Prophet's marriage with Hazrat Ayesha. Need help

[amalteser]

Salam alykum

First, I do not care about the opinion of Non-Muslims about Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Whatever opinion they may have of Prophet (peace be upon him) will be negative since it is a clear threat to their way of life. Second, I do not have problem with any of the Prophet (peace be upon him) marriages he is allowed to marry whom he (peace be upon him) wishes or desires. As for Aisha R.A. being 9 years of age when the Prophet (peace be upon him) married her. I do not see any problem with this either, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) scarified way too much for me to question him. Who am I to question the Prophet (peace be upon him) judgment? If he wished to marry 200 women I still would see no problem in his divine decision. His (peace be upon him) message is clear "There is no God But Allah and Muhammad is his slave and servant" How can people who claim that a man told them he is "Son of God" and brought the truth challenge a man who gave up everything and said he is slave of One true God. There is no religion that can have such greatness as Islam. The reason negative views bother us is not because of the views themselves rather over Eman. We should gain more knowledge and increase our awareness of the Deen. Only an ignorant person would bark back at a dog, an intelligent person would realize there is no point in barking back at the dog. The animal has no common sense to understand the reality. Similarly, people who do not see the message of Islam to be the truth even though the message is clear then it is pointless for us to respond back to them. These people have lost their intellect they can no longer think for themselves, responding to them is like responding to a dog. Study the Seerah of our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) everyone will realize the truth and everything will fall in place. I highly recommend The Sealed Nectar.

In no way is this intended for the sister that posted the question. This is only refereeing to Muslims as mentioned trying to deceive the people and lie about our Deen.

Sounds like you are brainwashed!
Surely Mohammad's life and behaviour should be beyond reproach!
It is recorded that Aisha was still playing with dolls when she was married!
And how does comparisons with the customs of Arab non muslims at the time and the kuffar at any time in history come in to it?
Surely, whatever Mohammad did, had to be sanctioned by allah!
Therefore, does allah sanction child marriage today?

 

[GuestFellow]

Sounds like you are brainwashed!
Surely Mohammad's life and behaviour should be beyond reproach!
It is recorded that Aisha was still playing with dolls when she was married!
And how does comparisons with the customs of Arab non muslims at the time and the kuffar at any time in history come in to it?
Surely, whatever Mohammad did, had to be sanctioned by allah!
Therefore, does allah sanction child marriage today?

Age does not matter as long as they reached puberty. Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) herself had been pleased with the marriage. In Islam if a women is not happy with the marriage, then they can always get a divorce.

You need to study Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) life. His wives were always treated with utmost respect.

Did you read the entire thread?

 

[Rasema]

Sounds like you are brainwashed!
Surely Mohammad's life and behaviour should be beyond reproach!
It is recorded that Aisha was still playing with dolls when she was married!
And how does comparisons with the customs of Arab non muslims at the time and the kuffar at any time in history come in to it?
Surely, whatever Mohammad did, had to be sanctioned by allah!
Therefore, does allah sanction child marriage today?

Please read before posting, at least your own posts.
You said" Muhammad,saws, married Aisha when she was six and raped her when she was nine. If He,saws, was such a rapist wouldn't He rape her when she was six? And, if she was raised by a rapist. She would not be emotionally or physically healthy. In the contrary, Muhammad,saws, raised her to be the most knowledgeable, modest and healty in the town.

Surely Mohammad's life and behaviour should be beyond reproach!

You're judgeing what you have no knowledge about.

Surely, whatever Mohammad did, had to be sanctioned by allah!
Therefore, does allah sanction child marriage today?

Muhammad,saws, had an exeption in certain things because whatever He did was for Islam. Allah doesn't prohibit us from marring people as long as we do it the halal way. We can marry when ever we FEEL like we need to. Aisha loved Muhammad,saws.

 

[Rasema]

Good one brother Karl.

 

[Mujahideen92]

She wasnt married at 9, she was engaged at 9. She was married a year or two later. Atleast according to my biography

 

[julesfly]

It's also a plain fact that many men have an appreciation for and have the opportunity to enjoy certain qualities in their wife that will be short lived. If one is honest with themselves they will know obviously well that a prepubescent girl glows with the magical beauty of youth itself, as given by Allah, her skin is so perfect, her eyes are so sharp, she has a kind of beauty that is very short lived. She is so pristine in every physical way. Why wouldn't any normal heterosexual man admire these divine qualities?

Wow, you are right we really do have different morals. I didn't realise how different till i read this. Came onto this forum to learn more and have tried to remain open minded but i am finding this very difficult to get my head round. Is this the genaral view re child brides? I do not believe it is. Although i find this hard to deal with I will still try to respect others views and not make inflammatory remarks. Wish the author of this post could do the same. FYI we non-muslims are not all immoral, drunken *****s with no values out to denigrate and disrespect your religion. imsad

 

[GuestFellow]

Wow, you are right we really do have different morals. I didn't realise how different till i read this. Came onto this forum to learn more and have tried to remain open minded but i am finding this very difficult to get my head round. Is this the genaral view re child brides? I do not believe it is. Although i find this hard to deal with I will still try to respect others views and not make inflammatory remarks. Wish the author of this post could do the same. FYI we non-muslims are not all immoral, drunken *****s with no values out to denigrate and disrespect your religion. imsad

No one is actually sure how old Ayesha was (May Allah be pleased with her). It does not really matter what your age is as long your mentally capable of handling the responsibility as a wife or husband. She reached puberty so I don't think she would have been considered a child. She grew up to be a very intelligent women and an academic alhamdulillah.

Things were very different 1400 years ago. Looking up at classical history does portray times were very different back then.

BTW do not get the impression Muslims think all non-Muslims are immoral. Some Muslims do not behave properly either.

 

[Mujahideen92]

I dont see anything wrong with the marriage of Aisha and Muhammad(SAW). They both lived very happily together, some people go about it as if Aisha was under oppression in this marriage.

Muhammad(SAW) died in Aisha's lap and she cried intensely

 

[julesfly]

Thankyou Guestfellow. That means alot. I am aware that things were very different back then and still are very different in many modern cultures. I try to remind myself that my beliefs are an outcome of the social conditioning I have recieved (which doesn't make them automatically right) and try to remain tolerant and open minded about those views formed in different cultural environments. Thanks again.

 

[AbdullahSyed]

Sounds like you are brainwashed!
Surely Mohammad's life and behaviour should be beyond reproach!
It is recorded that Aisha was still playing with dolls when she was married!
And how does comparisons with the customs of Arab non muslims at the time and the kuffar at any time in history come in to it?
Surely, whatever Mohammad did, had to be sanctioned by allah!
Therefore, does allah sanction child marriage today?

Surely Mohammad's life and behaviour should be beyond reproach!

Prove to me his (peace be upon him) message was wrong. If the message is wrong then there is no need for us debate over his(peace be upon him) personal life. But if his message is right then agian there is no need for us to debate his (peace be upon him) personal life. You get the idea!

Its not about Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) life its about his (peace be upon him) message. You are only deluding yourself and others by ignoring the message.

It is recorded that Aisha was still playing with dolls when she was married!

Congratulations, so you can read. What does this have to do with anything? She R.a. played with dolls and???

And how does comparisons with the customs of Arab non muslims at the time and the kuffar at any time in history come in to it?

I could careless about the customs of Arab back in the days. Its some Muslims who seem to keep bringing up customs of Arabs. In reality, this marriage had less to do with Arab custom more to do with divine ruling.

Surely, whatever Mohammad did, had to be sanctioned by allah!
Therefore, does allah sanction child marriage today?

If by child marriage you are refering to Aisha R.a. marrying Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) then yes this is sanctioned by Allah. But as far as Muslims marrying women at young age. Shaykh Anwar Al Awlaki says this ruling is only for the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) not the other men.

 

[AbdullahSyed]

She wasnt married at 9, she was engaged at 9. She was married a year or two later. Atleast according to my biography

Akhi try to get your facts straight. She R.A. was six when she the Nikah was done and she was nine when she moved in with Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

 

[Karl]

If by child marriage you are refering to Aisha R.a. marrying Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) then yes this is sanctioned by Allah. But as far as Muslims marrying women at young age. Shaykh Anwar Al Awlaki says this ruling is only for the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) not the other men.

You are completely right that child marriage is sanctioned by Allah, but what I do object to is any such deceptive claims about it only being granted Allah's ratification solely and exclusively to Prophet Muhammed (PBUH). Asserting that "what was good for Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) is not a good model for the common man to follow" is clearly an apologetic cop-out tactic to try and repackage and politically correctify Islam to be more "user friendly" with the contemporary West. Such claims that only Muhammed himself (PBUH) should follow Allah's intentions can only be tantamount to heresy.

It is utterly preposterous to suggest that a prophet should lead by double standards and hypocrisy. This is because these are amongst the greatest sins against Allah. A prophet is meant to LEAD BY EXAMPLE, NOT by hypocrisy, double standards and special privileges! It is only patently logical that if child marriage WAS hypothetically considered "haram" for the "common man", then Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) simply would NOT have married Aisha. Why? Well because he would have been well aware that the common man would have been closely observing his paragon and trying to emulate it. He would not have wanted to risk giving the "wrong" message to his followers, particularly simple followers who could easily have misconceived his "privileged haram" to be halal instead. Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) was egalitarian and he didn't consider himself to be more deserving of privileges than anyone else. He was constantly stating that he was no more than the messenger of Allah, he did NOT consider himself to be privileged like some self deifying Pharaoh or group of self privileged hypocrites such as the Pharisees.

 

[Karl]

Wow, you are right we really do have different morals. I didn't realise how different till i read this. Came onto this forum to learn more and have tried to remain open minded but i am finding this very difficult to get my head round. Is this the genaral view re child brides? I do not believe it is. Although i find this hard to deal with I will still try to respect others views and not make inflammatory remarks. Wish the author of this post could do the same. FYI we non-muslims are not all immoral, drunken *****s with no values out to denigrate and disrespect your religion. imsad

Look julesfly, I simply don't even regard this so called "child brides" thing as an "issue" to begin with, it has only been because the modern day West has decided to make some big deal out of it that us Muslims have had to exhaustively and repetitiously bother ourselves going into rebutting all the ridiculous inanity and nitty gritty bs. The numerical age anyone happens to marry should be no more of a "social issue" than what school (if any) you want to send your daughter to. At the end of the day all these things are a PRIVATE matter and not up to anyone else other than the family themselves to make judgments and decisions on. Different parents will always have different ideas about how to raise their offspring, plain and simple fact of the matter. I can't see why some people seem to think that it's so imperative that everyone arrives at some kind of "unanimous agreement" on this. Not only is this completely unrealistic to achieve, but also I not some sort of busybody cummunist who's interested in meddling into anyone else's private business. How I raise my own offspring in none of anyone's business, nor is how they raise their offspring my business. People should just do their own thing and raise their OWN offspring AS THEY SEE FIT. Once everyone can re-learn that traditional principle and the maxim that "a man's house is his castle", the world will be a much more harmonious place for it.

 

[AbdullahSyed]

You are completely right that child marriage is sanctioned by Allah, but what I do object to is any such deceptive claims about it only being granted Allah's ratification solely and exclusively to Prophet Muhammed (PBUH). Asserting that "what was good for Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) is not a good model for the common man to follow" is clearly an apologetic cop-out tactic to try and repackage and politically correctify Islam to be more "user friendly" with the contemporary West. Such claims that only Muhammed himself (PBUH) should follow Allah's intentions can only be tantamount to heresy.

We are not scholars but Shaykh Anwar Al Awlaki is and he has never seemed to try to please the west. He always spoke his mind. Also, don't forget Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was allowed to marry more then 4 women. There were exceptions for the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

 

[GuestFellow]

^ Yes we are not here to please the non-Muslims. Just provide more information and clarification.

 

[julesfly]

SO WHAT even if they ARE "children"? Why does everyone need to think of marriage and its sexual context only in visions of bestial violent thrusting commonly perceived as part of the process of reproduction itself? The love life of a married couple is far more exploratory and imaginative than that! Just because a husband may go to bed with his child bride does NOT automatically mean that they will try and actually reproduce. Besides, this will usually not be the case anyway because it is a sheer scientific impossibility for the prepubescent girl to be able to bare young. However, there is the exploratory, erotic, experimental and sensual sides of love making that is absent of actual coitus, and this is an indulgence that a husband and his child bride are able to enjoy without the need for the unrealistic burden of actual reproduction itself at a too young age. Unlike the prudish attitudes towards sexual matters of the Judeo-Christian faiths, Islam is open minded and positive towards sex and erotic love making between husband and wife. Age per se is irrelevant under Islam and is NOT a prerequisite to sexual relations; rather, it is MARRIAGE itself that renders sexual relations halal.

The above comment is not in relationship to the prophet but regarding Islam in general. Does the religion condone sex (whether ''actual coitus'' or not) with children? Do other muslims on the forum agree with this? Do you think a little girl can ''enjoy exploratory, erotic, experimental and sensual love making''? There are men in all cultures who have convinced themselves this is the case and we have our own names for them. All over the forum people state that a woman has a choice whether or not to marry. Do you really believe a girl with a meagre 9 years of life experience has the ability to make her own informed choices on these types of matters. Are they capable of taking crucial decisions which are essential for marriage under Quranic guidance, like taking solemn pledge, ascertaining mutual attraction, agreeing to the dowry (including adjustment thereto), ascertaining whether the opposite person is an idol worshipper or not and many other issues. Further, marriage involves taking serious responsibilities on the part of both the spouses concerning the upbringing of the family, which a child is incapable of taking. If you disagree with this then i think it is sooooo important that you openly condemn this.

 

[Rasema]

The above comment is not in relationship to the prophet but regarding Islam in general. Does the religion condone sex (whether ''actual coitus'' or not) with children? Do other muslims on the forum agree with this? Do you think a little girl can ''enjoy exploratory, erotic, experimental and sensual love making''? There are men in all cultures who have convinced themselves this is the case and we have our own names for them. All over the forum people state that a woman has a choice whether or not to marry. Do you really believe a girl with a meagre 9 years of life experience has the ability to make her own informed choices on these types of matters. Are they capable of taking crucial decisions which are essential for marriage under Quranic guidance, like taking solemn pledge, ascertaining mutual attraction, agreeing to the dowry (including adjustment thereto), ascertaining whether the opposite person is an idol worshipper or not and many other issues. Further, marriage involves taking serious responsibilities on the part of both the spouses concerning the upbringing of the family, which a child is incapable of taking. If you disagree with this then i think it is sooooo important that you openly condemn this.

1) Prophet Muhammad's marriage to A'isha was normal by all standards of society.
2) A'isha was a healthy young girl before he married her, she agreed to the marriage, and she grew up to be one of the greatest Muslims (both man and woman) to have ever existed.
3) You are shaped by your own society's definition of normal and abnormal, therefore in a society that considers this to be wrong, you are more likely to reciprocate the same sentiments.



So because something does not sit well with our minds and hearts, we should convince ourselves that it must not be true? Let me give you an example. When I first heard that Muslim men are allowed to have sexual relations with their female slaves, I thought to myself, based entirely on the influence western upbringing has had on my mind, that this simply CANNOT be true. And now? I've accepted it. If not, I would have ended up calling certain verses in the Qur'an as being "unreliable".

For God's sake, look at what this man's saying:

The Prophet was an exemplary man. All his actions were most virtuous so that we, Muslims, can emulate them. However, most people in our Islamic Center of Toledo, including me, would not think of betrothing our seven years daughter to a fifty-two year-old man. If a parent agrees to such a wedding, most people, if not all, would look down upon the father and the old husband.

He is judging Hadiths based entirely on his upbringing, and that of people around him. "People would not find it acceptable". "I do not find it acceptable". "If it is considered unacceptable, then there is no way Islam would condone it". How ridiculous. In the west (where he obviously lives), certain things are considered taboo. People who do these things are social outcasts and are shunned by society. Should we look at the Qur'an and the Hadiths through their eyes? If something does not seem right to us because we've been taught otherwise, would we go out of our way to convince ourself and others that it is wrong? He would have received a bit of respect from me if his motives weren't so horrendous to begin with.

I'm sorry, friends, but the day I take a westernized physician's opinions over those of esteemed scholars (both the past and the present), is the day that I relinquish Islam. Not to mention his facts are dubious and grossly biased.







However, your argument that it's damaging to the girl isn't always true, because A'isha was a mentally, emotionally and physically fit young girl who grew up to be a mentally, emotionally and physically fit woman. Anyone who learns about her life will discover that she was never traumatized in her marriage to prophet Muhammad.

Where I'm from and where a majority of the posters are from, it's perfectly normal for any young person, male or female, to be married. This is because our boys and girls mature a lot faster than western children do. By the age of 10, most boys are bringing in money to the family and most girls are looking after the entire household. Different conditions and social values create for different results.

Do I support marriage when there are huge age differences? No. If anything, prophet Muhammad encouraged people to marry those who're in their age group. Nor do I consider it okay for an old man to desire marriage to a young girl for no reason other than her youth. That's disturbing. But if you look at prophet Muhammad's lifestyle, character and even marriage history, you'll realize that he had no preference for young girls, nor did he marry her for any reason beyond forming ties between two households.

A'isha was engaged to another man before prophet Muhammad. That man was a non-Muslim and the engagement was broken. It wasn't unusual for young girls to be married during that period of time. The same was happening all over the world, from Africa to Europe to Asia.

Your aversion to such a marriage is really based on your own societal norms. And those Muslims who do not believe A'isha was young probably have the same upbringing. And when they learn about something they find hard to believe, they reject it outright.





Sexual relationship with minor or imature girl is not strange in the human history. Irrespective it is declared as legal or illegal, men of every ages had been involved in sexual relationship with younger girl in all nations of the world. Historical records also confirm that it is a common trends for men, specially those having wealth and power, to marry with younger and beautiful girls. Even today, in all (so called) developed countries, men are (offcourse illegally) involved having sex with imature girls too. Official reports confirm that today it is rare to find any 'bachelor girl' in the secondary classes of usa schools. Isn't mean that sex with younger girls are common even now a days?

Islam doesn't believe on hypocrisy or double standard. That's why Islam allow men to marry (i.e. only a 'legal-sexual relationship') all ages of girls. Marriage, in islam, is a social contract between a male and female in the presence of at least two adult men as witness. For marriage in islam, it is compulsory that 1) both male and female are willingly agreed 2) father or legal patron of female is agreed too. 3) If girl is too younger /immature, willing of her father / patron alone is enough 4) similarly if female is re-marrying (in case of widow or dovorced lady) her alone will is enough 4) At least two respectable muslim adult men are agreed to witness that marriage 5) male agree to pay such marrige-gift (called mahar) which is acceptable to female.

Every one can see that in islam, though it is allowed to marry with younger girl, but Almighty God has put several conditions, and without fulfiling these condition no man can marry any younger girl. And marriage in islam is always take place in open meeting. If parents dont want to marry their younger girls, no one can force them to do so. But if they agree, no one is allowed to interfere into the marriage of a younger girl even with a aged man.

Now let's see the permission of Almighty Allah (God), allowing such marriages. Quran clearly says.

1. O you who believe! When you marry believing women, and then divorce them before you have sexual intercourse with them, no iddah (divorce prescribed period) have you to count in respect of them. So give them a present, and set them free (i.e. divorce), in a handsome manner. (Al-Ahzab-49)

2. And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the 'Iddah (prescribed periods), if you have doubt (about their period), is three months, and for those who have no courses (i.e. they are still immature) their 'Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise, except in case of death . And for those who are pregnant (whether they are divorced or their husbands are dead), their 'Iddah (prescribed period) is until they laydown their burden, and whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make his matter easy for him. (Talaq-4)

In second verse Allah mentions 'iddah periods' for divorce is three months for such girl who have no courses (i.e. they are still immature). And in first verse, Allah says that there is no 'iddah periods' if you divorce without sexual intercourse. It means that a man can have sexual intercourse with his younger or immature wife.

Now let's see the marriage case of Muhammad (peace be upon him) with hazrat Ayesha RA. Though it is not confirmed that her age at the time of marriage was just six. some also says that she was 11 at that time. But for the sake of argument, we agree that her age was six. Then what is wrong with it. Quran allows such marriage. Hazrat Abu bakar siddiq RA willingly married his daughter Ayesha with his friend and prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). This marriage was took place openly and no one opposed it. Was it a illegal or unethical act by any means? This is another story that why Hazrat Muhammad (peace be upon him) decided to marry with younger Ayesha RA. Our Prophet knew that he was not only sent towards men but towards women too. Being a men, HE (pbuh) can not easily convey Almighty God's message to women community. And HE (pbuh) also knew that after His death, only younger hazrat Ayesha RA can convey islam's message to women community for a longer period. that's why HE (pbuh) decided to have a younger wife. Other wise at the young age of 25 our prophet Muhammad (pbuh) chose a widfow of 40 years (hazrat Khadeejah tul kubraa RA) to marry. Muhammad (pbuh) was a man of character in that corrupted society. And this was witnessed by His several enemies as well.

 

[Rasema]

The above was not written by myself.

 

[Rasema]

Does the religion condone sex (whether ''actual coitus'' or not) with children? Do other muslims on the forum agree with this? Do you think a little girl can ''enjoy exploratory, erotic, experimental and sensual love making''?

What is your argument? That a nine year old cannot have sex?

Do you really believe a girl with a meagre 9 years of life experience has the ability to make her own informed choices on these types of matters.

"A'isha was engaged to another man before prophet Muhammad. That man was a non-Muslim and the engagement was broken. It wasn't unusual for young girls to be married during that period of time. The same was happening all over the world, from Africa to Europe to Asia."


A'isha was a healthy young girl before he married her, she agreed to the marriage, and she grew up to be one of the greatest Muslims (both man and woman) to have ever existed.

Are they capable of taking crucial decisions which are essential for marriage under Quranic guidance, like taking solemn pledge, ascertaining mutual attraction, agreeing to the dowry (including adjustment thereto), ascertaining whether the opposite person is an idol worshipper or not and many other issues.

That is why she grew up to be the most knowledgeable thus healthy physically and emotinally.

 

[amalteser]

You are completely right that child marriage is sanctioned by Allah, but what I do object to is any such deceptive claims about it only being granted Allah's ratification solely and exclusively to Prophet Muhammed (PBUH). Asserting that "what was good for Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) is not a good model for the common man to follow" is clearly an apologetic cop-out tactic to try and repackage and politically correctify Islam to be more "user friendly" with the contemporary West. Such claims that only Muhammed himself (PBUH) should follow Allah's intentions can only be tantamount to heresy.

It is utterly preposterous to suggest that a prophet should lead by double standards and hypocrisy. This is because these are amongst the greatest sins against Allah. A prophet is meant to LEAD BY EXAMPLE, NOT by hypocrisy, double standards and special privileges! It is only patently logical that if child marriage WAS hypothetically considered "haram" for the "common man", then Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) simply would NOT have married Aisha. Why? Well because he would have been well aware that the common man would have been closely observing his paragon and trying to emulate it. He would not have wanted to risk giving the "wrong" message to his followers, particularly simple followers who could easily have misconceived his "privileged haram" to be halal instead. Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) was egalitarian and he didn't consider himself to be more deserving of privileges than anyone else. He was constantly stating that he was no more than the messenger of Allah, he did NOT consider himself to be privileged like some self deifying Pharaoh or group of self privileged hypocrites such as the Pharisees.

So on this basis then, is any muslim on this forum willing to see a young girl in their family married to a 50 year old man?

Is there any adult muslim man say 18 years or older who wants to be allowed to marry a young girl?