Salam everyone
the reason that i am using the anonymous account is that i dont want anybody to judge me or my family.
my problem is that there are so many things going wrong in my family right now. i'm only 17 and i cant take it. i pray 5 times a day and i try my best to pray each prayer right on scheduele, alhamdulillah. both of my parents pray too, alhamdulillah. the problem is that none of my siblings pray. i try to tell them that they have to pray but they dont listen, and sometimes my brother even mocks me for trying to be religious.
how do i get them to see that they have to make salah?
sister, (sorry about the long post, but plz read it all. I hope it helps)
Your concern for your siblings is commendable. But without understanding the importance of salah and other religious obligations, people, young or old find it difficult to fulfill their duties. I find that the best way to get children to want to practice Islam is to instill in them, love for Allah, fear of His punishments and the merits of his rewards and blessings.
This is not too difficult but requires time and patience. It is simply not effective enough saying they have to pray because that's what Allah has told them to do. A child's mind is very limited in it's knowledge of Allah. To many Allah is just someone who created the world. To create awarness of Allah is of utmost importance before they understand the concept of worship.
Because children find it easier to believe what they can see, you have to look at the world through the eyes of a child and work with that. For example, point to the clouds and say something like, "Isn't it amazing how Allah makes rain fall from clouds." Then go on to say that without water we couldn't survive, so we should thank Allah for this blessing. Praise Allah out loud and let them witness it. Let them see the love you have for Allah and how praise-worthy He is.
Other examples, to create awareness of Allah in a childs mind is to get them to see how the human body works. Children know that to make a TV work, it has to be plugged in to the mains. They know remote controls, mobile phones etc, need batteries to work. Now get them to see how they can move their limbs just by willing to do it. Tell them how amazing it is that we don't need batteries or have to push buttons to make our arms and legs work. Use examples of the sun and it's light and heat. Teach them how different parts of the tongue recognises different flavours. I'd give more examples but my post would get really long. But look around and when you give them an example, tell them that Allah created all these things and for that we should be grateful to Him. Say how horrible it would be if we couldn't see. Make an impact by enforcing the message by saying, if we couldn't see we'd not know if a fly fell into our drink and we drank it, yuk!!!! Make it fun by adding silly little things like saying, "Wow we'd bang our heads together if we couldn't see where we were going, so we should thank Allah for giving us sight." Roll your eyes, use animated expressions at such times and children will love listening to you, and they'll want to know more.
I have been and still give examples like that to my own son who is now 8 years old, mashaAllah. And alhumdullilah a few days ago, he said to me that it's amazing how Allah made different teeth for cutting and chewing and the tongue for pushing the food back in to our mouth. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised but I was gobsmacked! Firstly because I'd never given him that specific example, but he'd realised that through the other things I'd be making him aware of. This is why I know it works. Alhumdullilah, he sometimes prays salah with me on his own accord and bless him, sometimes he tells me to wake him up for fajr. :wub
The main thing is that without me forcing him, he has recognised Allah as the Creator of all things as the Most merciful and Kind and the Punisher for those who disobey Him. I have explained that Allah can see through walls and is always aware of what we do when we think no one is watching us. And I also have told him that we have two angels present who are recording all our good and bad deeds and that this record will be presented to Allah on the day of Judgement. Then from that Allah will decide whether we go to Heaven or Hell. I give some descriptions of Heaven and Hell, so he grows up knowing the score. I don't think children should be coveted from the harsh realities of life. I show him poverty related pics and tell him how lucky we are to have food and a home to live in etc.. Finally I remind him that we are lucky that we are not in that situation and for that we must thank Allah and do what pleases Him, because to Him we shall all return. InshaAllah, the seeds have been planted and I feel that getting my son to pray salah and carry out his religious and moral obligations won't be as difficult now as it would've been if I'd just ordered him to do something out of the blue.
It would be a good idea to buy some children's islamic books and read to them. If money is an issue, there are plenty of childrens sites (islamic) which you can let your siblings browse and begin to open their minds, ready to accept and acknowledge a muslim's way of life. Let them listen to nasheeds, that are easy to understand praise Allah. Yes it takes time, but they will walk the path of Islam more comfortably if you walk with them, hand in hand, rather than pushing them from behind.
my parents keep on fighting about almost everything.
When parents pray salah, yet fight in front of the children, salah has no meaning left for children. They can't associate anything positive with it. This may be one of the reasons why your brother disses salah as something meaningless.
Parents especially, don't like to know that their children think they have some fault with them. The last thing they'd like is their young daughter coming up to their face and telling them that their behavior is affecting the entire family. Yet they need to be made aware.
I suggest the following:
*If you can, purchase a book/cd/tape, on parental duties in islam and anything else that you think your parents may benefit from and gift it to them. If you cannot do that, find info online and print them out. Say you are learning and ask them to read through it and give their views. Play relevant islamic lectures which they can hear if they are not willing to sit down and listen to.
*find out about islamic lectures held at the local mosque and get everyone to go along.
*ask your parents how it would be best to teach your siblings Islamic studies. It will make them think what they have taught them and what their own duties to their children are. As parents are the first role models in every childs life, their behaviour will affect what their children learn. Once these problems have been tackled, it will be easier to deal with your brother's behavior and although he may be hard work, with patience and gentle coaxing, he will eventually begin to see his faults.
Whatever we do, we must always ask Allah to help us solve our problems. Pray for your family sincerely and Allah will help your intentions and make your goals easier to achieve.
I pray everything works out as you wish inshaAllah. MashaAllah keep up the good work
Here are some helpful links inshaAllah
http://members.tripod.com/oum_abdulaziz/rights.html
http://www.simplyislam.com/52371.html
http://www.crescentlife.com/family matters/teaching_children_about_islam.htm
