Relationship question

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Hello,

I have a thing that has been on my mind for a while. Im a muslim boy, 17 years old. I live in the Netherlands, but i am from Turkey. I have a girlfriend here, she is African and she is christian.

So my parents always told me that schoollove is just temporary, and they want me to marry and girl from my own country, because they say thats better and so on. But it has been a year now with my girlfriend, and everything goes fine, but i cant love her 100 %, because i am scared that if we grow up, my parents want me to leave her because she is not from our country. I know that i shouldn't think about stuff like that, because im young, but still, it goes in my mind. I cant just let this girl go. I really feel for her.

I always told my parents that i wouldn't be something serieus between us, but it seems to get serieus...

Also, my girlfriend told me, that if we grow up, and we're still together, and she wants to be with me, she is willing to become muslim. I didnt tell my parents about this because i dont know how they will react. But thats a good thing from her right?

I wanna be able to love her 100 percently, but im just scared that if im gonna love her too much, and then that my parents will break my heart when i grow up, by letting me break up with her. I dont want to hurt my parents, by not listening to them, but i try to find a way to let my parents accept it. Should i just keep loving her, and see what will happen, or something else? I think it's nonsense to only marry a girl from my own country(turkey), but my parents want that.

Thanks in advance!
 
Sorry i think i got a mail back from you guys but my mailbox deleted it, i accidentely marked it as junk. Im sorry, could you please send it again? Thanks
 
Welcome,

Firstly, you are going about this the wrong way and so are your parents. There is no such thing as "school love" or this or that love. What you are doing is haraam and not allowed in Islam. Islam does not allow dating and having boyfriends/girlfriends. So you need to stop this first. If she cares about you than talk to her and have study islam and see how she likes it. If she can accept Islam as her way of life than thats good, you can keep in touch but you need to break off the relationship. When you both are ready to get married you can get married than. You're parents can advise you as to who you should you marry but they can't force you to marry against your will. It's great to marry someone from back home or same background because you have so much in common but that does not have to be.

check out this link inshallah on islamic ruling on boyfriend/girlfriends

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/1114
 
To be honest she is human being and you can't trust human being 100% cuz they will always let you down.You should listen your parent and it is not good idea to go on dates since your young so bro i will advice you to think twice and do what is right for you.
 
^ I would like to add a small point

Chapter 37: THE GOOD OF THIS WORLD IS THE PIOUS WOMAN​

Book 008, Number 3465:

'Abdullah b. Amr reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.

http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/muslim/hadith/muslim/008.smt.html


the best selection is a woman who has taqwaa its the best reward u can get in this world

so choose carefully
 
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Asalamlikum
My younger brother in islam, what i suggest u...think parent loves their children so they never think bad of them. u are so younger and they are very experienced....so i think u should not neglect ur parent in this decision. 2ndly what i had seen in this age is....a strom of feelins and passions, but no maturety and no thinking by mind for any decision..... i blv u never have think y u goona marry...just bcz u like her and ur parents are rite in saying school love is a temporary things...bcz in practical life when there are much issues, children, etc, its also possible a time come u think i was wrong at that time....so being regret at that time, its better think very well b4 u do anything and never neglect ur parent.
JZK
WASALM
 
ZDF said:
Hello,

I have a thing that has been on my mind for a while. Im a muslim boy, 17 years old. I live in the Netherlands, but i am from Turkey. I have a girlfriend here, she is African and she is christian.

So my parents always told me that schoollove is just temporary, and they want me to marry and girl from my own country, because they say thats better and so on. But it has been a year now with my girlfriend, and everything goes fine, but i cant love her 100 %, because i am scared that if we grow up, my parents want me to leave her because she is not from our country. I know that i shouldn't think about stuff like that, because im young, but still, it goes in my mind. I cant just let this girl go. I really feel for her.

I always told my parents that i wouldn't be something serieus between us, but it seems to get serieus...

Also, my girlfriend told me, that if we grow up, and we're still together, and she wants to be with me, she is willing to become muslim. I didnt tell my parents about this because i dont know how they will react. But thats a good thing from her right?

I wanna be able to love her 100 percently, but im just scared that if im gonna love her too much, and then that my parents will break my heart when i grow up, by letting me break up with her. I dont want to hurt my parents, by not listening to them, but i try to find a way to let my parents accept it. Should i just keep loving her, and see what will happen, or something else? I think it's nonsense to only marry a girl from my own country(turkey), but my parents want that.

Thanks in advance!
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Assalamualikum Brother.
You are 17 and your hormons are active at thsi age.Whatever you feel for a girl at this age,it is not loev but jsut called "puppy love"

There is no room for any affection before marriage as well as no room for puppy love.

You are too young to think about future.How sure are you that you will be alive the next day.And how sure are you that you will be alive to have a family with her or anyone else?

You do not know the future yet you know death will come.So prepare for your death insetead of thinking about her which will take you to deep hell as this is one kind of Zina.I hope you are aware of it.

I do not blame you as this is the problem with teenagers who easily give in to syaitan.Some how all of us went through this situation at some point of our life.The difference is,how quickly we sincerely repent and get back to the right track.

My advice is,forget her and move on with your life and studies.In Islam,we are not suppose to take non Muslims as our close friend,and do you think it is ok to have a non Muslim as a gf?well of course the question shouldn't arise as the total subject of having girl friend is haram.

As for your parents,they can dream whatever they want,yet they cannot decide your life partner.Allah The Exalted alone decide your life partner.

Just concentrate in your studies,full fill your dreams and your parents dreams.

There are plenty of fish out there. I am sure if not 4 at least one will be yours :) In sha Allah

Assalamualikum
 
Brother African women are dangerous stay away from them......once you go black you can't come back
 
Abdullahii said:
Brother African women are dangerous stay away from them......once you go black you can't come back
Click to expand...

Is it just me, or does that come out the wrong way? You cannot say that African women are dangerous, rather say that kufar women are dangerous. That sounds better. But what you just said sounded racist (sorry). Just wanted to let you know.
 
HanaDeyl said:
Is it just me, or does that come out the wrong way? You cannot say that African women are dangerous, rather say that kufar women are dangerous. That sounds better. But what you just said sounded racist (sorry). Just wanted to let you know.
Click to expand...
:sl:
Lol :D Sister, he was just kidding :p... that's just typical him. Anyhow, I agree with ya.

It was narrated that the Prophet (Peace and plessings be upon him) said: “O people, your Lord is One and your father [i.e., Adam] is one. There is no superiority of the Arab over the non-Arab, or of the non-Arab over the Arab, or of the red over the black, or of the black over the red – except with regard to taqwa.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 22391)
 
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HanaDeyl said:
Is it just me, or does that come out the wrong way? You cannot say that African women are dangerous, rather say that kufar women are dangerous. That sounds better. But what you just said sounded racist (sorry). Just wanted to let you know.
Click to expand...

African sisters are very very beautiful hence the great danger....i was just warning the brother that when he considers an african lady there's no coming back, he's exhibiting this in his post when he says '' I wanna be able to love her 100 percently, but im just scared''

he's scared that he may not come back once he goes black
 
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HanaDeyl said:
Is it just me, or does that come out the wrong way? You cannot say that African women are dangerous, rather say that kufar women are dangerous. That sounds better. But what you just said sounded racist (sorry). Just wanted to let you know.
Click to expand...

It is not only you who think that way.Me too.It obviously sounds racist.
 
Abdullahii said:
Brother African women are dangerous stay away from them......once you go black you can't come back
Click to expand...

You tell is how they are dangerous.It is not what you say but how you say it anyway at the end of the day whaever you mean it is between you and Allah.Beware there are some african muslim women who are PURE.
 
Abdullahii said:
Which bomboclat part sounds racist??!?!
Click to expand...

First mentioning African are dangerous..second calling them black(even though they are black,yet the way u put it is absolutely not polite)


One of my friend is black and she is in this forum and she converted a few months a go.I hope she doesn't come accross this thread and find this racist post.

We might think what we wrote is ok,but when more than 1 person comment negatively on our post,then what we wrote isn't ok. Anyway,no one is perfect and all of us do mistakes.Lets just don't repeat the same mistake and lets be more careful when we deal with nationality and races.


may Allah The Exalted protect us all.ameen
 
aadil77 said:
I think the bro is black himself
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You are right mate! have you ever seen a black who is racist against blacks......im quite flattered at all these accusations i dont know what to say all i said was african women are dangerous because of the sheer beauty they possess thats all and now they're saying ''you racist we're gonna take you to jail!!'' :hmm:
 
Abdullahii said:
You are right mate! have you ever seen a black who is racist against blacks......im quite flattered at all these accusations i dont know what to say all i said was african women are dangerous because of the sheer beauty they possess thats all and now they're saying ''you racist we're gonna take you to jail!!'' :hmm:
Click to expand...

;D I knew it

btw are you somali bro?
 

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