Single life is killing me

We just have to weather the storm and hope that something will happen but by that time we will be ravaged by frustration
 
SMA89 said:
I would recommend getting a College/University Education before you get married. Once you get married, your financial burden increases and you will need a good job that can take care of you and your family. The only way to get a good income these days is through post secondary education. I believe it will be really hard for you to manage both school, work and family. I am also 20 just like you and I also wanted to get married but I want to have a bright future for my family and I. Dont think i'm immature tho, I am a successful entrepreneur. I have ran 2 small businesses so they cant talk about me not being responsible enough lol. So my recommendation is to get post secondary education then a job, and once you have enough money saved to take care of you and your family, then you should get married.
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will college education save me from zina or will it make me smile because i have someone to talk to about things
 
S<Chowdhury said:
trust me these matrimonial sites are really rubbish, i for a joke put my cousin up on the site and got the sleaziest replies ugh vulgar :raging:........ There are like a billion males and only a few hundred handful of women........
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i agree they are horrible, it's not policed enough it's to free and easy for people to do haraam with it.

I know boys in my class in uni who are only 19 and they chat to girls on there and lie to them and tell them all sorts.
 
SMA89 said:
I would recommend getting a College/University Education before you get married. Once you get married, your financial burden increases and you will need a good job that can take care of you and your family. The only way to get a good income these days is through post secondary education. I believe it will be really hard for you to manage both school, work and family. I am also 20 just like you and I also wanted to get married but I want to have a bright future for my family and I. Dont think i'm immature tho, I am a successful entrepreneur. I have ran 2 small businesses so they cant talk about me not being responsible enough lol. So my recommendation is to get post secondary education then a job, and once you have enough money saved to take care of you and your family, then you should get married.
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Some get through this a lot easier than others.
Some rationalise this a lot easier than others.

Some have something they want/crave/need and that's what.
My issue is not about zina, my issue as I said is about lonliness, and the fact that I've been 'distracting myself' by literally trying to bury myself in work at my job, then coming home, taking over and doing housework non-stop, and parenting others...Like sure, to an extent it's all necessary...But the reason I'm doing all of this is transparently because I'm trying to escape the reality that I need someone to talk to, spend time with, have fun with.

Sure, I have a lot of friends...Each of them has a partner. Fun. I feel like the last single on Earth sometimes.
 
Abdullahii said:
We just have to weather the storm and hope that something will happen but by that time we will be ravaged by frustration
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Yeah Bro insha'Allah you'll get your bush girl hehe :p........ SMA89 i agree to the extent yes it's always better to get an education therefore you can offer your family a better life and provide for them.....however I'm being realistic yes juggling University and a marriage is gonna be very tough but it is still doable though brother SMA89.
 
KittenLover said:
i agree they are horrible, it's not policed enough it's to free and easy for people to do haraam with it.

I know boys in my class in uni who are only 19 and they chat to girls on there and lie to them and tell them all sorts.
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Exactly some even go to the extent of making you enter your mobile number (who do that in the first place is beyond me) to become a member and premium members are allowed to access the sensitive information such as those which i think is rather horrifying.
 
Abdullahii said:
I'm feeling exactly the same :( for me there are two options one is haram and the other is halal, the halal option is made so difficult to achieve when the haram is so easily accessible

it should be the other way round and parents are not helping at all it is as if they forgot that they once experienced this straining temptation...mind you things have changed since then, its now 100 times tougher :( :( :( :(
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I agree with what you have said bro.

Im finding single life hard
 
I have a friend who got married last year and is handling marriage and university quite well I assume. I have another friend who is doing uni, has a wife and 2 kids. But he is not doing AS great in uni from my standards. But he is ok with his performance. So it all depends on what you want from yourself and what are your expectations from the uni experience. Do you want a 4.0 gpa while having a wife or if you can settle for a 3.0? Achieving former is tough.
 
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its absolutely hype when people say you can't balance education and marriage...its nonsense ....if their saying it will not work what solution do they then bring to the table??!
 
Abdullahii said:
its absolutely hype when people say you can't balance education and marriage...its nonsense ....if their saying it will not work what solution do they then bring to the table??!
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the solution that dont get married till you finish education ;D
 
To the OP: Without any offense, it seems your emotions regarding marriage are less of a desire which erupts from within and are more influenced from your surrounding. I mean you said that you felt weird when everyone around you has a partner, you felt left out and lonely. So I would say that this is a temporary feeling, if you get busy in work, youll forget about marriage. I am saying this because I am assuming you are not in a risk of committing zina as you said that "male urges" are a non-issue for you. So wait it out before you marry.
 
Abdullahii said:
its absolutely hype when people say you can't balance education and marriage...its nonsense ....if their saying it will not work what solution do they then bring to the table??!
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Anything is possible bro but why not Master at both? Finish education with a good GPA (mark) then have a good job that can support you and your family and then get married. Less burden on the shoulders. Spend time with friends/family to avoid loneliness. You have to be a man and step up and sacrifice your despair for the good.

I ran a business while taking courses in University. I was outside the whole day from 6AM till 11PM. Sometimes I would come back after midnight. The only time I had for my family and friends was the weekend. Just imagine how my life would be like if I was married. Think logically and make a decision. Create a plan and then implement it. Dont just jump into a risk without calculating the risk. Thats good you came here to ask questions and we hope we can help you make a decision that is the best for your outcome. My best solution to you as a Manager is to plan ahead and ask people that are experienced in this situation and come up with a decision.
 
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SMA89 said:
Anything is possible bro but why not Master at both? Finish education with a good GPA (mark) then have a good job that can support you and your family and then get married. Less burden on the shoulders. Spend time with friends/family to avoid loneliness. You have to be a man and step up and sacrifice your despair for the good.

I ran a business while taking courses in University. I was outside the whole day from 6AM till 11PM. Sometimes I would come back after midnight. The only time I had for my family and friends was the weekend. Just imagine how my life would be like if I was married. Think logically and make a decision. Create a plan and then implement it. Dont just jump into a risk without calculating the risk. Thats good you came here to ask questions and we hope we can help you make a decision that is the best for your outcome. My best solution to you as a Manager is to plan ahead and ask people that are experienced in this situation and come up with a decision.
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I like this approach. I personally know that if I wanted to get that 4.0 gpa, i could not get married cuz it would break away in 2 days :p
 
Abdullahii said:
its absolutely hype when people say you can't balance education and marriage...its nonsense ....
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Yeah Bro it is

There is every right to be concerned that your education shouldn't be overtaken by marriage or vice versa i understand that but if you think about it logically you can actually balance all three out meaning - School Work, Your Marriage and Your Job. The best time of relationship is when the couple can take care of one anothers burden an genuinely support whole hearted. There’s time for everything under the sun. As long as you make time for one another specifically at some point during the day and attempt to support each other again i doubt it would be easy but you can lead a happy marriage whilst still studying. As long as you structure and plan it out it is possible

There also some Pro's to being married whilst studying in University for instances, studies have shown that married individuals are more productive and less likely to be involved in risky things. But more importantly as Brother Abdullahii pointed out can save us from Zina.
 
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KittenLover said:
I feel as if being married would make me do better in my studies and make me excel more.
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It could be different for different people you know. But I do not see how a married person can get >3.8 gpa in pre-med in the North Americas and all the while get involved in umpteenth extracurricular activities and still give time to his wife! Nay, impossible.
 
mad_scientist said:
It could be different for different people you know. But I do not see how a married person can get >3.8 gpa in pre-med in the North Americas and all the while get involved in umpteenth extracurricular activities and still give time to his wife! Nay, impossible.
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You've sort of answered it haven't you it works for different people, so marriage is not for everyone at a young age especially those who have a very intense course such as yourself but for others it could work therefore it rather depends on circumstances doesn't it to a certain extent ?
 
The only person I saw that really survived through this process in a successful way is Chris Gardner from the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness". True Story.
 
S<Chowdhury said:
You've sort of answered it haven't you it works for different people, so marriage is not for everyone at a young age especially those who have a very intense course such as yourself but for others it could work therefore it rather depends on circumstances doesn't it to a certain extent ?
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yup, you are right. That is precisely what I meant. I was just talking for people who are in my boat :p Cant a battered man even do that? :embarrass
 

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