Questions about university

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EgyptPrincess

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As-salam alaikum,

This is a question mostly to sisters but brothers can speak of their experiences too.

What were your first impressions of uni? Is it really haram everywhere you look? Is it possible to even avoid being near it?

How did your parents feel about you living in halls, if you did? (I think I can transfer to female only halls but not sure)

Did you wear the hijab / niqab right from your first day?

How do I deal with house mates that drink alcohol in the hall and store pork in the fridge?

There is a university freshers 2016/17 Facebook page that I've been invited to and don't know if I should join the group or not. It shows the people I am going to be sharing halls with and it would be nice to get to know some of them before I attend but I don't know if it's a good idea to start chatting to people online casually. There are a few Muslims in my halls from what I can see. What do you think? I don't want to be a social outcast or anything...

Also they're obviously going to be having parties so music, alcohol etc is going to be tough to ignore. Obviously I won't participate lol but I'll be able to hear / see it all.
 
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Aaahh.. university...

All those years ago. How things are different these days. It will be one of those defining moments of your life. There will be many more defining moments.

Remember, your goal is that piece of paper at the end. What will it take to get that! That must be the last thing taken for granted.

That is also the last moments where you can let your hair down and when you leave, remember to put back up your hair. Now the real world begins.

Honestly, there is no right answer. Things work out differently for different people. I have seen good guys turn for the worse and bad guys turning out ok. I have seen party makers become preachers, and more going the other way.

I feel it is better to be 'wild' young and come to the senses and no longer tempted because the 'been there done that' ...

Just ..... some choices can lead to a slippery path. . getting involved with boys, especially. Everything else can be repaired, so to speak.

But seriously, life outside is nothing like uni. It is the last where you actually own yourself. Actually, in the overall scheme of things, you have the least worries for the physical and mental stamina, drive and energy you actually have. Raw power and not as yet harnestable. But by the time you graduate, the system owns you. Social security, banks, insurance, loans, employment, medical, qualifications, experience, license, . Blah blah blah... so, do what it takes always to be on top of academics, and then have fun.

:peace:
 
I went to university as a mature student - I lasted three months.

What I learnt was the following:

How to drink yourself stupid.

How to hurt yourself when drunk.

How to choose which drugs will make your night fantastic.

How to choose which freshers week party to go to.

How to *enter haraam here*

then I felt disgusted and left... and this started me to question my existence.

I was not religious, faaaar from it, I would identify as a non believer, but after seeing what non belief promotes - I was left agape.

Now I was in a very odd position. I'd sold out to a system that I could not feel comfortable with. I was out of the fold of Islam. And so... my journey started. There were many contributing factors for my journey, uni being just one small one.

Scimi
 
Perfect example where the freedom of uni shocked people into religion ;D;D;D


:peace:
 
Oh totally bro - totally, although it wasn't the sole reason, it did contribute.

Scimi
 
Timi Scar said:
I went to university as a mature student - I lasted three months.

What I learnt was the following:

How to drink yourself stupid.

How to hurt yourself when drunk.

How to choose which drugs will make your night fantastic.

How to choose which freshers week party to go to.

How to *enter haraam here*

then I felt disgusted and left... and this started me to question my existence.

I was not religious, faaaar from it, I would identify as a non believer, but after seeing what non belief promotes - I was left agape.

Now I was in a very odd position. I'd sold out to a system that I could not feel comfortable with. I was out of the fold of Islam. And so... my journey started. There were many contributing factors for my journey, uni being just one small one.

Scimi
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Sure but if you have the self control not to partake in these things then it's not really a problem. I mean you can see haram just walking down the street but you don't suddenly walk into a shop and buy alcohol just because you saw someone else drinking it.
 
EgyptPrincess said:
Sure but if you have the self control not to partake in these things then it's not really a problem. I mean you can see haram just walking down the street but you don't suddenly walk into a shop and buy alcohol just because you saw someone else drinking it.
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I don't get pushed into haraam on the street - BIG DIFFERENCE.

Uni is he devils playground in that infamous freshers week.

Prove me wrong.

Scimi
 
EgyptPrincess said:
So do you have any advice for me? :nervous:
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YES - stay away from freshers week. Only attend lectures, politely decline any invitiations to dorm rooms and campus meet n greets - join the universities Islamic society. make them your goto group.

Most importantly - hijaab - this lets others know, you are not a floozy.

Scimi
 
Timi Scar said:
YES - stay away from freshers week. Only attend lectures, politely decline any invitiations to dorm rooms and campus meet n greets - join the universities Islamic society. make them your goto group.

Most importantly - hijaab - this lets others know, you are not a floozy.

Scimi
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But isn't freshers the time when everyone gets to know each other and stuff? If I don't attend then everyone will already know each other and I'll turn up and be the new kid on the block, kinda awkward.
 
Or turn up and be the new kid on the block who actually studies and as time moves forward, the students look to as their peer in the course, and not their peer in haraam.

Scimi
 
Assalamu Alaikum

If you put too much emphasis in "fitting in" you're going to lose yourself. If you can commute then do so, I don't recommend staying in dorms. If you must, then yes you absolutely have to be with girls, and preferably moral girls. Try to even find other Muslim girls you can share with. I don't know about how it is in the UK but in the US if you already have dorm buddies in mind you can all dorm in together. There are also FB groups for sublets where girls rent an apartment/flat and split the costs of the rent and bills.

That being said, I had a good head on my shoulders during uni alhemdulilah. I did not stay in dorms, but I did have my freedom. I never abused it though because my philosophy was if everyone is out drinking, partying, and doing drugs, then I have the upper hand in my GPA :D I also liked getting my sleep in so I didn't have time to "hang out" or make lots of friends. There are some mature individuals but they're rare, however if you come across someone like that they are really a marvel loool. I had a lot of respect for people that went to uni to be something bigger and better, rather than to be an extension of high school. You don't want your degree to take you longer than it should just because of distractions, and you don't even have to experience anything with others to "figure out your identity" or "know what you want to do in life" you just have to be a smart individual and find opportunities that will expand your horizons (in halal ways) such as volunteering, connecting with professors, being a part of organizations etc. and most importantly, staying in tact with your deen. Success of this dunyaa is easy to attain when you've left your dignity at it's doors, and the haram life just sucks the soul out of you after that.
 
Follow bro Scimi's advice ma'sha'Allah, golden words. Uni is a great opportunity for learning but the truth is it is a playground for haraam, young adults experiencing 'true' freedom for the first time and doing all the crazy stuff they associate with being away from parents.

Keep in mind you're there to learn and get a good career, not have fun or party or be popular - be really picky with your friends and who you choose to include in your social circle.

And just keep up your ibadat, remain conscious of Allah swt and hijab will be so important in how people see and behave with you.
 
Thanks for the advice ladies.

I will have to live there as the university is quite far from home and I'm going to try and see if I can change to a female only hall but I think it might be too late. I kinda lied to my father and told him I am in a female only hall lol so I really hope I can change it.

A Muslimah only hall would be perfect. Being around other Muslims will certainly help me stay focused on keeping up with my Islam. If it turns out I can't change to female only then I'll just do my best to stay away from the haram. Study in the library instead of my room, associate myself with other Muslims and not so much my room mates. I'm not really trying to "fit in" but I do want to be socially active because I'm naturally a really social person when in that sort of environment.
 
EgyptPrincess said:
Thanks for the advice ladies.

I will have to live there as the university is quite far from home and I'm going to try and see if I can change to a female only hall but I think it might be too late. I kinda lied to my father and told him I am in a female only hall lol so I really hope I can change it.

A Muslimah only hall would be perfect. Being around other Muslims will certainly help me stay focused on keeping up with my Islam. If it turns out I can't change to female only then I'll just do my best to stay away from the haram. Study in the library instead of my room, associate myself with other Muslims and not so much my room mates. I'm not really trying to "fit in" but I do want to be socially active because I'm naturally a really social person when in that sort of environment.
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If you tell them your situation, they may be able to do it for you. Perhaps there may even be some girls who want to switch. They can at least put you on a waiting list or something so next semester you can switch out right away.

Being extroverted can get you in a lot of trouble :D so do everything you possibly can to stay away from all the fitnah. Also a lot rapes happen in college as well, it's not talked about but it happens, so be overprotective with yourself in regards to your modesty and character. Uni is one of those places where you can either benefit a lot or not at all, and you can expose yourself to halaal or haram...it's how you decide to use it that makes the difference.
 
*charisma* said:
If you tell them your situation, they may be able to do it for you. Perhaps there may even be some girls who want to switch. They can at least put you on a waiting list or something so next semester you can switch out right away.

Being extroverted can get you in a lot of trouble :D so do everything you possibly can to stay away from all the fitnah. Also a lot rapes happen in college as well, it's not talked about but it happens, so be overprotective with yourself in regards to your modesty and character. Uni is one of those places where you can either benefit a lot or not at all, and you can expose yourself to halaal or haram...it's how you decide to use it that makes the difference.
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Ain't no man trying it on with me... I was a bit worried but this kind of thing but I think I'm safe as A) I don't go to parties so no chance of being spiked and B) We're Muslims, most kufr run from us with fear :Emoji32:

Timi Scar said:
Thats fine, but i'm no lady :D

Scimi
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I +repped you what more do you want :O
 
Sister,
First, I congratulate you on Ramadan. Second, I think you should always remember you will be one of the messengers of Islam among the students there in the university. Everybody will surely know your Islamic identity, so be very careful of your deeds and behavior because Islam will be judged through you.
Finally, I pray to Allah to guide you to the righteous deeds, and protect you. I also hope you achieve your goal and get the certificate.
 

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