she doesn't believe I want her

:sl:

the hair issue- as far as i recall there was a difference of opinion on this and some scholars are of the opinion that its allowed for a man to see the womans hair. im sure i read this in sheikh jibalis book on marriage, will recheck and confirm inshaAllah :?
 
What is Permissable for the Suitor to See of the Woman Before the Wedding
Question:

If a man makes a proposal of marriage to a young woman, is it obligatory for him to see her? Also, is it correct for the young woman to uncover her hair and to reveal her beauty more for her fiancé? Advise us, and may Allaah benefit you.
Answer:

There is no objection, but it is not obligatory. Rather, it is preferred for him to see her, and for her to see him. This is because the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salaam ordered the suitor to look at her, because that is more likely to produce harmony between them, so if she uncovers her face, hands and head for him, there is no objection, according to the most correct opinion.

Some of the scholars said that it is sufficient for him to see her face and hands, but the most correct opinion is that there is no objection to him seeing her head, face, hands and feet, according to the aforementioned Hadeeth. But it is not permissible for him to do so, while being alone with her; rather, her father, her brother or another must be present with her. This is because the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salaam said:

‘A man may not be secluded with a woman except with a Mahram.’ Muslim no. 1341

He sallallaahu alayhi was salaam also said:

‘A man should not be alone with a woman, for verily Satan makes a third.’ At-Tirmithi no. 2165 and Ahmad 1/18.

Narrated by Imaam Muslim with an authentic chain of narrators, on the authority of ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him.

Shaykh `Abdul-`Azeez Bin Baz
Fatawa Islamiyyah, Darussalam, volume 5, pages 207/208

source
 
Looking at other than the face and hands of the woman he wishes to propose to

Question: Is it permissible for a man to look at other than the face and hands of the woman he wishes to propose to, such as looking at her hair and her neck?

Response: That which is apparent to me, and Allaah knows best, is that this is permissible without a previous agreement. He (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said that which means:

((If anyone’s heart settles on proposing to a woman, then he can look at that which will lead him to marry her)), [Translators note: This is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abdillaah (radhi-yallaahu 'anhu) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:

((If any of you has proposed to a woman, and if he is able to look at that which will lead him to marry her, then he should do so))]

As regards a previous agreement, then it is not permissible to look at more than the face and hands.

Shaykh al-Albaanee
Fataawa Muhimmah li-Nisaa. al-Ummah – Page 138

source
 
i am gonna be blunt here bro, wth r u doing? ur a MUSLIM man, dnt be so....silly. in islam ur not even supposed to LOOK at a woman twice. this girl already sounds dodgy cos she be freemixng wiz u in da first place. anyway u dnt have to sleep wiz someone to commit zina. what ur doin is zina. stop now b4 its too late n REPENT. if u r serious..BE A MAN ABOUT IT...just go thro her parents PROPERLY n ask for marriage. ur lil thing is already kinda doomed cos of da way u started it...but ur life. stop deluding urself...wat ur doin is wrong, stop using potenal marriage as an excuse....it doesnt make it right. just repent for what u have done n good luck. no one's perfect, just try to correct what you've done n may allah forgive u n all of us for our sins ameen
 
Assalmaolaikum,

why specifically hair? if you can see her face and her body ( as in you can see her functioning ok walking, taking etc) then why hair?

I married my husband without him seeing my hair and after once seeing my face he didnt even get to see that again until I went to his home and I am not a saudi arab or from a backward family, Alhamdolillah from a well educated family.

More over age is not a maturaity factor, by 18 I had a son and looked after a home and husband all on my own and gave career advice to my husband, Alhamdolillah.

The only defect with her hair could be that shes bald.

I dont believe in people trying to fix things themselves it may not even work out. When you involve your parents and your mother goes to see the sister, she'll definately be able to see her more. Thats how it happens in our culture, the mother goes and sees the girl in normal home clothes without hijab but otherwise covered properly. You would have to take her word for it. She'll tell you ALl about her hair when she comes back and has seen her. I would've beeen very insulted if my husband had even spoken to me about marriage himself, let alone asking me about showing hair!!:d seriously bro, send your parents!

If someone is thinking about marrying someone, they are allowed to look at them, they are not given the right to see her awra, hair is apart of awra ( for a woman infront of non mehrams) regardless of conditions ( whether you are thinking of marrying her or not doesnt lift the "ban"), it makes no sense at all.

If her face is pretty then you would have to take a chance with the rest of her body if you ARE beauty conscious. People normally do that in chaste societies, take a chance on whatever they cant see/know.

If you are ok to take a chance on the rest of her body then why not hair? i mean any problem with hair wont be too big right?

May Allah solve your problems and give you some sense too. You may be losing a good sister because of your inconsiderate demands.

:w:
 
:sl:
Maybe the best way for her to find out would be when I kiss her on the ear in bed and utter the words I love you, you are so beautiful. But as you know, in Islam we cannot touch each other before marriage.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry to say this but your actions and your words seem to be going in different directions. You should never start out with something bad and expect a good outcome out of it.

Have patience, pray isthikhara and talk to her parents. Inshallah everything will work out. Inshallah
:w:
 
:salamext:


Some people deny that you care for them because they don't want to hurt you, and want to reject [you] at the same time without wanting to put the blame on themselves.

It's natural, especially if they feel they're being forced to accept someone, who they don't want.


People usually like a challenge of getting what they can't get, not what they're forced to accept.



Allahu a'lam
 
Hmm.. Bro, you du know that women have their flaws aswell? Your focus is far too much on her looks, & if you're so attracted to her 'natural' beuaty, then surley how her hair looks like wouldnt affect how much you 'love her', would it? If her hairs like bushy and electrocuted, you gun' love her any less? Would all that other beauty not show? Women are a gift bro =) Its not always about her looking her best for you. Sorry buh thats what I made out of your posts. Though I can say you did tha right thing by not committing zinaa & any accusations made at you for duin so are pathetic. I hope this gal see's she is worth more than she thinks & I hope you tell her that, but obvioasly not ina flirty disgusting way =). I hope it works ou for you dude. Salaam
 
P.S Dun't put other people down simply because of their age. Its not right either that you think someone who is cupla years younger cannot give their opinion simply because of their age. Your on a public forum, so accept that you'll recieve comments from all age ranges & if its advice your after... Accept it =)
 

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