Tell Me Wat U Think

[fatima_01]

hey guys/girls hope ur all doin good

ok i hav a mate hu wants 2 do a runner frm hme i knw sum1 hus willing to give her a place to stay.the problem is cuz shes neva had much freedom in her life n shes always sayin tht shed like 2 go clubbin n hav fun n stuff...anyways wat im tryin 2 say is tht shud i help her or not

 

[AhlaamBella]

Help her. My best friend ran away and the life she led then was awful. Sh regrets it so much and now she is married, back with her family and can't be happier alhamdulilah. But the key was that I listened to her and 'sided' with her. I didn't tell her what I thought she was doing was wrong, nor did I lecture her

 

[glo]

hey guys/girls hope ur all doin good

ok i hav a mate hu wants 2 do a runner frm hme i knw sum1 hus willing to give her a place to stay.the problem is cuz shes neva had much freedom in her life n shes always sayin tht shed like 2 go clubbin n hav fun n stuff...anyways wat im tryin 2 say is tht shud i help her or not

Depends ...

1. How old is your friend?
2. Why does she want to run away? Can the problems at home be addressed and solved, or not?
3. Who is this person who can give her a home? Is it somebody who is trustworthy and can give your friend good advice/support?

Just a few questions that spring to mind.

peace.

 

[The Ruler]

ok i hav a mate hu wants 2 do a runner frm hme i knw sum1 hus willing to give her a place to stay.the problem is cuz shes neva had much freedom in her life n shes always sayin tht shed like 2 go clubbin n hav fun n stuff...anyways wat im tryin 2 say is tht shud i help her or not

sis if ur friend is a muslim n u want er to lead a gud lyf, do u personally fink dat clubbin n dem stuff is gud 4 er???...wt u v ta do is tel er...she may not wanna lisen abt islam n stuf so at 1st u gotta speak sense to er as in wt ud appen to er if she movd n all de trouble it wud cause...wen/if she kinda hesitates...den go onto islam n tel er er duty as a muslim...if she is a muslim dat is

 

[syilla]

she can...but at the same time...you should tell her that...you can stay here...but i've to inform your parents too...incase they get worried.

 

[fatima_01]

Depends ...

1. How old is your friend?
2. Why does she want to run away? Can the problems at home be addressed and solved, or not?
3. Who is this person who can give her a home? Is it somebody who is trustworthy and can give your friend good advice/support?

Just a few questions that spring to mind.

peace.

well me mates 15 gna b 16 wen she does a runner hu's house shes gna stay at well its a guys house but im sure shell b alryt.her problems at home cant b solvd as her sisters n prepared to listen to her.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

sister. of course you should help her out! lol
tlk to her. ask her what she thiks she is going to acheive by going clubbing, etc. shes thinks shes gonna have fun, then what!! relly, what sh gonna acehive?? ask er q's like that. find out whats really bothering her, if you dont know already. keep her busy, so that she has something else to think about.
hope that helps

 

[glo]

well me mates 15 gna b 16 wen she does a runner hu's house shes gna stay at well its a guys house but im sure shell b alryt.her problems at home cant b solvd as her sisters n prepared to listen to her.

Your friend is 15/16, wants to run away from home, life with a man in his house and go clubbing???
Sure doesn't sound very Islamic (or particularly safe) to me! :rollseyes

I'm not saying you shouldn't help your friend - but help her by keeping her best interest and her safety in mind!
Can the mosque not help? Or another institution?

Peace.

 

[Dawud_uk]

agree with glo on this one,

this sounds very dangerous and it is not without reason men and women dont free mix in islam and she is going to live with a man?

are her problems so severe that it would be worth risking her deen and honour over if she goes off the rails like she is saying she wants to do?

it would be better you find a pious sister or family she can stop with to help her if her problems are so bad and if they are not then she should stop where she is.

assalaamu alaykum,
Daw'ud

 

[fatima_01]

Your friend is 15/16, wants to run away from home, life with a man in his house and go clubbing???
Sure doesn't sound very Islamic (or particularly safe) to me! :rollseyes


Peace.

lol.my mate needs good company but ppl hu live on there own r nt xactly good company n how long is she gonna go on livin wit sum1 else 2 yrs livin wit other ppl is alot ,shes like a 12 yr old kid xcited by the world cuz shes neva seen much of it.do u guys knw if connections giv ppl houses?

 

[~Stranger~]

Your friend is 15/16, wants to run away from home, life with a man in his house and go clubbing???
Sure doesn't sound very Islamic (or particularly safe) to me!

subhanallah, even non muslim know that.......

ur friend needs help, u should stop her from doing such a thing....

r these things so common in the "muslim" communities in the west? :rollseyes :hiding: :uuh:


truely UNBELIEVEABLE and SICKENING!!!!!

 

[glo]

lol.my mate needs good company but ppl hu live on there own r nt xactly good company n how long is she gonna go on livin wit sum1 else 2 yrs livin wit other ppl is alot ,shes like a 12 yr old kid xcited by the world cuz shes neva seen much of it.do u guys knw if connections giv ppl houses?

If your friend is very immature because she has not been allowed to become more independent, it's all the more important that she is supported by the right people, who will help her and not exploit her vulnerability!!!!

Do you mean Connexions here in the UK?
I don't know much about them, but I found this on their website:
http://www.connexions-direct.com/index.cfm?go=Housing
There are advisors, so you could check with them ...

Good luck.

 

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


I think you should explain to her that she's not doing the right thing. She probably already knows this though, so try to think ahead in the future for her - explain to her that this guy that she wants to live with, why is he allowing her to do that? Is he just doing it because he's expecting reward from Allaah? or is he doing it to take advantage of the fact that she's innocent, so he can do whatever he wants with her?


She might not believe you, but explain to her that guys do take advantage of girls alot and this is obvious, tell her to think about it; is he doing all this because he expects a payment? Or is he doing it so that he can get reward from Allaah? Or is he doing it because he's got the chance to prey on a girl who hasn't got much experience in the world, which means that he can do whatever he wants to her and she won't know what to do about it.

She won't even want to run back to her parents because he knows that she would face bad consequences, and she wouldn't want to tell the police because that gets matters too complicated; so he's not afraid of being caught or anything.


If she feels that the guy won't do anything and she trusts him, if he's going to take her clubbing - what actually happens there? Does she really want to lose her chastity to someone she doesn't even know? Someone who will give up on her because he thinks that shes just a toy?



If she really want's a good life - why not try to work hard on gaining her parent's trust so she can have that freedom with her muslim friends? They can do fun things too, and if she seriosly thinks that fun is getting pregnant at the age of 16 from some stranger she doesn't even know, and later on that stranger will throw her away and probably even abuse her - while she has no family or friends to back her up, then she might want to go ahead and do that.


Did you know that guy's like this call themselves 'players/pimps' - they do this to alot of girls and feel proud of the more that they have - they think that their some bigtimers because they have more gyalz than some next man. So if she feels that she's "special" because this guy wants her to come over, then realise that he's probably done the same to alot of other innocent girls. Some even go to the extreme of forcing the girl to take serios drugs, and later forcing her into prostitution because she's heavily addicted to the drug, and he won't help her out.


This is the real world that we're living in, it's corrupted from all sides - this is why her parent's are trying to protect her. Maybe they should allow her to have some freedom with her muslimah friends, but if she want's to enjoy it in a haraam way - she'll fall into a dark trap which she'll find hard to get out of.


But you know what? Alhamdulillah (praise be to Allaah) - none of that has happened yet. She isn't with the guy, she isn't addicted to no drugs, and she hasn't lost her chastity. She's still safe with her parents, and she has a friend like you that want's to help her out.


Make her think of the consequences, and remind her that people always have a reason to why they do what they do - whether it's good or bad. And tell her to realise that if she want's a life which will lead to evils, Allaah will make that life easier for her, but if she want's the true enjoyment in life of islam, then Allaah will make that path easier for her too. The real life is the afterlife, not this corrupted world that we're living in.

O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy. (Qur'an 2:208)


..in the end will ye be brought back to Him (Allaah) Who knoweth what is hidden and what is open: then will He show you the truth of all that ye did." (Qur'an 9:94)​

Allaah Almighty knows best.


:wasalamex

 

[mas]

salam this is how i see it
leaving home was never the answer. it will just create more problems for here
and if shes muslim that is bad i mean dont she care about her reputation?
so u should find someone who could really help here and calm her down and listen to her.
good luck
my allah help u
salaaaaaaaaam

 

[Snowflake]

Fatima, why are you asking about housing for your friend? You must try everything possible to stop her, not make it easier for her. And it sounds as if in this case words aren't enough.

By you mentioning Connextions Housing, I assume ur in the UK. In that case you should take your friend along to lectures held at mosques and sisters' gatherings. She needs to be coaxed away from what is haraam and helped to realise the consequences of what she is planning to do. She seems oblivious to how a muslim should live his/her life and to the destruction she will bring upon herself in this world and the next.

Tell her there are halal ways of having fun and do whatever it takes to stop her losing her way. Getting to know some practicing muslim sisters will be of benefit to both of you inshaAllah. One should never delay doing a good deed.

Please Fatima, try your best to guide your friend. This is one way of doing jihad. If she has a computer, inv her to join LI and inshaAllah she will learn something that may change her way of thinking.

Her conduct today will affect her offspring in the future. InshaAllah, by guiding her today, you will have helped the next generation tomorrow.

 

[syilla]

ooh...i thought she wants to live in your house...

sorry...

 

[Quruxbadaan]

Asalaamu Alaikum


well to me its as clear as day

ive been there i know what its like to leave home and its not pretty

this boy is a temporary fix to her problem and he likley wont even be effective at that

now i think you should tell this sister that she should stick it thru or that she should try to stick it thru atleast until she can get married or until she can become educated and take care of herself

theres not really much fun in clubbing theres nothing speacial about it really its more like a super market to pick eachother up and demean us women really thats all it is
she should value herself at least i think she should try to tell herself that this is not worth ruining the rest of her life over because that is very possible and actually likely so tell her to turn to allah and to make dua
perhaps u can even have some of the leaders of that area i.e imams or community leaders speak to her

thats my oppinion

Maa salaama

 

[AHMED_GUREY]

hey guys/girls hope ur all doin good

ok i hav a mate hu wants 2 do a runner frm hme i knw sum1 hus willing to give her a place to stay.the problem is cuz shes neva had much freedom in her life n shes always sayin tht shed like 2 go clubbin n hav fun n stuff...anyways wat im tryin 2 say is tht shud i help her or not

if you decide not to help her but inform her parents she will escape one way or the other on her own and find herself all alone in dangerous circles that prey and seek to exploite teenage girls like your friend

and neither you or her parents will know her where abouts

but if you help her you will know where she is and where she stays and might eventually convince her to return home

 

[fatima_01]

ive askd her abt 50 tyms (litreally)if shes absolutely sure she wants to run away n every tym she says yes i dnt think i can make her change her mind. in fact she is now mre determind to do a run.i guess im just gna hav 2 wait n c wat happens wen the tym cums n just hpe 4 the best.

p.s MuslimaH~SistaH soz cnt reply to ur pm just yet i hav 2 write 48 reply's or wateva its called

 

[fatima_01]

ill get bck 2 u EVENTUALLY