Relationships

[hanif_]

_muslim_



_muslim_:

That is my question. How can a Muslim be in love with a person they don't know if following the Shariah? We are referring to love of the heart.

A person can love for the Sake of Allah. But this is developed by the deeds and din of the Muslim who you develop love for.

 

[Asiyah3]

Re: _muslim_

_muslim_:

That is my question. How can a Muslim be in love with a person they don't know if following the Shariah? We are referring to love of the heart.

:wa:
Let's not be judgemental brother Love isn't something we always 'choose'. There are some who fall in love quickly and easily -It might result from an accidental look or different situations etc.

A person can love for the Sake of Allah. But this is developed by the deeds and din of the Muslim who you develop love for.

True and this way is typically better for choosing a righteous spouse. Moreover the marriage is more stable and likely to succeed, by Allah's permission.

 

[cat eyes]

So it isn't wrong to be in love as long as it is within reasons?

Then why do some on here act as if it is such a sin? Is it because they are self-righteous people? It's a bit sad to see some newbies to come here and tell their stories only to have people tell them it's a sin, they should go back to the right path and it's haram etc.

I have issues that I've been wanting to pour out but reading some of the responses here have me think several times about letting them out!

well sister nobody here is a scholar so its to be expected. if you are really having a real life problem that you really want to seek answers for then id suggest you find scholar who can give you fatwa on this type of thing.

also id thought id say this just in case you don't know.. lets just say if you did transgress the limits, im not saying that you did or anything but if you did or you think that you might have then its best to conceal it and not tell anybody but repent for it instead and as i advised above get a fatwa from a scholar...

or maybe the brothers or sisters here could find a reliable fatwa here instead of throwing things from there own head of what they believe is right.

All the best:wa:

 

[hanif_]

Re: _muslim_

:wa:
Let's not be judgemental brother Love isn't something we always 'choose'. There are some who fall in love quickly and easily -It might result from an accidental look or different situations etc.


True and this way is typically better for choosing a righteous spouse. Moreover the marriage is more stable and likely to succeed, by Allah's permission.

_muslim_:

did you misunderstand our question. The accusation of our being judgmental is unfounded. I was asking a question to someone providing advice on the love of the heart. A sincere question without malice. The best construction should have been used because the best intentions were used in presenting it.

I recognize now the people who fall in love in this manner.

It is easier to talk about Islam then to actually practice it. May Allah grant us all the power to practice in word and deed.

 

[Getoffmyback]

I like experts opinions on relations issues posted by shari'a followers or experts. And there is always oprah for sensitive newbies .

 

[syilla]

salams ukhtee...

You have to realise that the definition of 'love' is already been defined by the bollywood and love story movie. Where everything is about romance, hugs and kisses, ignoring society, family and parents, and etc...

So when one says about 'love' it really about how they define the meaning of 'love'.

 

[SweetCherryPie]

Children of non-related couples have a 2-3% risk of birth defects, as opposed to first cousins having a 4-6% risk. Genetic counseling is available for those couples that may be at a special risk for birth defects (e.g. You have a defect that runs in your family) In plain terms first cousins have at a 94 percent + chance of having healthy children. Check the links section for more information on genetic counselors. The National Society of Genetic Counselors estimated the increased risk for first cousins is between 1.7 to 2.8 percent, or about the same a any woman over 40 years of age.

No one I know is married to a relative here. Even from way back! To me, it's ridiculous to marry someone that is related to you. But if it works for some people, I guess ... well, it works.

Thanks for the info!

 

[SweetCherryPie]

salams ukhtee...

You have to realise that the definition of 'love' is already been defined by the bollywood and love story movie. Where everything is about romance, hugs and kisses, ignoring society, family and parents, and etc...

So when one says about 'love' it really about how they define the meaning of 'love'.

LOL. That's ridiculous, not you but whoever feels that the definition of love is of that defined by Bolly & Hollywood.

For me, those are fairy tales and nothing comes to close to that in real life.

 

[SweetCherryPie]

well sister nobody here is a scholar so its to be expected. if you are really having a real life problem that you really want to seek answers for then id suggest you find scholar who can give you fatwa on this type of thing.

also id thought id say this just in case you don't know.. lets just say if you did transgress the limits, im not saying that you did or anything but if you did or you think that you might have then its best to conceal it and not tell anybody but repent for it instead and as i advised above get a fatwa from a scholar...

or maybe the brothers or sisters here could find a reliable fatwa here instead of throwing things from there own head of what they believe is right.

All the best:wa:

Thanks, sister. No, I have not transgress the limits but it is something that I have been thinking about and mostly, it's family thing in connection with the 'relationship without the sex-touching-kissing-haram' that I am in.

I think the reason why I prefer to come to this forum to talk or rather ask for some advice is because the other forum that I am a member of for a few years now is mostly dominated by non-Muslims so I wouldn't be getting the kind of advice I need ... also, I feel there are more Middle Eastern people here ...

 

[Asiyah3]

Re: _muslim_

_muslim_:

did you misunderstand our question. The accusation of our being judgmental is unfounded. I was asking a question to someone providing advice on the love of the heart. A sincere question without malice. The best construction should have been used because the best intentions were used in presenting it.

I sincerily apologize, brother imsad I'm very sorry! I wasn't referring to you, but I spoke generally because the sister(threadstarter) here claimed that people here act as if love is a sin:

Then why do some on here act as if it is such a sin? Is it because they are self-righteous people? It's a bit sad to see some newbies to come here and tell their stories only to have people tell them it's a sin, they should go back to the right path and it's haram etc.

I have issues that I've been wanting to pour out but reading some of the responses here have me think several times about letting them out!

So I said let's not be judgemental meaning that the love might not have been developed with transgressing the sharee'ah. If she's bumped into rude or harsh comments on the board, then I'm sorry. Even though I disagree with her. The members I've met on this board have been very undrestandable, kind and helpful. May Allah reward them all.

Indeed you are right I should have framed it in a better manner. Sorry.

I recognize now the people who fall in love in this manner.

It is easier to talk about Islam then to actually practice it. May Allah grant us all the power to practice in word and deed.

Allahumma ameen

 

[SweetCherryPie]

Re: _muslim_

I sincerily apologize, brother imsad I'm very sorry! I wasn't referring to you, but I spoke generally because the sister(threadstarter) here claimed that people here act as if love is a sin:


So I said let's not be judgemental meaning that the love might not have been developed with transgressing the sharee'ah. If she's bumped into rude or harsh comments on the board, then I'm sorry. Even though I disagree with her. The members I've met on this board have been very undrestandable, kind and helpful. May Allah reward them all.

Indeed you are right I should have framed it in a better manner. Sorry.
Allahumma ameen

We will have to agree to disagree then

Yes, everyone should re-read their post before submitting .... as to avoid misunderstanding etc, as I should too.

 

[Asiyah3]

Re: _muslim_

We will have to agree to disagree then

About what?

 

[SweetCherryPie]

Re: _muslim_

About what?

Your disagreement in some of the posters here being a bit harsh - lol.

Anyway, I think I am quite ready to ask a few things or rather share my story with all the brothers and sisters here.

Maybe I'll start a new thread or continue here or shall I just continue here?

 

[hanif_]

Bedside manner!



Do you have another name? What is in a name? It represents who you are! (The poster below)

You can start your own thread in General. This thread is about exhausted.

Ukhti _muslim_ recognizes that the bedside manner of a few are different but if you review the majority of posters they are very compassionate.

But you have to understand you are in an Islamic forum not yahoo chat. So if you view someone who claims they are Muslim on profile displaying Adab in question, answering or revealing haram conduct and situations without contrition the responses will be abrupt.

Some of this is just commonsense. Reflect upon your audience!

 

[SweetCherryPie]

Re: Bedside manner!

Do you have another name? What is in a name? It represents who you are! (The poster below)

What poster? What do you even mean?

You can start your own thread in General. This thread is about exhausted.

Ukhti _muslim_ recognizes that the bedside manner of a few are different but if you review the majority of posters they are very compassionate.

But you have to understand you are in an Islamic forum not yahoo chat. So if you view someone who claims they are Muslim on profile displaying Adab in question, answering or revealing haram conduct and situations without contrition the responses will be abrupt.

Some of this is just commonsense. Reflect upon your audience!

LOL. Thanks, I think.

You have just given me another thought about NOT posting anymore.

 

[syilla]

Re: Bedside manner!

LOL. Thanks, I think.

You have just given me another thought about NOT posting anymore.

Ukhtee... sometimes you may think they are a bit harsh...but actually they are being nice and is a bit concern for the OP in the advice thread.

And sometimes yes their jokes are abit harsh...but if you think it in a positive way...they are actually genuinely concern maybe not so much but at least a bit

If you don't like to create you can always PM those knowledgeable sisters...InshaAllah... i guarantee you they are very nice.

 

[Getoffmyback]

Re: Bedside manner!

What poster? What do you even mean?



LOL. Thanks, I think.

You have just given me another thought about NOT posting anymore.

Don't be afraid of embarrassment . Isn't it what we were taught at school when we were kids , that if you don't answer perfectly we will embarrass you in front of your school mates. Its time to raise your hand and to ask and even say anything you want.

I admire educated people about islam . And reading whats going here on this site is So helpfull.