The Conclusion To Noisy Neighbours

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams all.

Hope everyone is well.

I started a lot of threads when I first started on this website. It was to do with my extremely noisy anti social neighbours who I thought were Muslims as they come to the Mosque once in a blue moon and the women sometimes wear scarves etc.

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-and-support/134323572-anti-social-ramadhan.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-and-purification-of-the-soul/134323634-huquqool-ibaad.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-and-support/134323720-post-islamicboard.html


I just thought I would give a bit of an update. I got in contact with one of the Imaams at my local Masjid via email. There were a few emails which were exchanged. Last week before Jummah namaaz, he did a bayaan on Huquqool Ibaad and the consequences of people who did not follow this. He clearly stated that if someone harrasses or causes any kind of upset to their neighbours (any neighbours, not just Muslim neighbours) then they are NOT Muslims and will never enter Jannah. He also said that if anyone has caused anyone harm/upset, they should ask for forgiveness. The senior Imaam then re-iterated everything that was said clearly stating causing someone continuous harm/upset would mean they are NOT Muslims.

The men from both sets of neighbours were present at the Masjid during the bayaan. There were also large notices in the Masjid which showed what the bayaan before Jummah that week was about and they were up for the whole week so they would clearly have read this also. All the ladies in our area listen to the bayaans on the receiver which transmits the bayaan to homes so the women from both sets of neighbours would have heard it also.

I was hoping for both sets of neighbours to come and apologise for all the harm they have caused us over the last 10 years but no, they have now upped their game. They have started hoovering at 7am in the morning when they know we are still sleeping, and the number of door slammings has increased dramatically. What they get out of causing us this harm is beyond me. Surely, constantly slamming their doors will mean that their fixtures and fittings will be getting damaged?



Therefore I would like to apologise to all the Muslims I may have offended on here. I apologise for saying these heathens were Muslims and for saying they followed the same fabulous peaceful religion as all of you. I also apologise to anyone that might have been offended as I have ranted about Islam and why these "Muslims" that lived next to me were being blessed and I was not. Also, an apology to any new Muslims or reverts that might have looked at my posts and were put off Islam or becoming a Muslim.

Via the bayaan I clearly understood that my neighbours are NOT Muslims. They may say they are, and turn up at the Masjid once in a blue moon, but both Imaams clarified that people who do not respect the rights of their neighbours/family/relatives are NOT Muslims. I emailed the Imaam again to ask if I had understood it right and he confirmed it. I now understand why these heathens have chilled out fantastic lives, this world is a test for Muslims but heaven for non believers.


Thank you to everyone who posted on the threads I started and for the people who told me to be patient and do sabar. The Imaam has told me to carry on with this and he also said Allah is with those who are patient and that their (as in the neighbours) time will come. I am counting down the days and hours when this happens. They deserve it. The sooner the better.

Jazakallah.

 

[greenhill]

Alhamdulillah that you have found some peace with this conclusion.

Just a note for you. . Your last paragraph indicates hope on your part. "That their time will come..". And you are counting the days and hours for this justice.

Be aware that you may not know when this will happen, neither would you know in what shape, form or when it will come.

Don't wait. This might be a test for you and that they are sent to test your resolve. Would you revert back to the feelings you expressed right at the beginning if things don't go according to your expectations.

Forget about them. Easier said than done. But it's your only way forward.

Peace :shade:

 

[Muhammad]

Wa Alaykum Assalam,

I do not feel comfortable with this perception, nor do I see how it is a conclusion. It is not our place to judge whether such people are Muslims or not, and whether they will ever enter Jannah or that some punishment is about to befall them. Allaah :swt: knows everything they are doing and He alone knows all the factors behind their actions, whereas we do not. As I have said before, regardless of whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims living next door to you, it does not change the fact that you must still be patient and be a good Muslim. There are non-Muslims who live very luxurious lives and there are those that do not. There are Muslims who live very luxurious lives and those that do not. As brother greenhill said, do not make your relationship with Allaah :swt: hinge upon your personal expectations of those around you.

 

[ardianto]

Before: "Oh, no! they make noise again!"

After: "Since they are not Muslims, it's okay if they make noise"

^o)

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Alhamdulillah that you have found some peace with this conclusion.

Just a note for you. . Your last paragraph indicates hope on your part. "That their time will come..". And you are counting the days and hours for this justice.

Be aware that you may not know when this will happen, neither would you know in what shape, form or when it will come.

Don't wait. This might be a test for you and that they are sent to test your resolve. Would you revert back to the feelings you expressed right at the beginning if things don't go according to your expectations.

Forget about them. Easier said than done. But it's your only way forward.

Peace :shade:

Salaams GREENHILL.

Thanks for your reponse. I really appreciate your advice.

Oh I think you might have misunderstood what I said. Apologies for not having made it clearer and easier to understand. In one of the replies from the Imaam, he said "Allah is with those who are patient" and he also said "Their time will come". I have no idea what he meant by this last statement. The bit where I said "I hope this happens soon" was meant to be in a jokey manner. If something bad happens to them, then so be it. I am not actually sat here counting the hours and days. If nothing bad happens to them, whatever, I am not going to sit in a corner and cry like a big girl and throw my dummy out of pram.

I understand the way I went about this whole dilemma was very dramatic and I have mostly likely committed shirk too, but as someone else has said "Allah knows what we think and are going through" and I was going through an exceptionally hard time during Ramadhan, the fasts were effortlessly long, work was doing my head in and I couldn't get any respite at home thanks to the people who live next to us (hoovering at 8am when we still sleeping, slamming doors throughout the whole day) etc so I blew my top and said a lot of stupid things in anger. I have since repented and have asked Allah for forgiveness and I hope and pray it has been accepted. The Imam also said sometimes we say and do things out of anger but Allah is forgiving and merciful so he said don't get too drowned in what you said, try and never do anything like that again.

I've just Googled "Bukhari and Neighbours Rights" and the writing is quite literally on the walls. I am NOT judging people, however, these people that live next to us are not even letting us have basic rights, they won't let us sleep, they won't let us relax, even when I am on the toilet seat, (they slam their doors and I almost fall of the seat!), where do I stop! Looking at the hadiths, they meet all the criteria for bad/evil neighbours. Forget Islam for a minute, even the non Muslims in the UK have rules and regulations on how to treat neighbours and what is classed as anti social behaviour / criminal conviction, and unfortunately, these people that live next to us meet all the criteria for those too. If these people that live next to us were not brutish thugs (they are known for attacking people that go up against them), I would happily have reported them both to the Police and the local authority.

A few Hadiths I saw online:

6- Refraining from harming your neighbor is a part of faith
Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last day should not harm his neighbor"
(Bukhari: 6475)


11- Love your neighbor
Anas, may Allah be pleased with him narrated that he heard our noble Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, saying: "By Him in Whose hand is my soul, no man truly believes until he loves for his neighbor –or his brother- what he loves for himself"
(Muslim:45,72)


13-Harming a neighbor may lead to hell-fire
Abu Hurayra, may Allah be pleased with him reported: A man asked, "O Messenger of Allah! There is a woman who prays, gives charity and fasts a great deal, but she harms her neighbors with her speech (by insulting them)"
He said: "She will go to hell"
The man said: "O messenger of Allah! There is (another) woman who is well-known for how little she fasts and prays, but she gives charity from the dried yoghurt she makes and she does not harm her neighbors"
He said: "She will go to paradise"
(Ahmad, vol. 4, p. 166, Ibn Hibban, hadith no. 2054)


The worst thing is I actually pity and even feel sorry for these people who live next to us even though they cause us so much anguish. They sometimes pray Qura'an at home, turn up at the Masjid once in a while even. I would LOVE to go round and explain what pain and annoyance they are causing us and that they should stop because it is not doing them any favours in the long run, i.e. afterlife. However, these people that live next to us do not listen to reason. They would probably say "it's not our fault you sleep at 7am, sleep at a different time, we can hoover whenever we like" and "if we want to slam our doors all day, that's up to us, you should stop being so petty".

Oh GREENHILL, how I would love to forget about them and carry on with my life, but it's just not possible. The party they had went on until 2am this morning and then I was woken up by the hoovering at 8am today, Sunday, the one day people like to have a bit of a relaxed day and chill out. The slamming carried on non stop today. My poor little nephews (aged 3 and 6) came over today but got scared when the evil woman from next door kept slamming her doors. *sigh* But yeah, I'm going to carry on being patient, I guess 7 years is not a lot of time to be patient eh?


Also, the Imaam mentioned that if anyone causes a neighbour any harm (even non Muslims), the person being oppressed will become an inheritor on the Day Of Judgement. So the oppressor will have to give away his sawaabs to make up for the anguish they caused to the person being oppressed. If anyone causes their neighbours any harm (even if it's throwing a cigarette butt onto their side so they have to go and sweep it up), I would suggest you stop as soon as possible and try and ask for forgivness in this world.

 

[greenhill]

The bit where I said "I hope this happens soon" was meant to be in a jokey manner. If something bad happens to them, then so be it. I am not actually sat here counting the hours and days. If nothing bad happens to them, whatever, I am not going to sit in a corner and cry like a big girl and throw my dummy out of pram.

That is good news. I was worried for you otherwise as I have read numerous posts here on this board where people give up on the Deen on the account of action done by others or that they feel they have been abandoned by Allah.

Stay strong in being patient. :exhausted


Peace :shade:

 

[hisnameiszzz]

That is good news. I was worried for you otherwise as I have read numerous posts here on this board where people give up on the Deen on the account of action done by others or that they feel they have been abandoned by Allah.

Stay strong in being patient. :exhausted


Peace :shade:

Salaams GREENHILL. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

I won't lie, back in Ramadhan, I did feel like giving up on Deen, but the Imaam explained things to me much better. I also read up on some Hadeeths. If I interpreted them wrong, then that's my bad.

I have a new lease of Deen now and although I know I am probably going to go mental if this harrassment goes on, I know Allah is with those who are patient and that something good will come of this torture in this current life. :shade:


I know I should take a leaf out of my Mom's book. She has lived next door to these people for over 35 years and we were just discussing them the other day. However, my Mom keeps saying I should stay patient and things will eventually get better. I can only hope and pray. I hope you will also pray for me.

And thanks so much again for taking time to reply to my post and for your kind words of advice. I really do appreciate it.

Jazakallah.

 

[greenhill]

Somehow there's always something to
be learned from our mom. Mine was to answer a child truthfully. I remember the lies adults have told me when I asked questions. When I asked them, it was because I wanted to know. Of course I would remember what I'm told. Only to find out later that it was a load of bull . .

:raging:

 

[*charisma*]

Wa'alaikum Assalam,

I'm just wondering why you insist on them initiating their friendliness. I mean maybe there are things that you or your family does that they don't appreciate. I'm only hearing the story from one side about how to get them to stop slamming their door. Maybe it's just a bad habit that they don't really think about when they do it, in which case they'll need constant reminding. When they do it, just go to them and tell them you woke me up, can you try not to slam the doors. Do it often. Also, it seems that's the only relationship you have with them, so maybe you could bake a cake and send it to them..who doesn't like cake

You're the only one who knows the full situation at hand, but I don't understand why they have such an impact on you.

w'alaikum asaaam

 

[Scimitar]

I am still reeling from the whole "muslim family who attends masjid as a gangsters" part

Still, my only advice is this - you think you got problems, until you step into someone elses shoes and then you be like "hey I want my life back" no matter how bad you thought it was... ho hum,

Scimi

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Wa'alaikum Assalam,

I'm just wondering why you insist on them initiating their friendliness. I mean maybe there are things that you or your family does that they don't appreciate. I'm only hearing the story from one side about how to get them to stop slamming their door. Maybe it's just a bad habit that they don't really think about when they do it, in which case they'll need constant reminding. When they do it, just go to them and tell them you woke me up, can you try not to slam the doors. Do it often. Also, it seems that's the only relationship you have with them, so maybe you could bake a cake and send it to them..who doesn't like cake

You're the only one who knows the full situation at hand, but I don't understand why they have such an impact on you.

w'alaikum asaaam

Salaams.

Of course there are things that we do which they don't like. For example, we park OUR car in OUR yard. They have made it perfectly clear they don't like it and that they would prefer to park one of their many cars in OUR yard and if we could park ours a few streets away. She can dream on!

When my Dad died and everyone came to sit, both sets of neighbours said "these are ideal neighbours, they don't make a sound during the day or the night, you couldn't ask for better neighbours". I was like "I wish I could say the same about you!". :nervous:

Trust me, if I baked a cake for them, it would be filled with bleach and other poisonous things. I know that sounds very unIslamic but you come and spend a day at ours and you will think along the same lines too. :embarrass

I don't quite understand what you mean about the "why it is having such an impact on you" bit. Have you read the linked posts? Maybe you should and then you would get the full picture. ;D

I am still reeling from the whole "muslim family who attends masjid as a gangsters" part

Still, my only advice is this - you think you got problems, until you step into someone elses shoes and then you be like "hey I want my life back" no matter how bad you thought it was... ho hum,

Scimi

Uncle gee, my life is good thanks alhamdolillah. If it wasn't for the beasts next door, I would be as happy as errr.... Lukman (it's Larry I know, but I was thinking of an Islamic name). Besides, it's not like a personal problem. That would be if I was heavily into drugs or drink or something like that. This is an external thing isn't it? mg:

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams all.

Sorry, it's only me again. And yes, the problem is still ongoing. The whole conclusion I got from the Imam made me happy for a moment or two, but I was so stressed out, I could not think straight. I didn't even know if I was coming or going and I think the first thing I got told by the Imam, I picked up and ran with.

Could one of you please advise me on what I should do? The harassment keeps going on. I think they are currently doing some DIY, but they only do this late at night, starting at 10pm. I don't sleep until 1am anyway (but it is still making me jump each time they drill / hammer), but it's causing my Mom a lot of grief. She is not well and her being kept up late is having an adverse effect on her health. I had a word with them (and they looked at me like "WTF if your problem?" but it made no difference, they carried on as usual last night. The neighbours on the other side of their house are absolutely petrified of them too and won't say a thing.

I told my Mom I want to get the Police involved, but she said "no chance at all". She thinks patience and sabar is the only way forward. Perhaps not getting the Police involved is a good thing. The people next door are like the kind of people you would avoid at all costs if possible, you know the really nasty people that each community has.

What would you guys do in this situation? Just do sabar? Call the Police and face the consequences? Are there any special prayers? Or am I in the wrong for being a whinger? Is having neighbours drilling / hammering in their bedrooms at 10pm to 11.30pm, and slamming doors shut all day a part of normal life? Is that why Allah is not responding to my prayers? I'm losing the plot here. Please help someone.

Uncle Scimi, please come and shout some advice at me. Anyone? Please? Someone?

 

[BlueOwl358]

That's just, creepyily annoying. I see what you mean, all that sound and they don't even feel anything. What a predicament.

Narrated by Abu Shuraih The Prophet said, "By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe!" It was said, "Who is that, O Allah's Apostle?" He said, "That person whose neighbor does not feel safe from his evil. (Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 45)

According to your description, if there is that much trouble, and someone's health is negatively affected, then that is an act against that person's health. Although the afterlife of such neighbors is upon Allah, this problem needs to be tackled for affecting health. You can't ignore something like this.

"O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm for Allah, witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what you do. Allah has promised those who believe and do righteous deeds [that] for them there is forgiveness and great reward." (Quran 5:8-9)

Once you move any any form of anger or fear aside, the basic thing that it boils down to is if it is affecting you and your mother's own lives in your own home, and to that extent, then this is injustice so the situation calls for action. Just because they are nasty people that should be avoided, does not remove the right to act in the scenario. So do anything that works, tell them, warn them, call the cops, get a warrant, something! Don't lose faith.

"He (Jacob) said, "I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah, and I know from Allah that which you do not know. O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief from Allah. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people."" (12:86-87)


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[hisnameiszzz]

According to your description, if there is that much trouble, and someone's health is negatively affected, then that is an act against that person's health. Although the afterlife of such neighbors is upon Allah, this problem needs to be tackled for affecting health. You can't ignore something like this.

Once you move any any form of anger or fear aside, the basic thing that it boils down to is if it is affecting you and your mother's own lives in your own home, and to that extent, then this is injustice so the situation calls for action. Just because they are nasty people that should be avoided, does not remove the right to act in the scenario. So do anything that works, tell them, warn them, call the cops, get a warrant, something! Don't lose faith.

Salaams and so many shukrian for your response. It really is much appreciated.

I know the best thing for me to do is call the Police, but my Mom says the repercussions will not be nice. I've lived next door to them all my life and I know what they are capable of.

I'm stuck in a bit of a quandary though. Mom is absolutely insistent we don't get the Police involved. There was a really pious Ulamaa that came from South Africa (Moulana Fazlurrahman Azmi) last year to our Masjid and his bayans were all on sabar and not complaining all the time. My Mom seems to think this is the same and we should not complain and just try our best at being patient. Plus she doesn't want to move. She insists on staying in this house until her time comes. A fair point as she is elderly and doesn't want change, her sister lives in the opposite street, and we were all born and raised here, plus we get on with all the other people near us. So she doesn't want me to call the Police or move. What can I do?

A bit of an update, the decorating is still ongoing but only after 10pm when they know we go to bed and this is on a daily basis. What do they get out of it? I just can't work it out? Why makes a family's life hell?

Sorry, I know I am clutching at straws now, but any pearls of wisdom perhaps? Anyone?

Jazakallah for reading.

 

[BlueOwl358]

Well, if your mom really wants to keep that stance, then you can still accept her request, as it is also a very valid one. The final choice boils down to you and both options are viable ones. Patience is important. I suggested taking action because it would be allowed and it seemed to be needed, but patience would be as good, if not better of an option. I can't really help you. Sorry. This is God's test and going through it through patience would be better as that is what is expected of you, isn't it? If you can bear through it, then that would be wiser. But if you really do need to, then you should call the Police, hang on as long as you can.

"And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah]" (Quran 6:25)
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[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams all.

Me again, with the same problem! :exhausted

I’ve read Hamzah’s very helpful post about trials and tribulations (thank you so much for going out of your way to post all that extremely useful information) and I found it very useful.I understand better about why Allah tests us and the reason for it.Shaytaan put evil thoughts in my head when I posted back in Ramadhan where I was saying crazy things like “Why does Allah always test me and no one else?”, “Islam does not make sense”, “Why do good things happen to nasty people?”, “I’m going to stop following Islam” etc.I never acted upon them but I was so fed up at that time I was ready to explode. I apologise to anyone if I offended them with those comments.

I've just got a few questions I would like to ask on here, if you guys don't mind. I know there are some very well learned posters on here and I hope they will be able to advise me. I've tried getting in touch with Imams and Muftis but they always seem to busy (which is understandable as they have busy lives, families, children, madressah, work etc) and never have time to answer questions even if it is via email.

1) Can anyone work out or understand why my neighbours go out of their way to make our life hell? They start hammering either before 8am or after 10pm at night and it goes on for a few hours. They know we are asleep then but it makes no difference to them. They also continuously slam their doors all day, even until late at night. I am sure I have counted about 40 slams today. We have not done anything to offend or upset them. Trust me, if there was, they would have knocked our door down and would have told us by now. We are a quiet family and we do nothing to annoy anyone. My Mom won’t even let us hoover until the afternoon in case anyone is still sleeping at either of the neighbours houses. The crazy thing is the father from next door actually prays the Quraan every morning, and he even comes to the Masjid from time to time, so it's not like he doesn't understand Islam and is a complete heathen. So why would you go out of your way to trouble your neighbours? The time I contacted the local Imam and he did a sermon before Jummah about Huquqool Ibaad, the father from next door was at the bayaan and the Imam clearly stated how grave a sin it was to trouble one’s neighbours and the consequences of it, i.e. you may end up in hell for it. However, it made no difference and he particularly goes out of his way to slam all the doors. His wife (aged late 60’s), and 2 children (aged early 30’s and late 20’s) are exactly the same. We’ve tried having words with them but it makes no difference. The father from next door is actually a very nasty man. He once gave my brother a telling off for parking his car in our yard. It's our yard, so he surely can park it their right? Just this Saturday gone by, they were slamming doors until 1am and then started hoovering that morning at 8am. The bayaans the Imam’s do at our Masjid are in English, Gujerati and Urdu, so they don’t have any excuse for not understanding what is being said to them. OK! So they may not like us for whatever reason, but why make our life hell?

2) We normally go to bed at about 10pm but the door slamming goes on until 1am. The noise is quite loud and it wakes me up so I have started watching movies/documentaries online. I know this is a sin, but is it really my fault? If they did not make noise, I would happily go to bed at 10pm, pray Surah Yaseen, Surah Mulk and my various tasbeehs and fall asleep. However, it is not possible. I can get into bed at 10pm and try and pray, but the door slams would just throw me off whatever I was praying and get me annoyed that I would end up cursing the neighbours. I’ve tried listening to nasheeds and tilawat through headphones but these nasheeds are normally softly prayed and the the slams are much louder, again which makes me get very wound up. So would I be able to pass the sins on to them? It's not really my fault I am having to do these things. As I have said, if the neighbours were quiet, I would happily have fallen asleep come 10.30pm. What else is there that I can do? I tried the ear plugs that Uncle Scimitar mentioned but they didn't drown out the hammering. Does anyone have any ideas?

3) This is really "out there" so apologies in advance. Could it be that me and my family are so sinful, Allah has sent the neighbours as punishment to us?

4) Please can you all make dua for me and my family. I know my Mom is putting on a brave face and is being really patient but I know it is affecting her quite badly. If you were to look under the eyes of anyone in our house, you will see huge bags due to lack of sleep. Also, does anyone have any special duas or prayers that I could pray to make life easier? I know calling the Police would be a really good option, but my Mom is against this and say being patient is the best thing (to be honest, I think she is petrified of the repercussions, the family next door are not a friendly family), but I am not sure how much longer than this can go on. As I have said previously, 3 of the 4 of the people next door have criminal records and have been in and out of prison, so this is obviously worrying as they could make our life even worse than it is.

Jazakallah for reading my essay if you have got this far and thanks to anyone who might be able to help with suggestions and advice. Please don't shout at me if I have said anything you don't agree with regards to Islam. I've not said/done it on purpose, I just don't know if I am coming or going and sleep depravation can have a devsatating effect on one's general health and mental health.

PS. We can't sell the house as everyone loses interest once they know who lives next to us. We could go to the Police but the family in question are a nightmare and would make our life even more hellish than it is now. The only option I guess we have is to buy somewhere that is affordable and then put this house on the market. The only affordable places without having sold the house are in non Muslim areas so I would not be able to go to a Masjid unless I drove there and back.

 

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum hisnameiszzz,

Mmm… I wonder, did you ever take up Scimi's offer to meet up with you? (pensively) It would be interesting to get some independent verification of the problems you are reporting. To be honest, the idea that vacuuming and slamming doors in the adjacent house even penetrates through headphones with music playing, sounds a little surprising.

Why do neighbours bother one another? It could be so many different reasons! As I don't know these people, it is hard to say. You say you are very quiet people, but I remember reading a post you wrote a while back where you talked about family members who shouted. Perhaps there is something you do that annoys your neighbours? Perhaps they are bullies and like hurting people? Perhaps the building is of low quality, and the doors slam by themselves when let go, and it has nothing to do with them trying to bother you? Perhaps they think they are quiet and can't fathom why you're making such a big fuss?

I don't know. But if this is ruining your lives, and you have the chance to move, why don't you? Because you'd have to commute a bit to go for prayers?! (laugh) I remember driving for an hour and a half in rural Nova Scotia with 5 small children in order to get together with a few Muslims for Jum'ah. Three hours to celebrate Eid. (smile) I'm sure you could manage something there in the UK.

I do understand that sleep deprivation can warp the way we look at things, and can make us overly emotional and reactive. If your life is truly unliveable because of your neighbours, realize that you can't control them. But you can control your own life. So, hisnameiszzz… take control and stop hoping for a miracle to transform your neighbours.

Perhaps Allah is Sending you this test to Help you grow… into a responsible and thoughtful man?

May Allah, the Wise, Help you find inner peace and harmony.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Assalaamu alaikum hisnameiszzz,

Salaams, thanks so much for your response.

Mmm… I wonder, did you ever take up Scimi's offer to meet up with you? (pensively) It would be interesting to get some independent verification of the problems you are reporting. To be honest, the idea that vacuuming and slamming doors in the adjacent house even penetrates through headphones with music playing, sounds a little surprising.

No, I never met Scimi. I've not met anyone off of the Internet ever. You could always get verification off my friends who think we are crazy for having carried on living here throughout all this harassment.

I said I have to listen to movies/documentaries to keep the noise out. I'm watching Apprentice 3 right now. He is hammering in the attic again, and it's 22:16 at night now.

Why do neighbours bother one another? It could be so many different reasons! As I don't know these people, it is hard to say. You say you are very quiet people, but I remember reading a post you wrote a while back where you talked about family members who shouted. Perhaps there is something you do that annoys your neighbours? Perhaps they are bullies and like hurting people? Perhaps the building is of low quality, and the doors slam by themselves when let go, and it has nothing to do with them trying to bother you? Perhaps they think they are quiet and can't fathom why you're making such a big fuss.

My family members don't shout at each other, they are just very argumentative. They don't shout, they just argue at normal conversation level just for the sake of it. My oldest sister doesn't live with us, she is the most argumentative one, so it's normally over the phone or if we see her in town. No shouting involved, she just likes to argue over things that are not even important.

The neighbours are not quiet people, they wouldn't be hammering now would they, hehe. But you are right I think, for me to try and work out why they are so noisy is crazy. It's not going to get me anywhere is it. Besides even if I found out why they are being so awful to us, it's not going to make any difference is it.

I don't know. But if this is ruining your lives, and you have the chance to move, why don't you? Because you'd have to commute a bit to go for prayers?! (laugh) I remember driving for an hour and a half in rural Nova Scotia with 5 small children in order to get together with a few Muslims for Jum'ah. Three hours to celebrate Eid. (smile) I'm sure you could manage something there in the UK.

It's my Mom that doesn't want to move (she is elderly, doesn't like change, has sisters/brothers in the opposite street, is still mourning my Dad's death from a few years ago). I would happily move, anywhere, gosh, even the North Pole, as long as I was not next to these monsters! My Mom makes excuses, not me. And as a Muslim, I can't just leave my Mom to fend for herself. That would be just plain awful. Since my Dad died, I has to step in and try and fill his shoes.

I'm sorry to hear you have to travel that long. I was born and bred in an area where there are a lot of Indian Muslims and we have like a ghetto (you know what I mean), and there is a Masjid every half a mile. Mashallah to you and your family for all the travelling you have to do.

I do understand that sleep deprivation can warp the way we look at things, and can make us overly emotional and reactive. If your life is truly unliveable because of your neighbours, realize that you can't control them. But you can control your own life. So, hisnameiszzz… take control and stop hoping for a miracle to transform your neighbours.

Sleep deprivation is a killer, more so when you have Shaytaan whispering in your ear. Even worse when non Muslim people at work tell you "Allah doesn't listen to you, you might as well stop believing" and part of you starts wondering if what they have said actually makes sense. Sorry, my bad. My Imaan is really weak at this moment in time. :embarrass

Perhaps Allah is Sending you this test to Help you grow… into a responsible and thoughtful man?

May Allah, the Wise, Help you find inner peace and harmony.

Jazakallah for your post and your words of wisdom. I really do appreciate it.

 

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum again hisnameiszzz,

The North Pole?

(smile) You mean Canada…?! (chuckle) We have a blizzard going on here right now!

(smile) Incidentally, I no longer live in Nova Scotia. There are many more Muslims here in the Capital region.

Mmm, and regarding Scimi… you should check out his video on the "ranting about Forum speeds" thread. (twinkle) He sounds like he's plausibly from England. Anyway, he lives close to you, doesn't he? You could check out his local masjid if you're worried he's a serial killer or something.

(smile) Yes, we have to be cautious about people we meet over the internet. But frankly, we have to be cautious about those we meet around us, too. And I believe Scimi is quite well known in person by some on this Forum. (mildly) It seems to me that just because we meet someone online, does not mean that we have to completely reject their overtures of friendship and help...

But perhaps I could be mistaken. Anyway, I hope you sleep well tonight.

May Allah, the Source of Peace and Safety, Wrap you in quietude.