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__follower

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:sl: brothers and sisters , i want to get some advises from everyone . no the problem is ,me a 20 year old male and a female schoolmate of mine met each others in our new class .
:skeleton:we both are muslims and both are any bad type of people who forgets their religion but love happens ,so v started talking with eachother and now i m having feelings for her and she feels the same, now after 2-3 months i get to know that she is engaged , even though i knew it after the first week but i was not really sure about it ,i wanted to make the relationship halal, but now the engagement thing is the problem and i don't want to break their engagement because i think that's what Allah ordered and i dont want to make trouble for her and her family ,because i love her soo much and i think i will b happy if she's happy . and now i m going aboard and i think this is the best opportunity for me to break this relationship , after i come back from aboard i will change myself and will act differently with her and i will try my best to avoid making her think that i love her or anything i will try my best to make her feel uncomfortable with me
as we cant get married this will b the only solution .



so i wanted ask all of u that what do u think i should do and what i am doing is right or not ? and please give me some advice



sorry for my poor English
 
salams akhee...

my posts maybe short because i'm using a mobile. Anyway akhee you are doing the right thing akhee. Inshaallah may Allah ease your pain and make it easy for you. and May Allah meet you with a better muslimah :)
 
:sl:
May Allah make it easier for you, sister syllia is right, you are doing the right thing. May Allah guide us all.
:wa:
 
:sl:

Salaam brother

Indeed it can be difficult to give up seeing the person you love, but for the sake of Allah it was the correct thing to do because she is already engaged, and perhaps not willing to break her current engagement.

That's why in Islam it's reccomended for everything to be segregated- to avoid these sort of problems. However you did the right thing, and InshAllah, Allah will reward you for this. Who knows maybe you will find the right person very soon, and marry them instead?

It's also better for your state of mind by avoiding her altogether... a broken heart can be difficult to deal with for everyone!

May Allah assist you in your struggle InshAllah

:wa:
 
heavenlyspot said:
:sl:

Salaam brother

Indeed it can be difficult to give up seeing the person you love, but for the sake of Allah it was the correct thing to do because she is already engaged, and perhaps not willing to break her current engagement.

That's why in Islam it's reccomended for everything to be segregated- to avoid these sort of problems. However you did the right thing, and InshAllah, Allah will reward you for this. Who knows maybe you will find the right person very soon, and marry them instead?

It's also better for your state of mind by avoiding her altogether... a broken heart can be difficult to deal with for everyone!


May Allah assist you in your struggle InshAllah

:wa:
Click to expand...

229 reputation just by 11 posts? How did you do that ?:D Sisters increasing rep of a sister on every post? ;D
 
:sl:
you should leave each other alone. she was already engaged, i dont know where or how you thought you had a chance with her to begin with (no offense)
 
__follower said:
:sl: brothers and sisters , i want to get some advises from everyone . no the problem is ,me a 20 year old male and a female schoolmate of mine met each others in our new class .
:skeleton:we both are muslims and both are any bad type of people who forgets their religion but love happens ,so v started talking with eachother and now i m having feelings for her and she feels the same, now after 2-3 months i get to know that she is engaged , even though i knew it after the first week but i was not really sure about it ,i wanted to make the relationship halal, but now the engagement thing is the problem and i don't want to break their engagement because i think that's what Allah ordered and i dont want to make trouble for her and her family ,because i love her soo much and i think i will b happy if she's happy . and now i m going aboard and i think this is the best opportunity for me to break this relationship , after i come back from aboard i will change myself and will act differently with her and i will try my best to avoid making her think that i love her or anything i will try my best to make her feel uncomfortable with me
as we cant get married this will b the only solution .



so i wanted ask all of u that what do u think i should do and what i am doing is right or not ? and please give me some advice



sorry for my poor English
Click to expand...

:sl: my brother that is how haraam relationships first begin. They begin from an innocent friendship and then natural chemistry occurs between the boy and girl and this is because men and women have been created to be attracted to each other so inevitabley if they get to know each other they will start to feel some sort of attraction which will develop into a relationship like yours did.

If she is engaged then why did she get involved with you in the first place? Would you like it if you were engaged to her and she did the same to you? Therefore she is not right for you anyway.

Your mistake was to get to know her in the first place. We should fear Allah and keep away from anything that leads to adultery and that means be-friending the opposite sex. You should repent sincerely and ask Allah for forgiveness for geting involved with this girl. There is no peace and blessings in having haraam relationship with the opposite sex there is only misery, pain, scarring and hurt as many wll tell you who have been through it.

Therefore you must leave her immediatley and repent sincerely for death can overtake you any second and if you die in the state of having a relationship with her then what kind of death will you have? What will you explain to Allah? Let us fear Allah and know that these relationships are ignited by shaythan and he is present in all haraam relationships causing them to occur and develop.

Make the best of your time and go towards Allah. You only have one chance in this life so take it otherwise if you die which you can do ar ANY second then that is your only chance in this life gone. So brother let us try our best to please Allah and go close him.

Implement this as much as you can in your life:

30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!

http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/sho...d-everyday-of-their-lives-before-its-too-late!


Here are some very beneficial talks you should really listen to in order to make you realise the purpose of this life:

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Importance of Prayer (Salat)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNDb41OH46A

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc

Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Shaykh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo



I have pasted some beneficial links for you on various aspects of Islam which i hope you will find VERY useful and beneficial:

DOWNLOAD THE FREE E BOOK- Islam Beliefs and Teachings


http://www.islamicbulletin.com/services/details.aspx?id=268


The translation of salat (namaz) - learn what you’re reading in namaz



http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38303



Overcoming laziness and Procrastination


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=52097



10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners...90404-10-steps-increasing-our-iman-faith.html



Signs of Weak Iman and How to Increase It



http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/weakimanfix.htm



Overcoming tests from Allah



http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=61961



25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety VERY GOOD THREAD



http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=43179


10 steps to getting closer to Allah


http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-purification-soul/134292389-10-steps-getting-closer-allah.html

Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship...-rewarding-good-deeds-all-us-do-everyday.html


VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!


http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/worship-...-everyday.html (VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!)


My Daily Ibadah(worship) check


http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-purification-soul/134289943-my-daily-ibadah-worship-check.html

A party in Paradise, A party in Hellfire



http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39698



The Ultimate Motivation for Muslims



http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49243



The State of the People of Paradise in this World



http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49125


Major Signs before the Day of Judgement


http://www.inter-islam.org/faith/Majorsigns.html


Signs before the Day of Judgement


http://etori.tripod.com/dajjalsystem/judgement.html



The Life of this World and the Hereafter


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51739


Beautiful Description of Paradise in Islam


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51707


Practising az-Zuhd in the Dunya


http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51738



Everything about Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh)



http://www.mohammad-pbuh.com/

(THE SEALED NECTAR)Memoirs of the Noble Prophet [pbuh]
http://www.witness-pioneer.org/vil/Books/SM_tsn/index.htm


For those wanting to look more into Islam



http://forum.mpacuk.org/showthread.php?t=44392
 
Last edited:
Everyone has answered in the same way so I'll mix things up a little and go with something different ;)

First think about the feelings you have:

Do you really love this girl? (3 months? come on?! you can't know her well enough to love her surely). If you had not known about her being engaged do you think you would still have had feelings this strong? Maybe the knowledge that she is engaged has made her more attractive? (don't take this comment the wrong way, I am saying it because its human nature). Can you see yourself with anyone else?

Now onto the actual relationship:

Of course no relationship of this sort is halal but its happened now so deal with it. The girl is only engaged; she is not married. If she feels the same for you why can't she just break off her engagement? Are her feelings for you strong? Or maybe just a passing attraction?

Think about things fully before trying to make her feel uncomfortable with you or blanking her etc. This is a friend of yours so you don't want to hurt them too much. Manipulating people through acting/blanking/putting off is for strangers. People we care for deserve the truth. Just say "I can't continue this because...you are engaged/it's not right/etc.", or "I may have feelings so I'm going to stay away", or "Don't you feel what we are doing is wrong, how can you continue this when you are engaged? shouldn't you be faithful to at least one of us?", etc.
 
Last edited:

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