I told her I'm sorry again today but she told me to go away and that 'your sister never gives me trouble like this, only you do'.
I even offered to make her some tea, but she roughly replied with eyes glaring 'NO!'
I thought a mothers heart is very soft and melts at the sight of her children. I guess I was wrong.
Oh sis *hugzzzz*
You've been so brave so far sis and I know you can continue doing so. Allah is The All-Seeing and All-Hearing. Your patience and efforts will not be in vain inshaAllah.
Your mother is suffering from very low self-esteem due to her own childhood experiences. How awful it must have been for to have to marry someone she didn't want. Then to bear children from him, couldn't have brought her as much joy as she would've felt if she'd married from her own will. Yet she stayed and tried her best to keep this family together. She tried to make the best of a situation that was forced upon her. It makes her present behaviour understandable. God knows how much pain and unhappiness she is harbouring deep within her soul. There could also be an element of jealousy/resentment in that there are reminders of how different her childhood was to her own childrens.
Mothers aren't saintly holy creatures. They are normal humanbeings with their own strengths and weaknesses and responsibilities to shoulder. It is not your fault what is happening. But whatever went wrong in your mother's life haunts her and for some reason she takes it out on you. She doesn't feel that she has an identity of her own. In her eyes she is just someone's wife, mother, daughter.. but not an individual in her own right. That can be very disabling to our own self-worth.
There may be another factor present which contributes to the way she treats you differently to your siblings. She may have had you when she was at a very low point in her life. She may have been suffered from post-natal depression, which went unrecognised. Not many mothers can admit to not bonding with their child. She is a victim too. A victim of her lack of self-esteem and a victim of a culture which against Islamic teachings forced her into a marriage she did not want.
My sweetest sis, you can help in healing her. It's so sweet how you made tea for her. yes, she rejected it. But although heart acknowledged your action, pride and anger got in the way of showing appreciation. Continue in your efforts, don't let one rejection put you off. Her barriers are too strong to come down with one strike. let her know that although she's never had a job, or achieved higher education, she has done a good job of raising a family. Try to give back some of the self-esteem she is lost.
Things will get better inshaAllah sis. But along with your efforts you must make duaa. While it is hard for us to change a situation, for Allah nothing is beyond His control. He can change even the hardest of hearts. He can cure even the deadliest diseases. Pray to Allah to cure your mother, mentally, emotionally and physically. Pray salah-ul-hajat and make duaa sincerely and constantly. Reach out to Allah in your sorrow and He will take care of you.
Recite Ya Raheemu 101x after fajr. Blow on hands and wipe over face. InshaAllah everyone will treat you with love, fairness and respect.
For reconciliation - read Ya hakeemu 101x. Blow on water and give it to your mom and dad to drink. If that is not possible, read same and blow on their pillows. If that too isn't possible then imagine them in your mind and blow on them. Remember nothing is beyond the power of Allah. SubhanAllah.
May Allah accept your prayers and bring happiness and tranquility in your household. Ameen.
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