Struggling Brother, Advice needed and inspiring story

[cryptcore]

So in 2014 I took my shahada over the phone with a rep from WhyIslam. Everything was fine until the summer of 2015 when I started smoking weed and making excuses as why to not pray and what not. For the next year I just fiddle-farted around and didn't practice as if I was not a Muslim. Summer of 2016 came and I started practicing again heavily for about 3 weeks and then decided that Islam wasn't for me and I just left it completely though I never stopped believing in a higher power. So between 2016 and 2017 when I had left Islam I drank, smoked, watched pornography, and got tattoos.
But all of this changed a few months ago. You see, I was looking for an affordable vacation spot in southeast Asia so I ended up traveling to Indonesia for a week (Jakarta). The entire time I was there, I was simply amazed by the culture and people and everything and I felt this strong draw to Islam once again. Like Allah (SWT) was calling me back home.
The day I left Indonesia, I was in Soekarno-Hatta airport in the Korean Air terminal waiting for my flight. I had about an hour to kill and I was thinking about all of my experiences of the past week. I noticed a sign that said "Musholla" with an arrow pointing to the end of the terminal. Looking at the time, I decided I could afford a walk down there so I went. It was past 'Isha time and the musholla was mainly empty with the exception of the brothers looking over it. I put my backpack down and rushed to make wudhu. After that, I walked onto the carpet and began to pray. It was the most gratifying thing being in a Muslim country doing this as a complete foreigner. Wonderful. When I was done praying, I walked out behind the Musholla and sat on the bench next to my bag.
An Indonesian brother sat next to me on the bench and starting untying his shoes for wudhu. I said "assalaamu alaikum" and reached out my hand. He said "wa alaikum assalaam" with a smile and shook it. I asked him in broken Bahasa if he spoke English and to my surprise he did! I couldn't talk long because I didn't want to miss my flight, but one thing stands out to me. As I was standing up about to leave he asked me if I was Muslim and at that moment I knew I was. I told him yes and that I had reverted in 2014. I believe he said "Mash'Allah" and then went off to make wudhu. I didn't have time to wait for him to pray so I left the room and headed to my gate.
That was Saturday, September 9. And since my return to the west I've been disgruntled and barely practicing still and it makes me depressed. I still have been smoking cigars and watching pornography and I haven't prayed once since Jakarta. Today I am thinking back on all of this and telling myself that I have to get back on the deen. I believe fully in the mercy of Allah awj and so I am asking the advice of everyone here what to do to stay away from fitna and evil and not be led astray again. And how can I be forgiven? I know that the shahada erases all deeds before it but I already had shahada in 2014 so how does that work after leaving Islam and returning again? Thank you, jazakAllah khayr.

 

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

So in 2014 I took my shahada over the phone with a rep from WhyIslam. Everything was fine until the summer of 2015 when I started smoking weed and making excuses as why to not pray and what not. For the next year I just fiddle-farted around and didn't practice as if I was not a Muslim. Summer of 2016 came and I started practicing again heavily for about 3 weeks and then decided that Islam wasn't for me and I just left it completely though I never stopped believing in a higher power. So between 2016 and 2017 when I had left Islam I drank, smoked, watched pornography, and got tattoos.
But all of this changed a few months ago. You see, I was looking for an affordable vacation spot in southeast Asia so I ended up traveling to Indonesia for a week (Jakarta). The entire time I was there, I was simply amazed by the culture and people and everything and I felt this strong draw to Islam once again. Like Allah (SWT) was calling me back home.
The day I left Indonesia, I was in Soekarno-Hatta airport in the Korean Air terminal waiting for my flight. I had about an hour to kill and I was thinking about all of my experiences of the past week. I noticed a sign that said "Musholla" with an arrow pointing to the end of the terminal. Looking at the time, I decided I could afford a walk down there so I went. It was past 'Isha time and the musholla was mainly empty with the exception of the brothers looking over it. I put my backpack down and rushed to make wudhu. After that, I walked onto the carpet and began to pray. It was the most gratifying thing being in a Muslim country doing this as a complete foreigner. Wonderful. When I was done praying, I walked out behind the Musholla and sat on the bench next to my bag.
An Indonesian brother sat next to me on the bench and starting untying his shoes for wudhu. I said "assalaamu alaikum" and reached out my hand. He said "wa alaikum assalaam" with a smile and shook it. I asked him in broken Bahasa if he spoke English and to my surprise he did! I couldn't talk long because I didn't want to miss my flight, but one thing stands out to me. As I was standing up about to leave he asked me if I was Muslim and at that moment I knew I was. I told him yes and that I had reverted in 2014. I believe he said "Mash'Allah" and then went off to make wudhu. I didn't have time to wait for him to pray so I left the room and headed to my gate.
That was Saturday, September 9. And since my return to the west I've been disgruntled and barely practicing still and it makes me depressed. I still have been smoking cigars and watching pornography and I haven't prayed once since Jakarta. Today I am thinking back on all of this and telling myself that I have to get back on the deen. I believe fully in the mercy of Allah awj and so I am asking the advice of everyone here what to do to stay away from fitna and evil and not be led astray again. And how can I be forgiven? I know that the shahada erases all deeds before it but I already had shahada in 2014 so how does that work after leaving Islam and returning again? Thank you, jazakAllah khayr.

I understand that your iman gets low, but you shouldn't turn to sinning. Instead find other things to do. If you keep sinning, your sins will turn into habits, and habits become difficult to break. Surround yourself with good people because that can have a positive effect on you. They will influence you to pray regularly and advise you when you feel low. You have to have a sharp mind and focus. If you want to be closer to your faith, you have to do the things which will make you closer such as praying, asking for forgiveness, making du'a, helping others, etc. I know some countries make practicing easier because we hear the adhan, and we see the gratitude, humility, and selflessness of the people, and then when we go to the west everyone is self-absorbed and disconnected. But you have to make your environment better for you and understanding that Allah alone is sufficient when things are not going your way. And always when you falter, follow the bad deeds with the good deeds and try not to repeat the bad deeds. Allah will forgive you inshallah. May Allah make things easy for you ameen. You're not the only one who faces these issues, but maybe you can be one of the ones who overcomes it

 

[JustTime]

If you can pray in a Masjid in an airport in Jakarta you can pray in a Masjid in your hometown, in your home, in the park etc. There is no difference between the Salah made in a Muslim majority country or country with a non-Muslim majority other than the population around you. You will recite Fatiha and a following Ayah and you will face the Kaaba in Mekkah this entire world belongs to Allah every last drop of the ocean and every last grain of sand in the deserts and every last atom encompassing our surroundings. This religion is meant to be easy and practiced anywhere there is no difference between the White man and the Black man and the Arab and the Ajami and likewise with our lands there is no difference.

If you knew the benefit there was in Salah you would not say any of these things, it is said that Iman increases through acts of Ibadah (worship) and Salah is the Peak of Ibadah and is a pillar of Islam Salah is so essential you are a disbeliever and an apostate if you do not pray this is the status of Salah this was an act that the best of our nation performed like Umar Ibn Khattab and others including the Prophet (SAAWS) not even he was exempt from Salah the Salah we pray today is the same Salah prayed by them and you would be following what they did and they are the best example to us and we are an example to humanity.