Question about my life

[Ismael18]

This is my first post on any forum ever, so I’m sorry if I don’t know if I’m doing anything right. I am going to vent a lot so I’m sorry in advance. I am 23 years old Muslim man, still live at home with my parents and I have about 3 semesters left of college. About two years ago I got caught smoking weed by my parents, who are very old fashioned and very religious people, which devastated them. At that point my life took a complete 180 degree turn. I lost all my friends, I quit my old job and my parents don’t even trust me anymore.

During those two years I did nothing but work at a new job and continue going to school. I am barley passing school and I am on academic probation this semester. I don’t have any friends and outside of work and family I don’t talk to anyone. At school I talk to people about class work but I don’t have anyone to talk to about other things just being friends. I am lonely and I feel alone no matter who’s around me. My dad went to visit our family in another country about a week ago. The other day my friend and I smoked, when I went home my mom smelled it on me and could tell that I wasn’t sober. This broke all the trust I gained back after 2 years.

We we are having some issues with family and my parents are super stressed right now, especially my dad. When my mom caught me the other day I lied about not smoking it and I said I was around people who were smoking, I don’t think she believes me but that’s what we kind of agreed on. We also agreed not to tell my dad when he comes back in a couple days.

Now i I guess my question is that what do I do? I feel lost, alone, and afraid. I want to turn to Allah but lately it’s been hard for me to stay on the right path. It’s difficult for me to pray and be a good Muslim. I feel like I’m doing a chore when I have to do something related to Islam especially praying. How do I fix that feeling. I want Allah in my life. I want to be a better person. I’m tired of feeling alone and lost. Even before I got caught the second time, I’ve been feeling alone and lost. I just need some guidance and I have no one to talk to. I really need help and advice. Please.

 

[RisingLight]

Salam alaikum brother

I will let the other guys who are more knowledgeable to give you a better advice.I would just like to say,that from my experience,as I am going through a lot too,the more we sin we harder performing the salah is.If we sin less and pray more,one day it wont feel like a chore,am sure.Also try to pray tahajjud everyday,its amazing,and its just 2 rakkah if you want.

About weed you can go cold turkey or you can smoke less and less until you eventually stop smoking.The first method is harder but better.Btw why dont you seek to get married? You wont feel alone then.

And whenever you need someone to talk to,just send me a msg.May Allah make everything easier and better for you and I wish you feel better soon.Peace bro

 

[rainydays]

Salam alaylum
I would kindly suggest for you to listen to some quran, and if you can also read a little bit of quran now and then. It will help to make make praying easier and a lot less like a chore. Also the trust you have with Allah is greater as with your family, so do try to quit smoking..
hope this advice helps..

 

[Rainy Day]

Watch some Islamic lectures on YouTube and listen to the Quran daily, it will clam you down and you'll feel more connected to Allah. When you pray, make Du'a ask Allah for help and ask lots of forgiveness by just saying Astughfirullah, or pray 2 rakaat and ask Allah for forgiveness sincerely. Allah is merciful so turn to him with sincere heart and he will make a way out for you and guide you In sha Allah. Think about death, when you think about death, you'll realize that the problem in this world is so little compared to the hereafter, and when you focus on the hereafter, you would want to do more good deeds and try to get closer to Allah

Never despair of the mercy of Allah, you can change yourself to become a better person, it's never too late, remember Allah forgives all sins.
May Allah blesses you brother.

 

[rainydays]

salam sister my twin?!!
Though I cant edit my post, jazakallahkahyran youre 100% righr correction about reading quran daily and frequently is better than now and then. Unfortunately for me it is 'easier said than done' atm, but I wish to add that we should all make effort to read quran often inshallah.. In a hadith :
"If the servant draws near to Me a hand span, I draw near to him an arm’s length; and if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I come to him running.

Narrated by Al-Bukhari. ( I copied-and-pasted it from the source of more info: https://islam4me.wordpress.com/2008/10/18/regarding-the-hadith-he-who-draws-near-to-me-a-hand-span-i-draw-near-to-him-an-arm’s-length/)

I think quran is quickest to draw near to Allah god. May we all at least try!! ameen.