Salam all, if you have read my previous 2 posts, you will see I am going through a very rough patch and I have been nothing but patient and have done nothing but pray. Although, something else has been weighing down on me and its been eating me alive. I am 19, I finished high school and went back to do Grade 13 because I had no interest in my University program acceptances. Within that time, my life took a sharp turn and I was forced to go to College. It was not in my plans so I hated it, I left after one semester and went to university. I am done first year now, but I only have a few credits and I am still indecisive. I am 19, feeling stagnant towards my peers and I am very very depressed. I feel jealous of everyone else moving on in life and I am still not sure what to do. Wallahi I have never felt this type of fear in my life nor jealousy. I don't know what to do. If I continue in Uni, it'll take me a few years. If I go back to college, I can take my credits and finish in only a couple years with a very respectable Advanced Diploma. I wouldn't hate it this time because I am not as irrational as I used to be ( long story, I suppose ) please tell me what I could do and why I feel so stagnant and hopeless.
Stagnant and feeling behind my peers
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Salaams.
By the way, you don't have to start a new thread to talk about issues you brought up in another post. You can update the old post. First of all, anyone interested could just scroll up to read what you wrote and what others have commented. Like this, unless we go look for your other 2 posts, we are starting all over again. I have a son in the late teens and a daughter in the mid teens. It must be the diet they eat because they seem to think they know what's good for them and it generally revolves around what they want, like or they feel to be important to them. If they don't get it it's either the end of the world. Or they won't be motivated... spoilt because of comparison between others. Make the best of what you've got or spend the rest of your life moping. You made your choice. Enjoy the benefit or suffer the consequences. Or, make the best. It is offering a degree. And you already scoff at it. In the end, it is your choice, and you will make it and I wish you all the success whichever it may be.
eace:
By the way, you don't have to start a new thread to talk about issues you brought up in another post. You can update the old post. First of all, anyone interested could just scroll up to read what you wrote and what others have commented. Like this, unless we go look for your other 2 posts, we are starting all over again. I have a son in the late teens and a daughter in the mid teens. It must be the diet they eat because they seem to think they know what's good for them and it generally revolves around what they want, like or they feel to be important to them. If they don't get it it's either the end of the world. Or they won't be motivated... spoilt because of comparison between others. Make the best of what you've got or spend the rest of your life moping. You made your choice. Enjoy the benefit or suffer the consequences. Or, make the best. It is offering a degree. And you already scoff at it. In the end, it is your choice, and you will make it and I wish you all the success whichever it may be.
eace:
ardianto
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When I was kid, me and my family went to visit our relatives home that located in small town in another province. The distance was far enough, more than 300 km and we must pass village area. On the way suddenly we saw the road was blocked and there was a sign that the bridge collapsed. Local residents told us the alternative route that we could take. The road on alternative route was bad, and the route also bit confusing, so we must stop few times to ask the local resident. But finally we arrived in our destination, our relatives home.
Brother, if you were in that situation, what would you do?. Stopping your journey because you could not pass the collapsed bridge?. Or you would seek an alternative route and continue your journey?. And if you decided to seek alternative route and continue your journey, what makes you do it?.
Destination!. Yes, bro, if you have a destination for your journey, then whatever happen in your journey you will always move on although you must walk slowly on the alternative route. But if you don't have a destination for your journey, indeed, you would stop, stagnant, and don't know what you should do.
We don't know what will happen to us tomorrow. But we must always ready to face whatever will happen. Do you know bro?, I have ever dropped out from secondary school, then dropped out again from university. But I always move on because I had a dream for my future. I have ever failed in business, but I decided to work as salesman as my route to become businessman again. I had a dream for the future, a simple dream, become a father who can fulfill the family needs.
Have a dream for the future bro, then you will have a destination for your life journey.
Brother, if you were in that situation, what would you do?. Stopping your journey because you could not pass the collapsed bridge?. Or you would seek an alternative route and continue your journey?. And if you decided to seek alternative route and continue your journey, what makes you do it?.
Destination!. Yes, bro, if you have a destination for your journey, then whatever happen in your journey you will always move on although you must walk slowly on the alternative route. But if you don't have a destination for your journey, indeed, you would stop, stagnant, and don't know what you should do.
We don't know what will happen to us tomorrow. But we must always ready to face whatever will happen. Do you know bro?, I have ever dropped out from secondary school, then dropped out again from university. But I always move on because I had a dream for my future. I have ever failed in business, but I decided to work as salesman as my route to become businessman again. I had a dream for the future, a simple dream, become a father who can fulfill the family needs.
Have a dream for the future bro, then you will have a destination for your life journey.
BeTheChange
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Walaikaumasalaam
Welcome to the forum! Please spend more time on this forum if you have spare time to read up about Islam - in sha Allah this will bring you peace.
I haven't read your previous posts but i will do soon in sha Allah and will reply back with further advice (if needed). In sha Allah.
The first question that comes to my mind is who are you comparing yourself to? What is your end goal and purpose of life? I hope your purpose is to please Allah swa and to gain entry to jannah. There's always a root problem to why you feel depressed. Is it because you don't know where you're heading? Life is an adventure - we can only control what is in our hands and have trust in Allah swa! Allah swa will do what's right for us so please concentrate on your relationship with Allah swa. Sometimes Allah swa intentionally creates a problem so we go to Allah swa and consult with Allah in our duas and hearts. Maybe you wasn't too religious and Allah swa is trying to bring you closer to deen as this is best for you?
In terms of dunya what do you hope to achieve in terms of career? If you have some ideas and you know which career you want to go into, you should pursue the best option for the career. Some career's don't require a degree and others do. So do some research around this and base a decision on what's required.
You can visit http://www.prospects.ac.uk/ for career advise
Your still very young, and i remember being 19 as well - (even now) sometimes, in life you don't know which road to take. Sometimes you do become indecisive. To help you reach a decision don't compare yourself to peers, family etc. Spiritually, i always strive to compare myself to pious predecessors and that tends to humble me and i feel like i haven't achieved anything. This can also be used as an inspirational to motivate yourself to reach areas within yourself that you thought wasn't possible!
Stop being depressed (easier said than done) - time is precious! Live your life and look after your emotional/spiritual well-being!
I just read all your posts. Every time I look at my peers and see where they are in life and compare their life to mine I do feel down. I remind myself that no matter how behind I am this is exactly where I was destined to be. Allah is in control of my life and He has plans for me. I find comfort in the fact that Allah has written my destiny and say Alhamdulillah 'alaa kulli haal (All praise and thanks are for Allah in every situation). You never know what Allah has going on behind the scenes. If you don't like the position you're in, find a positive mindset to help you like it! Don't let the negativity bring you down. Our lives are full of twists and turns...all out of the unexpected. It's an adventure! Sometimes, it sucks, but we need the sucky times to test our strengths!