Racists what do I do?

[AlbanianMuslim]

Yea sounds about right sis, sometimes the elderly can be very difficult to deal with. Patience will go a long way with them.

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Me and my friends were waiting for the bus once and we wern't waiting in the bus shelter we were waiting on the side, when we first started waiting the bus shelter was empty no people waiting for the bus. By the time the bus came the bus shelter had a long que, so anyway when it came we walked straight to the front to get on it looked as if we had pushed in but we were there before all those people

this african lady said to us "This is Britain you know" cos she thought we were pushing in, we just looked at her with raised eye brows, my friend started laughing then we all began laughing, we just waited till the entire que got on the bus.

then got on.

Ha LOVE that. One of the best ways to deal with that type of a situation, people feel incredibly ridiculous when they are laughed at.

 

[Salahudeen]

Ha LOVE that. One of the best ways to deal with that type of a situation, people feel incredibly ridiculous when they are laughed at.

I agree, if you rise to it and get all heated up that's what they want I think, when they see you laughing at them like you couldn't care less and your watching them make a fool of themselves they feel silly.

 

[Esther462]

Salaam alaikom all,

I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.:hmm:
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.

My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?

It does hurt by the way hear them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it. imsad

I've had old people think I'm a nun because they are not uses to seeing muslim women around. Some know your muslim and can be quite narsty and think your stuped. There are some people who are very nice, like the man at the bus stop last night, thought I was muslim, tell I told him and he was very plesents and thought I was a lovely lady.

 

[Life_Is_Short]

Sorry sis, and please dont take this the wrong way, but it doesnt pay to be stubborn in those types of situations. I used to be EXTREMELY stubborn, if a woman had said that to me years ago, i would have told her to back up and NOT in a nice way but one of the things I have learned is that being stubborn doesnt benefit you in any way. I could be wrong, but i dont think this lady was telling you to line up because you were muslim, and even if it was what she said really wasnt THAT bad. Some of the older women hold fast to rules. They rely on them. She might be the type who feels the need to be the first one on the bus and doesnt want anyone to cut her.

In situations like that, I would count to 10 and take deep breaths. Not get angry or say anything, just smile and nod. If you didnt want to do it, just dont do it, move further from her.
Return unkindness with kindness, she will feel like a fool while you will gain points for patience.

Remember sisters, we must bite our tongues when we can. There are time where we MUST say something, but that is only when it is absolutely necessary. If you can manage getting out of a situation without saying a word, the better. Ignorant people WANT you to say something so they have an excuse to push you around even more.

I was not rude at all but what you've said seems like a right thing to do.

Elderly can be difficult. :hmm:

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Deff understand that you werent rude. Not at all what I meant, but elderly people think even going against what they say in a NICE way as rude. They are very sensitive as they get older. Getting old is terrifying for a lot of people and it sometimes causes them to lash out in odd ways in an effort to still seem strong.

No worries sister,

 

[cat eyes]

It was practically impossible to line up at that bus stop. Firstly, because there were too many people at the stop and they were all taking different buses so you need to make a least five different lines for it to work. Secondly, the footpath was too small and it was busy which meant that it would cause problem to the pedestrians.

She had no problem catching the bus. :hmm: If she did, of course, i would have helped her.

By the way she said these were her "principles", nothing to do with the law.

Well i learnt alot about elderly people over the years sister

I Worked in a holiday home for elderly people since the age of 14 til 17years old i worked there during my holidays from school... my dad thought it would be a good thing for me to get a job.. because he worked from an early age and believed everybody should learn about whats going on outside of the home and see what the world is like lol it also helped me to kinda get over the death of my own mother.

Well im telling you sis it was horrible because alot of them were extremely cranky.. our duties would be carrying there bags to the bedroom and feeding them and cleaning there rooms after them.

there was days where id break down crying because i could not handle it.. but my dad was not allowing me to leave the job and then before i knew the management was giving me weekends also.

The place also catered for the blind and disabled.. well somewhere down along the line i started to understand why old people are the way they are because they are insecure.. i had found out so many stories that there families were not even taking care of them and neglecting them so they lived a lonely life so i believe it caused them to be angry at the whole world.

as time went on i tried to control my resentment towards them and be kinder to them.. it started to not affect me how they would behave and started to make them sick with kindness lol

I also learnt one thing though that ''treat people how you would like to be treated'' even if they jump down your throat for no reason.

I Know its hard i found it hard in the start but im telling you i learnt alot.

Then i went on to get job in a hotel that was worser hahaha

sorry for rambling :hiding: im telling you my whole life story here

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^ Thats OK. Had fun reading it! True about the family abandoning them. Us muslims would never allow our parents to go to such a home. We would rather take care of them ourselves to make sure they have everything they want and need. Koeffar people think differently I guess, too self obsorbed maybe. Here old people die in their homes and people notice their dead when they smell something bad. Usually after three days they notice the neighbour hasnt been picking up his newspaper any more. Sad seriously. Getting a bit off topic btw

 

[Life_Is_Short]

Well i learnt alot about elderly people over the years sister

I Worked in a holiday home for elderly people since the age of 14 til 17years old i worked there during my holidays from school... my dad thought it would be a good thing for me to get a job.. because he worked from an early age and believed everybody should learn about whats going on outside of the home and see what the world is like lol it also helped me to kinda get over the death of my own mother.

Well im telling you sis it was horrible because alot of them were extremely cranky.. our duties would be carrying there bags to the bedroom and feeding them and cleaning there rooms after them.

there was days where id break down crying because i could not handle it.. but my dad was not allowing me to leave the job and then before i knew the management was giving me weekends also.

The place also catered for the blind and disabled.. well somewhere down along the line i started to understand why old people are the way they are because they are insecure.. i had found out so many stories that there families were not even taking care of them and neglecting them so they lived a lonely life so i believe it caused them to be angry at the whole world.

as time went on i tried to control my resentment towards them and be kinder to them.. it started to not affect me how they would behave and started to make them sick with kindness lol

I also learnt one thing though that ''treat people how you would like to be treated'' even if they jump down your throat for no reason.

I Know its hard i found it hard in the start but im telling you i learnt alot.

Then i went on to get job in a hotel that was worser hahaha

sorry for rambling :hiding: im telling you my whole life story here

Sorry to hear your loss sister. imsad May Allah grant her paradise.

I understand what you mean. I've been to an elderly home too. It's sad the way their children just leave them and refuse to look after them.imsad

 

[Musliman]

Well i learnt alot about elderly people over the years sister

I Worked in a holiday home for elderly people since the age of 14 til 17years old i worked there during my holidays from school... my dad thought it would be a good thing for me to get a job.. because he worked from an early age and believed everybody should learn about whats going on outside of the home and see what the world is like lol it also helped me to kinda get over the death of my own mother.

Well im telling you sis it was horrible because alot of them were extremely cranky.. our duties would be carrying there bags to the bedroom and feeding them and cleaning there rooms after them.

there was days where id break down crying because i could not handle it.. but my dad was not allowing me to leave the job and then before i knew the management was giving me weekends also.

The place also catered for the blind and disabled.. well somewhere down along the line i started to understand why old people are the way they are because they are insecure.. i had found out so many stories that there families were not even taking care of them and neglecting them so they lived a lonely life so i believe it caused them to be angry at the whole world.

as time went on i tried to control my resentment towards them and be kinder to them.. it started to not affect me how they would behave and started to make them sick with kindness lol

I also learnt one thing though that ''treat people how you would like to be treated'' even if they jump down your throat for no reason.

I Know its hard i found it hard in the start but im telling you i learnt alot.

Then i went on to get job in a hotel that was worser hahaha

sorry for rambling :hiding: im telling you my whole life story here

I am deeply sorry to hear this cat eyes, I hope Allah grant her Paradise inchallah, keep praying for her imsad

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

I hope no one is assuming that I am putting down the elderly or looking down on them. I spend more time with the elderly than girls my own age! But, there ARE some who are hard to handle for younger people. Not because they are bad people, but a person who is 80 sees things differently than someone who is 18. Thats why I hope people will find patience with someone who they are older than or younger than.

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

Sorry to hear your loss sister. imsad May Allah grant her paradise.

I understand what you mean. I've been to an elderly home too. It's sad the way their children just leave them and refuse to look after them.imsad

Inshallah ameen! Sorry forgot to comment on that. :hmm:

 

[Snowflake]

Salaam alaikom all,

I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.:hmm:
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.

My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?

It does hurt by the way hear them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it. imsad

I think the first incident wasn't meant to be offensive. The second was a jibe at your being a muslim. But nasty people can't take anything away from a muslim by being nasty. A believer will always be better than them. Frankly you shouldn't care about either in any way at all. Personally, I worry more about how our own muslim brothers and sisters treat each other. :hmm: