If we don't maintain our culture and faith then yes.
This is what freedom without responsibility brings.
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So Much for 'Father's Day' - in a Country Where Fatherhood is Dying Out
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If we don't maintain our culture and faith then yes.
This is what freedom without responsibility brings.
xboxisdead
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:heated::heated::heated::heated: WOW!Al-hamdolillah I am single so far ;D Well, well....well =claps hands together= is it ok if I take a break from all of this? I need to rest my mind and not get heated and emotional anymore...I will simply be quiet and read what people post and learn and see other people's point of view. I am going to try to mimic what my dad did (what mom told me my dad did) he spoke sooooooooo little words and all he did is listen from people. He just listened and listened and listened and learned and learned and even learned from other people's mistake before he does it himself so he always avoid doing mistakes by simply learning from people's mistakes and observing the consequences of that action or what is said.
ardianto
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Indonesian people who work abroad and then having affair at there are not men, but women!.
Many of indonesia female migrant workers are married women. And they leave their family at homeland. Yes, it can lead to divorce. Different than male migrant workers who mostly are young unmarried men. And after they finished their contract they return to Indonesia, get married and choose to live in homeland with their families.
Salaam
This is related.
Blurb
This lecture attempts to assess the changing premise of feminism throughout the years. It also sheds light on the historical racism associated the ideology. The lecture compares feminist models of 'women's rights' and Islamic ones.
This is related.
Blurb
This lecture attempts to assess the changing premise of feminism throughout the years. It also sheds light on the historical racism associated the ideology. The lecture compares feminist models of 'women's rights' and Islamic ones.
I appreciate your childhood habit of covering your 'Satar' which is close to sunnah of prophet s.a.w.
Salaam
Blurb
The Motion: This House Believes the State Should Not Recognise Marriage.
Peter Hitchens closes the case for the opposition, as the eighth speaker of eight in the debate.
The motion was defeated.
Overworld
Peter Hitchens says: "it would be nice if we could have continued as a society rather than a collection of people living in the same place"
Beautiful line, and so sad.
Blurb
The Motion: This House Believes the State Should Not Recognise Marriage.
Peter Hitchens closes the case for the opposition, as the eighth speaker of eight in the debate.
The motion was defeated.
Overworld
Peter Hitchens says: "it would be nice if we could have continued as a society rather than a collection of people living in the same place"
Beautiful line, and so sad.
xboxisdead
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Sad but that is life we just have to move on mate. We all know no one cares for husbands, fathers and men's right so as long as men are treated like animals and worse than animals in marriage and parental rights...the marriage is destroyed. We can focus only women in everything about her..about her rights, how she is the weaker sex so we we should empower her...the spot light is only on her and just her and everything is about her...we could do that..and we are doing that...and we feel it make sense to do that and we can marginalize men and put him in the shadow...we could do that also and we are doing that and it make sense to us to do that and thus ...we focus on women issue alone and marriage is about women alone...we could do that..and we are doing that...and it makes total sense for us to to do that...but please don't expect smile on men's faces when it comes to marriage and men AND ANY SMART MEN should delay marriage as much as possible if not simply not get married. Men should wait until mahdi comes and until justice is returned back to him and fairness is returned back to him and Allah subhanahu Wa Talaa send mehdi to us..to teach us we are doing wrong and there is something called husband, father and men right and these are his rights and enforce these rights as serious as we are enforcing women's right and mothers right...THEN I say men should get married. But until then...it is only getting worse. If people don't care about men's right and father's right and husband right...then you don't care about marriage and all these promoting marriage is a hypocrisy from your end. A marriage is by two parties..a man and a woman and thus both have THEIR RIGHTS and should be enforced and respected and not have a man cower down by a domineering wife who wiggles her finger at him...shouts at him and treat him like a child and he should cower at some corner of a room or live in a garage as he have to obey and submit to every of her whims. By the way...as long as we have this stigma where women never are wrong and men are never right..please do not tell men to get married because you are just enforcing oppression and Allah hates oppression.
I say the smartest move for a man is to delay marriage as much as possible and avoid having children until fathers have value back into society and they have rights back and any woman who commit the crime of parental alienation should automatically lose 100% custodial right and be given to the father and if she attempts to kidnap or harm the child she will be put in prison at the same sentence as a man would. YOU DO THAT..then we are talking!
Salaam
Look Xbox bro you've got to calm down and stop being so binary in your thinking and mindlessly blaming women, it goes both ways. The breakdown of the family system in the UK ( apply to others) as explained has been socially engineered by rich powerful elites as explained throughout this thread.
Now I agree just like men can behave badly in marriage women can as well ( I can attest having experienced it), you might be amazed to know many women themselves speak out against this bad behaviour
Blurb
Two great talks by Erin Pizzey and Vincent McGovern at the Families Need Fathers: Domestic Violence Workshop, hosted on 27th October 2018.
Blurb
Esther Vilar's classic polemic about the relationship between the sexes caused a sensation on its first publication. In her introduction to this revised edition, Vilar maintains that very little has changed. A man is a human being who works, while a woman chooses to let a man provide for her and her children in return for carefully dispensed praise and sex.
Vilar's perceptive, thought-provoking and often very funny look at the battle between the sexes has earned her severe criticism and even death threats. But Vilar's intention is not misogynous: she maintains that only if women and men look at their place in society with honesty, will there be any hope for change.
I know this is harsh Xbox bro the only advice I can give you is this.
Bro I understand the pain your going through but the only solution it to try and remain positive and return to Islamic ways of thinking on this subject. Were here to help you.
Look Xbox bro you've got to calm down and stop being so binary in your thinking and mindlessly blaming women, it goes both ways. The breakdown of the family system in the UK ( apply to others) as explained has been socially engineered by rich powerful elites as explained throughout this thread.
Now I agree just like men can behave badly in marriage women can as well ( I can attest having experienced it), you might be amazed to know many women themselves speak out against this bad behaviour
Blurb
Two great talks by Erin Pizzey and Vincent McGovern at the Families Need Fathers: Domestic Violence Workshop, hosted on 27th October 2018.
Blurb
Esther Vilar's classic polemic about the relationship between the sexes caused a sensation on its first publication. In her introduction to this revised edition, Vilar maintains that very little has changed. A man is a human being who works, while a woman chooses to let a man provide for her and her children in return for carefully dispensed praise and sex.
Vilar's perceptive, thought-provoking and often very funny look at the battle between the sexes has earned her severe criticism and even death threats. But Vilar's intention is not misogynous: she maintains that only if women and men look at their place in society with honesty, will there be any hope for change.
I know this is harsh Xbox bro the only advice I can give you is this.
Bro I understand the pain your going through but the only solution it to try and remain positive and return to Islamic ways of thinking on this subject. Were here to help you.
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xboxisdead
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Salaam
Look Xbox bro you've got to calm down and stop being so binary in your thinking and mindlessly blaming women, it goes both ways. The breakdown of the family system in the UK ( apply to others) as explained has been socially engineered by rich powerful elites as explained throughout this thread.
Now I agree just like men can behave badly in marriage women can as well ( I can attest having experienced it), you might be amazed to know many women themselves speak out against this bad behaviour
Blurb
Two great talks by Erin Pizzey and Vincent McGovern at the Families Need Fathers: Domestic Violence Workshop, hosted on 27th October 2018.
Blurb
Esther Vilar's classic polemic about the relationship between the sexes caused a sensation on its first publication. In her introduction to this revised edition, Vilar maintains that very little has changed. A man is a human being who works, while a woman chooses to let a man provide for her and her children in return for carefully dispensed praise and sex.
Vilar's perceptive, thought-provoking and often very funny look at the battle between the sexes has earned her severe criticism and even death threats. But Vilar's intention is not misogynous: she maintains that only if women and men look at their place in society with honesty, will there be any hope for change.
I know this is harsh Xbox bro the only advice I can give you is this.
Bro I understand the pain your going through but the only solution it to try and remain positive and return to Islamic ways of thinking on this subject. Were here to help you.
Thank you brother. I watched the entire horror in the video but nothing positive came from the end of it except they are telling me it is getting worse. Brother if Prophet peace be upon him was with us now and he is living in a country with us with such laws like this, would he still say to the men get married even if he knows that the women can destroy him. Even if he warned the women about such act, do you honestly believe lots of them would care or listen? I don't believe any prophet would tell his people to do something that will harm them or destroy them in anyway shape or form.
Before you answer that question about women would care or listen...I would stop you here and then and say majority of them would not care or listen or even respect the prophet face to face. Why? Because lots of them are doing it now, by not taking his warnings or following his sunnah correctly and I can say the same goes to us men too. The mere fact we say, "Oh it is just a sunnah" it is the same as going in front of the prophet right now face to face and saying to him, "Buzz off buster! You are just a man! I am going to do the bare minimum but I am not going to go out of my way and follow all your way of life or style or interaction with the world."
Isn't it the same as a Muslim person simply praying fast because prayer is a burden to him or herself and just want to get it out of the way as some obligatory checklist?
Tell me if the majority of us aren't doing that already. So that been said, before you prompt marriage to anyone...we need to prompt getting back truly and seriously to the proper path of following the Qura'an and sunnah perfectly well. IN additional to that, there need to be classes about gender roles and classes for men and classes for women (Please! Not just women studies :facepalm::facepalm
. Then...we need to have lectures in Jummah that not just talk about mother's right please, but talks about father's right and husband and wives rights...please. IN additional to that...as much as we put so much emphasis on mothers value, right and paradise under her feet...we need to also talk about husband's statue and put importance to that as we do to importances of mother's statues.Have a society build on that foundation ...... please. Also have a society that wage war on parental alienation and protect the weakest of the two...and that is fathers. Fathers are the weaker parents and there should be more organization and protection against fathers rights or we are just spinning our wheel and going "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I am getting dizzy!" and that my friend is not something I enjoy doing...I hate dizziness. I don't know about you..but I do not like it when the world spins. Maybe others get high when the world is spinning..but not me.
Now for me personally, I never did have a father. SO I don't know nothing about masculinity or know how to be a man and how to have a relationship between a man and a woman. So I am incapable to be a marriage material, a husband and a father.
What we should do if boys are in this boat is simply show them how the prophet peace be upon him interacted in all his worldly affair, how he dealt with the womenfolk, how he dealt as a parent and a husband and how interacted with the society around him. If a boy doesn't have a father and he is at the hand of the mother, it is her responsibility to make sure that he get all masculine attribute and how to become a man by following the footstep of the prophet peace be upon him....and in additional he need to have a physical interaction with a male role model who mimic the way of the prophet. Because that responsibility falls over the mother (when there is no man around) and she will be accounted in the day of judgement of how she raised her son.
But thanks brother for offering to help me
Salaam
Xbox bro heres an example of a positive critique.
Incentives matter.
The U.S. and our allies won the Cold War in part because we had a far superior economic system. The Soviets relied on a quota system enforced by threats of imprisonment. The U.S. and its allies on the other hand relied on an incentive based system. The quota based system works to a degree, but it creates a disincentive for increased productivity. Under a quota based system if you work harder or smarter and produce more, you will find that your quota is quickly raised. No good deed goes unpunished, as your own hard work will always be used against you.
Ironically even as the U.S. was winning the Cold War it was in the process of moving to a quota based system itself. This change happened not on the factory floor, but in the family. In the past our families were marriage based. Men married and lived with their families, and this created an incentive for men to work hard first to signal provider status (to attract a wife) and then to provide for their own families. That men respond to the marriage based system by working harder and smarter is well known, even while economists miss the point. See for example the endless supply of academic papers scratching their heads to figure out why marriage is associated with greater earnings for men but not for women. What is the cause of this mysterious male marriage premium?
Yet while academics are baffled, our family court judges know the answer. They know from experience that when you take away a man’s family you take away much of his incentive to work hard to support that family. When you tell him it isn’t his family anymore, he feels less of a sense of responsibility. Likewise, when you kick a man out of his home, he feels less incentive to work hard to keep paying the mortgage or rent. This is why judges are careful when stripping a man’s family away to assign the man an earnings quota in the form of imputed income. Otherwise, the man is likely to respond to having his home and family ripped away by working like a single man without a mortgage. Like the old Soviet system, the man’s quota is established by his own record of production. If he produces more, his quota will be increased.
I mention this in preface to a post by Dr. Helen titled ‘About 500,000 Young Men Are Missing, and It Isn’t Clear Why ‘. The title is a quote from a Bloomberg article that wonders why young millennial men aren’t working harder:
Though employment rates have been climbing back from the abyss, young men never caught up again. Millennial males remain less likely to hold down a job than the generation before them, even as women their age work at higher rates.
The Bloomberg article uses a familiar trick to personify the trend they are asserting. They introduce Nathan Butcher, who is 25 and not working. Nathan has job opportunities, but isn’t motivated to either start at the bottom and work his way up or to improve his career prospects through education/training, although he talks about wanting to do the latter.
Perhaps not coincidentally, Nathan isn’t a product of our old (marriage based) family model that gave young men an incentive to work hard. As the article explains, he is a product of the new family model, headed by single mothers:
His choosiness could be a generational trait, he allows. His mother worked to support her three kids, whether she liked her job or not.
The implication is that the golden age of responsible single motherhood has passed us by:
“That was the template for that generation: you were either working and unhappy, or you were a mooch,” he said. “People feel that they have choice nowadays, and they do.”
It is more likely that such a golden age never existed. But either way, it is clear that Nathan isn’t motivated to do what it takes to signal provider status and thereby attract a wife:
He’s being selective as he searches for new work because he doesn’t want to grind out unhappy hours for unsatisfying compensation.
“I’m very quick to get frustrated when people refuse to pay me what I’m worth,” he said.
But should we be surprised that Nathan isn’t motivated? We’ve removed the incentives and prestige that once motivated men to work hard to support their families as husbands and fathers. We’ve spent decades teaching men that husbands and fathers are despicable at worst, and at best jokes. All of our entertainment, even product commercials, continuously hammers this message. It isn’t just secular culture either. Christian movies are even worse than secular entertainment in this regard, and Father’s Day is now a day to disparage married fathers in churches across the land. It isn’t just our culture that sends this message. We send the same message with even greater potency with our family courts.
The message is: Men who marry and have children are despicable and deserve the harshest punishments we can mete out.
Now we are scratching our heads asking “Hey, why aren’t these young men knocking themselves out preparing to become husbands and fathers? What is wrong with these losers?” I don’t think Nathan himself knows what is really going on. This new system that dishonors the honorable and discourages men from working hard is the only system he knows. It will also be the only system his children will know. For at the end of the Bloomberg article we learn that 25 year old unemployed Nathan is already a father twice over under our new family model:
He wants to earn enough to provide security for his son and daughter, who live with their mother.
Predictably older conservatives will respond to the failure of our new family model by patting themselves on the back for working harder than young men like Nathan. We are after all the generation that won the Cold War.
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2018/11/05/incentives-matter-2/
Xbox bro heres an example of a positive critique.
Incentives matter.
The U.S. and our allies won the Cold War in part because we had a far superior economic system. The Soviets relied on a quota system enforced by threats of imprisonment. The U.S. and its allies on the other hand relied on an incentive based system. The quota based system works to a degree, but it creates a disincentive for increased productivity. Under a quota based system if you work harder or smarter and produce more, you will find that your quota is quickly raised. No good deed goes unpunished, as your own hard work will always be used against you.
Ironically even as the U.S. was winning the Cold War it was in the process of moving to a quota based system itself. This change happened not on the factory floor, but in the family. In the past our families were marriage based. Men married and lived with their families, and this created an incentive for men to work hard first to signal provider status (to attract a wife) and then to provide for their own families. That men respond to the marriage based system by working harder and smarter is well known, even while economists miss the point. See for example the endless supply of academic papers scratching their heads to figure out why marriage is associated with greater earnings for men but not for women. What is the cause of this mysterious male marriage premium?
Yet while academics are baffled, our family court judges know the answer. They know from experience that when you take away a man’s family you take away much of his incentive to work hard to support that family. When you tell him it isn’t his family anymore, he feels less of a sense of responsibility. Likewise, when you kick a man out of his home, he feels less incentive to work hard to keep paying the mortgage or rent. This is why judges are careful when stripping a man’s family away to assign the man an earnings quota in the form of imputed income. Otherwise, the man is likely to respond to having his home and family ripped away by working like a single man without a mortgage. Like the old Soviet system, the man’s quota is established by his own record of production. If he produces more, his quota will be increased.
I mention this in preface to a post by Dr. Helen titled ‘About 500,000 Young Men Are Missing, and It Isn’t Clear Why ‘. The title is a quote from a Bloomberg article that wonders why young millennial men aren’t working harder:
Though employment rates have been climbing back from the abyss, young men never caught up again. Millennial males remain less likely to hold down a job than the generation before them, even as women their age work at higher rates.
The Bloomberg article uses a familiar trick to personify the trend they are asserting. They introduce Nathan Butcher, who is 25 and not working. Nathan has job opportunities, but isn’t motivated to either start at the bottom and work his way up or to improve his career prospects through education/training, although he talks about wanting to do the latter.
Perhaps not coincidentally, Nathan isn’t a product of our old (marriage based) family model that gave young men an incentive to work hard. As the article explains, he is a product of the new family model, headed by single mothers:
His choosiness could be a generational trait, he allows. His mother worked to support her three kids, whether she liked her job or not.
The implication is that the golden age of responsible single motherhood has passed us by:
“That was the template for that generation: you were either working and unhappy, or you were a mooch,” he said. “People feel that they have choice nowadays, and they do.”
It is more likely that such a golden age never existed. But either way, it is clear that Nathan isn’t motivated to do what it takes to signal provider status and thereby attract a wife:
He’s being selective as he searches for new work because he doesn’t want to grind out unhappy hours for unsatisfying compensation.
“I’m very quick to get frustrated when people refuse to pay me what I’m worth,” he said.
But should we be surprised that Nathan isn’t motivated? We’ve removed the incentives and prestige that once motivated men to work hard to support their families as husbands and fathers. We’ve spent decades teaching men that husbands and fathers are despicable at worst, and at best jokes. All of our entertainment, even product commercials, continuously hammers this message. It isn’t just secular culture either. Christian movies are even worse than secular entertainment in this regard, and Father’s Day is now a day to disparage married fathers in churches across the land. It isn’t just our culture that sends this message. We send the same message with even greater potency with our family courts.
The message is: Men who marry and have children are despicable and deserve the harshest punishments we can mete out.
Now we are scratching our heads asking “Hey, why aren’t these young men knocking themselves out preparing to become husbands and fathers? What is wrong with these losers?” I don’t think Nathan himself knows what is really going on. This new system that dishonors the honorable and discourages men from working hard is the only system he knows. It will also be the only system his children will know. For at the end of the Bloomberg article we learn that 25 year old unemployed Nathan is already a father twice over under our new family model:
He wants to earn enough to provide security for his son and daughter, who live with their mother.
Predictably older conservatives will respond to the failure of our new family model by patting themselves on the back for working harder than young men like Nathan. We are after all the generation that won the Cold War.
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2018/11/05/incentives-matter-2/
xboxisdead
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What are you talking about? In this process there is an incentive for men too. The incentive is not to get married and have children with women in confinement of marriage. This an incentive. I am curious however...let us say all men on Earth decided you know what...heck with marriage and having children and women scream, "I am a strong independent woman! I don't need a man! I am a single mother! Hear me roar...ROOOAAR!" she roars loudly like the most powerful lion and she rips her shirt and pounds her chest like a barbaric gorilla as she jumps from tree to tree branch. I am curious this experiment when reached to that point....how healthy of a society are we? Not very much. But to me. I will be so happy, I will be laughing, because eventually...men got their revenge for been mistreated all this time. Eventually...the bullet will return back to the women and honestly the children.....and when the time comes in the of judgement....THAT IS A HUGE INCENTIVE to further this on...because men will not be blamed...only women will be blamed. Because she had all the power and she exploited the power to hurt their men and their children for vindictive reasons. So to me...that is so satisfying.....for every woman out there who do false rape, allegation and cut ties between the children and their father...I sigh a happy relief of happiness..and you are a Muslim doing this....I sigh a happy of relief. Because you just gave your paradise to this man willingly and you traded your paradise for his hellfire. For any woman out there who does. I thank you. I thank you. I thank you. But to be fair.....and not coming out ugly....for any man who abuse his power over his wife...who verbally abuse her, physically abuse her or cut ties between her and her children or exploit the law to harm her and ruin her reputation.....I also thank you for doing that...because in the day of judgement you traded your paradise for her hellfire. SO I thank you brother for hurting yourself and jumping to the pit of hellfire. Both sexes who act evil...I only point the blame on you...and you earned what you planted and I am not exceptional...it goes to me too.
I told my mother...I told her...if Allah punishes me in the grave and afterlife....I DESERVE EVERY SINGLE PAIN I GOT. Every one of them. If Allah put me in hellfire ...I earned and deserve every single cracking fire that burn my skin and scorch me to blackness.
Nice article Junon.....but understand...man is an evolutionary being...eventually this trait will be inherited from man to son and he will morphed and change to suit his environment. He will consider marriage and having children with a woman an abnormal act and not natural and he will believe that fatherhood indeed is a repulsive act that and disgusting and he will live like the way of animals. He will screw as many woman as he can get and jump from tree to tree, scratching himself and living like the wild. He will work for himself and he WILL BE VERY HAPPY this way....in fact at that time...when you ask him to raise children he will feel the same feeling if his children died on his arm. He will hate it. Refuse and will never conceive with a woman. Maybe then...sperm bank or IVF will be mandatory for woman. If women wish to seek to take all men's role to show man that he is unnecessary we will move into a single sex society of female ruling the world. If this is the world you wish to head in that direction do it. But remember...just because boys disappears from face of the Earth does not mean, violence will go with him. There have been stories of daughters stabbing their own mother, removing their own mother's eyes and been abusive to their parents. Don't think girls are angels with no sins on her. Believe that and you are a disbeliever. Girls are equally violent as boys and can be manipulative and evil as any man can be. Don't you worry about that.