revert explaining to children

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doodlebug

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Are there any reverts here who have dealt with explaining their conversion to their children? I'm having a very very very difficult time with one daughter. The other daughter really could care less and thinks it's cool when I pray but the oldest one was in tears all day today about it.

Why did I have to change?

I liked the old mommy!

You look scarey with your veil on when you pray!

Why can't you be normal!

:cry:
 
LOL' I think you should try to explain Islam from the very basic...who is Allah, you feelinsg towards Allah, Five Pillars, heaven and hell etc.

You can even show them some Zakir Naik videos but I guess that's overdoing it :D :D :D
 
Salaam alaikum sister,

This must be very hard for you. I pray Allah will comfort your daughter and help her accept your Islam. As a suggestion, there is a series of four books for children written by an American convert sister and it describes her journey to Islam and her 9 year old granddaughter's feelings about it. It might help your daughter somewhat insha Allah.

Here is the link
 
rubiesand said:
Salaam alaikum sister,

This must be very hard for you. I pray Allah will comfort your daughter and help her accept your Islam. As a suggestion, there is a series of four books for children written by an American convert sister and it describes her journey to Islam and her 9 year old granddaughter's feelings about it. It might help your daughter somewhat insha Allah.

Here is the link
Click to expand...


Thanks! I'll order some of those for sure

Her biggest fear is that I'm turning into a nun and that I'm going to run away and join a convent and desert her.:rollseyes I think it's the prayer outfit that I wear.....
 
doodlebug said:
Thanks! I'll order some of those for sure

Her biggest fear is that I'm turning into a nun and that I'm going to run away and join a convent and desert her.:rollseyes I think it's the prayer outfit that I wear.....
Click to expand...
:sl:
Good one!!!
;D ;D ;D
:w:
 
doodlebug.... did you know that in the bible it states that a woman should have her hair shorn or covered? perhaps if your daughter understands that ALL ORGANIZED RELIGIONS ask for modesty not just Islam... the transition won't be so difficult? Also and this is me pls don't crucify me... but I think there are some pretty nice Islamic fashions out there... I will post some... I learned once a hadtih that states
"ina Allah yo7ib An yara Athar ni3mitih 3la 3abdih" I think we should represent our religion well all around... There is nothing in Islam that forbids us from dressing well...
here are some websites I hope inshallah that your daughters will come around
http://www.setre.com.tr/english.html

http://www.shukronline.com/home.html

http://www.veiledbydesign.com/default.php?cPath=49


http://ejilbab.com/category~categoryID~18.html

http://www.razadesigns.com/gallery/details.asp?CA=27&id=185

this one I think is geared at younger crowds
http://rebirthofchic.com/dusters___coats?start=0

http://www.arabesque-hc.com/index.htm

http://www.almuhajabat.com/

I hope inshallah you will find suitable items that make the transition easy on all of you.... otherwise have you thought of family counseling? There are Muslim doctors (psychitrists) and (psychologists) who might help? if you are in NY or NJ please PM I'll give you the contacts of one if the need should arise =)
fi aman illah
 
Abu Skakeen said:
:sl:
Good one!!!
;D ;D ;D
:w:
Click to expand...

I know it's funny and I chuckled silently but she was in tears when she said this and she's totally serious about thinking I'm gonna be locked up in a convent like on Sound of Music and never be able to see her again.

I checked out those books but I don't think they'd work. Any other book suggestions on introducing children to islam when you're a revert?

I think the big problem is that for 10 years of her life I have introduced her vehemently to Catholicism. I have prayed the rosary with her, made her go to church each sunday, put her in religious ed, even when she didn't want to, made her go to confession each Saturday.

And now that's all gone. Even though she'd moan and groan about most of it it was her and my identity together. Now that is gone and it's a big part of who we were as a family.
 
Doodlebug, maybe you can give your daughter a nice hug and make her tea and do something that you usually do together - like going for a walk, cleaning out a cupboard, ...stuff like that. Then explain to her kindly that you will never deseert her and that you love her. Just because mummy changed doesnt mean shes going to stop loving you, it only means im going ot love you more becuase Allah says I have to be really good to my children and take care of my daughters well. Tell her what youre wearing is like a new uniform to show everyone youve changed and want to better yourself.

Tell her that if she wants to learn about mummys new faith, she can watch some videos with her and ask questions. She can even help mummy to put her veil on when she goes out etc.
 
It is a difficult task, but if you think about it, it is also a very beautiful task. The hardest part is that the child is going to wonder why for so many years you have stressed the values of one faith and now suddenly it seems like a whole new set of values. I think care must be taken to explain that your faith was always there, you just had to grow until you were ready for another level and now that you have reached another level it is not that you have thrown a previous faith away you have just expanded your appreciation of God(swt).
 
maybe it would help her if you point out the things in islam that are like the things in your previous religion - that way it wouldn't seem foreign, or like such a major change. stress the similarities.
 
I believe the Children were raised Catholic. There are many more similarities between Catholochism and Islam than difference. Your daughter is already aware of the similaritie between a Nuns habit and a Mussilimah's Hijab'

I believe if you Could find the story of St. Therese and the history of the Rosary it would show even more similarity. St. Therese had great love for Muslims and she introduced the Rosary to Catholachism, it was based on our Dhiker beads. I believe if she could read about St. Therese and her days as a Catholic Nun in Islamic lands she could have a more favorable look at Muslims from a Catholic view point.
 
Woodrow said:
I believe the Children were raised Catholic. There are many more similarities between Catholochism and Islam than difference. Your daughter is already aware of the similaritie between a Nuns habit and a Mussilimah's Hijab'

I believe if you Could find the story of St. Therese and the history of the Rosary it would show even more similarity. St. Therese had great love for Muslims and she introduced the Rosary to Catholachism, it was based on our Dhiker beads. I believe if she could read about St. Therese and her days as a Catholic Nun in Islamic lands she could have a more favorable look at Muslims from a Catholic view point.
Click to expand...


Wow...that might help me too since I never knew that!!! Thanks!
 
OOOps I made an error, memory isn't as good as it used to be. It was St. Claire the Sister of Francis of Assisi who introduced the Rosary Beads after watching the Muslims with their Dhiker beads. Prior to that she used pebbles to count the prayers. The prayers for the Rosary were started by St. Dominic. Prior to St. Claire's introduction the people used any means to keep track of the order and number.
 
Asalamu Alaikum Sis,

My only advice is to tell your daughter... why you changed to Islam.

Tell her why or what in Islam filled your heart with love and passion that you didn't feel in your previous religion.

Tell her to look at Islam from her perspective... and not from the perspective of others or the media... Take the Quran or other islamic books.. and judge it for herself...

Perhaps, if Allah wills, she will be guided to the straight path, Inshallah.

W'salaamz,
Hamid
 

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