rejoining in a sense

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serena77

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i never left, but i stopped coming by here for several months.. not because anything was wrong.... i backed off on several things i" was doing. Its not that i don't wish to revert. I still do .... its that my circumstances are so frustrating in part, in part because i want the impossible... which is to be the perfect muslimah when i do revert.

Add those two things together and you will get something very impossible. In the last several days, I've started trying to make more time, I'd been making time for the prayers, though i have to use aids ... I haven't memorized the arabic. ... I try and not do other things i shouldn't, music and i are still having issues, but i love quaruanic recitiations and nasheeds. I want to start getting used to arabic nasheeds so far i've only listened to english ones and i have yet to really find one i didnt LIKE.

I'm trying to start learning arabic again. I never went back to the Catholic church, not even to try and make sure i wasnt confused or anything like that.

I still feel like my situation isnt ideal. I'm still delaying, what i am almost positive is the inevitable, but I am at least back and to me thats another step in the right direction.
Serena
 
Greetings Serena,

Nice to meet u, welcome back.

Yes, but whoever submits his face (himself) to Allah (i.e. follows Allah's Religion of Islamic Monotheism)
and he is a Muhsin (good-doer i.e. performs good deeds totally for Allah's sake only without any show off or to gain praise or fame,
etc., and in accordance with the Sunnah of Allah's Messenger Muhammad Peace be upon him ) then his reward is with his Lord (Allah),
on such shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. Surah Al-Baqarah (The Cow) Ayah 112

And who can be better in religion than one who submits his face (himself) to Allah (i.e. follows Allah's Religion of Islamic Monotheism); and he is a Muhsin (a good-doer - see V.2:112). And follows the religion of Ibrahim (Abraham) Hanifa (Islamic Monotheism - to worship none but Allah Alone). Surah An-Nisa' (The Women) surah no.4 :ayah 125

And whoever submits his face to Allah while he is a doer of good - then he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold.
And to Allah will be the outcome of [all] matters.Surat Luqmān 31 ayah 22

There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path has become distinct from the wrong path.
Whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah, then he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold
that will never break. And Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower. Surah Al-Baqarah (The Cow), Ayah 256
 
Greetings Serena and a warm welcome back to the forum.

Yes, I do remember you, and I remember thinking that I hadn't seen you around, and hoping that everything was ok.

I hope your situation hasn't got worse since you last wrote.

Nice to see you back, and I hope Allah makes things easy for you and guides you home to Islam, ameen.

Peace.
 
Hello Serena. Don't worry about being perfect when you become a Muslim. Do as much as you can and Allah will give you the strength to keep moving forward.
 
:sl:

Welcome back Serena,

No one can ever be a perfect muslimah, all we can do is try. And when we make mistakes and sin, we repent and resolve to stay stronger. Our life is continuously like that.
I hope Allah SWT gives you guidance and strenghts. ameen.
 
JAK to everyone. YOU may or may not have an idea how much the welcome means to me. I really did myself a disservice by backing off the group. I really need to be here... I may not always say the best thing and for that i'm already going to apologize but i'm trying.

I'd been going through reading the prayers when i should... however last night for the first time i tried to go through the movements as well. to some it may seem stupid that i haven't been but i'm trying to do one thing at a time to get more comfortable w/ it... and reading them to get that more famillar seemed more important to start off w/.

I will get there. I Know i will. I just wish there wasn't so many obsticles and i know... that it may just be my own set of trials but sadly.. it means right now i'm still having to plod through some things... and i almost feel I should apologize for that as well....
Serena
 
I just felt that I should post the below hadith......

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah Salaho Alai Waalai Wasalam said: When Allah decreed the Creation He pledged Himself by writing in His book which is laid down with Him: My mercy prevails over my wrath.
It was related by Muslim (also by al-Bukhari, an-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah).
 
Trust me Honey; you don`t need to be perfect at all cause the Only Perfect one Is Allah but of course that won`t stop us from trying to do our best always to please our Creator and get closer to Him The Most Merciful The Most Compassionate and also trying our best to avoid sinning and when we slip then we remember that we have Him The Exalted The Most Merciful; we still have choices to repent, to correct our mistakes ; to ask Him AlMighty His forgiveness and pardon , and Allah doesn`t dissappoint His slaves ; those who return to Him and ask His guidance and help, my sweetheart, when you walk to Allah ; He runs to ya The Most Generous and as long as you are striving for His sake then you will see wonders and you won`t ever regret returning to Him Who belong to His all Might and Mejesty... laa ilaha illa Allah

we are human from flesh and blood and we do mistakes and sin, we slip and fall but with Allah`s guidance and the faith He planted in our hearts and made them Revive beating for Him; we will get up and stand so strong and firm on our feet just for His sake no matter how much we may fall then we won`t give up cause we have Him The Creator The Owner of heavens and earth The Lord of Mercy and Forgiveness. May Allah guide us and forgive us all and help us to be His true slaves and servants Ameeeeeeeeen

"The Messenger has believed in what was revealed to him from his Lord, and [so have] the believers. All of them have believed in Allah and His angels and His books and His messengers, [saying], "We make no distinction between any of His messengers." And they say, "We hear and we obey. [We seek] Your forgiveness, our Lord, and to You is the [final] destination." (285)Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people." (286)"

Surat Al Baqarah

just do what you are able to do and don`t burden your self...step by step then you will find your self so close to Allah in shaa Allah.

and trust me my precious sister , you don`t have to wait all of this time to be a slave and servant for the One, I knew new reverts who embraced Islam knowing nothing but few information and after that Sub`haan Allah ; they learnt many things gradually step by step and their Faith became very strong that non can take that light from them ever no matter what they may do or make things hard for them.

some of the reverts are better than those who born Muslims, I saw this by my own eyes; May Allah guide us all to Him , keep us firm on His way, be with us and be pleased with us always and forever Ameeeeeeeen

May Allah lead your way to the path of the endless true happiness always and forever and the whole world too Ameeeeeeeeen

never let your fears stop ya from being good ever; if surrendering to our fears then we will be trapped forever and we won`t be able to take a step forward and that would cause is weakness, depression and fill our hearts with loneliness, just run to your Lord O slave of Allah Who told us::"And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous (133)Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good; (134)And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins - and who can forgive sins except Allah? - and [who] do not persist in what they have done while they know. (135)Those - their reward is forgiveness from their Lord and gardens beneath which rivers flow [in Paradise], wherein they will abide eternally; and excellent is the reward of the [righteous] workers. (136)" Surat Aal Imraan

"Say, "Never will we be struck except by what Allah has decreed for us; He is our protector." And upon Allah let the believers rely. (51)" Surat Attawbah

and also:"And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out (2)And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent. (3)"

and says:"And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him of his matter ease. (4)"
and then:"and whoever fears Allah - He will remove for him his misdeeds and make great for him his reward. (5)"

Surat Attalaaq

and always put the following verses in your mind, Surat Azzumar:"Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." (53)And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped. (54)And follow the best of what was revealed to you from your Lord before the punishment comes upon you suddenly while you do not perceive, (55)Lest a soul should say, "Oh [how great is] my regret over what I neglected in regard to Allah and that I was among the mockers." (56)Or [lest] it say, "If only Allah had guided me, I would have been among the righteous." (57)Or [lest] it say when it sees the punishment, "If only I had another turn so I could be among the doers of good." (58)But yes, there had come to you My verses, but you denied them and were arrogant, and you were among the disbelievers. (59)And on the Day of Resurrection you will see those who lied about Allah [with] their faces blackened. Is there not in Hell a residence for the arrogant? (60)And Allah will save those who feared Him by their attainment; no evil will touch them, nor will they grieve. (61)Allah is the Creator of all things, and He is, over all things, Disposer of affairs. (62)"

and May The Peace Be with you Ameeeeeeeeeeen

take care of your precious self my dear always in shaa Allah.

leaving ya under Allah`s sight, care and protection.

Humbly, your sister no matter what you are:

Amat Allah.
 
Serena, you just have to take the jump. Shaytaan continuously distracts the children of Adam so they go to either extreme; thinking they are too bad or too good. This even happens to Muslims.

You just have to accept Islam because you know it's the truth. Then all your past sins will be forgiven, and Allah will make your whole life easier for you. Many converts have said that they just had to take the jump and say; Ash hadu an laa ilaaha ill-Allah Muhammadun Rasool Allah (I believe there is no god but Allah and Muhammad [peace be upon him] is His Messenger.

Just when they said that, their hearts and lives felt pure and they felt a burden lift off their shoulders. Because now you are a friend of Allah. Before this moment, you are still someone who is threatened with being in hellfire forever. You are not a friend of Allah until you admit that you submit to Him.


So become a close friend of Allah, and if you were to die at that moment - you are atleast sinless, and to be a people of the beautiful Paradise which Allah has promised His believing slaves.

Remember, you will still be going through the same struggles with or without your Islam. The difference is, with your Islam - Allah will be your helping friend. And you will not be under Allah's threat, rather you will be hopeful of success in this life, hopeful of Allah's Mercy and His Paradise where there are no worries ever. That is the true home of joy and happiness.


Ask Allah, always. Allah says; "Call upon me, I will respond to you.."
 
thank you ... the last two posts.. honestly brought me to tears.... and I'm not normally known for getting overly emotional.... infact to a degree i pride myself on that.... but i very much appreciate what you both had to say.... there's still some kinks i have to work out ..... in part... may sound stupid but i'd like to at least get a handle on a health issue before i make the jump.... its not... least i hope not... life threatening... just good for making me miserable....
and i have to get a handle on prayer times. i know.. i know... mistakes will happen.... but ... while i know i cannot pray at work.... i still have to get so i can make more time for it more easily and as big a part of the faith as it is, i would like to be a little better... this morning i planned to at least get up early enough to pray before work and what do i do? i over sleep.... enough that i literally just made it there.

i'm trying to take my living situation out of the equation on reverting... trying... but i have a little more work to do on that too... mentally... thats my own short coming ... I know.... but i'm really there... i am....
serena
 
serena77 said:
thank you ... the last two posts.. honestly brought me to tears.... and I'm not normally known for getting overly emotional.... infact to a degree i pride myself on that.... but i very much appreciate what you both had to say.... there's still some kinks i have to work out ..... in part... may sound stupid but i'd like to at least get a handle on a health issue before i make the jump.... its not... least i hope not... life threatening... just good for making me miserable....
and i have to get a handle on prayer times. i know.. i know... mistakes will happen.... but ... while i know i cannot pray at work.... i still have to get so i can make more time for it more easily and as big a part of the faith as it is, i would like to be a little better... this morning i planned to at least get up early enough to pray before work and what do i do? i over sleep.... enough that i literally just made it there.

i'm trying to take my living situation out of the equation on reverting... trying... but i have a little more work to do on that too... mentally... thats my own short coming ... I know.... but i'm really there... i am....
serena
Click to expand...


I'll give you some tips:


1 - GOLDEN RULE: ALWAYS ask Allah to guide you and to make everything easy for you in life. This is the main aspect of Guidance you have to hold onto throughout your entire life. If you give up this practise, then you will no doubt gradually go onto the wrong path and distance from Allah. And this is why even most Muslims say their Emaan [belief] is low, because they have given up asking and wishing to Allah, their Provider for things which will make them grateful to Him.

2 - The Hijab might be abit hard to get used to. But alot of Muslim women get used to it by doing a gradual change; wearing a bandanna first, then baggier clothes, and gradually a hijaab. You might want to try out this gradual change for gradual comfort. And by that time, you will be strong enough to tell people why you are Muslim (because you get a direct connection with your Creator for anything you need.)

3 - You will face difficulties, but you face less social pressure to be like 'the rest'. Instead, you stand up for the truth confidently, and any harm you face - you will see its rewards in this life and the one to come, inshaa' Allah.

4 - Prayer in work isn't too hard. If you ask for a short break a few times in the day, and say to the boss that you will take these mini 5-10min breaks instead of a full 1hour lunch break. They might allow you to do that inshaa' Allah.


5 - Continue asking Allah for help, He will help you.


Also, please read these;

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-purification-soul/134291492-5-tips-being-confident-muslim.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-purification-soul/134284036-how-can-i-confident-muslim.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-purification-soul/134295188-how-brave-muslim.html
 
Qatada
asking for the breaks at work... won't wor... sadly... and thats not just me being difficult. I work in a call center and they are so big about people not even going to break five mins. late and we get points at times if we are even a minute late. thats part of the problem.
and while i'd love to... changing jobs isn't an option...

i've been feeling weird about asking Allah (swt) because i know i'm not always doing it in prayer form.. and honestly i don't know that it always has to be.....

thanks for the links too i appreciate it....
serena
 
serena77 said:
Qatada
asking for the breaks at work... won't wor... sadly... and thats not just me being difficult. I work in a call center and they are so big about people not even going to break five mins. late and we get points at times if we are even a minute late. thats part of the problem.
and while i'd love to... changing jobs isn't an option...

i've been feeling weird about asking Allah (swt) because i know i'm not always doing it in prayer form.. and honestly i don't know that it always has to be.....

thanks for the links too i appreciate it....
serena
Click to expand...


I know it seems hard, but remember this from the Qur'an - where Allah tells us;

And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent. (Quran 65: 2-3)


Right now, you should carry on asking Allah sincerely from your heart - to provide you guidance, and help, and pure money which will make you free from the need of other people. This does not require effort. It is a matter of how much you want to complain to Allah about your weakness and about the situations you are in.

This is your first step right now - to repeatedly beg Allah for what you want, and be patient with Allah for a response. Even if you are not doing it in prayer form yet. Because calling to Allah and making wishes to Him is the one of the greatest things any human can ever do, it is one of the best good deeds in Islam in the sight of Allah.


So don't let shaytaan fool you into thinking that you are evil. No - he is only doing this so you don't turn to Allah at all. So ask, and ask.. you will see wonderful changes in your life if you be patient in your sincere wishes to Him.
 
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Salam Alaikkum All,

Welcome aboard Sister. I like all the advices, I too feel sometimes high and sometimes low in Imaan and alhamdollelah we have IB, we can come back anytime one way to remind us how lucky we are to be Muslims. Alhamdolellah​
 
As'Salaam Alaaykum

Welcome back to the forum!

Hope you enjoy yourself here

Hope you also benefit yourself inshaa'Allaah..

ps. Apologies for late reply.
 
There's no such thing as a perfect Muslimah. Good intentions and making an effort are what's important... Tbh, it sounds like you're just (subconsciously?) creating excuses to delay converting. You need to make up your mind and then just do it.

Hope everything works out for you.
 
thank you sister i appreciate the welcome back!
ive tried to be more active but i honestly normally feel as though most things are either over my head or that others will have better replies than i do.
serena
 
Tyrion said:
There's no such thing as a perfect Muslimah. Good intentions and making an effort are what's important... Tbh, it sounds like you're just (subconsciously?) creating excuses to delay converting. You need to make up your mind and then just do it.

Hope everything works out for you.
Click to expand...

you are of course more than welcome to your opinion... i've pretty much determined to take my shahada after my next visit w/ my therapist which isnt putting it off, he was a teacher of religions before he was a therapist.. has been to egypt and actually has been oddly supportive of this decision. infact he is the only person i have locally who is supportive. which doesn't help, but at least i have someone in person on my side on the issue. my parents have told me basically not to do this... and so that has caused much hesitation and anguish on my part as well as i do live w/ my mother ... as far as the perfection issue goes... i was a lay minister in the catholic church... w/ a priest who... if you made a mistake you were heavily called on the carpet on it.... as an example... during the easter season... there is the washing of the feet which the priest does to certain members of the congregation. ... it was my first year doing it, and i did honestly want everything for the easter week to be perfect. i had ten people... and got called on the carpet on it infront of the entire congregation. so please understand... that issue w/ imperfection has its roots in valid examples from the church i have left. it wasn't ever God i was afraid of disappointing at the church... i knew he'd forgive me .. it was my priest which isnt how it should be.... but its how it was. and no... that had nothing to do w/ me leaving the church either..... it just didnt leave w/ warm fuzzy feelings for my priest when i did.
Serena
 
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