Serious Help!!!

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:sl: I am truely sorry but this counselling at the mosque, was totally insane, babe there are institutions where you can get recieve help and if you have the Muslim directory you can find associations to near where you live, even if you are able to speak to someone on the phone, but talk to a woman.

If you want to private message me and tell me where you live, i can look in the directory and give you some contact numbers.:w:
 
Hey noorain,
I dont really know where to begin with this!
But I just want you to know that I understand exactly how you feel because I'm in a similar situation myself. I am 18 years old and I have a cousin who's a year older than me and he always has to harass me every chance he gets. Its really upsetting for me and I have kept this a secret from everyone for so many years now. I have no idea what to do about it! Since our families get on quite well, I have a horrible feeling that sometime in the future the suggestion will come up of us getting married and to be honest, I really dont know how I would respond if it were ever to happen. My parents are not the type to emotionally blackmail me or force me into a marriage but I am still dreading the day when it might happen.

I just know that I would never tell my family about it though, dont think I could ever go through with it.. not sure how I would even bring it up! It took me soo long to eventually confide in my best friend who is also my cousin and I felt so much better because finally I had someone to talk to! She understands what I tell her and whenever I talk to her I feel like a big weight is lifted off me. My reason for not wanting to tell is that mine and his familys are very close and if this were to get out, I know for sure there will be a breakup big time and my cousin will be in deep crap. But though I know he deserves it, I dont want to do that to him (call me crazy i know) all his family who are sooo good to me.. I just cant.

I am not the type of person to sit and cry but am getting all teary eyed as i write this now and i'm sorry I dont have any advice to give you but I want you to know you'll be in my duas... hope you get through this ok.
 
Age ant the past are not barriers in justice. If you do not want to marry him, you blatantly refuse. After what he has put you through. Do you want to live with this forever?
rani
 
Yanoorah said:
I don't understand why the above postas are asking you to keep this secret hidden. Sista, the guy shud be locked up n punished severely for what he has done to u.

Since it's been ages ago I dunno if u have kept any evidence to proof wat he has done? imsad

I'm so sorry sister..imsad May Allah protect u ameen.
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I agree, he should be punished for this horrible act. I'm so sorry for what he did to you. This is a really hurtful situation and I would be scared too. I hope you can find somebody you can tell and InshAllah they will believe you.

I wish you all the best sister!! Stay strong!

Jazak Allah Khair
 
AnonymousGender said:
Hey noorain,
I dont really know where to begin with this!
But I just want you to know that I understand exactly how you feel because I'm in a similar situation myself. I am 18 years old and I have a cousin who's a year older than me and he always has to harass me every chance he gets. Its really upsetting for me and I have kept this a secret from everyone for so many years now. I have no idea what to do about it! Since our families get on quite well, I have a horrible feeling that sometime in the future the suggestion will come up of us getting married and to be honest, I really dont know how I would respond if it were ever to happen. My parents are not the type to emotionally blackmail me or force me into a marriage but I am still dreading the day when it might happen.

I just know that I would never tell my family about it though, dont think I could ever go through with it.. not sure how I would even bring it up! It took me soo long to eventually confide in my best friend who is also my cousin and I felt so much better because finally I had someone to talk to! She understands what I tell her and whenever I talk to her I feel like a big weight is lifted off me. My reason for not wanting to tell is that mine and his familys are very close and if this were to get out, I know for sure there will be a breakup big time and my cousin will be in deep crap. But though I know he deserves it, I dont want to do that to him (call me crazy i know) all his family who are sooo good to me.. I just cant.

I am not the type of person to sit and cry but am getting all teary eyed as i write this now and i'm sorry I dont have any advice to give you but I want you to know you'll be in my duas... hope you get through this ok.
Click to expand...

Ohh sis...

Your not crazy for not wanting to say anything. If I were put in this situation I would really want to say something..but then I wouldn't want to re-live that again and have to deal with everyone knowing.

Stay strong sister!!

Jazak Allah Khair
 
AnonymousGender said:
Hey noorain,
I dont really know where to begin with this!
But I just want you to know that I understand exactly how you feel because I'm in a similar situation myself. I am 18 years old and I have a cousin who's a year older than me and he always has to harass me every chance he gets. Its really upsetting for me and I have kept this a secret from everyone for so many years now. I have no idea what to do about it! Since our families get on quite well, I have a horrible feeling that sometime in the future the suggestion will come up of us getting married and to be honest, I really dont know how I would respond if it were ever to happen. My parents are not the type to emotionally blackmail me or force me into a marriage but I am still dreading the day when it might happen.

I just know that I would never tell my family about it though, dont think I could ever go through with it.. not sure how I would even bring it up! It took me soo long to eventually confide in my best friend who is also my cousin and I felt so much better because finally I had someone to talk to! She understands what I tell her and whenever I talk to her I feel like a big weight is lifted off me. My reason for not wanting to tell is that mine and his familys are very close and if this were to get out, I know for sure there will be a breakup big time and my cousin will be in deep crap. But though I know he deserves it, I dont want to do that to him (call me crazy i know) all his family who are sooo good to me.. I just cant.

I am not the type of person to sit and cry but am getting all teary eyed as i write this now and i'm sorry I dont have any advice to give you but I want you to know you'll be in my duas... hope you get through this ok.
Click to expand...
:sl:
thats pretty much EXACTLY my situation, r families r very close as well, and thats y i dont want to tell them cuz its going to break them up
and plus i dont even know how to start telling someone
thank u for u'r post i know its stupid but i feel a little better knowing i'm not the only one w/ this situation.
thank q for u'r duas sister
 
Zahida said:
:sl: I am truely sorry but this counselling at the mosque, was totally insane, babe there are institutions where you can get recieve help and if you have the Muslim directory you can find associations to near where you live, even if you are able to speak to someone on the phone, but talk to a woman.

If you want to private message me and tell me where you live, i can look in the directory and give you some contact numbers.:w:
Click to expand...
:sl:
I actually live in the states, but i'v been in Malaysia for a couple of months since this whole thing happened w/ my parents, they thought it would be better if i left the states where the guy is at for a little while and just get away from the whole thing... even though its not working
my problem is that i dont wanna go to the mosques or islamic places where i live cuz everyone knows me there and even though its the mosque people still talk
i'm just thinkin that my best resort is telling my mom, i just need enough courage to tell her imsad
thank for u'r adivse
:w:
 
Greetings and peace be with you AnonymousGender;

I am so sorry to hear your story and the thought that you might also have to face the same problem as noorain. If you have a close relationship with your parents, the chances are you are correctly guessing what they propose to do about your future marriage.
I know for sure there will be a breakup big time and my cousin will be in deep crap. But though I know he deserves it, I dont want to do that to him
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There is a way to bring this up with your parents after prayer. You can say something along the lines of, I need to tell you something, but I don’t want you to do anything about it, because I cannot offer any proof it happened. I can only tell you my side of the story.

In a way you then have to put your trust in Allah and your parents and pray they will do what is best for you, your cousin, his family and themselves.

And you have Zahida wishing to give you all a big hug.:)

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding,

Eric
 
Greetings and peace be with you noorain, there are some wonderful and caring people on this forum praying for you, and you are in my prayers too.

Your parents sound as if they would want what is best for you, they may well know that you have not told them everything and they are waiting patiently. They may also feel deeply troubled knowing something is wrong but not knowing what it is.

Maybe you need to start by saying sorry to your parents, sorry that you have been deeply troubled for so many years and unable and frightened to say anything before. Sorry that it has caused so many problems between you and your families.

If you said to your parents I want this man punished for what he did, that would cause them a lot of problems. But if you approached your parents after prayer, you can say something like, I need to tell you something, but I don’t want you to do anything about it, because I cannot offer any proof it happened. I can only tell you my side of the story.

In a way you then have to put your trust in Allah and your parents and pray they will do what is best for you, your cousin, his family and themselves.

It will be the most difficult thing you have done in your life, but in your heart you already know you should tell your parents.

And you have Zahida wishing to give you a big hug.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric
 
:sl: Ok little one what you need to do is talk to someone, away from your home, town city or even somewhere that you are close to ,talk and recieve some kind of counselling and support. Talk to your mother and i hope it helps you little one because your mother is the one person you should feel comfortable with in discussing anything........... Find the courage and do it. At least you know you will have done the right thing. Just abit disturbed for you little one i hope your family are understanding when you tell them...... I wish you all the best and pray that Allah eases your difficulties and replaces them with happiness and ease Ameen. Summ Ameen:w::bump1:
noorain said:
:sl:
I actually live in the states, but i'v been in Malaysia for a couple of months since this whole thing happened w/ my parents, they thought it would be better if i left the states where the guy is at for a little while and just get away from the whole thing... even though its not working
my problem is that i dont wanna go to the mosques or islamic places where i live cuz everyone knows me there and even though its the mosque people still talk
i'm just thinkin that my best resort is telling my mom, i just need enough courage to tell her imsad
thank for u'r adivse
:w:
Click to expand...
 
thank u all for all u'r prayers.... I can't thank u guys enough!!
I finally god enough courage to tell my mum i just told her lightly without going into any details and after hours of crying she completely understood me.
 
noorain said:
thank u all for all u'r prayers.... I can't thank u guys enough!!
I finally god enough courage to tell my mum i just told her lightly without going into any details and after hours of crying she completely understood me.
Click to expand...

wow mashallah i'm soooo happy for you sis:statisfie
may allah ease ur pain sis and inshallah you will get ur justice on the day of judgement. :)
 
:sl: After every hardship comes ease........... MashaAllah now it's time to move forward little one............

May Allah watch over you protect you have Mercy on you and guide you to the straight path. Ameen.xxx:):w:
 
Greetings and peace be with you noorain;

I am so pleased you have spoken to your mum, it will be easier from now on to be more open with her.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric
 

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