Problems with Work

[anonymous]

Salaam All,

I am a 30 year old female and have come across a problem in life. I have been invovled in a pre-marital relationship in early days ( i know it was wrong & i have reprented). My parents are not looking for a partner for me and they do not know anyone.

I have met a religious muslim guy and we are enagged and soon to do nikkah inshallah. However, i travel a lot for work and stay overnight in different countries and around the UK. My fiance has a problem with this however he doesnt work and cannot get a job so i am the one makin all the money at the moment so what should i do?

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

sorry if this is offensive or anything but why cant he get a job? that is a right you have over him (in the case where you marry him).

i honestly suggest for you to give up working so that he gets his act together. when he realizes his responsibility and is consistent in it, when he has that protectiveness over you then maybe consider start working but dont hand it to him on a silver platter, he'll never learn or realize his responsibility.


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im sick to death of irresponsible men.

 

[happy]

You need to think carefully and come come to conclusion because this will affect your marriage.If he is saying don't work then he need to get work cuz he have to provide you financially.

 

[GuCcI]

Is the reason why he can't work because he doesn't have a valid work permit? If that's the case would it be possible for you to find work in a different environment? Whether he accepts your overnight travel or not isn't the issue - Muslim women are not allowed to travel long distances if not accompanied by a mahram.

If citizenship/work permit is not the case, then is his reason for not working 'valid'? If not, you need to re-think this potential marriage. What are his views on him working in the [near] future? Iron everything out before proceeding.

 

[cat eyes]

well if hes the religious type he will most likely object to you travelling alone.
i understand him about this. Allah has said himself any woman who believes in me and the last day should travel with mehram so thats how serious it is.

it dose not look good for a muslimah to be going around on her own you know. can it be possible your husband can accompany you?

but thats not even a question to be honest.

he should accompany you everywhere whether hes working himself or not. sister if hes having problems finding work the scholars came to a conclusion that the wife should still support him because its a type of zakat for the husband. you should at least give him 2.5 of your own savings.

there is a huge difference between a man who wants to work and a man who dose not want to work.

if he dose not want to work and hes not even bothering finding work i would think twice about taking this man as your husband. also if your husband cant travel with you could you get any family member to travel with you to these destinations?

 

[Snowflake]

Sorry sis, but there is no such a thing as not being able to get a job - more like not getting a job of your choice. But beggars can't be choosers. When I needed a job I would not even go to a Job Centre, I'd walk into the place I wanted a job in and ask for an application form, sit there and fill it in so that I could hand it in straight away. I wanted a job in one place so badly that I went every single day despite them saying there is no vacancy as yet but someone will be leaving soon. I didn't want anyone else to get in so I went for five days after I finished my other job to inquire if the person had left. On the 5th day they took me into the office and gave me a job on the spot.

He can get a job tomorrow if he wanted. Allah provides for every winged-creature out there. But He doesn't throw food into their nests. They have to go and search for it.



:wa:

 

[Donia]

Sorry sis, but there is no such a thing as not being able to get a job - more like not getting a job of your choice. But beggars can't be choosers. When I needed a job I would not even go to a Job Centre, I'd walk into the place I wanted a job in and ask for an application form, sit there and fill it in so that I could hand it in straight away. I wanted a job in one place so badly that I went every single day despite them saying there is no vacancy as yet but someone will be leaving soon. I didn't want anyone else to get in so I went for five days after I finished my other job to inquire if the person had left. On the 5th day they took me into the office and gave me a job on the spot.

He can get a job tomorrow if he wanted. Allah provides for every winged-creature out there. But He doesn't throw food into their nests. They have to go and search for it.



:wa:

That is excellent advice, sis.
I agree completely that people seem to complain that they can't find a job, but I think it is more that they can't get a job that they WANT. Some really need to humble them selves.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salaam All,

I am a 30 year old female and have come across a problem in life. I have been invovled in a pre-marital relationship in early days ( i know it was wrong & i have reprented). My parents are not looking for a partner for me and they do not know anyone.

I have met a religious muslim guy and we are enagged and soon to do nikkah inshallah. However, i travel a lot for work and stay overnight in different countries and around the UK. My fiance has a problem with this however he doesnt work and cannot get a job so i am the one makin all the money at the moment so what should i do?

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister jazakallah khayran for sharing this with us and may Allah make things easy for you. Firstly sister it is not permissable for a women to be travelling on her own for more than 48 miles, let alone travelling across the country and abroad. These measures are only for the protection of women and not to be detrimental in anyway for Allah is the creator so does he not what is best for his creations? Therefore you must try to see if you can get a static position in your company where you would not have to travel and if this is not possible then apply for another job and leave this job once you are successful in your application for another job.

We should realise that Allah is our employer not humans and if we make the full effort and have hope, faith and trust in Allah and want to do things the right way then Allah will give us a good job inshallah.

Also there are a lot of people in this thread who have made assumptions that your fiancee is not looking for work or is lazy etc Then let them be reminded that we should not judge or assume and we are here only to give advice not attack others. What if he really is looking for work?

Why are we judging him and the position he is in? None of us in here know him or his situation We are not here to attack others but to advise for the pleasure of Allah. When giving advice we should not do so using our emotions but we must do so using wisdom and tact and not judge or assume without concrete evidance.

May Allah make things easy for you and give you a successful and happy marriage with pious offspring. Ameen

and Allah knows best in all matters