Sister In Law!

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bro eHafiz,what nationality is desi?desi could be either pakistani or indian?innit?
 
Malaak said:
yeah, they will all live together under the same roof.its considered a sign of great fortune that all the sons are living with the parents.otherwise,people think the sons have betrayed their parents and things like that.its so common here.they dont live in independent houses until they start hating each other to the extent that they want to drink each others blood:skeleton::exhausted:omg:lol just kidding.actually,they separate a bit earlier than that.
in bigger families,when they have like six or seven sons,and in turn,their children of all the sizes whatsoever,the house literally looks like a zoo.you cant find a place where you can study calmly or sleep peacefully.children chirping every where.;D;D;D
i agree its nuts,but enjoyable.you can never be alone.
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:sl:

wait a minute please.. what if you want to start a family or something? This has to be incredibly uncomfortable.. does everyone have a palatial home to accommodate all this expansion?
Sob7an Allah.. this just can't be right.. how meddlesome...

Who am I to speak against tradition.. I am glad I am not paki/desi..
does this rule apply also if you marry outside of your culture?
Say you are an Indian guy and want to marry someone from Norway does she still have to move in to your parents' home

:w:
 
it's very common in India form what I know, otherwise not really.

I hate Paki/indian-new word: pakindian- familial traditions, my cousin just got married and his mother+sister moved right in with him the next day :/
my own immediate family's not like that, but man ,,the poor guy..

& eHafiz yaar, just mut dheko, no one said to stare at her when you go to the chiken, I mean kitchen :D, even if she's there just grab the grub and escape,,that's what I'd do atleast, heh

also, man up an kill your own chiken, KFC is not so good methinks.

oh and did you hear why the chicken that crossed the road?

it wanted to get to the other side...,

but KFC got it..

it was a desi chicken too.

heh ok, i'll stop :shade:
 
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lol stop scaring her guys. Skye, its not like that (I hope :p ) It depends on each families situation. Usually... one son will stay with parents to look after them. Rest move out.
 
:haha:.. Rumpelstilzchen coming for the first born.. ah man.. can't be none too pleasant showing up for breakfast with a head scarf ey...

I wouldn't marry under those circumstances.. I have seen a thread where someone asks why it is so hard to get married.. I imagine a horrible tradition like this one is a major deterrent..

:w:
 
Actually, its extremely rare to find unmarried Pakistanis above 30 years old, at least in Pakistan. Another tradition is that the entire family pitches in to help you choose your spouse, whether you want to get married or not.:skeleton:
 
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Gossamer skye said:
:sl:

wait a minute please.. what if you want to start a family or something? This has to be incredibly uncomfortable.. does everyone have a palatial home to accommodate all this expansion?
Sob7an Allah.. this just can't be right.. how meddlesome...

Who am I to speak against tradition.. I am glad I am not paki/desi..
does this rule apply also if you marry outside of your culture?
Say you are an Indian guy and want to marry someone from Norway does she still have to move in to your parents' home

:w:
Click to expand...

people normally start their family in their parents home.and then they might collectively buy a bigger house if the old house if unable to accomodate them all.its just a tradition,not a rule.you can move out if you want to,just you should be brave enough to tolerate peoples comments and gossip....:p
anyhow,good old traditions are dying with modernity.so is this one.you dont need to be scared sis gossamer.:shade:
well,generally,if a son marries a foreigner,parents and relatives expect the bride to follow the tradition but commonly foreigneres are not used to it,so they move out.and it is considered a very selfish and disrespectful attitude.may be thats the reason marrying foreigners is not encouraged...:D
 
My sis in law was over yesterday, and I am still recovering from our five minute friction.. to be quite honest, I don't care if breaching such a tradition would be deemed disrespectful .. I think it is a matter of priority.. unless a family has only boys and no girls.. women no matter how pious and well meaning sooner or later will be at each other' throat.. a good relationship has to be a healthy one.. which means everyone has to have their space.. at least it gives you a chance to miss each other...

I hope such a tradition becomes obsolete unless all parties really want it, which I doubt...
I am not particularly worried that some dude is going to shift me to his parents house.. I am just alarmed that is happens at all.. thinking of the OP, even getting lunch seems like a mission impossible..

I am not going to keep at this anymore.. because I sincerely don't want to be disrespectful to a common accepted tradition.. but to an outsider this seems really outlandish you know..

:w:
 
alcurad said:
it's very common in India form what I know, otherwise not really.

I hate Paki/indian-new word: pakindian- familial traditions, my cousin just got married and his mother+sister moved right in with him the next day :/
my own immediate family's not like that, but man ,,the poor guy..

& eHafiz yaar, just mut dheko, no one said to stare at her when you go to the chiken, I mean kitchen :D, even if she's there just grab the grub and escape,,that's what I'd do atleast, heh

also, man up an kill your own chiken, KFC is not so good methinks.

oh and did you hear why the chicken that crossed the road?

it wanted to get to the other side...,

but KFC got it..

it was a desi chicken too.

heh ok, i'll stop :shade:
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1. If I had more power on this forum, I'd've suspended you for saying KFC is not so good. :X Possibly even a ban.

2. Yeah, I mean, eventually we'll have to work something out. I'll have to go to the chicken to get my food after all.

piXie said:
lol stop scaring her guys. Skye, its not like that (I hope :p ) It depends on each families situation. Usually... one son will stay with parents to look after them. Rest move out.
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I hope by "her" you were not referring to me. :exhausted:raging:
 
If I had more power on this forum, I'd've suspended you for saying KFC is not so good. Possibly even a ban.
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What more power do you want? You're an admin... :ermm:
 
T.I.A said:
What more power do you want? You're an admin... :ermm:
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lol... Yeah, but I can't take decisions on my own. imsad I gotta go through the trolls, zAk, Muhammad, Maalik, and all them. :skeleton:
 
eHafiz said:
lol... Yeah, but I can't take decisions on my own. imsad I gotta go through the trolls, zAk, Muhammad, Maalik, and all them. :skeleton:
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Al7mdlillah walhi what good reason, considering you want to ban a fellow Muslim for chicken chicken chicken lol ;D

and frankly I'll have to take his side (I am not big on fried food) but if I had a choice I'd go for Crown Fried Chicken over KFC.. It is a no brainer...:p

:w:
 
I think that your sister in law should be suffering more than you!
If she wears Hejaab, I don’t think there would be a problem..
She is the responsible to wear Hejab whenever she is outside her room & if you saw her with Hejab in the kitchen, there is no problem, right?

However, if she doesn’t wear Hejab, (but I hope she does), the case will be harder. But you still can ask your brother to tell her to wear Hejab whenever she is outside the room even if she didn't use to do so. She has to respect you since you are in the same house & respect the religion of your family..



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Longing for the Paradise (Al-Jannah) where the endless happiness…
 
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Malaak said:
^or alternatively you can wear hijab:X:><:
@ the OP btw
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Such wisdom mashallah. How about a bright flammingo pink one?

Well, again, just make dua. It'll take some adjustment definitely!
 
why do you call Indians Desis?
what do you call Bangladeshis there?

@eHafiz:I know this may sound uncivilized but as long as you and your S-i-L don't start flirting with each other everything's gonna be fine.Honestly by reading the thread title I thought things were a bit more serious.
 
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eHafiz said:
lol... Yeah, but I can't take decisions on my own. imsad I gotta go through the trolls, zAk, Muhammad, Maalik, and all them. :skeleton:
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lol

Well since she is living with you, try to keep things formal. Like get on with your own daily activities as normal. If she happen to speak to you then just keep things nice and formal.

It is not that hard. I had a female relative (same age as me :skeleton:) who came over to stay at our house for like six months. -_-;;

I simply got on with my daily routine. She only spoke to me when she couldn't find something like the house keys.
 
The problem is really with the rule of living with your parents after marriage to begin with.. you create a bad situation of intense discomfort for everyone and then spend a life time walking on eggshells because problems are bound to arise with too many adults in one household.. sob7an Allah.. I thought Islam was supposed to rid us of strange customs...

:w:
 

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