Should I feel guilty for love too?

[transition?]

Ask the bro to talk to your wali ?

All the best for your future sis..

lol nvm. -_-. stupid question.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

I don't have a wali, other than my father. Culturally, my parents just someone for me within my circle.

I mentioned marriage to my parents. They indirectly responded that they would only allow me to marry after I graduate college. They feel better if I'm financially stable to a certain extent, as they are old and wish that I can take care of myself if the circumstance were to change.

This man wishes to settle down as soon as possible. He might have to wait a few years. I suspended communication with him. I wish he will meet my father somehow but my father travels and rarely socializes outside his business group and small cultural group. I'm not sure when it'll happen.
I'm relying in sister Scents of Jannah's post. Du'a. I think his love for me is stronger, more blinding. I have enough patience and fear of God to wait patiently and suspend communication until I have a wali. If he truly loves me and God, he should be able to do the same. And that is all more the reason for marriage.
My greatest fear is that he is having weak faith days. I really fear for him. If I was married, I'd do more to help him with his faith. But I've stated that it's his test right now. And Allah is the Best Helper.
It's a test for both of us to truly rely on Allah.

JazakAllah khair for everyone's posts.

 

[cat eyes]

I hope you are able to marry him but it's so difficult to change parents'/family's opinions about these things. If marrying him, do have his background checked out by a brother. Always have a brother to back you up (whether he's your relative or the imam or a friend's husband/relative) because one never knows what a guy is like and a woman shouldn't give herself into a man's hands without another male to back her up. Her potential husband should also know that she has ppl she can turn to so that he doesn't take advantage of her being alone.

i wonder if when a woman's family doesn't allow marriage with someone, can she just go to court & get married. I read in a hadith that the woman who doesn't have a wali, her wali is the ruler, and i think the qadi (judge) can then be a woman's wali but am not sure. Anyone know about this? or does she need a male wali even if he isn't a relative? like imam or friend's husband?

totally agree this is more of a mature advice ive seen reading through the thread..finding somebody online they might not be who they say they are and i heard many a story so be careful i bet theres many members here on the forum who had bad experience through online chatting. don't listen to the other advice its all wrong. just be careful!!

 

[Rasema]

don't listen to the other advice its all wrong. just be careful

Which advice was wrong?

We were discussing about her having to get approval from her family to marry him, if she desires to. Because those are the conditions that have to be met under Islam.

Assalamu Alaikum

 

[cat eyes]

Which advice was wrong?

We were discussing about her having to get approval from her family to marry him, if she desires to. Because those are the conditions that have to be met ,under Islam.

Assalamu Alaikum

my apoligies some peoples advice were wrong sorry:nervous: haha:wa:

 

[Rasema]

my apoligies some peoples advice were wrong sorry:nervous: haha:wa:

You are right. He could of even made up his story.

 

[cat eyes]

You are right. He could of even made up his story.

its dose happen. thats the whole idea of appointing some type of mahram for the woman from evil out there xx:wa:

 

[Snowflake]

Over emails.

I'm not sure. Confused. I ignored it. I didn't know what state of mind he said it. I thought I would just let him retract it. I always thought love before marriage is something of the shaytan. O_O.

I wish he will meet my father somehow but my father travels and rarely socializes outside his business group and small cultural group. I'm not sure when it'll happen.

Sis - I was under the impression you knew this brother well from your neighbourhood/city. However, if the brother is willing to meet your mum and the rest of your family, it shows he is serious and he can always meet your father at a later date. And neither is love before marriage is haram. I don't know why people say it is. No one chooses to fall in love so how is something that 'happens' unintentionally, like catching flu, be haram? It's doing forbidden acts in the name of love that is haram.

I have enough patience and fear of God to wait patiently and suspend communication until I have a wali.

May Allah increase you in which He loves. Ameen. MashaAllah you did the right thing.

If he truly loves me and God, he should be able to do the same. And that is all more the reason for marriage.

Absolutely.

My greatest fear is that he is having weak faith days. I really fear for him. If I was married, I'd do more to help him with his faith. But I've stated that it's his test right now. And Allah is the Best Helper.
It's a test for both of us to truly rely on Allah.

There is no need to fear for him sis. Your duaas for him in his absence are far better for him than you being in his 'presence'. Never fear over stuff like this. As you said, "Allah is the Best Helper." That goes for him too.

:wa: