Question About Friends etc?

[solfa]

Assalam alaikum~
I've yet to recite the shahadah, but I 100% plan to :statisfie I guess it's ultimately up to me, but I would like to know when would be a good time to do this? How was it for everyone else?
I want to be open about my faith and just get this off my chest. I have a friend who asked when I was planning on doing this and told me it's better to do it sooner than later ("Just in case something happens to you"). My family doesn't know and I know they wouldn't be supportive, but above anything, my desire to please God is more important (as harsh as that probably sounds. I'm not a horrible daughter, I swear! D
Once it's official, I know my life is going to need some tweaking here and there. I have one question about friends. My group of friends consists mainly of atheists, agnostics, christians, and catholics. I've known a majority of them since elementary so we're very close. Is is okay for me to still remain friends with them? I don't really know a lot of Muslims, so this is why I'm asking. Also, my friends are male and female. But, I'm not really allowed to associate with my guy friends anymore, am I? There's no romantic aspect to any of my relationships, just friendship, but I still get the feeling that it's not allowed. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you very much!

 

[serena77]

Solfa
Salaam
welcome to the board... I wanted to say thank you for asking because when i do the same ... i will have the same issues. i've had some friends who are male going on 20 years. Also i grew up as one of the guys... dated none of them... but hung out w/ them a lot.. and its hard for me to make female friends. its not that i don't want to... but its actually kinda a foreign concept for me. . i have a couple of online female friends and a couple of female friends at work.. but thats really all. So thank you for asking a question i was too nervous too and I hope those who are more able to will answer us.
Congrats on being ready to take the shahadah... i'm' trying to get to that point.. 'im very close .. but not quite prepared.
Serena

 

[IAmZamzam]

I don't know of any scriptural prohibition of being platonic friends with a person of the opposite sex, but rest assured that someone will chime in here in no time insisting that it's haraam. Unless these people offer supportable interpretations of passages from the Koran and/or Sunnah, do not give them the time of day. The one and only trait you can be certain you will universally find in equal amounts amongst the devout of every single religion on earth is disapproval. It's the chief capital and gross natural export of the pious worldwide.

As for taking the shahadah, it is supposed to be done in front of a minimum of two Muslim witnesses. Ideally you should take it in front of the congregation at the mosque, but if you have no fellow Muslims around you (and probably there are a lot more than you think around you, regardless of where you are), you can always use us as your witnesses right here. I've seen more than one person take the shahadah before a message board, some of whom were my own converts (by the grace of Allah). I still pull for the congregational thing but the important factor is that the shahadah gets made at all.

 

[solfa]

Oh, I have made a couple Muslim friends. A sister had encouraged me to make my first visit to the mosque a couple weeks ago, actually :} I was just a bit confused about non-Muslim friends/guy friends. Even if some people say it's okay, I just want to be the best I can be, that's why I'm so cautious.
I've also looked around for anyone with the same problem and found a few boards, but the only responses said that it's haram for me (and anyone in my situation) to maintain my friendship with my guy friends. I just want to make sure.
Thank you very much for your reply, Yahya and Serena~!!! :smile:

 

[Rafeeq]

Peace to be on you sister solfa.

When you study Islam and ready to say Shahada, it means you are agreeing with the idealogy of Islam whcih prohibits the inter sextual relations. As a matter of fact, you have to enter Islam completely, I understand (I am not scholare and some one with better understanding may differ my point of view), you may remain in contact with your friends initially. Soon you will get close to muslim sisters and will quit it yourself. Islam is prectical religion and it believe in training. Little by little, you will automatically feel burdoned with male friends.

 

[Samiro]

My family doesn't know and I know they wouldn't be supportive, but above anything, my desire to please God is more important (as harsh as that probably sounds. I'm not a horrible daughter, I swear! D

You dont sound like a horrible daughter at all. Its quite couragious.

Im not sure when the best time is, but I often see people taking the shahada at the Friday prayer. But indeed as your friend said, do it as soon as possible.

Also search for a thread called "is it halal to stay in the USA" and see the post by Muraad (Id post the link but I cant yet).

 

[YusufNoor]

Assalam alaikum~
I've yet to recite the shahadah, but I 100% plan to :statisfie I guess it's ultimately up to me, but I would like to know when would be a good time to do this? How was it for everyone else?

the shahada is kind of like action statement, meaning from this point on i will worship none but Allah as none but Allah is worthy of worship[first part] and i will do so in the manner prescribed the Muhammad ibn Abdullah, Salla Allahu Alayhe wa Salaam [2nd part]; once you understand the 1st part, you should move to the shahadah ASAP.

I want to be open about my faith and just get this off my chest. I have a friend who asked when I was planning on doing this and told me it's better to do it sooner than later ("Just in case something happens to you"). My family doesn't know and I know they wouldn't be supportive, but above anything, my desire to please God is more important (as harsh as that probably sounds. I'm not a horrible daughter, I swear! D

being a Muslim is more important than "advertising" that you are a Muslim. one of the main Pillars of Faith [as opposed to the 5 Pillars of Islam] is belief in Qadr, Allah's Preordainment and Decree. in others words, Allah CHOSE this time for you to become a believer and so while you may have some trepidation and fear, Allah is keenly aware and knows EXACTLY what you are going through and what obstacles you face. just seek His Help and Guidance.

Once it's official, I know my life is going to need some tweaking here and there. I have one question about friends. My group of friends consists mainly of atheists, agnostics, christians, and catholics. I've known a majority of them since elementary so we're very close. Is is okay for me to still remain friends with them? I don't really know a lot of Muslims, so this is why I'm asking. Also, my friends are male and female. But, I'm not really allowed to associate with my guy friends anymore, am I? There's no romantic aspect to any of my relationships, just friendship, but I still get the feeling that it's not allowed. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you very much!

Salaam Sisters,

sometimes the question is not whether you can remain with your friends, but whether your friends will remain with you! you "KNOW" your folks won't react well, but somehow assume your friends will think it's OK!? Allah decides everything, not us or our friends. once you begin to learn about and understand Islam, you will begin to view life differently and eventually you will be at odds with some of the behavior of your friends. and Allah knows best.

now, MANY well meaning brothers and sisters will seek to assist by "helping" you and telling you "that's haram" and "that's haram!" the MOST important thing is LA ILAHA ILALLA! the Companions of the Prophet, the Sahabah, had very little Shariah [law] for 13 years! initially, pray twice a day, don't worship idols or associate partners with Allah and don't kill your babies if you have a girl. THAT'S IT! and they HAD the Prophet right there with them and MANY were Muslims in secret!!

i'm guessing you had no idea about that!

Riba [interest] was stopped in stages and not ruled out completely until the Prophet gave his famous Hajj farewell sermon, SHORTLY BEFORE HE DIED! [May Allah grant him the Highest and most respected place on Jannah!]

alcohol wasn't banned until AFTER the hijrah to Medinah! [you'll see the Qur'an say 3 different things about alcohol which SEEM to contradict each other, but they were just revealed at different times]

its hard for me to make female friends. its not that i don't want to... but its actually kinda a foreign concept for me. .

which do you think is better:

be a believer that might have a male friend or 2

OR

be a nonbeliever?

simple choice, isn't it?

when it comes to the Sharia, NEVER deny it! just seek help and guidance with Allah. don't sweat those of us that seem to judge you. as we say in al Fatihah, Maliki Yawmid Deen! Allah is the ONLY owner of the Day of Judgment, not any of us!

and after reciting that we say:

Iyyah k'nabudu wa Iyyah k'nesta'een; You alone we worship and You alone we seek help! when you delay Shahadah it's like you believe it's OK to worship other than Allah! May Allah protect us from such!

the next verse:

Idhinas Siratal Mustaqeem! guide us to the straight way! at least 17 times a day we ask Allah to guide us! if you know that and understand that, it is a du'a made to Allah! THAT du'a you can make as often as you like!

always try to move closer to the "straight way," but remember:

La Hawla wa La Quwatta Illa Billah; the is no movement and no power but by Allah's permission.

May Allah assist you and guide you and may He assist us and guide us as well!

:wa:

 

[tigerkhan]

sorry i cant reply to ur qst but just i want to say "friends are imp in life, and in one hadith its said that man is on religion of his friend. so u will be lucky if u have some good and supportive friends. i thnk islamcally opp sex friends are allowed in islam, but i think u can have a contact to some scholar and knowledgeable person for guidance.

 

[Tyrion]

I don't know of any scriptural prohibition of being platonic friends with a person of the opposite sex, but rest assured that someone will chime in here in no time insisting that it's haraam. Unless these people offer supportable interpretations of passages from the Koran and/or Sunnah, do not give them the time of day. The one and only trait you can be certain you will universally find in equal amounts amongst the devout of every single religion on earth is disapproval. It's the chief capital and gross natural export of the pious worldwide.

Two posts later...

When you study Islam and ready to say Shahada, it means you are agreeing with the idealogy of Islam whcih prohibits the inter sextual relations.

Haha, sorry, but that just made me chuckle.