Step Children

[Rhubarb Tart]

wa alaykum us-Salaam


i recall coming across some information about custody in the past that i'll have a look into and pass on... but that may not happen until after Ramadan, inshallah.

ukhtee, i kindly advise you (and i :hmm that whatever of the shariah may conflict our personal opinions, that we take it in good stride and have trust in Allah. we must have the conviction in Allah that His shariah is complete. that's why its called 'Faith.' =)

in one point or another in our lives, we've probably all been in a situation where something/someone's attitude has had a negative impact on us/our iman, but lets not let those type of people drag us down with them as well.

if we see anything that conflicts with our own opinion, its best we take a look at ourselves and rectify our own iman before we disregard anything.

im not sure if i constructed that all very delicately or considerately :hmm:, so my apologies if i caused any offense.

Salam

I agree. Don't know if this is compulsory or not. But I will avoid this every conflicting with me anyways. If it is compulsory, there two option which is to either remarry or don't ever remarry. I stick to the latter.

I knew back of my mind this may true but was hoping it wasn't.

I was thinking though one of advantages stated for polygamy is that the man can marry divorcee, help her and kid/s. When he really cant because the child would go to someone else and he don't even have to pay. So I thinking why do people state as that as one of advantages?

Thank anyways, no you did not offend me.

 

[manaal]

General Presidency of Scholarly Research and ifta'

Islamic sharia council

May I draw your attention once again to the above two links that give all the info needed i.e. the fatawa related to child custody.

Salam

I agree. Don't know if this is compulsory or not. But I will avoid this every conflicting with me anyways. If it is compulsory, there two option which is to either remarry or don't ever remarry. I stick to the latter.

Even if you do not marry sister, you have to give your child the opportunity to choose which parent he wants to live with, when he reaches the age of 7 (this age though, is not agreed upon by all the imaams). And if you marry, and your mum is living with you, she can take over the guardianship of your child. It's not like u r not allowed to look at or cut off contact with your child.

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

May I draw your attention once again to the above two links that give all the info needed i.e. the fatawa related to child custody.



Even if you do not marry sister, you have to give your child the opportunity to choose which parent he wants to live with, when he reaches the age of 7 (this age though, is not agreed upon by all the imaams). And if you marry, and your mum is living with you, she can take over the guardianship of your child. It's not like u r not allowed to look at or cut off contact with your child.

My mother is no longer here. And I know that my son would have to choose aged 7 which I don't have a problem because that is only fair. However I'm pretty confident that he would choose me lol. Either way even if he chooses him, I wouldn't a have problem with it. What ever makes him happy.

 

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam

What age is it suitable for children to live with the father? Question:

If a child's parents are divorced, at what age is it suitable for child to live with the father?

Answer:



Abdullah bin Ams bin Atas (RA) reported that a woman said: 'O Messenger of Allah. For this is my son, my womb has been a container, my lap has always carried him and my breast has been a feeder. His father now claims to take him away from me'. The Prophet (SAW) replied: 'You are more deserving to keep him as long as you don't marry.' (Ahmad, Abu Dawud).

Abu Huraira (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAWS) has given a lad a choice between his father and his mother. (Ahmad, Ibn Majah, Tirmidhi)

It is reported by Umarah Al-Jasmi (RA) that he said: 'Ali (RA) gave me a choice between my uncle and my mother and I was either seven or eight at that time.' (Al-Baihaqi)


Till the age of seven the mother has the sole right to have the custody of the child if she marries someone who is not related to the child, she loses her right in the custody. If the child were still under seven, he would be given custody of a female (preferably among the mother's relatives like his maternal aunt or grandmother). But if he is above seven, he is no more in need of a woman's care and he is to be in custody of the father.

If the woman did not remarry, the child is given the choice to stay either with the father or mother. Whatever the choice he (the child) takes the other party will not be denied to see the child on a regular basis.


http://www.islamic-sharia.org/child...table-for-children-to-live-with-the-fa-2.html

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

^^^


It also depends on what school of thoughts the person follows. I know at least two of them says that you have to give the child away to the father aged seven. It is in the links posted twice by Manaal.

 

[nousername]

Asalam alaykum all,

Thank you for your posts. I have learned that it depends on the madhab you follow. Malikis for example believe that the kids should always go with the mother. For now, he stays with me and maybe in the future we will have joint custody.

 

[cat eyes]

I've heard that when a divorced Muslimah with children gets remarried, she has to give away her children to her family or her ex-husband Is this true? it seems so unfair to me. I love my child from my first marriage so much and I got remarried and my husband is mashaAllah such a great stepfather. He is from Egypt originally and i guess it's not so common their to have stepchildren so he was afraid he wouldn't be a good stepdad but alhamdullah he and my son have bonded so well.

So is it true that divorced Muslimahs either have to be lonely for the rest or their lives or give away their children if they want to remarry?

please ask scholar for further information.