AssalamuAlaykum My beautiful sis...
You know....matters of the heart are one thing you will never find a clear-cut 'answer' on, you'll never find a solution, a cure for a broken heart...But sometimes we all need to realise our worth, we need to realise that we make plans and so does Allah (swt), but He is the best of planners.
Firstly, when we hurt somebody, we end up breaking our own hearts in the process, because of the guilt we feel. Most often than not...the person we hurt will make us feel guilty for having treated them in such a way. The thing is sis, it takes two to form a relationship, it takes two for things to end, and thats you and the brother. But one point I want to make is that it takes TWO to move on and make a fresh start also. And that TWO is YOURSELF and ALLAH (swt).....people come and people go, but if your relationship with Allah stays strong and true then you will be the happiest of people bi'ithnillah.
Sis....I know that heartbreak is a killer, there was a time when I was lying awake at night, I could literally feel something breaking in me, my heart felt as though it was being torn apart....But realisation is a great thing, my realisation was that NOBODY could help me apart from Allah (swt) and I think maybe there's several things you need to realise, and you need to realise them on your own.
Firstly sister, you were hurt over the fact that this brother ended it with you, you know what I say? I say masha'Allah, masha'Allah that he had the courage and the nerve to end a haram relationship, sis thank Allah (swt) and remember that if marriage was the right choice for the two of you, nobody at all could have stopped it against Allah's plan.
Sometimes we look back and reflect on some of the things we did in life, we regret and we wish we hadnt done some things, we wonder if things will ever go back to normal and if we will ever get past this stage in life....but sis, life is strange, it makes us hurt before it heals, it makes us lose before we gain and cry before we smile. But that doesnt mean we should give up, we should continue to make du'aa for whatever it is we want, because we should do what we can do, and Allah will do what we cannot do.
You say you're ashamed of what you did after you broke up etc....Sis show that shame to Allah (swt) repent sincerely, if you had told me that you hadnt apologised to those you had hurt, I would have told you to, but since you have, I'll say that you've completed your duty, now it is up to your friends to fulfil their duty as friends and stand by you no matter what, because thats what friends are for.
Personally speaking, I've done many wacky and crazy things over the years, said things to my friends, behaved in strange ways etc but at the end of the day, they always forgave me, because the sign of a true friend is that they'll stand by you through your darkest hours, they'll be there for you, they'll wipe your tears when you cry...and I dont mean to be all sentimental but its true, our girlfriends are so much more important than we give them credit for, and if your friends arent there for you now, or if you're doubting whether or not they'll be there for you, then these arent the sort of people who deserve your friendship.
You sound a little like me btw sis, if I'd ever done something to hurt someody, I'd be afraid, a little nervous of how they might respond to me the next time I met them, and I know that going back to uni will be a massive step for you, but I always found that making du'aa helped, because you know....if worry and stress got us anywhere....we'd probably be the happiest of people, but the fact of the matter is, that it doesnt, that worrying our heads over something that has not happened yet, or something you have no control over, will do nothing but increase your anxiety, know that you are in the right now, for you have repented, you have asked for fogiveness and that is all you need. All that is left now is for you to go to uni next month, with a smile on your face, knowing that Allah (swt) will help you through this, stay strong hun and stay true to yourself, you will meet new people and they will help you get through this stage in life.
And maybe there's one thing you should know, and you may already know about guys is that they move on, when they're hurt they may show it but they heal quick, so although you say you hurt him but he now seems to be happy, its probably because he isnt hurting anymore and that he has forgotten everything and time has healed him, for time is a healer. So dont worry about him anymore, look after yourself now for you're the most important person in this, they can talk, they can give you the cold shoulder, but you have moved on also, you have changed your ways, and I think it takes somebody special, somebody who has a beautiful pure heart and somebody who is true to themselves to not bother about what the people say. For people will say a lot of things, but the one who created you is the most important one, its His (swt) opinion that counts and when you have been wronged, He will be the one to hear your call, He (swt) is Sami3 ash-Shakwa (The hearer of complaints/cries) ... so no matter what happens next month, no matter what anybody says, go back to uni with confidence. You have dont NOTHING wrong sis, nothing at all.
If people dont talk to you, if you have mutual friends, its time to make new ones dont you think...At the end of the day, how long is life? Save up for the aakhirah, friends will come and go. But also, this must be your second/third year at uni? Insha'Allah it'll fly past and then you'll move on to another phase in life, people forgive and people forget, its in our nature, nobody will bear a grudge for long over any of the things you did...Just remain positive.
And lastly sis, if anybody dares mention your past, keep one thing in mind, 'Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future'....And I pray Allah (swt) rewards you in abundance for your patience and for your faith in Him. Ameen!
:wasalamex
absolutely 
