Hi. Just a bit of background about myself before I ask my question. I'm 19 years old and I live in London UK. I was raised by my mother who is a devout catholic. I attended catholic schools, and did other things like Sunday school, altar service etc. My father (who is Muslim) and mother separated when I was a child. He was around when I was young some of the time and I remember him a little.
After he and my mum split, she started to resent him (I can kind of understand why, will explain). She resented him so much that when I was 9, she changed my name which was his name to her family name which I think is a tad extreme. Anyways, I have a older sister who is actually a half sister (2 different fathers). Her father (who was catholic, which doesn't really matter but yeah) died when she was young so when that happened my mother wanted to find someone that would look after her, enter my father. Long story short, they both got married and had me. They had disputes over how to raise me, but he eventually gave in and allowed my mum to raise me catholic. He may have had other intentions down the line which would in turn have him raise me Muslim, not too sure tbh.
Here's the problem, he sexually abused my half sister when my mother was not around. Forgive me but it is such an awkward topic to discuss with my family, so I don't know the details but i believe that he conceded that this happened. My whole family didn't want anything to do with him. He didn't end up going to prison for it or anything. From what I understand, he used to lie a lot and was manipulative.
One thing that may also be important to know is that my family is dysfunctional. My half sister is very harsh towards my mother. It's so bad that you would think that m half sister is the mother. It has gotten physical when fights occur and the abuse is very one sided. I actually want to leave my family and plan on doing so to start a fresh life on my own away from them. Even my mother who I love very much tends to lie to me sometimes in regards to money (hypocritical when you consider that she's catholic). All of this has left me very depressed over the years but no one knows about how I feel. I put a fake smile but I really despise this family, hence why I want to leave.
Back onto my father, I do know that he has remarried and he may have children (my half brothers and sisters potentially). Do you think it would be a good idea to get in touch with him? It would purely be to meet my siblings whom I have never met before (assuming he has children). I don't know how I would even get in touch with him because I haven't seen him in about 12-13 years. I know where he might be living though so I have a chance.
So, what should I do?
After he and my mum split, she started to resent him (I can kind of understand why, will explain). She resented him so much that when I was 9, she changed my name which was his name to her family name which I think is a tad extreme. Anyways, I have a older sister who is actually a half sister (2 different fathers). Her father (who was catholic, which doesn't really matter but yeah) died when she was young so when that happened my mother wanted to find someone that would look after her, enter my father. Long story short, they both got married and had me. They had disputes over how to raise me, but he eventually gave in and allowed my mum to raise me catholic. He may have had other intentions down the line which would in turn have him raise me Muslim, not too sure tbh.
Here's the problem, he sexually abused my half sister when my mother was not around. Forgive me but it is such an awkward topic to discuss with my family, so I don't know the details but i believe that he conceded that this happened. My whole family didn't want anything to do with him. He didn't end up going to prison for it or anything. From what I understand, he used to lie a lot and was manipulative.
One thing that may also be important to know is that my family is dysfunctional. My half sister is very harsh towards my mother. It's so bad that you would think that m half sister is the mother. It has gotten physical when fights occur and the abuse is very one sided. I actually want to leave my family and plan on doing so to start a fresh life on my own away from them. Even my mother who I love very much tends to lie to me sometimes in regards to money (hypocritical when you consider that she's catholic). All of this has left me very depressed over the years but no one knows about how I feel. I put a fake smile but I really despise this family, hence why I want to leave.
Back onto my father, I do know that he has remarried and he may have children (my half brothers and sisters potentially). Do you think it would be a good idea to get in touch with him? It would purely be to meet my siblings whom I have never met before (assuming he has children). I don't know how I would even get in touch with him because I haven't seen him in about 12-13 years. I know where he might be living though so I have a chance.
So, what should I do?
