The Family Christmas

MKE Brother

MKE Brother

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So it begins, Christmas week.

That time of year where the only Muslim revert in a large family gets to go back and spend time with said large family and watch the gluttony which is Christmas. Now don't get me wrong, I love my family dearly, but family functions are a true test of one's mental well being for me. First there are always the questions about Islam from family members, which I love to answer, just not for the 10th time in 10 different family functions by the same people. It is a religion people, not a new car.

Then there is the food. I grew up on a farm in a small community, everything is made with pork. I even think the Turkey has pork in it. It is at every sitting. Some people get it, I don't eat pork. Some people don't, so everytime it is passed around I am asked if I would like some. I would politely say "no" but the people who do "get it" immediately say to stop being insensitive to the person who just asked me, making me the center point of attention...again...over religion.

Anyway, I felt like venting before going back. May Allah grant me the strength to keep my wits about me for the next week.
 
MKE Brother said:
So it begins, Christmas week.

That time of year where the only Muslim revert in a large family gets to go back and spend time with said large family and watch the gluttony which is Christmas. Now don't get me wrong, I love my family dearly, but family functions are a true test of one's mental well being for me. First there are always the questions about Islam from family members, which I love to answer, just not for the 10th time in 10 different family functions by the same people. It is a religion people, not a new car.

Then there is the food. I grew up on a farm in a small community, everything is made with pork. I even think the Turkey has pork in it. It is at every sitting. Some people get it, I don't eat pork. Some people don't, so everytime it is passed around I am asked if I would like some. I would politely say "no" but the people who do "get it" immediately say to stop being insensitive to the person who just asked me, making me the center point of attention...again...over religion.

Anyway, I felt like venting before going back. May Allah grant me the strength to keep my wits about me for the next week.
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I sympathize with you and my du'3as are for you to accept this trial graciously and be able to show your love of Islam in a constructive manner.
 
Sounds like a tough challenge for you, MKE. I can imagine that you are not looking forward to the experience.

I pray that all of you will feel the love and joy of God during the Christmas season.
I pray that you find a way to express your love and care for your family.
I pray that there will be peace between you and your family, that conversations will be calm and beneficial, that tensions and frictions will not arise.
I pray that this year the Christmas experience will not be a daunting as you fear!

Peace :)
 
How did your Christmas go, MKE Brother?
 
MKE Brother said:
So it begins, Christmas week.

That time of year where the only Muslim revert in a large family gets to go back and spend time with said large family and watch the gluttony which is Christmas. Now don't get me wrong, I love my family dearly, but family functions are a true test of one's mental well being for me. First there are always the questions about Islam from family members, which I love to answer, just not for the 10th time in 10 different family functions by the same people. It is a religion people, not a new car.

Then there is the food. I grew up on a farm in a small community, everything is made with pork. I even think the Turkey has pork in it. It is at every sitting. Some people get it, I don't eat pork. Some people don't, so everytime it is passed around I am asked if I would like some. I would politely say "no" but the people who do "get it" immediately say to stop being insensitive to the person who just asked me, making me the center point of attention...again...over religion.

Anyway, I felt like venting before going back. May Allah grant me the strength to keep my wits about me for the next week.
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I can relate. My family also indulges in pork on many occasions, and it was quite awkward when I first converted to Islam, especially since the period between me converting and getting married was a little more than a month, during which I lived at home.

My parents were not super happy about my conversion, but my mom was awesome. I converted just a month or so before Christmas last year, and of course they always serve ham and turkey. My mom was quite considerate and she went to the halal store and got a halal roast beef (or prime rib or something) and cooked it for my wife and I.

Before we moved across the country we would go to my parents house quite often, and every time we had dinner there, she would make sure all of the meat was halal. Subhanallah it was quite amazing. My dad didn't really understand it, but my mom took every measure to make sure we had halal meat to eat (and also that the non-halal meat wasn't cooked together with the halal meat).

So maybe for the next occasion, offer to buy some of the meat yourself at the local halal market or even ask your mom if she wouldn't mind doing it. These are trials from Allah SWT, but with a little patience and persistence you won't have too many problems insha Allah.

I know that the above doesn't solve the problem about people asking you the same questions a hundred times about Islam, but at least it eliminates some of the awkward "I can't really eat anything at the table" feeling.
 
glo said:
How did your Christmas go, MKE Brother?
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Subhanallah, splendidly. I do not know if the usual suspects were spoken to ahead of time but there was not one mention nor one question, just a "back to usual" holiday gathering. It is usually a period where I take an extended vacation so I apologize for not updating sooner.

While it was very frustrating I know that people are people and by nature a funny lot, which is what stopped my frustration from boiling over and opening my mouth in the past.

Brother rpwelton, I am so glad to hear that your situation turned out so well. Bless your mother and all that she did to make her son and dauther-in-law comfortable :D
 
assalaamu alaykum,

i will point out that things are a lot easier once you point out to your family you are not allowed to celebrate xmas or attend their religious or nationalistic festivals.

ok there are a few arguments at first, but once they are over with not being there during that time when alcohol, haram food, tv, music etc is so normal for them.

assalaamu alaykum,
 
MKE Brother said:
Subhanallah, splendidly. I do not know if the usual suspects were spoken to ahead of time but there was not one mention nor one question, just a "back to usual" holiday gathering. It is usually a period where I take an extended vacation so I apologize for not updating sooner.

While it was very frustrating I know that people are people and by nature a funny lot, which is what stopped my frustration from boiling over and opening my mouth in the past.

Brother rpwelton, I am so glad to hear that your situation turned out so well. Bless your mother and all that she did to make her son and dauther-in-law comfortable :D
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I am so glad that the family Christmas went well for you, MKE. :)
 
I was wondering, Would I be aloud to partake in the normal family tradition of supper and gift giving. Christmas is a Family thing, not a Jesus thing at my grandparent's house. I come from large Irish family of 26(members for xmas supper), the normal break down of the day is: wake up, breakfast eggs (no bacon anymore lol), talk, pass out gifts, spend time together, cousins and step sisters come over and they open/ pass around their gifts, talk, supper, more gifts from the supper-comers(aunts and uncles to my grandparents), more talking. Mum normally goes to xmas-eve mass, but other than that, that is the only real religious aspect of it in my family. I'd be truly heartbroken if I couldnt be with my family when it was physically possible, not to mention how my grandparents would feel, I know my grandfather would cry because every year could be his last, and I am like his fourth son.
 
Linehan.ca said:
Had to make sure because it is still CHRISTmas [Rolls Eyes]
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Some questions need to be answered.

Will you be celebrating Christmas or simply enjoying a family get together?

Will you be asked to take part in any religious ceremony or ritual?

Is your family sensitive to your being Muslim and willing to make concessions to keep you from having to face any awkward situation?
 

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