Pushing me against the edge

[AnonymousPoster]

I hate injustice. People in my life tend to always end up harming me one way or another. I'd like to keep my calmness n my positive attitude. But yet again I am being taught that being kind, honest, tolerable are attributes of the weak. My kindness is being interpreted as a weakness of mine. I don't know why, why can't I be happy? They see me smile and come rushing to destroy it.

I have been raised to be humble, but how long can I stay this way in this world that seems to kick me down wen I try to be good?

I know someone who's a compulsive liar, how long can I see this person lie and look away? I have seen this person, lie even about me, I have forgiven and not confronted, because in the past I learned that I cannot get this person to admit anything, at the end of the day we will argue, and this person will go to bed and sleep, while I lay awake in shock.

I am also reminded "I am older, so u can't just speak up to me, take my word thats it".

But I just heard you lie? I will get lots of yelling, get manipulated, guilt tripping me. I never hear "sorry"..I wonder what I did? I only asked why did you lie? I get attacked belittled.

I have seen this person lie about their health just to get people worked up and worry.

When this person wrongs me, they will never say sorry. I have to just deal wit it and that's it. I did try to talk it out, but the conversation turns one sided, I never get to say how I feel, cause the person dominates everything.

I feel like I am talking to shaytan. I sit there, all I hear is yelling, no one even notices me.

People have stopped dealing wit this person, everyone says "let it be, this person is hopeless".

What about the pain I feel when I see the injustice that this person inflicts upon me?

I can forgive, but I still feel the pain. I seriously fear for this persons hereafter.

I have come to terms with the reality, that if I want to seek any justice from this person, will be the day I show this person my bad side. Like, yell back, show no respect, give a taste of their own medicine. I think only this will get this person to wake up. Which I cannot do, that's like destroying my chances of entering paradise. I keep getting walked over.

It's like this person is pulling me towards hell....I feel like if I keep getting kicked down, soon my innocent shell will break and evil will take over me.

 

[Zahida]

Sounds like you have alot of patience................ just think of it this way don't let this person destroy you they are the weak ones. If they have to belittle you and put you down it's only to make themselve feel better.

I think you are to be admired because you are taking it, i don't feel sorry for you but i feel sorry for the person doing this because they obviously have insecurities...................

Continue with your salat and continue to make dua that Allah makes you strong and gives you subur.
May Allah ease your difficulties and replace them with happiness. Things never remain the same.

 

[highway_trekker]

Its good to be balanced, aware and a little self-trusting. Trust yourself, be proud of your good qualites and hold on to them. But at the same time be aware of when to add weight to one side of the pivot... one way wont get you through every situation, help you with every person. People are different, situations too. There are some situations that require calmness and a kind persona. Other situations may call for a more on-your-feet thinking and without being unkind a more 'harsher' approach. But I do not think that calmness, a positive attitude, kindness, honesty, tolerability are attributes of the weak. I think in all situations it is possible to be kind, honest, positive and tolerable. I just think you have to recognise those who you dont click with and those you do. Those who seem to bring out the worse in you and those who dont. And once you have done that try to best to be in the company of those who better you and realise that inevitably you will sometimes in some places be in the company of those where you feel like a fish out of water. But be yourself, be strong-dont allow people to walk over you or take advantage of you-and you dont have to be cruel to achieve this- you just have to have self-respect and belief. And no, sometimes humans do 'yell back' do shout and scream and make people to face up to their wrongs...thats not wrong or bad. Its human. We naturally seek a state of justice and peace...we want harmony not discord. And sometimes the volano just has to erupt. And that release of pressure is the best thing that could of happened or it would have been channeled elsewhere with worse consequences.

If you can, avoid this person or situation. If you cant, resort to the mutual kind of relationship, one where you just exchange the formalities. Dont trust that person and dont lose your temper too much with them-in that way you dont feel like you have succumed to weakness. If you are aware of them like alot of people are then let them be. You can avoid their injustices just by staying out of the way and having no attachments to them. But no one needs to be in a relationship that is unjust, oppressive and hurtful. Thats your basic right, to be happy.

And at the end of the day, dont be pushed OFF the edge.

May Allaah make easy your affairs.

Wassalaamu 'alaykum