Grace Seeker
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You are most certainly not alone in these feelings. I refer you to this other thread a nano second away from commiting major sin where many have recently made comment.
Brother hear me out insha'Allah, I'm almost in the same boat as you I left college for the same reasons last year.
Anyhow, I'll give you practical advise, and insha'Allah something else
Practicle things I did
Whenever I saw a 'friend' I'd TRY to think, "I wonder if she'd make a good wife" or I would think about what I liked about them, because in alot of cases it is only physical LUST, and once that feeling is OUT nothing is left for such a girl. So think to yourself honestly, "Would she teach my children to be Hafiz of Qu'ran?' or 'Is she even Muslim?' I know now your probably thinking 'ARGH THATS NOT GONNA WORK' but trust me it works for me, in the sense that the attraction doesnt go away but it is slowed or made smaller by the fact that you know they wouldnt be good wives.
Another practicle thing you can do is think about what 'sex' is. seriously, friends tease you? Tease them back, tell them, 'Well how you going to feel knowin your partner has slept around?' or 'Well at least me saving myself will make it extra special' << obviously you need to make it better LOL.
Wear islamic clothing from head to toe and keep your beard, just as the hijab can be a barriar between guys approachin girls the clothing are also the same for men, this is again as long as the guy is at least being abit modest, for me, when I was changing myself I used to wear a khamis, and I didnt speak to girls, but there were times where I would make mistakes, but thats not a problem as long as the mistakes are not many brother![]()
Go in and out of class, spend more time praying, make sure you have ghusl in the morning and remember always that if you have any need that then after that your ghusl is gone and you might not get the opportunity to clean and might miss prayers!! In class you might talk to the girls, but outside class if you go straight to the prayer room or straight somewhere you wont give them a chance to do anything.
And finally, there is a story of a boy pious kid, who to cut the story short basically got trapped in a house with this beautiful girl who said have sex with me, and he did not want to, so he said let me go toilet first, and he went then he came out with doo doo rubbed on himself and then obviously she let him go. So whilst I dont say rub doo doo on yourself but if worst comes to worst wear attr taht many people might not like, or dont wash for a while, do those things to keep girls away. But when yor going masjid or something then be nice LOL.
But please bro if you need help PM me sometimes just talking about it helps, specially if the person your talking to is similar or going through the same![]()
I hope you don't mind a few words form a Christian. We also deal with this same issue -- though sadly far too many seem to ignore the obligation to remain chaste outside of marriage.
These words of Eesa (a.k.a., Al Habeshi) are really excellent advice. One reason is because he addresses one of the central ways that Shaytan tries to attack us and make us stumble. Shaytan tries to get us to not recognize the other individual as a person, but just as a means to meet my physical needs, my sexual appetite. Eesa reminds us that the "other" is a real human being, not just a sex object met for your personal pleasure. You need to see her this way. And as you see her correctly, you will find yourself wanting to treat her the way you know that Allah intends for a man to treat a woman, that is with respect. If you respect her, love her, care for her, you will not want to involve her in haraam anymore than you wish for it yourself when in your right mind.
I say your right mind, because when these desires take over your mind, it seems to me that you are no longer completely in your right mind. In your right mind you are focused on Allah, submitting to him, knowing that life is a test, but a test that you can pass. When you feel like a major sin is only a nano second away, it must be that you have forgotten that Allah is ever and always present.
From a Christian perspective, we understand ourselves to be the temple of God's Holy Spirit. That is that God is not off someplace else far away watching us, but actually dwells within us. When I think of this, I realize that if I sin with my body, I am asking God to sin with me. I can think of nothing more haraam. It is frightening to think that I might invite the God I worship as holy to be joined with me while I am participating in such a sinful act. Well, you probably don't think in the same way, and I don't mean to impose my faith on you, but you can still imagine that Allah is with you as Al-Waliyy (الولى) The Protecting Friend or as Al-Mu'izz (المعز) The Giver of Honour. What would it mean to be engaged in such activity when he who is always present with you would be asked to observe this within you.
Now, let me try to paint a very fine line. The feelings that are welling up within you are very natural. Allah created you (and every other person) this way to be attracted to one another. But he also created us with a mind and a will with which to control our natural urges. If you give in to them you are behaving not as a human being, but as a dog might. (Or perhaps I could have said any other animal -- an ape or a pig, think of what that means.) Yes, you have these natural urges, but Allah is there to give you supernatural help in the midst of this. Allah is greater. Have you not learned this in your prayers? It is not just words. It is truth, and you must learn to turn these urges over to him to help you. For in truth, on your own, you probably are not strong enough, but with Allah as your helper you surely are.
So what are you to do?
1) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition (I guess in Islam you say dua), with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
2) Remember, many live as enemies of God. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.
3) So you, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
This last bit of advice will help you fill yourself with something else than the lust of the moment. You cannot make lust go away just be wisihing it away or saying that you are not going to think about girls. You were not made that way. But you can fill you mind with something else, something that is what God would have you fill it with, and there will not be the opportunity for lust to take over your body.
As others have said, it won't be easy. If life is a test, did you think it was going to be easy. This is hard. And other things will be even harder. But there is not test that God gives us that he does not also give us the means to pass it. So, it is within you, but to access it you will need God's help. So, ask for it, and then use it. Don't go focusing on what Shaytan is wanting you to focus on. Shaytan wants you to focus on the problem, because then you have to deal with it all the time. Rather focus on God, and don't give Shayton any room to get a foothold in your life.
I wish you both luck and peace.