Salam alaykum

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Amoeba

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I am 21 years old and I converted to islam a month ago. I live with my grandmother. My family are all non-muslim. I don't like television and when it's on it drives me nuts. I am still learning how to pray and I am having trouble remembering how to do it, what to say and what it means. It's been a month now and I'm still not getting it.

I also like fruit. My favourite fruit is pomegranate but it's so messy that I rarely eat it.

Sometimes I feel so inferior about Allah that I can't even bring myself to communicate with Him because I feel so small and undeserving of any good he has given me. Since I said my shahada I haven't been a good muslim and have gained so many sins since and next to no good deeds. *sigh* I feel depressed. :cry: And I'm so lazy and unmotivated.

I wish I could move away and start afresh with no distractions under the guidance of someone who knows islam inside out.
 
Wa alaykum salam sister,

Welcome. Try and take one step at a time.

We all sin. Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alaihe Wasalam (peace be upon him) has said the best of sinners is the one who repents. Allah has created us a nation of sinners. Use your sins to remain humble and ask for forgiveness. Allah is All Merciful and he would readily accept your repentence if you are sincere.

Try live in a balance of hope and fear. Hope that Allah will forgive you for everything but don't let it be to the extent that you become complacent. Fear Allah but don't take it to extremes. Strike a balance.

We are told that if you go walking toward Allah he comes running toward you. Be sincere and talk to him from your heart whilst you make dua (supplicate).

Sometimes I feel so inferior about Allah that I can't even bring myself to communicate with Him because I feel so small and undeserving of any good he has given me.
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We are all inferior. It is only by Allah's mercy that any good happens to anyone. Allah is approachable by us all. Don't fret. Just pour your heart out to him.
 
since you converted a month ago, its going to take time, just take baby steps.. it took me at least two years to fully practice my religion and understand it. nothing happens over night.

believing in kalma is an amazing achievement.. Allah showed you this beautiful religion because hes wanting to guide you. i was also sinning. i was not wearing hijab or nothing i was doing sins too but at the end of the day i knew i had islam..and before that i was really lost, depressed suicidal, lewd and completely alone.

i reverted to islam when i was in my teens. don't stress about it. start by reading books about the 5pillars of islam and learn about the basic's first. i would say start learning about your salah first

since this is the most most important pillar. may Allah help you ameen.
 
Mashallah on your reversion, As brothers and will tell you just take baby steps, Even for born muslims who start to practice , they wanna learn everything in one day,

Be patient with your family and May Allah swt help you
 
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Welcome to the forum,may Allaah bless you and ease your path in learning you religion well,insha'Allaah. If you have any questions then feel free to ask,insha'Allaah someone will be able to assist you.
 
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