Question about Istikhar prayers and dreams

[A.I]

Salam Alaykum,

There was a non-Muslim lady who I crossed path about 5 months ago in my area who is going through hardship and life circumstances. She disappeared after 3 months. We’re both in our mid 30s.

I made duas and Tahajjud prayers to liberate her from her situation and to turn her life around. She gave me a reality of what real hardship is like but something really hit me emotionally about her for the first time later after she disappeared.

Looking back, I don’t talk to people outside of work due to terrible anciety and other mental issues but that one was sudden and I went out of character to look past her issues. I repeatedly asked Allah, why?

I made Istikhara prayers in the end pleading to give me a sign to move on or is she important then in the same night I had a “glimpse” of a dream about her with a Muslim female and a male showing up at my place to talk about marriage. I woke up for Fajr in disbelief and relayed this over and over.

Does anyone know if this is a sign that crossing path with each other was not an accident or is it just a dream?

Thanks

 

[Muhaba]

With Istikhara prayer, you leave it to Allah. If it is good and meant to happen, it will. You don’t need to pursue it. Since the lady is a non-Muslim, avoid falling into haram relationship. Regarding nonmuslims, a Muslim man can only marry a Christian or Jew woman (People of the Book), not atheist, agnostic, Buddhist, or other religion. You may also need to consider whether the woman is a monotheist. Speak to a scholar about the requirements for marrying a non-Muslim woman. Converting her to Islam is preferred because she will affect the religion and character of your children.

When making a marriage decision, You need to consider a lot of things such as their views on raising children, views on the trans and gender dysphoria issues (you don’t want her to turn your children into trans), religion, mixing with nonmahram men, etc. I believe only chaste women (muhsanat) from the People of the Book can get married to Muslim men.

Since she has disappeared, try to forget her and move on. Pursuing her or trying to find her can cause you to get into trouble as it may be regarded as stalking / harassment and there are strict laws against that.

If the situation changes and you see that you have reconnected by chance, do istikhara prayer again and proceed for marriage through your family / the Muslim community (imam, people in your masjid, etc).

 

[A.I]

Jzk, i’ll put my mind at ease and try to forget because she knows my location/contact number.

It just felt surreal considering the timing of it. I did istikhar prayer before bed after I came back from taraweh prayers then had that dream which never happened before. Maybe i’m overthinking.

She’s got the same type of mental illness as me which is why I felt a bit emotional.

 

[Muhaba]

May Allah give you both shifa.

Jzk, i’ll put my mind at ease and try to forget because she knows my location/contact number.

It just felt surreal considering the timing of it. I did istikhar prayer before bed after I came back from taraweh prayers then had that dream which never happened before. Maybe i’m overthinking.

She’s got the same type of mental illness as me which is why I felt a bit emotional.

 

[ahmadmuslim]

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh,

I have a question regarding Istikhara and would appreciate guidance from knowledgeable brothers and sisters.

Is performing Istikhara using the Qur’an through online platforms considered permissible in Islam? Nowadays, many websites offer services where a person makes a sincere intention, recites a supplication, and then receives guidance through randomly selected verses from the Qur’an.


Jazakum Allahu Khayran for your insights.

 

[Muhammad]

@ahmadmuslim وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

Istikharah prayer is an individual’s personal seeking of guidance from Allāh concerning decisions they need to make. It is a dialogue between the individual and Allah سبحانه وتعالى.

It is narrated that the Prophet ﷺ used to teach the Companions Istikharah for all matters just as he used to teach them the Surahs of the Qur'an [Sahih al-Bukhari #1166].

So every Muslim should learn how to pray Istikharah because of its great importance and need. It is not normal practice to ask someone else to do this on one’s behalf and some scholars don’t permit this practice. Istikharah is connected to the person who is seeking guidance concerning the thing he wants to do. Especially in the case of asking people one doesn’t know to make Istikharah, or people of questionable motives–especially when there is payment involved–this would appear to be something to be wary of.

Secondly, the result of the Istikharah is not necessarily that a person sees something (in his dream) and it is not by randomly selecting verses from the Qur’an. Istikharah is a sincere prayer for guidance, a humble request for Allah to pave the way for what is beneficial and to divert us from what is detrimental. So the most important result of the Istikharah is whether a person is enabled to do a given matter or not i.e. when Allah makes something easy for you after having decreed it and accepted your Du`a this is a sign that it is good to go ahead and do it. The existence of obstacles and difficulties is an indication that Allah is pushing His slave away from doing it. This meaning will be very clear when one ponders the meaning of the du’a made in Istikharah:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلاَ أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلاَ أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلاَّمُ الْغُيُوبِ اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ

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Translation:

O Allah, I seek Your guidance (in making a choice) by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, and I do not. You know, and I know not, and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah, if You know that this matter [mention the thing to be decided] is good for me in my religion, my livelihood, my worldly affairs, and in the hereafter then decree it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if You know that this matter is bad for me in my religion, my livelihood, my worldly affairs, and in the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it, and decree for me the good wherever it may be and make me content with it.

And Allah سبحانه وتعالى knows best.