Asalaamalykum Brothers and Sisters,
I am new to this forum and my name is Monna. I am not sure If this place is for me. I hope I can get better guidance from here.
I will try to make my story and problems of my life very short so you guys don't get bored or waste your time. Since childhood I used to like one of my male cousins and I admired him lot because he used to be best in school and looks and everything in status. I made my decision at early age i will ONLY marry him. Unfortunately, I moved USA and never got chance to be in touch with him. With my childhood to teenagers I got busy with my school in states and moved on with family etc. I always had him in mind but because our families were not in good relation with each other so I also knew back in my head he's not for me no matter what. And I moved on with couples muslim boys finding either online or got proposals.
Long story short, when I found this guy who was best in education, status, and also similar cast as mine, and also so much style looks, I was sure he is for me, but again, I had breakup and he left me.
After some time, I found another guy, little less than the first one and I had high hopes for him, and again I had breakup for some reasons. And this time I was badly hurt than the last time and thought I can never moved on.....
After 2 years, I recently found this guy 3 months ago and he was more lesser than the last guy, okay in look and education, not my cast, and I still kept hopes that finally i will go for that and again didn't work out for me and I had breakup a week ago. I am still confused to go back to him but again I feel I am the only one who go back every time for any guy in my life.... so not this time atleast.....
I don't know why Its so hard for me to find the right guy for me..... I still don't understand, why I see my cousin in my dreams as like he got free ticket to enter in my dream and ignore me even in my dream and behave like a cousin only. I don't know when I will stop watching him in my dreams because I know he's not for me. His mom and family have told they are not interested and maybe I am just another sister for him in family so I have no hopes anyways and I am ready to find better boy to move on even though I am moved on from cousin for sure.
I don't know where to go from here as I have no hopes left to find any better guy again.... and I am too picky to like anyone comes in my life no matter how good he's in education or look and religion and so on.... If I find my answer as no in the first place then its no forever... I can't change it and I can't forget if I like anyone so easily.... I don't know what I need from you all but I would request pray for me when you pray for yourself in Salah as I need it most.
Thanks
Monna
I am new to this forum and my name is Monna. I am not sure If this place is for me. I hope I can get better guidance from here.
I will try to make my story and problems of my life very short so you guys don't get bored or waste your time. Since childhood I used to like one of my male cousins and I admired him lot because he used to be best in school and looks and everything in status. I made my decision at early age i will ONLY marry him. Unfortunately, I moved USA and never got chance to be in touch with him. With my childhood to teenagers I got busy with my school in states and moved on with family etc. I always had him in mind but because our families were not in good relation with each other so I also knew back in my head he's not for me no matter what. And I moved on with couples muslim boys finding either online or got proposals.
Long story short, when I found this guy who was best in education, status, and also similar cast as mine, and also so much style looks, I was sure he is for me, but again, I had breakup and he left me.
After some time, I found another guy, little less than the first one and I had high hopes for him, and again I had breakup for some reasons. And this time I was badly hurt than the last time and thought I can never moved on.....
After 2 years, I recently found this guy 3 months ago and he was more lesser than the last guy, okay in look and education, not my cast, and I still kept hopes that finally i will go for that and again didn't work out for me and I had breakup a week ago. I am still confused to go back to him but again I feel I am the only one who go back every time for any guy in my life.... so not this time atleast.....
I don't know why Its so hard for me to find the right guy for me..... I still don't understand, why I see my cousin in my dreams as like he got free ticket to enter in my dream and ignore me even in my dream and behave like a cousin only. I don't know when I will stop watching him in my dreams because I know he's not for me. His mom and family have told they are not interested and maybe I am just another sister for him in family so I have no hopes anyways and I am ready to find better boy to move on even though I am moved on from cousin for sure.
I don't know where to go from here as I have no hopes left to find any better guy again.... and I am too picky to like anyone comes in my life no matter how good he's in education or look and religion and so on.... If I find my answer as no in the first place then its no forever... I can't change it and I can't forget if I like anyone so easily.... I don't know what I need from you all but I would request pray for me when you pray for yourself in Salah as I need it most.
Thanks
Monna