Tendency to mistrust and isolate myself

[Studentofdeed]

Alhamdullah I did go to a mosque for jummah but I went to the one that was an hour away. I guess I just enjoyed the anonymity. I realized that I have a tendency to stop talking to my old friends. I isolated myself from my old friends from my past college because they remind me of my traumatic time. I have a huge history of getting backstabbed and abandoned. I'm sad and feel lonely. I gave so much up for Allah and still I feel like Allah isnt pleased and angry. I dnt feel close but far away. I cut contact with lot of my friends because few of them were during the time when I moved to the state. I was looking for friends but those people made fun of me and it damaged me alot so I ended up avoiding them now. I forgave them but I just deleted their numbers. Is that alright? I do not trust anyone and have trust issues. I'm tired and just sad and just want to cry. I feel all my sacrifices have been a waste and useless. What was the point of me even trying?

 

[Studentofdeed]

It's easier for me.to keep fee contacts and not alot.of people because mainly just those few make an effort to stay in mg life...does it make me a bad person if I drop or delete those other friends? I really am too weak to maintain friendships especially when I have to go out of the way or help them when my condition isnt that well

 

[taha_]

Assalam o Alaikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu

Alhamdullah I did go to a mosque for jummah but I went to the one that was an hour away.

That's good. Alhamduilliah, do you pray 5 prayers in home yet?

still I feel like Allah isnt pleased and angry

Again that might be waswas. Just ignore this feeling. Read Surah Dhuhaa.. Maybe I have an idea for you, I suggest setting your electronic note as reminder on your phone or laptop and write that Allah loves you, and want you to do more good deeds, turn back to Him in forgiveness and repentance. Fear Him, put strong hope, trust and faith in Him.

Try read 99 beauitful names of Allah daily, this will make you realize about His attributes, including His kindness and mercy.

It's sad no one cares that I'm honest, and loyal.

These days. most of people don't like truth and prefer falsehood. For example, mawlid is celebrated by most of people, yet it is biddah but they approve it. The truth is that you can fast on Monday to follow sunnah of the Prophet peace be upon him.

Muslim (1162) narrated from Abu Qataadah al-Ansaari (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was asked about fasting on Mondays and he said: “On (that day) I was born and on it Revelation came down to me.”

You can also fast on Thursday.

Be loyal to Allah not people. They are not worthy. Allah is your Lord Who created you. He is your Creator, don't you want to look at His Face? If you really want so. then be loyal to Him, keep doing more good deeds for His sake, ask Him to forgive you, have mercy on you.

Also ask Him to protect you from fitnah, and grant u justice and protection against ur oppressors.

I have a huge history of getting backstabbed and abandoned.

We can learn about our past which is meant to keep us strong and realize our mistakes and sins which will help us to be strong believer which is loved by Allah in sha Allah. We should thank Allah for that.

You know i really don't have alot of friends, but I don't need them. Even a sincere friend is better than hundred of fake friends. Why don't you be friend with Allah? He is Awliya of His believers.

Humble yourself before Allah. don't let people hurt you. don't let your heart take it.

As for marriage. it is still difficult, that's why you need to wait, as Allah has not allowed it yet. Remember He is All-Wise.

You should focus on healing yourself. Try to listen to beautiful recitation of Quran like Surah Taha. I've posted it here. Also recite surah falaaq and anaas on yourself surah faitha aswell. You can also visit doctor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dn60yPZG3A

My opinion. No hurtful statement against u. I hope that Allah will take care of u in sha Allah.

Allah knows best.

JazakAllah khair

 

[Ahmed.]

https://islamqa.org/hanafi/muftisays/9946

https://islamqa.org/hanafi/muftionline/94084

 

[taha_]

does it make me a bad person if I drop or delete those other friends? I really am too weak to maintain friendships especially when I have to go out of the way or help them when my condition isnt that well

I don't think it makes you bad person if you drop out bad friends, but you could try to correct them with evidence from Quran and Sunnah, and if they refuse. you can drop them out, again that is my opinion. Only Allah knows best. just try to find good people and stay with them.


Or just use this forum and stay connected with us. You are our brother here.

Allah knows best.

JazakAllah khair

 

[Studentofdeed]

No matter how hard I try to bury past and forget it, it comes back. I'm tired of living like this. I never played with anyone's feelings yet people go around doing that. Is betrayal and giving false promises of marriage not a big deal? I have been slandered, humiliated, and bullied. What was the point of being a decent person?

 

[Ahmed.]

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20374974

 

[taha_]

Is betrayal and giving false promises of marriage not a big deal?

Assalam o Alaikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu brother.

Of course they are terrible sins to commit.

I have been slandered, humiliated, and bullied. What was the point of being a decent person?

All Prophets peace be upom them have been slandered, insulted, yet they were patient. Because of their strong faith in Allah.

Prophet yusuf peace be upon him had pleasent dream, but then he faced unpleasent trials by will of Allah. and then his dream has been fulfiled.

He did not say "Why did this happen to me?" Even Prophet Jacob peace be upon him after losing Yusuf peace be upon him, still had trust in Allah, then he finally met his beloved son peace be upon him after years.

Allah is All-Wise. He puts His believers into trials so that they will become strong believers, in sha Allah. Strong believers are loved by Allah more than weak believers.

Yes, Prophets peace be upon them are superior to us and we cannot be on their character. but we can learn about their life as lessons.

my opinion.

Allah knows best.