she needs to keep herself busy with more Islamic things such as memorising Quran and so on.

The last option I could say is 3rd person.You have to find out and investigate in sha Allah.

Allah knows the best.
Click to expand...

i think you hit the nail on the head there sister. yeah it can be her periods also making her act like that.

Brother i think you are an amazing husband taking care of things and telling her to pray and stuff mashaAllah :)

i think she could be just exhausted with the child and everything so its vital that you help out you know the prophet mohammad (saw) was helping around the house too.
 

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